Crush with SP

[Whd]

I'm having crush with SP and I think she knows that but she is using that as a my weakness and each time I book the appt either she make me wait or cancel it and still my mind was looking for her and beg her. We both know each other personally apart from this business.. Whenever I see any other sp instead her I feel like wasting money ..And now I just want to get rid of dramatic life and live peacefully.any one had experienced such drama ? And suggestion to get rid of this diseases ? Thanks

 

[westwoody]

End it right now, turn around and walk away. Thank your lucky stars you had the clarity of vision to see this before it was too late.

 

[Justin Beaver]

Best thing you can do to take your mind off her is to start seeing someone else who you can have a great time with...another SP or a civilian will work.

 

[summerbreeze]

maybe instinctively she knows or senses you are getting attached and trying to discourage the attachment without offending you

might not be malicious in terms of messing with your emotions, just a self defense mechanism

 

[Sonny]

Is it realistic? It's very likely not. But not impossible.

The question has already been answered by OP. This SP is fucking with his head and heart. Hardly the basis of a good relationship.

Run, don't walk, as fast and as far as you can.

 

[voodooking]

Having a crush on an sp can lead you to having feelings for her which is a huge mistake in my opinion.
If you are obsessed with a particular sp than it is time you avoid her and see someone else.

There are some sp's that I have seen multiple times that I really get along with and that I am comfortable with them but I never even think or let it go any further than that.
I have favorite sp's that I like to see but I don't ever think of them as a possible girlfriend.

Maybe a friend with benefits at best. lol

 

[sybian]

You have to figure out if the feeling is mutual..A crush or infatuation may be unhealthy for you.
If she feels the same way, you could have something real, but it would be an uphill battle for the both of you.
I've had a relationship that everyone felt was wrong for the both of us....The entire world was against us, so we became a world unto ourselves, and removed our feelings from society.
My location makes that possible for 95% of the time.
Eventually it became a note of defencive contention for us..It was her and I against the world, and I welcomed the confrontations..Making me a bit of an asshole at times, but the struggle became too much.
There are a few ladies right here I have some affection for, and I'm not sure if it is mutual...I'd like too think it is, and I do try to keep it in check, as I'd like too think it is harmless.
We are people....Seeking affection, and acceptance, but those two things in your case must be mutual, and must entwine with each other.
If she is playing with your feelings..Or you with hers, that is a recipe for disaster.
You are then going to have too look at yourself and your well being, and realize you are in fact standing alone, and find the strength ..to ride off into the sunset.

 

[badbadboy]

Sometimes we all find ourselves attracted to SP's based upon the level of closeness found over time with many repeat visits.

If you feel she is playing with your emotions as a way to manipulate you, then its really time to move on.

No healthy relationship whether supposedly professional or with a civilian should ever have one person feel they are taken advantage of by the other person.

It's just wrong and its time to make changes IMHO.

 

[hornygandalf]

... I think she knows that but she is using that as a my weakness ... either she make me wait or cancel it .... We both know each other personally apart from this business..

I'm not going to disagree with anyone here, as ultimately maybe you should break it off. But first:
- don't assume that she is consciously playing with her emotions. That may be the end result, but that may not be what she is intending.
- why does she make you wait or cancel? Is she struggling with what is going on and what the boundaries should be? You know each other outside of the business, so it could also be awkward for her but she doesn't want to hurt/reject you, which is manifesting itself through this behaviour.
- talk to her about your feelings for her and find out what hers are for you. She may or may not be transparent with you, but by initiating that conversation it can clear the air. And then talk through where you go from there. It might be the best for both of you that you take a break with no contact for an extended period of time, or maybe the relationship evolves into something else. Be careful with the latter, though, as many people will become possessive once in a relationship, and her profession could become very difficult for you to accept... unless you are fine with an open relationship. But, you have to be able to talk all this through with her openly, honestly and transparently. Put aside any fear or agenda as to outcome. Be totally present in the moment in the discussion.

If you decide to walk away from it, at least it is done with some good closure and understanding on both sides, which is much the best way to handle something like this.

I have a special friendship with a young lady whose actions at one point could have been interpreted as playing with my emotions, but in talking it through with her I learned that she had similar feelings as I did and didn't know what to do about it. She was grateful I initiated the discussion as it then set our friendship on a whole different level with an understanding of what the limits and constraints are at this point in time. And we have been able to develop our friendship on a much deeper level as a result. It would have never happened if I hadn't talked with her about it.

 

[lukom]

We're all adults and responsible for our own choices. You should be open with her and tell her how you feel, if you find that this isn't going to go anywhere with her after that, move on. Many SP will not engage in relationships because they don't want their relationship to get in the way of their hobby/career, in some cases they may make exceptions with an ultra open minded fellow who knows full well of their career and doesn't get in the way.

Years ago I had a short relationship with a girl who was a former provider, so if you keep in contact with this girl and remain friends with her without seeing her for your fantasies you may be able to make something happen with her if she ever decides to retire, you should still try and move on either way.

I knew a guy down east who got obsessed and super attached with an SP. He was seeing her regularly and exclusively. He decided that he was going to try to win her over and when he received a generous settlement from an MVA claim he devised this plan to do so. He convinced her to take a trip to Mexico with him for a couple of weeks. He would cover all costs, flight, food, hotel, all inclusive, plus excursions, entertainment and activities off the resort, and the amount she agreed to take for donation (it wasn't cheap).

They went and got tested together a couple of days before their trip together.

