A call from my clients' wife ...today ...my heart hurts

[JessicaPrabbit]

There has always been the unwritten rule that there is confidentiality with the SP. Being a single person, I have never had to worry about a s/o finding out. I am also the kind of person that wouldn't be going if I did have a s/o. The unwritten rule has always been that of confidentiality though. I would like to think should someone from my personal life ever make a call regarding me, that any SP I see would say, "sorry wrong number". Kinda like what happens in vegas STAYS in vegas.

In regards to this situation, sure the wife may have known what was up, but I believe it is the responsibility of the husband to speak with her. You totally robbed him of the ability to talk about it with his wife first. I truly feel sorry for your client. You treated his confidentiality quite callously. He should have been the one talking with his wife about it, not you!

Not sure if you've read all of my replies but I have spoken to him since she called me. He's alright with with my reaction and now will deal with things. He did not mention feeling that he should have been the one talking with his wife instead of me. He did not say my actions were callous, in fact he stated the opposite and thanked me for my ability to remain true to who I am.
Being single, Dark Knight, puts you into a category of observer for now (my opinion) although I do appreciate your input. it would be hard for anyone to comprehend the weight of the information she shared with me as I blinked myself out of a deep sleep to hear her tell me what she knew and what the personal and very private issue was that they were dealing with which is her primary reason for her having called.
Yes, if only he would have been the one talking with his wife about it instead of me ...if only this was a perfect world.

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

I've read most of the comments and in my opinion, it's highly doubtful that Jessica either confirming or denying what took place between this guy and her would have made a difference one way or another. When a wife in that situation calls, she may be looking for confirmation, but given the evidence the damage has basically been done. For starters, this guy may have had other phone numbers and pics as well as hers. Secondly, his wife might not care if he never actually engaged in sex with her, the fact the contacted her and made some kind of effort to, may be all that's required to be guilty in her mind. There could also be text messages on the phone which could be explicit.

All that said, I do think that Jessica confirming that the activity took place, probably didn't help the situation any. But I can appreciate that making a split second decision on what to say or do, without have given it any thought before hand isn't an easy position to be in. That said, perhaps she could have said,

"who I see or don't see is confidential, and at least 50% of the people who contact me never end up meeting me. Perhaps your husband falls into that category, but in any event this is something that has to be discussed between you and him as I can't reveal who I see."

A reply like that, along with perhaps an e-mail to what hopefully is a secured e-mail account, may have given this guy some kind of out, should have wanted one. As is stands now, for better or worse, he's completely busted. As mentioned, I've been in this guys shoes before and it's going to suck to be him for the next few weeks, or months.

Thank you FunSugarDaddy! I appreciate this constructive advice very much. An approach such as this might be useable if, Gawd forbid, this should happen again in the future. However ...I need remind everyone that there was extremely delicate information told to me within seconds of answering and knowing what I knew and assuming it to be true it is my heart felt belief that anyone in the same situation would have wanted her to know all that she could know.

 

[vanessa kelly]

Just a question....

I am curious how she knew for 100%... A person could not know for 100% unless they where present or had visual proof of the act ...a pic and some texts or whatever does not mean that she knew.... The act of confidentiality was broken....just a quick question what if on your website you where to have a disclosure that stated "If I receive a call from your significant other I will have to disclose that we spent intimate time together " how do you think that would work for you....I am not being mean or rude or attacking you ....its just another way to look at things....These gentlemen visit us because there are no headaches it is safe and most of all discrete...

VK

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

I am curious how she knew for 100%... A person could not know for 100% unless they where present or had visual proof of the act ...a pic and some texts or whatever does not mean that she knew.... The act of confidentiality was broken....just a quick question what if on your website you where to have a disclosure that stated "If I receive a call from your significant other I will have to disclose that we spent intimate time together " how do you think that would work for you....I am not being mean or rude or attacking you ....its just another way to look at things....These gentlemen visit us because there are no headaches it is safe and most of all discrete...

