The Porn Dude

An Escorts Venting

*Hot*For*You*

New member
Nov 11, 2009
8
1
0
Vancouver
THIS IS MY RELEASE: not sexual... my verbal emotional psychological release....

DEAR HOBBYISTS:

I am an escort, I feel very proud of the work I do, and offer the best service I can provide.
After a few experiences I feel it is VERY frustrating and depressing to work in the industry given the following issues I have run into... THIS IS MY RANT!!!

1) You dont shave down there. FINE. But atleast shower with soap on the lil guy so he doesnt smell! BUT if you want your lady to give you a real mind blowing knock your socks off... I WOULD SHAVE. JUST LIKE ALL THE SPs DO!!!

2) You dont shower. Then atleast do the water/soap scoop onto the lil guy in the washroom before, or use a wet wipe! I dont want to find anything down there that doesnt belong there!!!

3) You have facial hair: either trim that shit down and brush your teeth and chew gum and use mouthwash. So I DO NOT see/taste/feel or find residue of your last meal/girl.

4) You GO OVER ON MY FUCKING TIME. YOU FUCKING PAY ME FOR TIME AND I OFFER YOU THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE IN THAT TIME. I will not be a fucking bitch and kick you out once the alarm goes, but DO NOT take an advantage of me. 5 TO 10 MIN OVER IS NO BIGGY BUT YOU BETTER GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BECAUSE YOUR NOT BEING FAIR AND ITS VERY FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL. I FUCKING HATE YOU PUSH-THE-TIME-UNTIL-I-HAVE-TO-GET-UNCOMFORTABLY-RUDELY-ASK-YOU-TO-LEAVE, I hate doing it, and you probably hate me doing it too (whether you want to stay longer or not). I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS!!! YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE AND ABUSE YOUR PRIVLIDGE!!! And if you havent cum yet, NOT MY FAULT, IM NOT WAITING AROUND ALL DAY TILL HE STARTS COOPERATING!!! PEACE!!!

5) You wait until I have to ask for payment? FUCK YOU. You KNOW fucking better. Piece of shit.

6) You test everything I say, make what you think are "witty" comments? YOUR JUST BEING FUCKING RUDE. Your pissing off the girl whose going to be sucking off your yingyang, so Id be nice if I were you, if you dont want TEETH MARKS ON THE LIL GUY, because yes, HES FUCKING LITTLE.

I LOVE MY JOB. AND MY JOBS LOVE ME. EXCEPT WHEN SCUMBAGS VIOLATE THE UNSPOKEN RULES OF THE INDUSTRY WORLD!!!

Thank you for your time. Its not like I can vent to anyone else really. So I needed that.

Cheers.
 

Bartdude

New member
Jul 5, 2006
1,252
5
0
Calgary
Sometimes people need to sit on a post before publishing it.
 

MrBrown

Making memorabe moments
Nov 29, 2008
352
3
18
Vancouver, BC
This is quite a sad post ... those that need to read it and change their behaviour don't give a damn.

With all due respect to any SP, if the sessions starts out such that you don't see your payment in an envelope and the guy has facial hair that is the time to call the whole thing off. BEFORE he takes off his underwear!
 

jnewton

Loitering on PERB
Aug 9, 2010
378
0
0
be fair, sometimes hes not so little, sometimes the guy leaves before you want him to, sometimes a guy forgives your bad day without making you feel like a twat, sometimes he smells so good youd like to stop chatting so you can sit in his lap and put your nose on his neck.. sometimes he rocks you

write that post too and you'll feel better than any rant after thinking about all the wicked times
Very classy reply Alix
 

Mr.Boggo

New member
Jun 1, 2010
328
4
0
Translation:

1. I'd prefer you shave your pubes, it makes my experience better
2. Please shower, scrub and wash the crack of your ass
3. Please shave, whiskers are rough (especially with DATY) (pay attention to the razor commercials, they're aimed at the WOMEN that buys..not the man)
4. You paid for 1 hour so 1 hour it is. It's called "business"
5. Pay upfront. This happens other places like..the liquor store, many food places, buying a car, etc.
6. Please STFU, I've slept with 10,000 men, you aren't going to impress me.

Synopsis. You might not like how she's saying it but in her world..it's not much to ask.
I agree, she's not saying anything outrageous or that hasn't been said before or that we shouldn't already know.
 

Ray

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2005
1,235
313
83
vancouver
A client that:

1) Doesn't groom 'down there'

2) Doesn't bathe

3) Has too much facial hair

4) Doesn't brush or use mouthwash

5) Can't tell time

6) Needs to be reminded about money


Maybe you shouldn't be dating homeless guys...

