Funniest thing that ever happened to you at an incall?
- Thread starter Savage
- Start date
I once had to shoe horn myself into a closet when trying to leave Sugarland.....the next guy was at the door(my session ran a bit long)....the gal took the guy in and let him get prepped then sprung me from the closet.....a couple months later I was leaving the same place and the same situation but I recognized the guy.....I opened the door and shook his hand and said "have fun" and the gal was freaking out LOL.
SR
SR
We were trying to relive high school Drama class again so I got her to act out something which I thought was mundanely simple
Cappa: Hunch up your shoulders
*She hunches up her shoulders
Cappa: Now lean forward
*She leans slightly forward
Cappa: And put your hands together
*Her hands clapped together
Cappa: And give me a great big smile
*Her smiles her most darling-est smile at me
Cappa: Now vigorously rub your hands together
Needless to say, she fails the test as she fell forward laughing uncontrollably and forgets to rub her hands together.
It was fun being dorky together.
Cappa: Hunch up your shoulders
*She hunches up her shoulders
Cappa: Now lean forward
*She leans slightly forward
Cappa: And put your hands together
*Her hands clapped together
Cappa: And give me a great big smile
*Her smiles her most darling-est smile at me
Cappa: Now vigorously rub your hands together
Needless to say, she fails the test as she fell forward laughing uncontrollably and forgets to rub her hands together.
It was fun being dorky together.
It didn't happen at the incall but before. I was about 20 minutes early so I decided to hit up the mall on the way there to go pee quickly. I get there and there are three security guards outside the men's washroom, trying to handle a junkie or strung out guy. I tried to get past them but they essentially said the washroom is closed. No big deal, I head upstairs to the only other washroom and its closed for cleaning. I really had to pee. I just went for the women's washroom. It had like at least 14 stalls so I popped in peed, then had to time it right and only exit when no one else was there.
The provider and I had a good laugh about it when I got to her place.
The provider and I had a good laugh about it when I got to her place.
Hey Puntmeister you can actually hit the ceiling? I wouldn't mind seeing that, as a spectator of course!
Not quite. It hit the ceiling light, which was about 12” or so lower. It was also 15 yrs ago when the boyz were a bit more lively (still spunky tho. Lol). Also, the tantrika had learned some unique techniques where all the squirt would pop in one primal big bang, rather then the usual 3,5, or 7 shudders, so chances of a repeat woud be difficult.
And no circus freakshow for you! Unless you pay for a duo. ROFLMFAO ?
A friend of mine was working from home, while I was staying with her. While she was in a session, I accidentally let her 190+ pound mastiff into the bedroom, where he promptly "introduced himself" in the way of dogs to an unsuspecting gent by trying to stick his big slobbery face somewhere personal! LOL!
I’ve mentioned before in a different link about mix up at a Victoria agency years ago
Long story short, they had 2 entrances & the other gentleman used wrong door
Had another experience with those dam elevators that need a key card, totally forgot & get a call from front desk that my friend had arrived, boy did I get some looks when I went down to meet her
Last one was meeting a young women at a bar prior to heading out for dinner, was all good as she told me what type of coat she would have on & I told her about myself. Made sure I was early, about 15 minutes before we were to meet in walked an absolutely gorgeous young woman wearing the described coat, I waved & she smiled back & sat at bar. So I went up & introduced myself with a little small talk, she said she just stopped in for a quick drink before heading home & intrduced herself. My mouth dropped & her comment was “ got the wrong person I think “.
Very red faced I went & sat back at my table only to be approached by the right woman who mentioned she had come in earlier & saw me talking to the other woman so wanted to make sure we weren’t together.