VK

Actually ...I think your idea is a good one and as of last night I had already begun to speak to a few of my married clients to find out how they would like me to handle this very thing. I've honestly got no qualms in placing a disclaimer on my site and if that would be too 'real' for some to remain my client, I assure you there will be others who may find it an attribute which they admire and will book to see me based on just that. As I've said, in the end the truth is always best.

Oh ...as for how do I know she knew? When certain information is given in a factual way there is no need to question the reality of the knowledge that is present. She knew. It's quite simple.

 

[HB40]

In the end the truth is always best. Period.

All who know me know I don't act and I don't lie.

Thank you Jessica, you have made it abundantly clear to me that you are not a suitable SP for me to see...


I'm glad you started this thread and let us all know just how careless and reckless you are with discretion.




Sorry fellow pooners, I was asked to edit my post....discretion and all that jazz.

 

[Pillowtalk]

Discretion was not assured here he had her phone number on his phone but not just that her picture! Sorry Jessica valued client he may have been but not smart on having the picture. "No time to think. Yes it happens It is a shock and yes I am sure many SP's may have this thought cross there minds what if they are caught. What is done is done. I have found this to be a learning experience. Shit happens we deal with in the best way we can. Now it is time to go on. I see Jesica is a good person honest and caring a big heart like me. As an SP I am sure there are a few things we may not of thought about before deciding on this profession as in any business.

It was on HIS phone; he had a certain expectation of privacy, even from an SO. At any rate, I really do not care how anyone tries to spin this mess, JPR had NO RIGHT to discuss his business with anyone other than him. All she had to do was excuse herself from the call, contact him and let him know or do nothing. How she even tries to justify it now by saying she feared for her safety, yet tries to tell us how sad and quiet the SO was in the call. Huh? Then we are to believe that she has no responsibility to him. And then, she goes on to tell us that it is the client's fault (and all married clients fault) and responsibility to what, tell their SO's that they are seeing sps??

i am pretty sure that just about everyone in this thread defending her, patting her on the head, and saying there there, would have a completely different attitude if it was their SO she was chatting with. If her moral compass is so finely tuned, then yes, this is totally the wrong profession for her. This is not a business where people judge others, decide what is best for their clients, and run around shouting out to everyone what he is up to.

JPR, when you are out with your friends and family, how often do you want anyone who has seen your ads/pictures online come up to you, shout out your name, and ask about your services in front of them?

Or do you expect them to stf up and go about their business, without judging you or confirming to these friends, family, and random strangers in the vicinity, that you get paid for sex.

 

[Pillowtalk]

I completely agree with 'athaire' and 'vanessa kelly'. Confidentiality and discretion are a huge part of the reason that the biz exists. It has been said on this thread quite elequantly, over and over. I am surprised that an SP doesn't realize this. It doesn't matter how it is spun, or justified, that phone conversation should have never been entered into. You can't use the 'no time to think' excuse, this should have been thought about when making the decision to be an SP.
Hopefully, everyone is wiser now.

Right on the mark.

 

[Pillowtalk]

It's funny how conveniently the term 'business' and 'hobby' are changed up to meet the need of the discussion. If It's a business then all involved (buyer beware) know there are risks to every business transaction especially when the business at hand is personal and intimate. If it's a hobby (to quote uncleg) do some of you think this is comparable to collecting model trains?

Trinity for the love of Gawd you must be aware of the fact that there is no one single answer to any life situation that will be 100% the right thing to do over and over.
There isn't one standardized reply that will sufficiently deal with the same situation on two different days let alone by two different people with different dynamics, not in this hobby, not in this business, not anywhere in life.

I truly do hope everyone is wiser now.

It is your business, the client's hobby. As long as you are getting paid, you need to treat this seriously, as a business, and part of that is that if you cannot offer discretion, and you cannot offer a safe place for your married clients to come, then you need to be upfront and tell everyone who wants to see you that you will out them to their SOs. Simple.

