How many visits with an SP before you move on?

[Shanghai]

Using those classification criteria, my "regulars" number in the dozens, some spanning decades.
Cash flow is the primary limiting factor for the other many dozens of others that I would love to have as "regulars".
Starbucks I have 3 latte's a day during the good times, while other times I will make my own drip coffee 3x daily, so circumstances dictate choices. Driving a Toyota instead of a Ferrari.

Using that starting point that says each persons is equal to another, one girl might charge a lot but ticks a lot of boxes in terms of looks, personality, skills in bed, kissing, they might have an alarm that goes off exactly at 60 minutes etc. Then there is one who doesn't charge a lot, so an overnight, dinner, movie, chit-chat, someone perhaps you would not want your friends to see your "choice" in a supermarket, vs the another that clearly looks "out of your league" and "you must have paid a lot for THAT one". LOL

I might feel like daty one day, dato another, kissing, 69, pizza night, tranny night, overnights, cow-riders, each "regular" has a different mix of qualities that fits the bill at any one time.

There are no rules or hard categories because each new girl brings something new to the table that changes the "rules" so I tossed that idea long ago. Hunter gives great golden showers, will stick her finger up your butt and ride your face like no one else, but doesn't kiss. Charlie/Clementine is a great kisser and fun to talk to and sings and pianos, but doesn't do butt stuff. Kimmy and Deneh do great greek but have very different personalities. Blaeke is a fabulous homey mult-orgasmic being that is the perfect milf that is awesome to chill out with drinks. Jenna is my off-the-books one-trick pony girl that we make food and spend a few hours together then she goes back to her boyfriend.Trannys like butt stuff. Black girls are awesome period. I might be bored one day and try 5 different girls, one might turn out to be a suitable regular. Another girl may just be cheap to bone and always be around when others are not, so by that virtue alone she may become a regular.

 

[PierreCoeur]

I saw a regular SP for about 12x and even took her out for a few social activities (movie, dinner). I found that as we became more comfortable, the sex became less intense and felt like her effort decreased. I was disappointed because I thought it would get better and more memorable. So this makes me question seeing any SP more than a handful of times. Just my own experience and not meant to generalize to anyone else. Respect different strokes for different folks!

Sex became less intense and you felt her effort decreased. Sounds like she started acting like a girlfriend or worse "a wife"

This exactly proves my points. If you are seeking a girlfriend relationship then start looking for a girlfriend. Not sure the cost or the pay as you go scenario is the best way to go, especially when the "take you for granted" decline in services starts to occur.

For the SP's reading my stuff and ready to pounce on my opinion, that's great however consider this. If you want to have a regular stable of clientele that see you every one or two weeks, wouldn't the Sugarbaby life be easier ?

If I want someone to be my friend, I don't want to pay someone to be my friend. That's just not my desire. I choose not to become someone's "REGULAR" because I want a different person to meet every week. It is an adventure and I love an adventure.

For the guys who are worried about being scammed. In the 10 years that I have been doing this, I have probably lost about $6000, maybe more. But I don't have a broken heart and don't feel cheated by a single woman whom I have had sex with, outside of relationships.

Do I repeat with certain women and would I ever consider one of them someone I would love to have a relationship with.

Absolutely but never as a regular client.

 

[PierreCoeur]

I think age is an important factor in this, we tend to prefer comfort over thrill when we get older.

Age has nothing to do with it. I am over 65 and I prefer thrill. It's more how you are hard wired. If you have lived your life with limited experiences and don't like to take risks, that is who you are. It doesn't change as you grow older.

 

[cruefan]

For me personally it is honestly more exciting to see new people rather than constantly repeating with a provider and becoming their regular.

On occasion I will repeat with a select few providers that I really enjoy seeing but I do not see them every time they come to my city making it a familiar routine that could get stale.
Repeating often with a provider can be a slippery slope and I don't want to feel obligated to see them every time they come to my city or feel some type of guilt for not seeing them.

Clients need to realize that without their money this fantasy thing is quickly a wrap for them.
This is strictly about safely having fun and not about catching feelings or creating a paid false friendship.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Client Retention
Excellent thread.

I have a few categories:
regulars whom I may see from once every couple weeks to every few months or so
(the frequent ones are MP's who are excellent at taking care of any deadly semen backup I may have)

semi regulars who offer a particular service that may fit what I am feeling at the moment
(such as really dirty, get down to it, grab my unit even before my pants are off and fuck against the wall kind of gig)

discoveries
(what many of us enjoy as there is the excitement of what is new)

Any of these may fit the client retention category just different frequency.

