DATY etc

[ExpCharlee]

So, I've been having this issue with DATY/vulva stuff in sessions. I like an EXTREMELY light touch: soft licks with tongue makes me come super fast. Maybe like 70% of clients who go down on me are rough, push extremely hard on my clit, SUCK on my clit super hard, use their teeth sometimes, push their thumb on my clit in cowgirl, use their fingers aggressively on my clit, etc. I tend to say something like "can you go a bit lighter please?" or "careful, there's lots of nerve endings down there!" Maybe they'll get lighter for a bit, but not for long, or not enough. Another one clients do is continuing to lick my clit directly after I come even if I pull away, I had a client literally clamp on my legs with his arms and keep going as I jerked away so hard that I lifted him off his back, and I had to YELL "stop stop stop" multiple times before he finally got the hint (a huge turn off, obviously)...it gets very sensitive right after I come and I need a break!

Anyways, I've had experiences in the past where I've asked multiple times for guys to adjust/go lighter/try to teach them what I like and they've become exasperated or stopped doing it at all (this is not the goal, I LOVE being eaten). Any tips for how to communicate what I like in the moment without ruining the moment? HELP ME, OH MEN OF PERB

 

[steverino]

Maybe you could demonstrate on their dick how you like to be licked.

 

[ExpCharlee]

Maybe you could demonstrate on their dick how you like to be licked.

That's a great idea.

 

[wintersurfer]

Tell them to think of it as a chocolate covered in a candy shell.
The goal is to lick the shell off before getting to the chocolate:
Too fast👎👎
Too long in one spot👎👎

 

[islander1-1]

My 2nd wife taught me a long time ago, how to do this. I have had many a SP tell me I am really good at it. BUT, I just wish SP's would just speak up and tell me what they like and verbally tell me what they like and give me progress reports. It can be in a constant stream of encouragement. I can read the pussy reasonably well but verbal clues and encouragement is better for me. Yes I may be paying for the encounter but the encounter should me for mutual enjoyment. Caveat YMMV

I do not fear the bearded clam!

 

[ExpCharlee]

Tell them to think of it as a chocolate covered in a candy shell.
The goal is to lick the shell off before getting to the chocolate:
Too fast👎👎
Too long in one spot👎👎

yeah they just wanna bite the whole shell off LOL

 

[steverino]

After they book, send them a link to a "best practices" in pussy licking video. Men are visual!

 

[undecided]

Do 69. If they're too rough, do the same on the penis tip ;-)

 

[ExpCharlee]

After they book, send them a link to a "best practices" in pussy licking video. Men are visual!

That just leads to sexting which I don’t have time or energy for lol

 

[justwannahavefun]

So, I've been having this issue with DATY/vulva stuff in sessions. I like an EXTREMELY light touch: soft licks with tongue makes me come super fast. Maybe like 70% of clients who go down on me are rough, push extremely hard on my clit, SUCK on my clit super hard, use their teeth sometimes, push their thumb on my clit in cowgirl, use their fingers aggressively on my clit, etc. I tend to say something like "can you go a bit lighter please?" or "careful, there's lots of nerve endings down there!" Maybe they'll get lighter for a bit, but not for long, or not enough. Another one clients do is continuing to lick my clit directly after I come even if I pull away, I had a client literally clamp on my legs with his arms and keep going as I jerked away so hard that I lifted him off his back, and I had to YELL "stop stop stop" multiple times before he finally got the hint (a huge turn off, obviously)...it gets very sensitive right after I come and I need a break!

Anyways, I've had experiences in the past where I've asked multiple times for guys to adjust/go lighter/try to teach them what I like and they've become exasperated or stopped doing it at all (this is not the goal, I LOVE being eaten). Any tips for how to communicate what I like in the moment without ruining the moment? HELP ME, OH MEN OF PERB

I am super happy to see this post. I have been told by some ladies that I am quite good at it (not including the ones who I thought said it just to be nice) and then get the feeling from others that I suck at it. I wish more ladies would give direction when they are not enjoying it. I get that it needs to be communicated tactfully because a lot of guys are babies and cannot handle when someone says they are not perfect.
I, for one, am extremely happy when I know I did something that made a lady feel really good and any advice I can get achieveing that is very welcome.

 

[macdaddypa]

Perhpas during the make out session do some LFK and tell him not to move his lips....then lick his lips gently the way you like to be licked....then whisper in a sexy voice "I like my pussy licked like that baby"....alternatively uou can lick his nipples and do the same thing. Say "lick me like this baby".