Of course there is a single answer: Hang up the phone. Do not talk about a client to anyone. That would be true during a session when one client wants to chat about a member here you have seen, or another sp wants to gossip about clients with you. I am almost certain you know how to say one thing but mean another.

 

[Pillowtalk]

holy crap

Well, just confirms the rumours, fwiw.

JPR, you need to get a bit of a reality check. You are in a business that requires discretion, and a business where clients are not your exclusive pets. It appears you threaten them to keep them at your side, and maybe that gives us some insight as to why so many people posted positive comments in a thread on a topic which had it been anyone else, would have had everyone up in arms against her.

 

[PhoneGirl]

From my first trainng shift as a PG, we went through the protocol of "what to do when a wife calls".

And outing a client to a wife was never an option...

o.0

 

[snif]

I agree with methodman and others....
YOU TOTALLY FUKKED UP AND BROKE THE RULES.....
seeing a sp is the same as a lawyer or doctor, its confidential.
Yes , he fukked up , but you got emotional and talked. WRONG !!!!
YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD HAVE HUNG UP IMMEDIATELY.
let him dig his hole and lie or admit.
YOU SHOULD QUIT THE BIZ.
JESSICA SHOULD BE BLACK LISTED FOR CROSSING THE LINE.
if she recorded it and gave it to her lawyer , whats next , you testify?

 

[Rod the bod]

Wow, so much emotion. This is really hitting a critical industry nerve - and it needs to be addressed. The thing is how any of us can be expected to react to one of the worst possible things that can happen in the industry. The thing is that very few people in the industry get proper training and they will make mistakes, especially under pressure. Sugar daddy's suggested answer is perfect and every SP should learn it and practice it so that they never get thrown by this unexpected event. I don't think you can fault jessica for her instinctive response because she didn't have plan to keep her instincts in check.

For what it's worth I don't think many clients want to lie and cheat. They are driven to this industry - it is far more than a hobby by that stage - for very deep reasons that have to do with the way some of us are made and the impossibility of squaring that with monogamy - as harmony says. Not wanting to lie is not the same as wanting to be caught but the effects can be just the same. My 2 cents.

 

[Pillowtalk]

Wow, so much emotion. This is really hitting a critical industry nerve - and it needs to be addressed. The thing is how any of us can be expected to react to one of the worst possible things that can happen in the industry. The thing is that very few people in the industry get proper training and they will make mistakes, especially under pressure. Sugar daddy's suggested answer is perfect and every SP should learn it and practice it so that they never get thrown by this unexpected event. I don't think you can fault jessica for her instinctive response because she didn't have plan to keep her instincts in check.

For what it's worth I don't think many clients want to lie and cheat. They are driven to this industry - it is far more than a hobby by that stage - for very deep reasons that have to do with the way some of us are made and the impossibility of squaring that with monogamy - as harmony says. Not wanting to lie is not the same as wanting to be caught but the effects can be just the same. My 2 cents.

She's a grown woman, not 18. Not new to life, and this biz. She had an obligation to her client. No excuses.

 

[HB40]

Jessica was given an out by this woman, she should have said thank you and goodbye. No excuses.

 

[sonoman]

Who's to say that such breakups are not the divine intention, or what has been predetermined to happen, for the greater good, in the end.

You really need to redefine your belief system. There's no such thing as karma, fate, or destiny; there's only chance and luck.

Btw, I think you meant 'divine intervention.'

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

Wow, so much emotion. This is really hitting a critical industry nerve - and it needs to be addressed. The thing is how any of us can be expected to react to one of the worst possible things that can happen in the industry. The thing is that very few people in the industry get proper training and they will make mistakes, especially under pressure. Sugar daddy's suggested answer is perfect and every SP should learn it and practice it so that they never get thrown by this unexpected event. I don't think you can fault jessica for her instinctive response because she didn't have plan to keep her instincts in check.