As we had a drink the other woman left, but as she walked by she commented that ??? Was worth waiting for. A little puzzled the woman I was with commented that she was a friend
Should have asked about a duo, but I was too embarrassed over whole thing
Long story short, they had 2 entrances & the other gentleman used wrong door
Had another experience with those dam elevators that need a key card, totally forgot & get a call from front desk that my friend had arrived, boy did I get some looks when I went down to meet her
Last one was meeting a young women at a bar prior to heading out for dinner, was all good as she told me what type of coat she would have on & I told her about myself. Made sure I was early, about 15 minutes before we were to meet in walked an absolutely gorgeous young woman wearing the described coat, I waved & she smiled back & sat at bar. So I went up & introduced myself with a little small talk, she said she just stopped in for a quick drink before heading home & intrduced herself. My mouth dropped & her comment was “ got the wrong person I think “.
Very red faced I went & sat back at my table only to be approached by the right woman who mentioned she had come in earlier & saw me talking to the other woman so wanted to make sure we weren’t together.
As we had a drink the other woman left, but as she walked by she commented that ??? Was worth waiting for. A little puzzled the woman I was with commented that she was a friend
Should have asked about a duo, but I was too embarrassed over whole thing
Inside Joke
Police found me hiding behind a Micro's (secret) false wall.
[video]https://st3.depositphotos.com/2572561/15854/v/600/depositphotos_158547304-thumb.mp4[/video]
They thought it was hilarious.
_______________________ound:
Police found me hiding behind a Micro's (secret) false wall.
[video]https://st3.depositphotos.com/2572561/15854/v/600/depositphotos_158547304-thumb.mp4[/video]
They thought it was hilarious.
_______________________
ound:
This wasn't funny but I will add this.
A while ago, after walking from 3 different shops in Burnaby/Metrotown area, I was still horny and wanted to get my pipe cleaned.
It was last night, and didn't look like there were any good options available.
Well, if I was going to fuck 35+ SPs that were advertised as 21 ... might as well fuck an auntie at a super low price ... hence I got myself to the infamous Joyce brothel - the one by the station next to a bubble tea place where you can just go anytime to buzz (where making an appointment has absolutely zero point what so ever)
As I was looking at the entrance from across the street, I swear 2 guys walked out and 3 guys walked in within less than 5 min.
After another min of pause and a deep breath, I marched in ... only to find 5 pairs of shoes by 1st door, and 3 pairs of shoes by 2nd door.
A very long 6 min sitting in their couch (with a F.A.T. 49+ year SP who keep asking if I wanted to do her on the couch), a bedroom door opens and one of many customers leave.
The available SP was older but she was tall with big boobs (She could had been an attractive milf 15 years ago), anyway ..... She came said hi and asked if I am okay with her. I said sure since it was $80 or $100 only.
She got me naked and as soon as I handed over the cash, she marched out. Then another older gal comes in topless. I had to double or triple take on her to figure out she wasn't the one who took the money.
Well even before I had a chance of saying anything, she was sucking on my cock.
Well..... too fucking late. 10 min of pipe cleaning and I am out of there.
Not much a guy can do when the little guy takes over.
A while ago, after walking from 3 different shops in Burnaby/Metrotown area, I was still horny and wanted to get my pipe cleaned.
It was last night, and didn't look like there were any good options available.
Well, if I was going to fuck 35+ SPs that were advertised as 21 ... might as well fuck an auntie at a super low price ... hence I got myself to the infamous Joyce brothel - the one by the station next to a bubble tea place where you can just go anytime to buzz (where making an appointment has absolutely zero point what so ever)
As I was looking at the entrance from across the street, I swear 2 guys walked out and 3 guys walked in within less than 5 min.
After another min of pause and a deep breath, I marched in ... only to find 5 pairs of shoes by 1st door, and 3 pairs of shoes by 2nd door.
A very long 6 min sitting in their couch (with a F.A.T. 49+ year SP who keep asking if I wanted to do her on the couch), a bedroom door opens and one of many customers leave.
The available SP was older but she was tall with big boobs (She could had been an attractive milf 15 years ago), anyway ..... She came said hi and asked if I am okay with her. I said sure since it was $80 or $100 only.
