Funniest thing that ever happened to you at an incall?

[Savage]

What is the funniest thing that has happened to you at an incall?

For me it was when I was visiting a lady and something happened to her door lock and it jammed. We didn't realize it until I was leaving and we found that we were both locked in. We were both freaking out a bit but managed to MacGyver it open after about 45 mins and then had a good laugh about it.

So what are some of your funny stories?

 

[BIGOZZIE]

I was on lunch break and went to Tina for a massage in Joyce St area. She flipped me for the finale when in walks another Chinese hottie carrying a bowl of fruit. They stood over me chatting merrily away in Chinese and eating while I lay starkers . She finally noticed me and gave me a really sweet smile and left. I kinda hoped she's stay for the finale. I loved Tina she had a way about her of making me feel special.

 

[take8easy]

A while ago, an SP finished me off with CIM and while I was lying on my back catching my breath, she crawled up to me and started to kiss me and sure enough, I started to kiss her back. Little did i know that she still had my stuffl in her mouth!!! A bit of it got into my mouth. I just wasn't ready for it and besides my eyes were closed.... I suddenly started to gag!!!!!! Luckily she had the presence of mind to grab a towel and give it to me. We had talked about cum-swapping kiss on a previous occasion and she had suggested that I should try it. I guess it is not for me. lol....

We still laugh about it.

 

[rlock]

I was visiting an SP, who was with a fairly well-known group, and using the incall shower. Well, the shower fixture just fell right off. I had trouble shutting off the water at all. Someone before me must have cranked it really hard, and actually broke the metal.

 

[yvrvisitor]

Elbowed a SP once.
Can't forget the look while I was on missionary right after.

One and Only time I DATO, She let one go silently ...

Once walked into a room where another SP was busy getting on with her client. We were too busy chatting and ended up walking into a room closest from the door.

Once at a micro where SP was WOT in terms of being a total dead fish. However the sound coming from the room right next to was more than entertaining to be able to get myself off

 

[take8easy]

I have been also kicked (accidentally) and hit on my man things a few times. As soon as recently. as she was getting off me... she swung her leg wide, hit my nose with her feet and then hit my jewels with her knee!!!!!!!!

Also, this Asian lady swiped my thigh with her toe nail. Luckily it was at the end of the session.

 

[yvrvisitor]

About 18 or so years ago when warming lube first came out ... A well known SP who I had seen a multiple times wanted to try it out for the first time ... problem was on me! not on her.

As she put a bit of warming lube on my member and licking and blowing on it ... it was getting warm first but hotter and hotter as seconds go by ...
I was holding on my member and jumping up and down - ended up back into shower ... COLD WATER and lots of soap got it solved at the end.
Needless to say, my little guy refused to perform on that day

 

[Jethro Bodine]

12 years or so ago.
One of my ATF's had this little Pug. Nice little beast but she would lock it out of the room while we were playing.
One time I guess the door was not closed properly because unbeknown to us the dog got in.
We are going at it doggy style and without warning the dog jumps up on the end of the bed and starts licking my balls and sticks its cold wet nose into my anus.
I scream WTF! and jump off the bed. She is wondering WTF am I doing and in a few seconds we both see the dog standing there barking at us.
Then we both start laughing uncontrollably.
We did manage to gather ourselves, remove he dog and within several minutes resume our activities.
When I left that afternoon I asked her to check with the dog and find out how many Milk Bones were her rate?

Cheers
J

 

[DiscreetOG]

A number of years ago I was seeing an Asian SP in Coquitlam. She had this Ikea ( I think ) style bed that was low to the ground (maybe 2 - 2.5 ft.) that had a foam mattress. Anyways, we're going at it missionary style ( we were laying more side-to-side than end-to-end ) and I guess our rhythmic action started walking the slats holding the foam mattress apart underneath us. Well the next think I know we're dropping through this void onto the floor with the foam mattress on either side of us in an off-centred U. We both started laughing hysterically....After re-assembling the bed, we were a little more careful the second time around...

 

[take8easy]

12 years or so ago.
One of my ATF's had this little Pug. Nice little beast but she would lock it out of the room while we were playing.
One time I guess the door was not closed properly because unbeknown to us the dog got in.
We are going at it doggy style and without warning the dog jumps up on the end of the bed and starts licking my balls and sticks its cold wet nose into my anus.
I scream WTF! and jump off the bed. She is wondering WTF am I doing and in a few seconds we both see the dog standing there barking at us.
Then we both start laughing uncontrollably.
We did manage to gather ourselves, remove he dog and within several minutes resume our activities.
When I left that afternoon I asked her to check with the dog and find out how many Milk Bones were her rate?

Cheers
J

I am sure his issue was humans doing it doggy style. .. and a dog not being able to do it human style.