For what it's worth I don't think many clients want to lie and cheat. They are driven to this industry - it is far more than a hobby by that stage - for very deep reasons that have to do with the way some of us are made and the impossibility of squaring that with monogamy - as harmony says. Not wanting to lie is not the same as wanting to be caught but the effects can be just the same. My 2 cents.

Thank you Rod whether or not you agree with what I did I'm very happy you see that there is an issue here that requires attention.

I Reiterate; I too questioned my actions and am not defending what I did as Absolutely the correct thing to do ...but I do not think it was Absolutely the incorrect thing to do either. It was situational, inspired by emotion and no time to consider what to do. It was inspired by a personal knowledge of this particular client and how he has come to be known by me, that being very upfront and direct.

I really do not mind that some of you think this is the way I will always handle this situation because I've said all along that it may very well be a different response on a different day with a different person under different circumstances ...and that is life for all of us. Momentary in a sense of unique things that occur that cause us to react one way or another based on the 'now'.

It's quite alright if you think I fucked up. I fully expected that to be a majority of the reply but the important issue was to present the information because it happened and it could happen again. I'll be honest ...when I wrote it was for therapeutic reasons primarily, as my writing almost always is, but it became evident as I was writing that I wanted advice on what I could have done because it very well may happen again to me. When I wrote I was hoping for the beamingly obvious answer that would state I was clearly right or clearly wrong, I didn't really care which, I just wanted to know what to do in the future.

As it turns out there is no right and wrong, which I guess I already knew. There are a lot of people here all with opinions and that's what it's all about. No right. No wrong. No 'I know more than you do' ...It's a sharing of information which seems to have touched a nerve and I'm not sorry that the topic is being discussed.

As I've said, you do not need to admire me for anything I do let alone everything I do and if this topic is to 'real' for you to deal with as a client of mine when in fact it's a possibility that it could have been any one of your wives calling with found information ...then I guess I'll say thanks for the memories and I fully understand if I don't see you again. It is not my intention to drive away clients, if that is the end result of sharing something I wanted advice with ...so be it.

I still appreciate all of the comments ...good and bad I deserve whatever you have to serve.

 

[BrokeBastard]

YOU TOTALLY FUKKED UP AND BROKE THE RULES.....
seeing a sp is the same as a lawyer or doctor, its confidential.

I agree with you, she fukked up. But it's not the same as lawyers and doctors. They can lose their license to practice. The best we can do is boycott the OP's services if she can't keep our secrets.

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

I agree with you, she fukked up. But it's not the same as lawyers and doctors. They can lose their license to practice. The best we can do is boycott the OP's services if she can't keep our secrets.

BrokeBastard ...One Point. JessicaPRabbit ...zero.

Just a quick mention that if your SO is already suspicious and checking your phone it is likely you can't keep your secrets all on your own with no help needed from me.

 

[Pillowtalk]

BrokeBastard ...One Point. JessicaPRabbit ...zero.

Just a quick mention that if your SO is already suspicious and checking your phone it is likely you can't keep your secrets all on your own with no help needed from me.

And so what is your point. If the SO can figure out a secret, that is HIS secret, and it is his decision to tell or not tell, when HE is confronted by the SO. Are you really going to try to justify your actions because she can get ahold of his phone records? So what?

You are being deliberately obtuse, no doubt in a belated attempt for damage control. No right or wrong? Really? Yeah, there is a right or wrong in this, and you were wrong.

 

[BrokeBastard]

BrokeBastard ...One Point. JessicaPRabbit ...zero.

Just a quick mention that if your SO is already suspicious and checking your phone it is likely you can't keep your secrets all on your own with no help needed from me.

Just to let you know, I'm not disgusted or angry you didn't lie to protect your client. As pooners, we all make choices to cheat on our partners. We would like to think all the SPs would protect our secrets and sessions, but they cannot be trusted just like any women a man chooses to cheat with.

If you cheat, you have to live with the consequences of being found out.