Just kidding...oh dang, that was one of those 'witty' comments that throws you off as well.
 

garfieldbd

New member
Aug 8, 2010
16
0
0
Mission
I'm with dood. Obviously there is a lot of emotion in the post, but I don't think it is too much to ask. Seems to me that following these rules is common common courtesy.
 

johnperb

New member
Sep 28, 2009
200
0
0
I have to admit, I've broken the not handing over the money thing right away. But my explanation is she was so gorgeous I kind of blanked out and just followed her to the bathroom. I literally don't even remember the way to the bathroom or what any of her room looked like. But after like 5 seconds of her staring at me in the bathroom I got the hint and handed over the money.
 

MrBrown

Making memorabe moments
Nov 29, 2008
352
3
18
Vancouver, BC
Vented, posted and about to be deleted.

Miss, we'd love to welcome you here. But please get your status changed to red.
You of course rule moderator but I don't see what is so bad about this post... at least it is real, comes from the heart.

For all you know this might be an advertiser who wants to write this anonymously.

If there's any chance offending pooners will change their ways as a result of this the whole community benefits.
 

Moderator-1

New member
May 3, 2008
505
5
0
Modsilvania
We hope it's not an advertiser - because if it is, then they are using multiple ID's.

You of course rule moderator but I don't see what is so bad about this post... at least it is real, comes from the heart.

For all you know this might be an advertiser who wants to write this anonymously.
 
Ranting and venting is understandable, but dont insult your main clients.......

I agree with Bartdude and dood.

Sometimes you should sit on a post, a little bit.(don't reccommend insulting pooner penis sizes either)
probably shouldn't type angry. not great for business I Imagine.

I really prefer doods translation, clear, fair and concise.
sucks that it needs to be said so often but yes the following does need to be reminded now and then
(I bet the unclean client isnt on this board though, or he'd know better)

Translation:

1. I'd prefer you shave your pubes, it makes my experience better
2. Please shower, scrub and wash the crack of your ass
3. Please shave, whiskers are rough (especially with DATY) (pay attention to the razor commercials, they're aimed at the WOMEN that buys..not the man)
4. You paid for 1 hour so 1 hour it is. It's called "business"
5. Pay upfront. This happens other places like..the liquor store, many food places, buying a car, etc.
6. Please STFU, I've slept with 10,000 men, you aren't going to impress me.

Synopsis. You might not like how she's saying it but in her world..it's not much to ask.
And sweetie, when you say something bad, you should follow up with something nice.
like thanking the many many many men that were clean, polite nice and paid upfront.
from my experience, most clients (especially hobbyists) were upscale and topnotch.

hope this doesnt hurt her business though, everyone's entitled to having a bad day.
especially after a bad experience, like she seems to have had. It's a tough job sometimes.

PP :)
 

Moderator-1

New member
May 3, 2008
505
5
0
Modsilvania
We agree - and that's why we didn't ban, delete or issue and infraction.
But the rules, them's the rules.

Still there are some valid points, imho - So, wisen up members!

Yeah Mod, I respect your opinion and all but if the post is legit, sometimes we need to see this. If we want to make this hobby legitimate, we need to respect both sides of the deal.
 

Papa Chongo

Who's your Papa
May 22, 2010
488
6
18
Vancouver
Leave the post,

Hot 4 You,

1.) I trim, don't shave, it is uncomfy while it grows in, but it is always trim
2.) I shower at least once everyday, if I come see you I have showered first, but if you suggest accompanying me in the shower I will gladly do it again, please have unscented body wash cause I can't be smelling like Jasmine
3.) I shave everyday, with shaving cream that makes my skin silky smooth, better for you while I DATY, please feel free to at least fake the fact that it is more enjoyable that way.
4.) I can get off in 5 minutes, but I have paid for an hour, or two, so don't rush me, play with him, cuddle him, when I'm ready I'll let you know, I'm past 40, so all i get is one shot, let's make it a good one!
5.) Have a nice pretty dish with a sign that says put donation here, I always look around awkwardly for the right spot, and I don't want to ask where I should put it.
6.) Please pretend that I am special, 250-300 Per hour is what most men make in a day / or two, so understand, I am making a significant choice to come see you, I really need what you are offering.
7.) Pay attention to me while i leave, don't sit on the couch and count the donation, I promise I haven't shorted you, infact I probably gave you $40 more than I was supposed to, and that was before we started!!!

And lastly, I may be older, I may have a belly, I may be unappreciated at home, I may be young, unexperienced and quite possible I may be a complete social retard, but for one hour I want to be Brad Pitt, Lebron James, and Will Smith all in one, oops I forgot Ron Jeremy too....

To all the ladies that have appreciated my presence or company for a limited period of time, I love you and salute you, to those who rushed me through, and were disconnected, well you won't hear from me again.

JG!

OH!, and PS, Paige you're my favorite!
 
Last edited:

jnewton

Loitering on PERB
Aug 9, 2010
378
0
0
Great reply JG
 
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