Would you marry a working girl?

[ur6im9]

The question that I would like to ask, in conjunction with this one, is how many SPs are hoping to find a man to marry as a result of their involvment in the biz? How many SPs want to be the real life version of Julia Robert's character in "Pretty Woman" and are hoping that the next first-time customer they make an appointment with is their Richard Gere.

I am not asking this to be critical of the notion. I think, for the most part, this is simply wishful thinking, but the idea is not without presidence. I seem to remember a couple of threads from earlier this year with a discussion of marriages between SPs and clients that are known about in the Vancouver community. If I remember correctly, most of them have ended badly.

However, the Pretty Woman Myth must exist for some SPs.

Good point. You have some very lonely clients who are paying women to spend time with them (hoping to find their "prize" wife) and then you have some SPs who probably hope that they can be swept off their feet with that one Richard Gere equivalent. I am not being critical either, the notion is great for a movie or a book but I cannot see a relationship working out having met through the biz.

I do remember reading the threads that you mentioned, from what I can remember, there are just too many issues and baggage on both sides. As a client, I would have to decide why she is interested, finances ($) and a secure life to mind. As a sp, they would have to decide if they want to commit to a guy that may lack some self confidence. Long and short of it, it's a definate myth and wishful thinking, there are too many issues for things to work out in the end.

I say to forget the fairy tale and just be in the biz just for fun.

 

[Sunset]

George, to Answer Your Question

The key to love is giving our all to another person. If I were to have a real relationship with any woman, it would be 100% monogamous. I know from personal experience that monogamy is the only way for love to grow and for a man-woman relationship to be successful.

There are girls, SP or not, that are loving, honest and will make a wonderful wife. The caveat for the SP is that she is a former SP and not an actively working one.

We shouldn't look for love in this biz or even in a church. Real love comes to us seemingly from nowhere.

The probability of your relationship being successful with this girl is extremely remote, not because she's an SP but because of the inability of both parties to give 100% to each other. Since it is impossible for an active SP to give 100% to a relationship, it is more probable than not it will be a failed relationship.

As Hitrack stated, let it go.




PS - For you film experts, in the script of Pretty Woman, neither party had any expectations of finding love in a prostitution relationship, it just happened. She did not fuck anyone else after meeting him, for free or pay.

 

[ur6im9]

The key to love is giving our all to another person. If I were to have a real relationship with any woman, it would be 100% monogamous. I know from personal experience that monogamy is the only way for love to grow and for a man-woman relationship to be successful.

There are girls, SP or not, that are loving, honest and will make a wonderful wife. The caveat for the SP is that she is a former SP and not an actively working one.

We shouldn't look for love in this biz or even in a church. Real love comes to us seemingly from nowhere.

The probability of your relationship being successful with this girl is extremely remote, not because she's an SP but because of the inability of both parties to give 100% to each other. Since it is impossible for an active SP to give 100% to a relationship, it is more probable than not it will be a failed relationship.

As Hitrack stated, let it go.




PS - For you film experts, in the script of Pretty Woman, neither party had any expectations of finding love in a prostitution relationship, it just happened. She did not fuck anyone else after meeting him, for free or pay.

Not only the SP but the client as well, being a fellow perbite like myself, you still want to experiment other girls, the temptation is there, the same girl does get boring after a while, when you know it's as easy as this, more often than not, whether out of town for business or a holiday, the urge is always there. As honest and faithful as we make it out to be at beginning, we always resort to the easy way to get a little action. 100% on both sides is tough.

P.S. So true about Pretty Woman, they did not have any expectations nor did they fuck anyone else. That is the difference between having a fairy tale relationship like the movie compared to REAL LIFE. The lonely guy with lower self confidence meets the sp who is looking for the knight in shining armor. One or both will not be committed 100% and fucking of other people will happen. I don't think the stats are that good, in an ideal world like the movie, that's the way it would happen. For the non movie experts that forgot about the fine details, like myself, will only remember the ending, the pathetically lonely rich client who meets the beautiful sp, and they live happy every after. Is the grief of a bad relationship worth it, I don't think so. Just have fun without the grief.

 

[Maury Beniowski]

However, the Pretty Woman Myth must exist for some SPs.

And so does Luke Skywalker or Han Solo for some...

 

[rollerboy]

I think the real question is, would an SP marry YOU? (You in the generic, meaning me, you, any other pooner; not "You" as in georgebushmoron).