I personally had good DATY mentors: Johnny Sins, Manuel Ferrar, James Deen to name a few. 😄

 

[WandErection]

Although one could argue it is porn that we should blame for this, I believe the main factor is that an entire penis has roughly half of the nerve terminations that are just on the clit. So, men instinctively want to suck it more akin to a blowjob. Penises can take a fair amount of "rough" stimulation and still feel good. I was fortunate enough to get a lot of feedback from my first girlfriend many years ago. I remember being almost annoyed at how light she wanted it. The slightest amount of force would cause her discomfort and she'd let me know. Sometimes it was a turnoff, but overall it was a huge blessing. I got used to caressing a vagina like it's a thin sheet of ice that I want to slowly melt with my tongue. It wasn't an overnight process. It took some time to override my instincts.

So, Charlee, I'm not sure what the solution is. It's a tough one. Men go around chewing clits like they're steak, and many ladies don't say anything either. Reminding them during DATY can be a turnoff, but I think you have no choice.

 

[DrunkWhenSober]

I'm lucky my ATF taught me how to DATY. Forever grateful for her. Now when I meet a new lady I always ask them to let me know if they are actually enjoying it.

 

[RalphiEboy]

I'm lucky my ATF taught me how to DATY. Forever grateful for her. Now when I meet a new lady I always ask them to let me know if they are actually enjoying it.

Some ladys [sic] like 👍🏻 it really hard/rough. Especially those who stroke a lot or use machinery to get off. The key 🔑 imho is communication. No law has ever been written, to my knowledge, that prohibits checking in during the actionee…

😇

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Although one could argue it is porn that we should blame for this, I believe the main factor is that an entire penis has roughly half of the nerve terminations that are just on the clit. So, men instinctively want to suck it more akin to a blowjob. Penises can take a fair amount of "rough" stimulation and still feel good. I was fortunate enough to get a lot of feedback from my first girlfriend many years ago. I remember being almost annoyed at how light she wanted it. The slightest amount of force would cause her discomfort and she'd let me know. Sometimes it was a turnoff, but overall it was a huge blessing. I got used to caressing a vagina like it's a thin sheet of ice that I want to slowly melt with my tongue. It wasn't an overnight process. It took some time to override my instincts.

So, Charlee, I'm not sure what the solution is. It's a tough one. Men go around chewing clits like they're steak, and many ladies don't say anything either. Reminding them during DATY can be a turnoff, but I think you have no choice.

Ah, a perbite writing a process I fully subscribe to! And a great topic Ms Beckett.

I view improper DATY in the same light as some woman sucking on my balls. Those babies don't need that - light touches and light licking - fuck yeah. But some gals try to put the same suction on the twins as they do on big Jim and for me, that just does not cut it and it can cause so much discomfort I might as well pack up and go home.

I have always viewed sex as very much a team sport, individuals, their wants, their sensitivities etc all come into play. But since it is a team sport that we are all partaking, feedback is important. If this is a new appointment, neither party knows what the other does, wants, idiosyncrasies, you name it, so the learning curve is steep, if it is to be a mutual and good gig. This is where sensitivity to feedback on both sides becomes important.

Personally, I view oral sex as one of the most intimate acts I can provide for my partner. I make sure my touch, whether my fingers or my tongue is feather light and the clit gets direction attention ONLY after it starts to swell. Indirect brushes and touches but not direct. Now nipples, well, being a tit man, I spend a lot of time there too, but I digress. I don't go for the gusto until I am getting feedback - if you want to call it permission - to do so. I want the process to be slow and I put what I consider as a loving touch into what I am doing. Works for me and over my decades of pooning I have a lot of feedback. As an aside there is a moment during orgasm where the woman might be 'gyrating' which is fucking awesome, but that is a challenge to keep mouth on clit in an appropriate way but, well one just needs to go with the flow, so to speak.

in my opinion I believe the key is communication, which then tells the guy to look for the feedback, to not consider this as part of gorilla sex, but something that needs a measured touch. Maybe that needs to be spelled out when the guy asks to do DATY. As wanderection says, it's a tough one but I personally have been in this so long I look for my woman to tell me what she likes and what she does not, and I try to communicate to her what and how I would like to do things to her. My goal is to have great sex and to keep on having great sex until I can't.

