It’s like talking to a brick wall in here sometimes lol
Who sees SPs to preserve their marriage?
- Thread starter Big Dick Bob
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Cheating is cheating, whether it's seeing an escort or hanging out on tinder. Any relationship that I've ever been in,there had to be communication, about everything not just sex. Chores,finances, sex,there's expectations and then there's reality, communicate, don't ignore the elephant in the room. If you had a healthy sex life and then it suddenly changes,you need to communicate about it.
I've always said,I'd much rather be alone than in a loveless relationship, and yes that includes sex.
I've always said,I'd much rather be alone than in a loveless relationship, and yes that includes sex.
thats pretty wishful thinking. obviously its quite distigmatized for the people who participate in sex work.
but theres plenty of reasons its stigmatized besides religion and old school thinking. for example:
-ALOT of woman dont like sex work because it takes away alot of power and leverage woman have with their sexuality and relationship dynamics. you even see divisions within the different forms of sex work, for example alot of sugar babies and OF girls look down on escorts for example.
-lots of men stigmatize it because they dont want to date or marry woman who are sex workers, even men who hire sex workers often feel this way.
also if too many woman start participating in sex work, the rates and prices are gonna go way down. and some woman wont be able to make any money off of it anymore. theres tons of escorts who wouldnt be able to compete if more woman, particularly the more conventionally attractive and younger woman started entering sex work. you already see this in the sugar baby world, theres quite a few woman who cant find a sugar daddy, or atleast not one who is a high roller.
Fully agree with that! I am not even sure that exists even in places like the Netherlands. The fundamentalists will stigmatize it wherever they are and in whatever cult they follow.
Your wife or significant other will forgive you for Covid or the flu. Condoms are not bullet proof and come with risks. Give her herpes or syphillis and they are having a very different conversation about the professional they met up with. The stigmas are associated with real health risks.
This is what I’m saying though. Most STIs are as easy or easier to get rid of and harder to catch than many airborne illnesses like the flu, strep, tonsillitis, or covid. Statistically either you or your partner already have herpes; over 50% of people do, most being asymptomatic. Syphilis is also super easy to get rid of. It’s all part of the stigma; the health risks aren’t as terrifying as all that! That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful, but we should be just as careful in other places too.
I do. I have a great partner and 95% of our relationship is awesome. We are a team in life, and love each other very much. Sometimes life gets in the way of our sex life. Between work, and everything else going on, you can’t always be on the same page. It feels like a lot of black and white thinking going on here, and life is rarely like this. It is very nuanced. My partner works very hard, and is a busy productive person, so is sometimes too tired to be there for me in a sexual way. I’m not going to leave her because 5% of our relationship isn’t working. If you’re looking for a 100% thing, it’s never going to happen and you will end up being miserable. I go once in awhile to take care of my personal needs that can’t be met. If it makes me a better partner to her, and happier, then what’s the issue? I go see an SP a couple times a month, but it never gets in the way of relationship obligations or time with my family. Why shouldn’t I be able to go see a professional and have a need taken care of? I don’t expect my wife to fix a cavity, or work on my truck. Why would these things just be an expectation? If it’s not taking up time together, and I’m safe, then what does it issue? If it makes me a happier, healthier, more accommodating partner, then it seems like it’s doing far more good than not. Get off your high horse.
An interesting question is:
If you found out that your partner was getting a little trim on the side, at the same time that you were getting a little trim on the side, what would you do?
a) break it off, even though you too are a douche bag?
b) admit your sins and ask for fotegiveness?
c) discuss it at the risk of either total breakup or incredible make-up sex?
d) go see Dr. Phill and make it a public pube show?
e) play hurt and negotiate for open marriage?
f) meh, keep calm and carry on?
If you found out that your partner was getting a little trim on the side, at the same time that you were getting a little trim on the side, what would you do?
a) break it off, even though you too are a douche bag?
b) admit your sins and ask for fotegiveness?
c) discuss it at the risk of either total breakup or incredible make-up sex?
d) go see Dr. Phill and make it a public pube show?
e) play hurt and negotiate for open marriage?
f) meh, keep calm and carry on?
Thank you! Just a note it’s not a hobby or a lifestyle, it’s actually a jobI just wanted to tell you: Escorts like you are Goddesses who bring joys to lives. I have had some of the best conversations with escorts apart from the incredible intimacy.It's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle.
P.s. I agree with you.
Quite the thread going here. From the stigmatization of sex work, to lying in a relationship to marital issues and to being judgmental. On that last point, we all judge, its part of critical thinking to whatever degree we take that.
I know I for one have destigmatized myself enough that making appointments with SW's is something I do and I am good with it. But. Do I tell people about it? And would I share that with some woman I have gotten into a relationship with?
I keep that really close to the chest. Just as I keep any discussion of me meeting civilians and banging them. That is my business and unless there is a real specific reason to bring up what I do in my sex life that stays with me.
Not necessarily because of any stigma, just its my business.
I have been through what the OP noted in his first post and its a tough road when the sex stops. IMO sex is a fundamental glue that holds a relationship together. When it's gone, the physical side of a relationship is gone and that is critical.
And lying, well, as noted here, we all lie to one degree or another and if lying can keep something together no matter the consequences, then so be it and deal with the fallout when it happens.
OK off the soap box,
Cheers, and Happy Pooning.
I know I for one have destigmatized myself enough that making appointments with SW's is something I do and I am good with it. But. Do I tell people about it? And would I share that with some woman I have gotten into a relationship with?
I keep that really close to the chest. Just as I keep any discussion of me meeting civilians and banging them. That is my business and unless there is a real specific reason to bring up what I do in my sex life that stays with me.
Not necessarily because of any stigma, just its my business.
I have been through what the OP noted in his first post and its a tough road when the sex stops. IMO sex is a fundamental glue that holds a relationship together. When it's gone, the physical side of a relationship is gone and that is critical.
And lying, well, as noted here, we all lie to one degree or another and if lying can keep something together no matter the consequences, then so be it and deal with the fallout when it happens.
OK off the soap box,
Cheers, and Happy Pooning.
Expound more on this "air borne Syphilis" you speak of.
I'm not singling out anyone but everyone at the same time. We are part of a community that function on the fringe because we all know how a portion of society disapprove and small portion despise this industry and the people part of it or supporting it .
So if you are part of this community and call people in relationships liars for supporting it, being part of it in some ways.... Does it mean that they are up front about being part of this community ? Share with their activities and views about it with loved ones and relatives ? What's the gradient or scale of openness with the rest of the world?
What would be the state of the industry without people in relationships? More SPs to choose from or less because of the lack of demand ?
Airborne illness she was talking about...
And she mentioned that syphilis and other STDs were harder to catch than than many airborne illnesses but easier to get rid of .
I inverted the order of Charlee's points but it states the same thing.
She never mentioned that syphilis was an airborne illness
It’s true! That’s how I got it.
I was naked, getting changed in a crowded locker room at the gym, when another dude sneezed on me.
I am so glad my wife believed me.
Losing your mind is often a symptom that you might have syphilis (just kidding).
Oh we still tell them, we just don’t laugh at the ones that aren’t funny anymore
Thats NOT why so many married men prefer transactional relationships w providers over affairs.
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