Very Veronica said:
So i recently got put on ice by my fb while he makes yet another attempt at the rockwellian dream. Says i blow his mind mentally & sexually but that i'm not the girl (or cougar) that he envisioned spending his life with. He's 32, i'm 42. Whutteva. He'll be back. Meanwhile, i get a review stating what a great gal i am but way too much in bed. WTF? What do you lame ass fags want?
Hi, something tells me your post was mainly rhetorical and reactionary but I was still inspired by it.
Firstly, I've never met you, nor does my mind have any image of you which is based at all on the actual you beyond (literate, and a working girl).
What I think I want, that would/could relate to someone such as yourself, is to gain a sense that the mentioned details don't matter so much to you. Who you are in bed, acrobatically, is such a non-issue, but who you are in bed extends so far beyond the sheets and the covers when relating to a boyfriend.
Somebody who can be whatever extension of herself she prefers, while in bed, is just great. But that means absolutely nothing (er, on nights when I'm not paying for it, I mean) if said person isn't entirely comfortable with every iota of herself during all walks of the rest of our shared life.
Something hints to me that the dynamics of your being a working girl did not mesh tolerably with the relationship. Sure maybe he knew where you worked when you met, making it less shocking to him, and rendering him less capable of complaining fairly about your job. That doesn't mean that your work didn't impact the idea of you-and-him-together like a third wheel of some sort.
The one cited review relating to your being too much in bed just doesn't matter on the grand scale and I'm guessing that it is only the timing of said review which has you canvassing the PERB neighborhood for answers.
Veronica, I only want to urge you to be yourself and no more, or no less, and to avoid like the plague any temptation to alter or change yourself in response to perceptions you might allow yourself to have about you.
In the near future, keep playing the part of Veronica (the real-life human, not the working-girl character, unless on the clock) while striving to master the role you know best. It is a sure thing that at some point you'll go around a corner and really wow! someone as you are, and then you won't have to feel as if playing someone else's role when it happens.
While waiting for that to happen, I hope you won't waste too many hours thinking of things you should change or alter to speed it along.
Geez, how long-winded of me...
Good luck.