 

[RalphiEboy]

Ah, a perbite writing a process I fully subscribe to! And a great topic Ms Beckett.

I view improper DATY in the same light as some woman sucking on my balls. Those babies don't need that - light touches and light licking - fuck yeah. But some gals try to put the same suction on the twins as they do on big Jim and for me, that just does not cut it and it can cause so much discomfort I might as well pack up and go home.

I have always viewed sex as very much a team sport, individuals, their wants, their sensitivities etc all come into play. But since it is a team sport that we are all partaking, feedback is important. If this is a new appointment, neither party knows what the other does, wants, idiosyncrasies, you name it, so the learning curve is steep, if it is to be a mutual and good gig. This is where sensitivity to feedback on both sides becomes important.

Personally, I view oral sex as one of the most intimate acts I can provide for my partner. I make sure my touch, whether my fingers or my tongue is feather light and the clit gets direction attention ONLY after it starts to swell. Indirect brushes and touches but not direct. Now nipples, well, being a tit man, I spend a lot of time there too, but I digress. I don't go for the gusto until I am getting feedback - if you want to call it permission - to do so. I want the process to be slow and I put what I consider as a loving touch into what I am doing. Works for me and over my decades of pooning I have a lot of feedback. As an aside there is a moment during orgasm where the woman might be 'gyrating' which is fucking awesome, but that is a challenge to keep mouth on clit in an appropriate way but, well one just needs to go with the flow, so to speak.

in my opinion I believe the key is communication, which then tells the guy to look for the feedback, to not consider this as part of gorilla sex, but something that needs a measured touch. Maybe that needs to be spelled out when the guy asks to do DATY. As wanderection says, it's a tough one but I personally have been in this so long I look for my woman to tell me what she likes and what she does not, and I try to communicate to her what and how I would like to do things to her. My goal is to have great sex and to keep on having great sex until I can't.

Most excellent report 🏆
I lol’d a coupla times to…

 

[theimp]

So, I've been having this issue with DATY/vulva stuff in sessions. I like an EXTREMELY light touch: soft licks with tongue makes me come super fast. Maybe like 70% of clients who go down on me are rough, push extremely hard on my clit, SUCK on my clit super hard, use their teeth sometimes, push their thumb on my clit in cowgirl, use their fingers aggressively on my clit, etc. I tend to say something like "can you go a bit lighter please?" or "careful, there's lots of nerve endings down there!" Maybe they'll get lighter for a bit, but not for long, or not enough. Another one clients do is continuing to lick my clit directly after I come even if I pull away, I had a client literally clamp on my legs with his arms and keep going as I jerked away so hard that I lifted him off his back, and I had to YELL "stop stop stop" multiple times before he finally got the hint (a huge turn off, obviously)...it gets very sensitive right after I come and I need a break!

Anyways, I've had experiences in the past where I've asked multiple times for guys to adjust/go lighter/try to teach them what I like and they've become exasperated or stopped doing it at all (this is not the goal, I LOVE being eaten). Any tips for how to communicate what I like in the moment without ruining the moment? HELP ME, OH MEN OF PERB

That sounds horrifying. Teeth? Wth. Unfortunately, I have heard similar stories from most women. Granted, every woman is different and unique (thankfully) but I have met very few, that want aggressive attention, in that sensitive area. When with someone new, I like them to masturbate for me, a fun way to learn what works for them.

 

[Forum mod]

Too much porn being watched by both genders. Clit are not magic orgasm buttons to be mashed like you are playing Street Fighter and dicks are not best used to beat a ladies cheekbones. Everyone needs to take some deep breaths, have some open communication and get each other off in a fun and pleasurable way. It's shit like this that I don't miss and one of massive benefits of a long-time sex partner who you have gotten the lay of the land with so to speak.

 

[Crookedmember]

I feel your pain, Charlee. Literally. I can't keep count of the number of massage parlours I've been to where the ladies think jackhammer hand jobs are enjoyable.

They're not. They hurt like hell.

Dicks are really just a more developed clitoris, and mine has a very sensitive nature.

 

[RalphiEboy]

I feel your pain, Charlee. Literally. I can't keep count of the number of massage parlours I've been to where the ladies think jackhammer hand jobs are enjoyable.

They're not. They hurt like hell.

Dicks are really just a more developed clitoris, and mine has a very sensitive nature.

Cocks chaff and scab REALLY easily too 😩