Man, you are a cynic! A ho is just like any other woman.

It's very simple to tell if a woman wants to marry you. Is she over 30? Single mother? How's your job, house, car, and health plan?

Of course, you could buy a lot of tail for the price of a house or a nice ride.

 

[Cosmo]

Would you marry an SP?

Fawk NO!

 

[travel guy]

It would be interesting to browse through this site not knowing what a SP is. From some of the posts, you'd think it stood for some sort of foreign species - when you put it out of your mind that "SPs" are women, some of these threads can actually sound sort of like Jane Goodall examining,discussing and coming up with opinions & theories regarding the behavior of chimps.

But Viewing a SP as I would any other woman...
I'd definately NOT consider marrying a woman who was currently sleeping with other men. Due to typical preconcieved notions, I'd also NOT marry a woman who was a retired "high volume" provider. I wouldn't want to know that my wife has slept with pretty much anyone with a couple/few hundred bucks to spare any more than I'd want to know that she slept with them for free and her nickname was "the town pump". I WOULD marry a woman who has worked as a discreet "low volume" provider IN THE PAST.

Marrying a woman who has had a fairly typical amount of lovers in her PAST(ok - on the higher side of typical) would be no big deal to me - whether she capitalized on it finacially or otherwise.

 

[necko]

marry a sp

not a chance well she was still working,but could if she quit, I'm not pure why would I expect her to be, We all do what ever we need to to get through the night.

 

[Sunset]

Not only the SP but the client as well, being a fellow perbite like myself, you still want to experiment other girls, the temptation is there, the same girl does get boring after a while, when you know it's as easy as this, more often than not, whether out of town for business or a holiday, the urge is always there. As honest and faithful as we make it out to be at beginning, we always resort to the easy way to get a little action. 100% on both sides is tough.

It's not tough at all. Honestly, based on my personal experience, it's easy for both to give 100% and have a monogamous relationship, if you have mutual love and faith. Believe me, when in a spiritual relationship, we don't want anyone else. What's the ole saying "love conquers all."

I've only had one truly loving relationship and it was 100% monogamous, maybe one day I'll be blessed with another. I'm not prejudice about a person's past, so it could be with a former SP, regardless to the volume of men she's experienced as clients. Love is blind, if she was the one for me and our feelings were mutual, I'd not hold her past as an SP against her nor would it ever be a concern to me.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

This is a fascinating thread.
Human nature is infinitely diverse, and we shouldn't think that our personal take on any situation is the only valid possibility.

I have a distant relative near Portland who is an independent FBSM masseuse. A decade ago, she fell head over heels for one of her clients, and after a few weeks courtship, they decided to move in together and enter into a monogamous relationship. She remained in the business, but tightened up her boundaries.

After a few years, his business went into the toilet, he lost his house, and now he makes almost no money, and she supports them both. Their relationship is now 10 years old, and remains strong. They are not formally married, but they may as well be. Both have been completely faithful to one another, and are strongly supportive of each other emotionally.

Not only is there an exception to every rule, but there are many.

Granted, this situation is different than someone continuing to provide FS, but it does show that a provider can "marry" a client and still continue to provide erotic services without endangering the relationship. By her own reckoning, she has given her clients 10,000 HJ's since pairing up with her SO.

Let's keep examples like this in mind whenever we project our own emotions as universal psychological truths.

 

[Lurker 123]

This topic is getting bored. How about we change it to" Would a working girl marry her client?" instead!

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

This topic is getting bored.

Huh????????????

 

[Sunset]

This is a fascinating thread.
Human nature is infinitely diverse, and we shouldn't think that our personal take on any situation is the only valid possibility.

After a few years, his business went into the toilet, he lost his house, and now he makes almost no money (less than $1000 a year), and she supports them both. Their relationship is now 10 years old, and remains strong. They are not formally married, but they may as well be. Both have been completely faithful to one another, and are strongly supportive of each other emotionally.

Not only is there an exception to every rule, but there are many.

Let's keep examples like this in mind whenever we project our own emotions as universal psychological truths.

In case anyone thinks me hopelessly lost in my own wonderland, I recognized also that there are different ways of having a relationship. For those who chose to have relationships mainly from this perspective without faith, love and mutual giving, the relationship may well seem like an overlong ordeal. Why would we work so hard to prolong an existence of pain and fear and disappointment?