I have learned to avoid attachment other than understanding the service provided and appreciating what I have received.

Again excellent thread!

 

[Booblover123]

This is a great thread for sure,i have fallen into this trap twice over the years.The 1st one lasted three years with once a week visits and didnt end well.My latest situation last 4 years with another bad outcome.Its hard to be friends and have a business relationship at the same time,the illusion blows up over time and it is heartbreaking.Like the old saying goes fool me once shame on you,fool me twice shame on me.Hopefully i have learned my lesson but probably not lol!

 

[gugga_madi]

Age has nothing to do with it. I am over 65 and I prefer thrill. It's more how you are hard wired. If you have lived your life with limited experiences and don't like to take risks, that is who you are. It doesn't change as you grow older.

I agree with most of the points you are making and I have a similar opinion but I am sure as a person grows older it changes his viewpoint about the world around him and his activities also change a little. Even if someone thinks age doesn't affect him, reality may be different.

I agree with your point about friendship in this hobby 100 percent though. Friendship with SPs is a one way street and you shouldn't pay someone to be their "friend". It is contrary to the very definition of friendship.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

I agree with most of the points you are making and I have a similar opinion but I am sure as a person grows older it changes his viewpoint about the world around him and his activities also change a little. Even if someone thinks age doesn't affect him, reality may be different.

I agree with your point about friendship in this hobby 100 percent though. Friendship with SPs is a one way street and you shouldn't pay someone to be their "friend". It is contrary to the very definition of friendship.

I have been pooning for over 40 years and I am not going to stop any time soon. So I am older. Yes my viewpoint has changed. Yes my activities have changed as in I no longer ski the double blacks and I get help when I think I might get hurt so yeah, the reality is mortality is out there. But. Thankfully I can still enjoy a full evening of great sex.
So, since from what you have written you are not one of us older chaps on here, age has nothing to do with it.

 

[bjl85]

I always look for a keeper. For example, I've only ever seen Anastasia at Rouge, and I've seen her 12+ times now. I'll usually hear about someone in the reviews section, or see a photo in LL, and so I might dip my toe in once, but, I like to stick to my GTG. On the times that I've stopped seeing a regular SP, it's because the most recent experience was subpar, to say the least.

 

[blakealridge]

For those of you saying “I don’t want a girlfriend why would I want a regular”: is there no appeal to NSA emotional connection?

 

[gugga_madi]

I have been pooning for over 40 years and I am not going to stop any time soon. So I am older. Yes my viewpoint has changed. Yes my activities have changed as in I no longer ski the double blacks and I get help when I think I might get hurt so yeah, the reality is mortality is out there. But. Thankfully I can still enjoy a full evening of great sex.
So, since from what you have written you are not one of us older chaps on here, age has nothing to do with it.

I think I may have sounded the wrong bell here, I don't mean to say that older age means the sex drive is lower or anything related to it especially in a demeaning way here. Even though age has some correlation to sexual appetite, It also depends on a whole lot of other factors as well like your genetics, your health, your lifestyle etc., so yes someone older can enjoy the thrill of a good evening sex.

I mentioned my point in regards to what would be your ideal date when you are a bit mature in age? Familiarity and comfort vs thrill (e.g are you more likely to go to a night club to pick up a girl and have sex with her while high on drugs or you would prefer a more mature and smooth GFE experience). There can be other variables which can effect your response but I think age has some direct correlation to it.

 

[gugga_madi]

For those of you saying “I don’t want a girlfriend why would I want a regular”: is there no appeal to NSA emotional connection?

I think emotional connection is a string in itself, so its not NSA. For me NSA means, no emotional connection. I can have an amazing physical connection with the other person but I do like to keep it without any emotions. Emotions are abstract and have no boundaries.

 

[PierreCoeur]

No Strings Attached Emotional Connection. Isn't that a bit of an Oxymoron?

Strings are attached to our hearts when a friendship forms. While one wishes to suggest that an emotional bond between two individuals can exist without strings, I am going to argue that a bond is a bond.

NSA is very much like that G-Spot. It doesn't exist or can't exist indefinitely.

 

[happycanuck99]

I'm finding this to be a FASCINATING thread, quite possibly because it's something I've wrestled with myself! I can't even seem to keep up. Before I hit [Post Reply], more messages arrive! Anyway, this will be a long one - feel free to ignore it completely.

I have been seeing the same woman for 15 years. She is retired now and we have become friends over the years so still see her very often.

I like ladies who feel like “friends with benefits” and stick by them to retirement. A couple well past retirement.