 

[Caramel]

12 years or so ago.
One of my ATF's had this little Pug. Nice little beast but she would lock it out of the room while we were playing.
One time I guess the door was not closed properly because unbeknown to us the dog got in.
We are going at it doggy style and without warning the dog jumps up on the end of the bed and starts licking my balls and sticks its cold wet nose into my anus.
I scream WTF! and jump off the bed. She is wondering WTF am I doing and in a few seconds we both see the dog standing there barking at us.
Then we both start laughing uncontrollably.
We did manage to gather ourselves, remove he dog and within several minutes resume our activities.
When I left that afternoon I asked her to check with the dog and find out how many Milk Bones were her rate?

Cheers
J

omg this is the funniest, so you resumed right after, did you think of wiping or washing yourself first LMAO

 

[Avery]

For over 25 years, there was a full service MP in Winnipeg called Nevada Relaxations I must have gone there about 200 times over the years.

One evening, I went there after the manager had left. The girl I chose led me to the room, as usual, then left while I got ready. When I stepped into the shower, I discovered that there was no soap. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to the front desk. The girl went to check, but couldn't find any soap in the unoccupied rooms. The manager had locked the office, where supplies were kept, so no soap was available. I returned to the room to see what would happen.

A couple of minutes later, my companion returned and handed me a bottle and said, "Here, try this" It was Vagisil! However, it got me clean, and I had a great session.

 

[Hoops]

This was at hawaiian girl MP on hastings
I was in the middle of fucking a beautiful girl and she noticed a guy watching thru the little window in the door.
She yelled at him to fuck off etc. He quickly left
We both were laughing about it as I continued to pound her pussy.

 

[VanessainVictoria]

A number of years ago I was seeing an Asian SP in Coquitlam. She had this Ikea ( I think ) style bed that was low to the ground (maybe 2 - 2.5 ft.) that had a foam mattress. Anyways, we're going at it missionary style ( we were laying more side-to-side than end-to-end ) and I guess our rhythmic action started walking the slats holding the foam mattress apart underneath us. Well the next think I know we're dropping through this void onto the floor with the foam mattress on either side of us in an off-centred U. We both started laughing hysterically....After re-assembling the bed, we were a little more careful the second time around...

I'm a little to familiar with this one. Those damn IKEA beds. :lol:

 

[Claire Monet]

I'm a little to familiar with this one. Those damn IKEA beds. :lol:

Note to self: no sex in my IKEA bunk bed.

 

[Addison Cortez]

A while ago, an SP finished me off with CIM and while I was lying on my back catching my breath, she crawled up to me and started to kiss me and sure enough, I started to kiss her back. Little did i know that she still had my stuffl in her mouth!!! A bit of it got into my mouth. I just wasn't ready for it and besides my eyes were closed.... I suddenly started to gag!!!!!! Luckily she had the presence of mind to grab a towel and give it to me. We had talked about cum-swapping kiss on a previous occasion and she had suggested that I should try it. I guess it is not for me. lol....

We still laugh about it.

lmfao, that is a great story!! lol

Elbowed a SP once.
Can't forget the look while I was on missionary right after.

One and Only time I DATO, She let one go silently ...

Once walked into a room where another SP was busy getting on with her client. We were too busy chatting and ended up walking into a room closest from the door.

Once at a micro where SP was WOT in terms of being a total dead fish. However the sound coming from the room right next to was more than entertaining to be able to get myself off

ohmygawd that's 'awful'ly funny

About 18 or so years ago when warming lube first came out ... A well known SP who I had seen a multiple times wanted to try it out for the first time ... problem was on me! not on her.

As she put a bit of warming lube on my member and licking and blowing on it ... it was getting warm first but hotter and hotter as seconds go by ...
I was holding on my member and jumping up and down - ended up back into shower ... COLD WATER and lots of soap got it solved at the end.
Needless to say, my little guy refused to perform on that day

lmao!! Thank you for that, you helped me think of what my funny incident was...

It was my first few weeks as an SP and my best friend and I did a duo. After she got off, I figured I best keep it clean so I used some hand sanitizer on his wang, between the condom swap lol yeah it took a few inutes of "AHHHH!! IT BURNS!!" and then we were good to go :laugh:

Some destruction of property, light violence and beastiality? Is this amateur hour?

I've accidentally locked people out when they buzz in, flashed my neighbour's guests thinking it was the new client coming down the hall, swiped a phone when I thought I'd left my personal one out in the open (it was the same case!), puked more than just a little while gobbling, kicked over countless glasses of wine and sent shards of glass and red soaring... and that's just at the incall. I'm sure I've still got charges pending for the things that have happened during public dates.