She got me naked and as soon as I handed over the cash, she marched out. Then another older gal comes in topless. I had to double or triple take on her to figure out she wasn't the one who took the money.
Well even before I had a chance of saying anything, she was sucking on my cock.
Well..... too fucking late. 10 min of pipe cleaning and I am out of there.
Not much a guy can do when the little guy takes over.
Recently saw an SP at a hotel out East. As we are greatly enjoying ourselves in mish, I'm on top and we're edging towards the end of the bed (away from the headboard). It was super-sexy - I was holding her head (so her neck muscles weren't straining too much) and suddenly...the whole mattress tipped over and our heads hit the ground! I'm so used to battle-tank built hotel beds that don't move to a jackhammer, I did not expect a simple mattress frame (on wheels) that would tip over so easily! I gently rolled off, checked under the bed for the reason (I'm an engineer - its genetic)...meanwhile, she's still upside down nearly on her head! She calls out "Umm, a little help here?" and we got things quickly sorted & re-started!
Another local visit to an agency - I park on a relatively busy street, mid-day, and discretely go to pay for parking. No go - the card isn't getting accepted. I try a few more times and another fellow comes up to offer help. Then one of the friendliest parking enforcers comes over and gives us the history of the parking meters, how they all work, some techniques that help, etc. I sprint over to another meter, FINALLY get it paid off, and start walking briskly to the agency. (mind you, the goal here is to stay DISCRETE). I get to the corner and some tourists stop me mid-stride: "Excuse me, but where's the shopping area?" Oh for god's sake, don't you realize I'm late for some incredible sex???? But fortunately I bite my tongue and politely (as a newly-transplanted Canadian: when in Rome!) explain where to go, bid them good luck, then haul over the final 100m to the agency.
When I get buzzed in, almost out of breath, I explain my struggles and the receptionist and lady burst out laughing. It was a great time with her and starting off with a laugh definitely didn't hurt!
Another local visit to an agency - I park on a relatively busy street, mid-day, and discretely go to pay for parking. No go - the card isn't getting accepted. I try a few more times and another fellow comes up to offer help. Then one of the friendliest parking enforcers comes over and gives us the history of the parking meters, how they all work, some techniques that help, etc. I sprint over to another meter, FINALLY get it paid off, and start walking briskly to the agency. (mind you, the goal here is to stay DISCRETE). I get to the corner and some tourists stop me mid-stride: "Excuse me, but where's the shopping area?" Oh for god's sake, don't you realize I'm late for some incredible sex???? But fortunately I bite my tongue and politely (as a newly-transplanted Canadian: when in Rome!) explain where to go, bid them good luck, then haul over the final 100m to the agency.
When I get buzzed in, almost out of breath, I explain my struggles and the receptionist and lady burst out laughing. It was a great time with her and starting off with a laugh definitely didn't hurt!
lol I don't actually have a bunk bed. I have had mishaps in the bed: we've both fallen off (he broke my fall), the headboard has fallen on top of us, he's fallen off, bed on wheels made it to the other side of the room...
Not at an incall, but I once walked into a massage parlour not knowing it was one. I quickly figured it out when an older Asian lady appeared from behind a curtain in a corset. She shouted "Massage?! Come with me!" lol I was to embarrassed to walk away so I went through with it. Not a bad massage, but no happy ending haha It was a really funny experience but I was happy to get out of there. The place has since closed.
No repeat for me.1) After booking a session on the phone, I arrived at the incall building on 104 Ave in Surrey. I called the lady at the appointed time from the building door to let her know of my arrival and to get the apt and buzzer number.
Me: I'm at the door. Let me have your buzzer and apartment number when you are ready.
Lady: *Giggles* You can't just show up at my door like that, without calling.
Me: But I called and you booked me for now.
Lady: *after a suspenseful pause* But I don't have any make up on.
Me: I don't mind if you don't have any makeup. I actually like natural look.
Lady: And I need to take shower. I just woke up from a nap. I can see you in maybe a half hour or an hour.