I’ve been seeing the same SP for a little over 4 years, 56 visits and still not getting enough of her!

I prefer to stick to one SP for a prolonged time. Less hassle that way. I've visited my last regular 15-20 times until she left Canada.

For me this is the stuff of dreams! So far I haven't managed to find one like this. I've come very close: one in a town I moved away from, and one retired, but... still looking.

I have a strict policy in regards to seeing a regular and that is 69 visits or 7 years, whatever comes first. By then the warranty has expired and the shine is beginning to wear off.

LOL! Thanks for keeping it light! ?

In all honesty why would anyone want to establish themselves as a regular? I am not in the market of being in a relationship and it really is a relationship that you are establishing when you become a regular. Those who are seeking an attachment to someone in a pay as you go relationship are heading down a path that can blur the lines between fantasy and reality.
....
Commitment equals Attachment equals Love equals Commitment equals Messed Up Head

I understand this, but I don't think I agree. I think it's true I, at least, am looking for a "relationship", but I'm definitely not looking for a GF or SO. More on that later.

I saw a regular SP for about 12x and even took her out for a few social activities (movie, dinner). I found that as we became more comfortable, the sex became less intense and felt like her effort decreased. I was disappointed because I thought it would get better and more memorable. So this makes me question seeing any SP more than a handful of times. Just my own experience and not meant to generalize to anyone else. Respect different strokes for different folks!

Interesting observation - thanks for sharing. It's easy to believe this is where I'd end up, too, if I found such a regular, but... my fantasy lives on - I'd like to find out.

Prefer familiarity and comfort over thrill of the chase and novelty.

Give me someone who knows exactly what I want and delivers in spades!

I think I'm with you, westwoody.

For those of you saying “I don’t want a girlfriend why would I want a regular”: is there no appeal to NSA emotional connection?

I think emotional connection is a string in itself, so its not NSA. For me NSA means, no emotional connection. I can have an amazing physical connection with the other person but I do like to keep it without any emotions. Emotions are abstract and have no boundaries.

I think what Charlee is describing is definitely what I'm looking for. In fact, I think it describes it very accurately: "an NSA emotional connection". I'm not looking for a GF nor an SO. I'm looking for "an NSA emotional connection". Perhaps gugga and Pierre are right, and that is already a string, but if so then perhaps we're just into semantics, not the thoughts behind the words. The wording here can get tricky, but sometimes I think I'm looking for a cross between FWB and GFE. Yes, I'd be paying for friendship, I suppose, but I don't see that as negatively as some posters here. Why is that so much worse than paying for sex? In fact, I think I'd WANT to keep paying so that the line/boundary stayed clear. There might be a fine line between her offering me some benefits she doesn't offer others, and giving me "freebies". Yes, I want a FWB, but I want to pay for it so that we're both clear on what the relationship actually is.

Thank-you so much, @vincentvancouver (OP), for starting this thread!

 

[Shanghai]

...
There might be a fine line between her offering me some benefits she doesn't offer others, and giving me "freebies". Yes, I want a FWB, but I want to pay for it so that we're both clear on what the relationship actually is.

You pay for the SP to *go away* so that you retain your autonomy to do what you want with your free time, including whether or not to call up your "regular" again. So yes indeed, that keeps the transaction with no loose ends, a clear start and end point. No obligation to attend turkey dinners with family, having to meet the inlaws and other disagreeable folks, or your kids might not like the fact you are banging hoe's the same age as them. Boundaries are good, and worth paying for.

By implication, your purchase also buys your your privacy and no-strings obligation not to have to explain why you may have "missed" a few regular visits, say, because you found a better, cheaper, (etc) provider, or found a girlfriend, moved and so on.

As an aside, unplanned long gaps between visits are good tests of the strength of your connections with 'regulars'. So, if you don't see each other for a year or two then you reconnect, it resumes as normal, it feels "off" and that connection is lost, or you get married and have kids.

 

[badbadboy]

Seeing someone long term appeals to me having a bit of a bond if you will.

Currently I’m seeing two SP who I’ve known for 5 and 7 years. It’s still fresh and fun for me. Though straying to see someone new is always on my mind.

 

[blakealridge]

I mean, I feel like “strings” implies that you OWE something, long term. You’re inextricably tied together. You can have an emotional bond with someone and then leave that behind; and it’s easiest when it’s with a professional. That’s what we do. We give you a girlfriend experience (sex, emotional connection, all of it—whatever you want within our boundaries) and you pay us and then it stays professional.

So yes I think “NSA emotional connection” is possible. You can walk away with no strings to clean up or cut behind you.