They went on their trip and it seemed like they trusted each other to constantly have BB sex at moments. They were always together, went to various places, she even seemed to be enjoying herself with him and he even thought he got her to fall for him. The day before they left to return he decided to profess his feelings for her and she said she was overwhelmed and needed to think this through.

The day after they returned she changed her number and he couldn't call her anywhere and disappeared from his area and she never posted again or ever called him again.

Some months went by and he stumbled on one her ads and it turned out she had moved to a new province to continue with her career from there. So be super careful on how far you let your feelings get to you for an SP, and even just for anyone.

 

[Whd]

Thanks everyone for your great suggestion..it help me to move forward and stop seeing her

 

[Whd]

Thank you for suggestion ! I agree with you but I think my main concern is get rid of my emotional dilemma...I haven't been think about what happen once I confess I front of her.

 

[Whd]

I'm not going to disagree with anyone here, as ultimately maybe you should break it off. But first:
- don't assume that she is consciously playing with her emotions. That may be the end result, but that may not be what she is intending.
- why does she make you wait or cancel? Is she struggling with what is going on and what the boundaries should be? You know each other outside of the business, so it could also be awkward for her but she doesn't want to hurt/reject you, which is manifesting itself through this behaviour.
-

Cancelling appt is just one instance. Many occasions she asked me awkward favours such as booking room under my name for her incall, asking favour to do against your work ethic ( like if your lawyer and someone ask to disclose clients info.) and refusing such favour lead to threatening me for blocking # and asking for double price ..things going beyond my controls and I'm so afraid to even talk such thing.

 

[Man in Submission]

Cancelling appt is just one instance. Many occasions she asked me awkward favours such as booking room under my name for her incall, asking favour to do against your work ethic ( like if your lawyer and someone ask to disclose clients info.) and refusing such favour lead to threatening me for blocking # and asking for double price ..things going beyond my controls and I'm so afraid to even talk such thing.

That sounds perilous... potentially dangerous in a lot of ways. Really, you just have to walk away ASAP.

 

[hornygandalf]

Cancelling appt is just one instance. Many occasions she asked me awkward favours such as booking room under my name for her incall, asking favour to do against your work ethic ( like if your lawyer and someone ask to disclose clients info.) and refusing such favour lead to threatening me for blocking # and asking for double price ..things going beyond my controls and I'm so afraid to even talk such thing.

Okay... that wasn't in your original post and so does change the nature of this significantly. Based on this, yes, she is taking advantage of your emotions and you need to get out of it. Telling her upfront, face-to-face why is the best thing, but it isn't easy and will take courage on your part. But, I think you will feel much better (and it will be easier to let go) if you do that. Be strong. Be true to yourself. Tell her, and then walk away because you deserve better.
Will it be painful. Yes, but there will be pain however you do it. This way you will have closure.

 

[sybian]

You talked about your "Emotional Dilemma"...Dude ,your going to have that in spades if you allow this too go on.
There has been some decent advice here from many that have been in the same position...You really need to think about the position that the both of you have put yourselves in.

 

[Larry Storch]

(snip)Telling her upfront, face-to-face why is the best thing, but it isn't easy and will take courage on your part. But, I think you will feel much better (and it will be easier to let go) if you do that. Be strong. Be true to yourself. Tell her, and then walk away because you deserve better.
Will it be painful. Yes, but there will be pain however you do it. This way you will have closure.

I have to disagree with this part of your post. Based on the OP's update, she might not take too kindly to a frank, adult conversation. I'd suggest just walking away. He doesn't owe her anything. I went through a similar situation early on in my experiences with this hobby and it cost me more than I could afford. Eventually I just cut off all connection.

 

[masterblaster]

I have become good friends with an SP I have known for a few years. We talk on the phone for 2 or 3 hours at a time maybe once a week. We email or text each other almost every day. I know her family and have met her friends and she has met some of mine. She invites me over at least once a week and usually twice or more a week, have seen her four times in the last six days this week. I often sleep over at her place if I've had too much to drink. The frequency of having sex with her has dropped off it seems but we socialize more often now.

I help her out when she needs stuff done around the house and she often cooks for me. We share a lot of details about our lives and have long talks, often until 3 or 4 in the morning. I have developed feelings for her and she knows this. We are not particularly affectionate with each other, but she will often give me a hug when I leave her place and a quick kiss. We both enjoy each other's company and are both a bit lonely I supppose so spending time together is something we both like. Not sure how long it will continue like this but she seems to want to spend more time with me lately.

 

[westwoody]

Cancelling appt is just one instance. Many occasions she asked me awkward favours such as booking room under my name for her incall, asking favour to do against your work ethic ( like if your lawyer and someone ask to disclose clients info.) and refusing such favour lead to threatening me for blocking # and asking for double price ..things going beyond my controls and I'm so afraid to even talk such thing.

None of this is beyond your control.
You don't have to pay double. You do not have to pay anything. There are plenty of other ladies who will treat you with respect. See them instead.
Do not bother talking to her. Stay away. If you speak to her she will manipulate you.
No frank discussion, no goodbye, no explanation. You do NOT owe her anything.
Just send a text saying you are not seeing her anymore and have NO FURTHER CONTACT. Period.

 

[Equity Market investor]

How many times in the past, here on Perb, have we all read statements from both parties saying.....steady regulars trump over non regulars? This thread sort of defeats the old thoughts and assumptions in regards to that.
If each can block their emotions towards each other, then the game can go on and on and on. However, to think feelings will not be created with long term regulars .....that can be foolish. Both woman and men have hearts and are human......just saying.