Me: *I wasn't ready to wait* Would you rather I called to book a session another time?
Lady: Ok, hun, call me again ahead of time.
I was a bit puzzled and a bit miffed for being stood up, as I ended the call. I looked at the name of the lady I had saved the number under. At that point I realized I had called the wrong lady.
Interestingly, I actually was at the right door, but had called the wrong lady, who also happened to be an SP. I then quickly called the right number and profusely apologized for being about 10 minutes late due to a mixup.
2) I went to this condo tower by the stadium in downtown for a one-hour session with a lady. Once inside she showed me to her bathroom and asked me to get naked and join her in the bedroom. She told me to leave my clothes in the bathroom. There was no hanger or hook to hang my clothes by. The floor was dirty, so I put my clothes in a heap on the basin counter. I saw a bunch of loonies, toonies and smaller coins in the basin, roughly 10-12 bucks. I thought to myself the coins must have dropped out of a previous client's pocket.
In the bedroom, the lady said, ok, lie down. I'll give you a BJ. I tried to kiss her, but she said no kissing. First red flag; she had said yes to kissing when I specifically asked about it on the phone.
The BJ was half-hearted and horrible. The second red flag.
I said, let's just skip the BJ and do FS. She said that's gonna cost you $150 more. I had already paid her $250 for FS, as per her ad. The final red flag.
Me: But you said $250 for FS.
SP: No, that's for non FS. Give me at least 100 bucks and I'll do FS.
Me: I gave you all I had; I don't any more money with me.
SP: What, you come to see hooker (her word, not mine) and you don't carry extra money?
I knew where this was going. I no longer had the mood to stay any longer. At that point I was worried that her room mate, or a dude, might me taking money from the wallet in my pants that lay in a heap in the bathroom. So I grumbled and ended the session.
In the bathroom I made sure my wallet was still intact, put my clothes back on. She walked in behind me, and said, "You know you can do FS for $50 more." I said, no thanks.
Then she saw the coins, pointed her finger at them, and said, "your coins."
I decided to play a little prank, said, "You can have them. Your tip for a great service."
At that point she gave me a long, silent, incredulous look, eyelashes batting. I think she was either thinking I was foolish to tip her on her bad service or she had a pang of remorse. I didn't care to find out and left.
As I was leaving she said come back again and she'd do FS without any extra money. I sarcastically thought, sure, lady, but left without saying anything.
3) At a Bangkok brothel, I was in the middle of a session with a young Thai girl. Suddenly there as a rapid knock on the door. The girl got up, put a small hand towel over my junior and opened the door. Another girl came in, who looked a bit flustered and out of breath. They talked to each other, a bit alarmed. I didn't understand their language and was starting to wonder what was going on. Soon that other girl left and my girl came back to bed and told me there was police raid at another brothel next door, but said not to worry. She said, "Anothal place, police laid. But no, ploblem. Ish ok. Leshh fuck."
I must have done a sex sprint and finished in 10 minutes and got out.
Me: I'm at the door. Let me have your buzzer and apartment number when you are ready.
Lady: *Giggles* You can't just show up at my door like that, without calling.
Me: But I called and you booked me for now.
Lady: *after a suspenseful pause* But I don't have any make up on.
Me: I don't mind if you don't have any makeup. I actually like natural look.
Lady: And I need to take shower. I just woke up from a nap. I can see you in maybe a half hour or an hour.
Me: *I wasn't ready to wait* Would you rather I called to book a session another time?
Lady: Ok, hun, call me again ahead of time.
I was a bit puzzled and a bit miffed for being stood up, as I ended the call. I looked at the name of the lady I had saved the number under. At that point I realized I had called the wrong lady.
Interestingly, I actually was at the right door, but had called the wrong lady, who also happened to be an SP. I then quickly called the right number and profusely apologized for being about 10 minutes late due to a mixup.
