How to Stop

[vanvisitor1]

I have been on the boards for over 15 years. I would be surprised if any one of you here has spent as much time surfing the boards as me. I have seen well over 300 ladies. Now I want to stop.

I doubt I can get advice. First off, your being here means you likely enjoy what you are doing - good for you, it should be enjoyed. I certainly have. Second, if you did want to stop, well, as you are still here you probably aren't the one I should ask. Third, if you did have some great advice, you probably won't want to share with me. Not much of a reviewer for all my experience was I?

I have thought about reviewing everyone I could remember. Maybe it would purge it from my system. In the process making YTG and Badger's 50 each look like child's play. But I can't do it for the same reason I never have. I am a very honest person. If I am honest about the great ones it is harder to see them. If I am honest about the ones who are not so great it may be hurtful and cause drama.

I can't seem to stop. I have lots of sex outside of the hobby with a beautiful woman. And it is pretty good. Yet I still poon. I still spend endless amounts of time on the net, researching for the next great adventure.

Some might say it is an addiction. I don't know. I do like beautiful women, variety, and great sex.

But it is having too big an effect on my relationship. And I no the risks I am subjecting others to, without their consent. I am tired of living a lie. And my very successful career could be even more successful, and therefore over sooner (I look forward to that day!), if I could refocus.

Too long a ramble. Unlikely to bear fruit. But anyone with deep thoughts, I would appreciate your feedback. SP's too. But if you think, "to hell with him", I am going to go check who is working tonight because I need my dick sucked bad", I understand.

 

[vanvisitor1]

Chaap, I get a great deal out of the relationship. I get everything you can't get pooning. A life partner, love, children, a best friend who loves me for who I am. So your answer is no answer for me. I want it all and I can't stop even though I should.

Farabundo, just no. Canned solutions that involve a religious component are not for me. Of course I think you are just fucking with me anyway.

Thank you both for suggestions.

 

[susi]

i think its a useful excercise to stop any hobby/ activity which you yourself feel is negatively effecting your life. even if you decide to return one day, knowing you can stop is good for your emotional health.

try focusing on a fitness routine and better eating habits. make sure you find things to replace your pooning habits. recognize the things that trigger your need to poon and change the way you react to it...

example;

you see a hot office woman walking along and she's not wearing a bra. she gorgeous, you are already thinking of finding someone to play with....

recognize that its happening and say to yourself, instead i am going to surf the web for amazing food/ recipes or something else....

do you like cars? bikes? boats? remember the things you did before pooning became your sole hobby and draw on those interests to change your behaviour.

if you are serious about your relationship, try to find something you can involve her in as well...once again...food and fitness fall into that category.

the other thing that's good about food and fitness is it makes you feel better over all. this acts as positive reinforcement to the will to exit your pooning hobby.

lastly, take your time and don't beat yourself up. people will "relapse". if you screw up and break your attempt to quit, simply start again. its normal to have a few slip ups while trying to change a behaviour.

i hope that helps a bit. remember if you feel its harmful, then it is. its ok to feel that way and work towards changing it. no one is perfect so be kind to yourself during the transition.

anytime we challenge ourselves to change, we grow as people.

 

[vanvisitor1]

Brilliant, thank you so much for taking the time to write that Susi. Of course, knowing your advice is great is the easy part - acting on it is not. I am going to try.

Oh, and thank you for the great time we had together as well - although it was more than a decade ago and I am only 90% sure you are the Susi that I met! It was fun...

 

[Smilf]

If you're coming in with the attitude (which you are), that no other pooner has as much experience as you or has seen as many ladies as you do (and I know lot's of clients that have) then you might not find exactly what you're looking for in terms of advice. It's always good to go into new things or new areas of life with the attitude that you WILL find what you're looking for otherwise, you're going to use it as an excuse to keep doing what you're doing, because you're already sold on the fact that nobody can help you, since you don't believe that they have as much experience as you do.

Susie gave you great input and I'm not trying to be harsh within my statements, I'm just saying this is what kind of mindset people who have issues such as these go in with and it's making an excuse for yourself to keep doing what you're doing.

IF you really want to do it, then tell yourself you ARE going to do it and erase the word TRY out of the equation.

 

[Ratbert_2008]

I have been on the boards for over 15 years. I would be surprised if any one of you here has spent as much time surfing the boards as me. I have seen well over 300 ladies. Now I want to stop.

I've been doing this for about 8 years and I'm sure I've seen over 100 ladies, not that it matters. Right at the moment, I'm not interested in stopping, but I certainly have thought about it at times.

