VV,
Sorry about your misfortune. It must not feel too good. My condolences.
Anita's Massage said:
They might be absolutely smitten by a woman like you, but the truth is, having a woman like you is like eating chocolate cake. It is wonderful, but having it all the time is not that good....
If you look at what men do is: They get married to an average/coy/decent girl so they can be in control, and occasionally, when they feel like having a chocolate cake, they see women like you! ...
In summary, Anita's opinion above is: "you're too incredibly fantastic for him so he got scared and ran away to a boring average girl". Give a man the opportunity to date (for the long term) a beautiful woman who's great in bed, and he'll choose an average pimply faced somewhat chubby girl instead? Sure. That's like saying you'd give up a billion dollars in a lottery win with all the headaches for the chance to work at a steady 9-5 job that pays $11.25/hr.
Anita's opinion is the usual seductive reasoning that the perpetually dumped make, unconsciously it bolsters their egos, but it is far from the truth. One thing about human beings, especially ones who are on either end of the victimization role (both victimizers and victims), is that they are very good at believing their own lies. It's not a good coping strategy in the long term to be commiserating with victims anyways. You seem like a person who would tend to recoil yourself from a bad situation, so staying in the ditch of the discarded is unlikely. If your gut reaction is to move on, then do so quickly cuz you're probably bang on.
Anita's Massage said:
Your bf/fb (did you mean boyfriend or fuck buddy? LOL) was worried he won't be able to keep up with you, and that scared the hell out of him.
This is usually the way women think of men. That is, if they think they can not keep up with a man's expectations, they will be scared and run. Not so for men. A woman who is hard to keep up with is a challenge, and men tend to be attracted to that rather than be scared of it.
Your question about what guys want? Most men want these things in a GF:
#1. Loyal, but not boring
#2. Good looks that will last a long time
#3. Capable in bed, but not monstruous
#4. Sexy, but not a whore
#5. Average intelligence
#6. A nice person
Though you are likely not a boring person, I'd say your job might be a problem for any average normal BF (questions of loyalty are deep seated, #1). Your age might be a problem too, especially if he's that much younger (most men recognise that women age faster at a certain age than they do, which could cause anxiety with respect to #2). You might be a little much for him in bed, but then a sexually voracious woman can be too much for most men - as it is much harder to satisfy a woman than it is a man (#3).... after the novelty wears off the effort required to satisfy unfortunately still remains. You might be sexy, but then your job has various negative labels attached to it (#4). You are definitely at least above average intelligence, so this is probably not an issue (#5). How nice you are, we'll never really know - you could be a saint or a devil or both (#6).