 

[happycanuck99]

You pay for the SP to *go away* so that you retain your autonomy to do what you want with your free time, including whether or not to call up your "regular" again. So yes indeed, that keeps the transaction with no loose ends, a clear start and end point. No obligation to attend turkey dinners with family, having to meet the inlaws and other disagreeable folks, or your kids might not like the fact you are banging hoe's the same age as them. Boundaries are good, and worth paying for.

By implication, your purchase also buys your your privacy and no-strings obligation not to have to explain why you may have "missed" a few regular visits, say, because you found a better, cheaper, (etc) provider, or found a girlfriend, moved and so on.

As an aside, unplanned long gaps between visits are good tests of the strength of your connections with 'regulars'. So, if you don't see each other for a year or two then you reconnect, it resumes as normal, it feels "off" and that connection is lost, or you get married and have kids.

Though I appreciate the fact that you're ostensibly agreeing with me, I don't care for the wording you choose. I'm sorry for being pedantic on this, but I really don't want to "pay for the SP to go away". And quite honestly, since I try hard to keep the persona with which I meet SPs (i.e. my "real" name, my "real" email address, actual identifying information, etc.) very separate and distinct, I'd actually be quite happy with the SP contacting me between visits. I know many ladies feel that would be a violation of the client's privacy, and in most cases they might be right, but not in mine.

But still, you're very right: I have no interest in "meeting the family", etc. I don't necessarily mind hearing about them as the "relationship" grows, but the boundaries would continue to be very important!

 

[Bizzaynass]

I had to do a quick count of my visits with the same regular SP and we're at 16 times within the last 2 years. I think the reason I continue to see her and she continues to see me (even though she formally retired from this industry last December) is the fact that each visit is still fresh like we've first met and we continue to have fun. I'm not totally oblivious to the fact that this is still a monetary transaction so we don't get too emotionally invested. We know each other well enough to respect each other's space but have always found time to revisit for what usually are 2 or 3 hour sessions. Beyond that, if I find an SP I had an enjoyable time with, I definitely try and have repeated with some others at least once or two more times.

 

[gugga_madi]

I'm finding this to be a FASCINATING thread, quite possibly because it's something I've wrestled with myself! I can't even seem to keep up. Before I hit [Post Reply], more messages arrive! Anyway, this will be a long one - feel free to ignore it completely.






For me this is the stuff of dreams! So far I haven't managed to find one like this. I've come very close: one in a town I moved away from, and one retired, but... still looking.



LOL! Thanks for keeping it light! ?



I understand this, but I don't think I agree. I think it's true I, at least, am looking for a "relationship", but I'm definitely not looking for a GF or SO. More on that later.



Interesting observation - thanks for sharing. It's easy to believe this is where I'd end up, too, if I found such a regular, but... my fantasy lives on - I'd like to find out.



I think I'm with you, westwoody.





I think what Charlee is describing is definitely what I'm looking for. In fact, I think it describes it very accurately: "an NSA emotional connection". I'm not looking for a GF nor an SO. I'm looking for "an NSA emotional connection". Perhaps gugga and Pierre are right, and that is already a string, but if so then perhaps we're just into semantics, not the thoughts behind the words. The wording here can get tricky, but sometimes I think I'm looking for a cross between FWB and GFE. Yes, I'd be paying for friendship, I suppose, but I don't see that as negatively as some posters here. Why is that so much worse than paying for sex? In fact, I think I'd WANT to keep paying so that the line/boundary stayed clear. There might be a fine line between her offering me some benefits she doesn't offer others, and giving me "freebies". Yes, I want a FWB, but I want to pay for it so that we're both clear on what the relationship actually is.

Thank-you so much, @vincentvancouver (OP), for starting this thread!

I appreciate your approach to this topic, you are trying to understand both sides here, I call this a Kierkegaardian approach. I am not talking semantics here though, I have first hand experience on how NSA emotional or friendly connections work with SPs. They were always more exhausting for me as a client. I have lost respect towards some of the top providers in Vancouver in this regard. I have paid exuberant amounts of bills, rents and other expenses for some of my regulars and in return got diminishing performance during sessions and some other dramas.

And I am not talking about one single random shady SP here. I have gone through this same experience with different top notch providers and there is a pattern in this. Financially I am an okay guy and I wouldn't mind paying for someone's rent but when I know someone is trying to milk me out on deceptive grounds then it has to end right there.

If you need emotional support then I would advise you to go and look out for real life friends, try regular dating or if times are really rough then go talk to a therapist.

With SPs I look out for only one thing and that most definitely is not a friendly or an emotional connection.