I doubt I can get advice. First off, your being here means you likely enjoy what you are doing - good for you, it should be enjoyed. I certainly have. Second, if you did want to stop, well, as you are still here you probably aren't the one I should ask. Third, if you did have some great advice, you probably won't want to share with me. Not much of a reviewer for all my experience was I?

Something strange here. You say you want to stop and then proceed to give us reasons why we shouldn't help. Your status as a reviewer is of no relevance - that is only an issue if you want insight on the "gems".

I have thought about reviewing everyone I could remember. Maybe it would purge it from my system. In the process making YTG and Badger's 50 each look like child's play.

Sounds a lot like bragging, but without any supporting evidence. You are acting proud of your "accomplishments". You are still invested.

If I am honest about the great ones it is harder to see them.

If you really want to stop, wouldn't that be a good thing? You need to be honest with yourself, not just about others.

I can't seem to stop. I have lots of sex outside of the hobby with a beautiful woman. And it is pretty good. Yet I still poon. I still spend endless amounts of time on the net, researching for the next great adventure.

Some might say it is an addiction. I don't know. I do like beautiful women, variety, and great sex.

I know about being unable to stop. I don't think it is an addiction, but it is exciting and, in the moment, can be very pleasurable.

Assuming you are sincere about wanting to stop, then I'd suggest you make it harder for yourself to see escorts. In my case, to see escorts I always have a substantial amount of cash at home and make sure that my pay-as-you-go phone is activated. If neither of those conditions were met, it would present at least a bit of an obstacle. If I wanted to stop, maybe in that brief timespan I could make a different decision.

 

[Aleister Crowley]

15 years and 15 posts ,,,,hmmmmm?

 

[chilli]

Chaap, I get a great deal out of the relationship. I get everything you can't get pooning. A life partner, love, children, a best friend who loves me for who I am.

The fact of the matter is at some point most men choose to grow up, some never do.

Once you decide to have a committed relationship with one woman, your supposed to grow up.

It's about choices; life forces you to make hard choices all of the time.

Why choose? Well, whether you care or not, if your partner ever finds out - I'm sure she will be devastated. And if you really care about her -
why would you do that to her or your relationship or a child?

Man up bro.

You do it because your a man, not a boy.

You do it because having character is an important choice in the man you choose to be.

Having character is about what you do when no one else is watching.

 

[diamondd5243]

The fact of the matter is at some point most men choose to grow up, some never do.

Once you decide to have a committed relationship with one woman, your supposed to grow up.

It's about choices; life forces you to make hard choices all of the time.

Why choose? Well, whether you care or not, if your partner ever finds out - I'm sure she will be devastated. And if you really care about her -
why would you do that to her or your relationship or a child?

Man up bro.

You do it because your a man, not a boy.

You do it because having character is an important choice in the man you choose to be.

Having character is about what you do when no one else is watching.

^this


Legend

 

[InTheBum]

My thoughts.......this is a pathetic post!!! :nod:

You wanna stop seeing sp's.....stop. It's that simple. Otherwise STFU!!

ound:ound:ound:

This post is a bit of a cry for help. If the original poster has some person issues that kept him from being in a relationship and/or dating in the real world...then I might feel for the guy. examples would be:

1. Weak erections
2. Dorky and unattractive
3. Fat and digusting to women
4. Micropenis
5. Incredibly shy and introverted
6.
7.
8....


But since he doesn't seem to have issues, I can't really feel for the guy.

 

[InTheBum]

The fact of the matter is at some point most men choose to grow up, some never do.

Once you decide to have a committed relationship with one woman, your supposed to grow up.

It's about choices; life forces you to make hard choices all of the time.

Why choose? Well, whether you care or not, if your partner ever finds out - I'm sure she will be devastated. And if you really care about her -
why would you do that to her or your relationship or a child?

Man up bro.

You do it because your a man, not a boy.

You do it because having character is an important choice in the man you choose to be.

Having character is about what you do when no one else is watching.

This is pure crap. Most people I meet that are married are so fucking boring...I hardly call it growing up.

More like...GIVING UP!:nod:

 

[Poseidon]

I have been on the boards for over 15 years. I would be surprised if any one of you here has spent as much time surfing the boards as me. I have seen well over 300 ladies. Now I want to stop.

That`s a drop in the bucket if you want to talk about # of ladies. But if you really want to quit, book with the ugliest looking sp with the worst service possible. Like this SP,

https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...ink-about-us&p=1425850&highlight=#post1425850

I`m sure we as a collective group can recommend a list of the worst sps to see.