2) I went to this condo tower by the stadium in downtown for a one-hour session with a lady. Once inside she showed me to her bathroom and asked me to get naked and join her in the bedroom. She told me to leave my clothes in the bathroom. There was no hanger or hook to hang my clothes by. The floor was dirty, so I put my clothes in a heap on the basin counter. I saw a bunch of loonies, toonies and smaller coins in the basin, roughly 10-12 bucks. I thought to myself the coins must have dropped out of a previous client's pocket.
In the bedroom, the lady said, ok, lie down. I'll give you a BJ. I tried to kiss her, but she said no kissing. First red flag; she had said yes to kissing when I specifically asked about it on the phone.
The BJ was half-hearted and horrible. The second red flag.
I said, let's just skip the BJ and do FS. She said that's gonna cost you $150 more. I had already paid her $250 for FS, as per her ad. The final red flag.
Me: But you said $250 for FS.
SP: No, that's for non FS. Give me at least 100 bucks and I'll do FS.
Me: I gave you all I had; I don't any more money with me.
SP: What, you come to see hooker (her word, not mine) and you don't carry extra money?
I knew where this was going. I no longer had the mood to stay any longer. At that point I was worried that her room mate, or a dude, might me taking money from the wallet in my pants that lay in a heap in the bathroom. So I grumbled and ended the session.
In the bathroom I made sure my wallet was still intact, put my clothes back on. She walked in behind me, and said, "You know you can do FS for $50 more." I said, no thanks.
Then she saw the coins, pointed her finger at them, and said, "your coins."
I decided to play a little prank, said, "You can have them. Your tip for a great service."
At that point she gave me a long, silent, incredulous look, eyelashes batting. I think she was either thinking I was foolish to tip her on her bad service or she had a pang of remorse. I didn't care to find out and left.
As I was leaving she said come back again and she'd do FS without any extra money. I sarcastically thought, sure, lady, but left without saying anything.
3) At a Bangkok brothel, I was in the middle of a session with a young Thai girl. Suddenly there as a rapid knock on the door. The girl got up, put a small hand towel over my junior and opened the door. Another girl came in, who looked a bit flustered and out of breath. They talked to each other, a bit alarmed. I didn't understand their language and was starting to wonder what was going on. Soon that other girl left and my girl came back to bed and told me there was police raid at another brothel next door, but said not to worry. She said, "Anothal place, police laid. But no, ploblem. Ish ok. Leshh fuck."
I must have done a sex sprint and finished in 10 minutes and got out.
Was getting my regular massage one day, and the house was also being used as an air BnB and this particular day there must have been 10 younger ( 20s) people staying there.
No problem, the massage room was off to the side. During the massage my therapist got a call, excused herself to take the call.
I'm laying on the massage table on my back, no draping, fully naked, fully erect when the door opens and I assumed it was my therapist.
I turned to look a the door and there were 2 twenty something young girls getting a full view of me. The were looking for the bathroom which was close but not the right door.
I didn't care, they stood there for a few seconds & just backed out.
Not sure if the therapist knew they saw or if that was awkward for them.
For a moment I was hoping they would help finish the job.
No problem, the massage room was off to the side. During the massage my therapist got a call, excused herself to take the call.
I'm laying on the massage table on my back, no draping, fully naked, fully erect when the door opens and I assumed it was my therapist.
I turned to look a the door and there were 2 twenty something young girls getting a full view of me. The were looking for the bathroom which was close but not the right door.
I didn't care, they stood there for a few seconds & just backed out.
Not sure if the therapist knew they saw or if that was awkward for them.
For a moment I was hoping they would help finish the job.
A number of years ago I was with my fav SP at the Fox den. She rode me hard in C G and came really hard. So hard I felt a pain my unit. Couple hours later at my office I took a leak and noticed a large bruising. She popped a blood vessel. Not good for wifey to see. Kept it hidden but next day had a racquetball game with good buddy. Showed him and said pal you whacked me in the dick with the ball. Told wifey, she wanted to see and laughed. Last C G with that one. What an orgasm she had though. Almost worth it.