Certainly no one lives free of these things, but they represent only one side. There is also another side, a lighter side, of joy, hope, trust, laughter, beauty, wonder and love. Perhaps the good relationship is learning to balance the two, remembering to let go of the darkness as soon as we have learned from it, while we continue to embrace the light.

Herb, I’m all for seeing the different facets of having a relationships, but I wonder if it might not be more important to first find ways of togetherness with more quality and dignity before we become obsessed with having a lengthy relationship under any circumstance.

 

[ashley]

Yes I would marry a client. If you are lucky enough to find love then why let how or where you met each other stand in the way.
However I would quit my J.O.B I would only want to give my whole self to the man I love and who loves me back(body soul, and mind )

 

[hugedman]

Yes I would marry a client. If you are lucky enough to find love then why let how or where you met each other stand in the way.
However I would quit my J.O.B I would only want to give my whole self to the man I love and who loves me back(body soul, and mind )

I agree with Ashley, IMHO, if you love someone very much, why care too much what he/she did (as long as she does not do that anymore), you love the present him/her, not the SP one. As long as you are his/her last man/woman eventhough you were not his/her first..

 

[rollerboy]

Life is short, and there are worse things than falling in love.

Both should go in reconciled to the psychological and emotional impact of her former career. Thinking too hard about the facts (like how many strange swords your ladies swallowed) could make a guy run screaming into the night.

Dante: 37, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks. Randal: In a row?

Examine your own motivations candidly, and ask if the relationship is firmly grounded in reality, and not unhealthy illusions, need, or white knight/damsel in distress syndrome. It doesn't have to be a deal breaker, everybody's a little crazy.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

Herb, I’m all for seeing the different facets of having a relationships, but I wonder if it might not be more important to first find ways of togetherness with more quality and dignity before we become obsessed with having a lengthy relationship under any circumstance.

More quality and dignity than what?
This sounds awfully judgmental, as does "under any circumstance". The relationship I described is probably stronger and more stable that the typical marriage -- what proportion of North American marriages last more than 10 years and involve absolute fidelity?
BTW, these are substantial people -- both have multiple university degrees.

 

[Lurker 123]

I agree with Ashley, IMHO, if you love someone very much, why care too much what he/she did (as long as she does not do that anymore), you love the present him/her, not the SP one. As long as you are his/her last man/woman eventhough you were not his/her first..

I agree too. Afterall love is mutual understanding. Unless someone married for special reason,i.e. money, sex, prestige and etc!!!

It is nice to hear Ashley,a sp point of view!

 

[Cosmo]

She got pissed off because I went and pooned a couple of times, so I told her that until she stopped fvcking other men, I would not stop fvcking other women. This created lots of friction to say the least.

She liked to party lots, and although I do enjoy partying, her partying is not the same as mine.

In the end, I discovered that dating an SP resulted in some of the best sex of my life; however her job did distract us from our relationship.

I don’t think I would marry an SP after retirement. I mean I know I’ve had sex with 30 or 35 diff girls, but that does not compare to the hundreds or thousands she has been with. I know it’s shallow but that’s the way I feel.

No shit, eh?

Amazingly many of these women deceive themselves by repeating the mantra that it can be turned off after I leave the biz... that the past won't impact a future life with a mate.

Don't get me wrong... I'm all in favour of those ladies who pursue this line of work (go Veronica go).

But many of the things the ladies tell themselves... well... they are second cousin to the similar lies we guys tell ourselves. In both cases, for men and for women, there is an amazing capacity for self-delusion.

N'est pas?

 

[CARGO1]

Yes I would marry a client. If you are lucky enough to find love then why let how or where you met each other stand in the way.
However I would quit my J.O.B I would only want to give my whole self to the man I love and who loves me back (body soul, and mind)

Ashley, if you married a client do you think that you could fully trust and believe that he would remain faithful?

I am only asking because the thread is directed at how a male would interact with this scenario. As an Sp retired or not, being married to a hobbyist (assumed retired) would in my opinion be harder on the Sp then the reverse. This is just my opinion but it is based on what I have read on this site. How many times have you read from a poster how addictive this hobby can be.

I believe for myself that I could get married to a service provider. I would not make the yellow pages my focus point for finding a wife. But I would never shy away from marriage because of someone’s profession. People change professions daily, it’s not the profession that will define the person.

Just my 0.02

Cargo