 

[The Lizard King]

I have been on the boards for over 15 years. I would be surprised if any one of you here has spent as much time surfing the boards as me. I have seen well over 300 ladies. Now I want to stop.

I doubt I can get advice. First off, your being here means you likely enjoy what you are doing - good for you, it should be enjoyed. I certainly have. Second, if you did want to stop, well, as you are still here you probably aren't the one I should ask. Third, if you did have some great advice, you probably won't want to share with me. Not much of a reviewer for all my experience was I?

I have thought about reviewing everyone I could remember. Maybe it would purge it from my system. In the process making YTG and Badger's 50 each look like child's play. But I can't do it for the same reason I never have. I am a very honest person. If I am honest about the great ones it is harder to see them. If I am honest about the ones who are not so great it may be hurtful and cause drama.

I can't seem to stop. I have lots of sex outside of the hobby with a beautiful woman. And it is pretty good. Yet I still poon. I still spend endless amounts of time on the net, researching for the next great adventure.

Some might say it is an addiction. I don't know. I do like beautiful women, variety, and great sex.

But it is having too big an effect on my relationship. And I no the risks I am subjecting others to, without their consent. I am tired of living a lie. And my very successful career could be even more successful, and therefore over sooner (I look forward to that day!), if I could refocus.

Too long a ramble. Unlikely to bear fruit. But anyone with deep thoughts, I would appreciate your feedback. SP's too. But if you think, "to hell with him", I am going to go check who is working tonight because I need my dick sucked bad", I understand.

This is easy, sign over all direct accessibility to your bank accounts and finances to your wife or significant other so you only have what she gives you and tell her why. Easy, eh? You're welcome.

And oh yeah, sack up and get some balls.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

I applaud your honesty, vanvisitor1, as I'm sure that more men have thought about this topic, than the present replies would indicate. Is it possible that some men have more testosterone than others? That thoughts about sex take up more of your time, thanks to hormones?

It sounds like what you're dealing with is more of an honour issue, than a physical issue. For whatever reason, your pooning behaviour is giving you 'the guilties' as it has been recently labeled in another thread. You are thinking about quitting yet, as a rather typical impetuous human being, you are already thinking about the loss, in fact, grieving the loss, in advance.

There is nothing wrong with this. Most of us don't make change on the first jump, whatever the behaviour is...smoking, over-spending, over-eating, using recreational drugs. Honestly, most human beings don't really change their unwanted behaviours, unless and until they're forced to. IE. most people know that they're eating poorly, but they don't really change those actions until they get a doctor's warning about their cholesterol or diabetes, or they have a heart attack.

An important question you may want to ask yourself. Would you rather change your pooning behaviour now or soon, of your own free will, choosing the method, or the last lady with which you'll poon, or the date?

Or would you rather change the behaviour after your wife catches on, with you looking back at the times you thought about quitting and didn't?

If you tell us that your systems are impeccable and you'll never get caught, that happens too. But if you use that to prolong your decision, knowing that the question wouldn't have entered your mind if it wasn't important and had some pretty significant relevance to your life, then maybe you're allowing arrogance and immaturity to rule. It sounds like that's what some of the replies from the guys here are making reference to: "if you really wanted to quit you'd just do it."

I would spend some time asking myself "why" I'm thinking about quitting, on a very deep level. Oftentimes when we know "why" we want something, it's easier to devise a plan, or to let it go. Either way, after all these years, and coming out to the community for our feedback, it sounds like you're after some closure.

All the best in your decision...

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Hi PlayfulAlex,

My vocabulary is not large enough to think of a word “Classier” than “Classy”, but if yours is, please consider that word as being used by myself, to describe yourself.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

snip...You do it because having character is an important choice in the man you choose to be.

Having character is about what you do when no one else is watching.

 

[BonerHardBiceps]

I'd like to quit as well. Probably the worst hobby to have after drugs. No hate on SPs, all they're doing is taking advantage of the free system and men's weaknesses.

 

[tadolder]

Hi PlayfulAlex,

My vocabulary is not large enough to think of a word “Classier” than “Classy”, but if yours is, please consider that word as being used by myself, to describe yourself.

Completely agree, way more to Alex than meets the eye and that's a eye full!!

 

[Poseidon]

I'd like to quit as well. Probably the worst hobby to have after drugs. No hate on SPs, all they're doing is taking advantage of the free system and men's weaknesses.

Yep, men's weaknesses = women. How easy we succumb to their beauty and our need for their company.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Completely agree, way more to Alex than meets the eye and that's a eye full!!