You gotta risk it to get the biscuit, kids.

shit, this post didn't make me get dizzy from laughing so hard, nope :laugh:
flashing the neighbours guests is fucking classic!!!!

 

[uncleg]

Guy walked into the wrong room after coming out of the shower....dropped his towel soon as he came in the door....somewhat surprised to see me laying there on the massage table.

 

[PuntMeister]

For me it had to be the lame session turned into a bazinga moment. There I was laying on my back getting a mediocre hand job from a mediocre SP at a mediocre incall. She didn’t speak much english, didn’t match the pics, and really wasn’t into it. So I didn’t warn her when I was about to pop, nor did I warn her that when I pop, a lot of man goo gushes out at near ballistic velocity. That’s just how my plumbing rolls. Some guys are blessed with a buff bod. I got blessed with an ultra narrow venturi-shaped urethra and supercharged nuts. One time a tantric SP had me cum so hard I hit a ceiling light and the jiz dripped back down on her head. Other times I have had to duck or dodge my head suddenly as goo goes flying over and splats on the wall. So I am thinking maybe a lucky head shot would lighten the mood here. When the first spurt goes flying way up in the air, she clamps her palm down over my erupting volcano and clenches her fingers together. This was a bad idea, as she just created the “thumb over garden hose” effect. I duck my head and shut my eyes tight as the next two eruptions resulted in projectile cum flying around the room like a 360 degree bouncing betty just went off. She shrieks “too much” in the best english she had spoken all day. I roar and cackle unreservedly as the last few pumps ooze between her fingers. Like I can dial down the sperm train! Sorry baby, this one goes to eleven. Finally, the session just got entertaining. Wiped up and left quickly. I knew cleanup was gonna be a bitch, so I got out of there with time on the clock. Still chuckling over that one.

 

[VanessainVictoria]

Note to self: no sex in my IKEA bunk bed.

It's good advice!!

For me it had to be the lame session turned into a bazinga moment. There I was laying on my back getting a mediocre hand job from a mediocre SP at a mediocre incall. She didn’t speak much english, didn’t match the pics, and really wasn’t into it. So I didn’t warn her when I was about to pop, nor did I warn her that when I pop, a lot of man goo gushes out at near ballistic velocity. That’s just how my plumbing rolls. Some guys are blessed with a buff bod. I got blessed with an ultra narrow venturi-shaped urethra and supercharged nuts. One time a tantric SP had me cum so hard I hit a ceiling light and the jiz dripped back down on her head. Other times I have had to duck or dodge my head suddenly as goo goes flying over and splats on the wall. So I am thinking maybe a lucky head shot would lighten the mood here. When the first spurt goes flying way up in the air, she clamps her palm down over my erupting volcano and clenches her fingers together. This was a bad idea, as she just created the “thumb over garden hose” effect. I duck my head and shut my eyes tight as the next two eruptions resulted in projectile cum flying around the room like a 360 degree bouncing betty just went off. She shrieks “too much” in the best english she had spoken all day. I roar and cackle unreservedly as the last few pumps ooze between her fingers. Like I can dial down the sperm train! Sorry baby, this one goes to eleven. Finally, the session just got entertaining. Wiped up and left quickly. I knew cleanup was gonna be a bitch, so I got out of there with time on the clock. Still chuckling over that one.

Okay, this is the one to beat imo!!!

 

[hedgeman]

For me it had to be the lame session turned into a bazinga moment. There I was laying on my back getting a mediocre hand job from a mediocre SP at a mediocre incall. She didn’t speak much english, didn’t match the pics, and really wasn’t into it. So I didn’t warn her when I was about to pop, nor did I warn her that when I pop, a lot of man goo gushes out at near ballistic velocity. That’s just how my plumbing rolls. Some guys are blessed with a buff bod. I got blessed with an ultra narrow venturi-shaped urethra and supercharged nuts. One time a tantric SP had me cum so hard I hit a ceiling light and the jiz dripped back down on her head. Other times I have had to duck or dodge my head suddenly as goo goes flying over and splats on the wall. So I am thinking maybe a lucky head shot would lighten the mood here. When the first spurt goes flying way up in the air, she clamps her palm down over my erupting volcano and clenches her fingers together. This was a bad idea, as she just created the “thumb over garden hose” effect. I duck my head and shut my eyes tight as the next two eruptions resulted in projectile cum flying around the room like a 360 degree bouncing betty just went off. She shrieks “too much” in the best english she had spoken all day. I roar and cackle unreservedly as the last few pumps ooze between her fingers. Like I can dial down the sperm train! Sorry baby, this one goes to eleven. Finally, the session just got entertaining. Wiped up and left quickly. I knew cleanup was gonna be a bitch, so I got out of there with time on the clock. Still chuckling over that one.

LMFAO! that had me laughing out loud literally