OK, so we got all the western usual suspects out of the way. Now, the top ten reasons why she was really beheaded:
1) Listening to Abba tunes on her iphone 4GS (punishable in any civilized society)
2) She was thought to be performing witchcraft because she was bust'in some crazy new bieb moves (we usually just beat these folks up, but beheading is really a more effective solution)
3) She turned down some important dude for a date, so there must be something evil about her (same thinking applies here in Delta)
4) When asked if her occupation was professional or technical, she inquired "which?". (We all make bad word selections sometimes)
5) After being raped repeatedly by a gang of street thugs, she had the audacity to state that she wished their penises would fall off (such criminal intentions cannot go un-punished, lest they come true)
6) Apparently she survived the drowning, therefore she must be a witch (eastern logic is a bitch)
7) Bad shoes ('nuff said)
8) Who needs that head thingy anyway? (brains are sooo over-rated)
9) No, No, you ninnies, they didn't cut her head off, they just stuck her head in a sack full of honey bees. Get it? "Bee-Headed". Ha Ha. They thought that would sweeten her up. (died anyway)
10) She was ugly (or looked like she might be related to Uncleg)!!!