Dating a prostitute

[Bad Santa]

Honestly, I'll say this... Life is what you make it...

As an sp, I was in a 4 year relationship with a ts (Alexis Dvyne) which did not get in the way of our relationship or work, partly because we worked together. After we had parted company amicably, I have been technically single ever since... Once in calgary I thought I had feelings for a gent there, and when I told him about it, he literally went postal... texting me constantly, and becoming very possessive... we never ended up even having a first date as he was way to demanding and did not understand that I had to work...

Then I tried very briefly dating a guy but the whole thing is, if you don't want to put anything into a relationship of whatever dynamic (dating, fwb, gf bf, whatever) then just book an appt... Now he is back into the client category, as we still are friendly and the service is what he needs but we both agreed we cannot maintain a relationship per se, so it just makes sense to keep things simple. I literally have a phobia of dating as in my experience dating a guy is either way to high maintenance or there's not much benefit in giving that amount of quality time to a person who does not sincerely appreciate it.

I think of being an sp as sort of dating. I only see people I would consider dating and there's the arrangement, and after that I can send them home or they can send me home lol. Then they can have their own life, no complications everyone leaves happy and satisfied. I am happy with my life choices and all those who know me know that to be true If I ever dated anyone it would have to be a female sp who I know is sincere. At this point I would not consider dating a man unless I was Head over heels in love and he could provide for a family and wanted to have kids or something, then he would be someone I already know well so we could even skip the dating scene all together, that would be the only situation I would consider making a commitment with someone. Other than that, dating is a total WOT and energy and I have to stick with those who are sincere and support me. I just want to give time and care for those who care about me as well, that's what it comes down to for me. People who dislike my profession are not my people anyways, so any guys out there talking trash about this profession or working girls are irrelevant to my life. That being said, yes, this can be addictive, so watch yourselves guys, set a budget and stick to it. Seeing sp's can be easier than dating so I understand the convenience of it, as long as you don't max out your credit cards all the time and are responsible with your "hobby"

Lalani, there is so much wisdom in this post it should be put up as a sticky some at the top of this and every other escort review board. There is so much TRUTH here.

For me the part about the addictiveness of this hobby especially hits home. I have an addictive personality and I tend to crave sex too much at times. I also find that if I see an SP too many times in too short of a time, I'm just a person who falls in love very easily. I've fallen in love with SP's twice in my life and both times I wanted to be with her but she didn't want to be with me. It hurt both times but I am not a person who would ever stalk anyone, so both times I just stepped away, painful as it was. Now as a precaution, I rarely see the same SP more than twice in a one year period. Just keeps things sane.

I respect every single SP I've ever been with. But I like it when an SP sends me home after she's done with me, as you have before Lalani. :wink: Like you said, "no complications, everyone is happy and satisfied."

Isn't that the way it should always be??

 

[Bad Santa]

I'm with resercher on this... I believe we're being trolled.

Oh come now, Man Mountain. Warl0ck is a person who loves to push buttons and see what happens, true. Does he have an agenda, perhaps. But if he's a "troll," he's a very subtle and intelligent one. Are you saying we're all just rats in his maze, lol???? :behindsofa:

 

[Man Mountain]

Oh come now, Man Mountain. Warl0ck is a person who loves to push buttons and see what happens, true. Does he have an agenda, perhaps. But if he's a "troll," he's a very subtle and intelligent one. Are you saying we're all just rats in his maze, lol???? :behindsofa:

We'll have to agree to disagree on the notion that this is even remotely "subtle."

 

[badbadboy]

Oh come now, Man Mountain. Warl0ck is a person who loves to push buttons and see what happens, true. Does he have an agenda, perhaps. But if he's a "troll," he's a very subtle and intelligent one. Are you saying we're all just rats in his maze, lol???? :behindsofa:

i agree with Man Mountain because the Warlock continues to post in this thread while having a "How do I delete my profile thread". Such BS. It screams attention seeking although stealthy about the trolling. Do I need to remind you he brought numerous threads about another competing forum being hacked

Log out, go away or get the Admin to nuke his profile.

 

[rickoshadows]

I've been thinking of Warl0ck as troll for a few days now. He always has a contrary position to any discussion and often puts out condescending statements which can be interpreted another way, therefore providing deniability. Another give away is all his "friends" who regularly discuss their lives with him. Having any kind of discussion with him would be like trying to grasp water, frustrating and ultimately futile.

 

[Warl0ck]

Actually, resercher, I don't believe the intended audience for that post was the other board members. I think the intended audience was the PAYING ADVERTISERS on the board who support it. In my opinion, Warl0ck was expressing a view sympathetic to the women, the independent advertisers, who fund the board's very existence. If he were directing his post at other men, I don't think you'd be among the men he was including, as everything I have ever read about the relationship you have with your SP tells me you value her & the relationship the two of you have. I think he's directing it towards the man-children who make this site about trashing hookers & not about reviewing escorts. It's a very different type of mindset.

This.

I am referring to those 'man - children' who show no respect & have little self reflection. Who do I mean? It might be the pooner who writes a negative review about an SP and how felt let down but never examines what role he played in that transaction. Maybe he had terrible hygiene. Maybe he was rough and constantly pushed boundaries. Maybe he took it upon himself to harass her, set up fake appointments or destroy her business. And for my prolific comment I'm referring to just those men. Some of them may well come across as sympathetic to the women but in real life do all of what I mentioned above and more. I challenge you to spend an entire week living with a sex worker and experiencing it. I'm not troll Man Mountain. You label me a troll because you disagree with my opinions.

@BadBadBoy. I shut down my social media and disable accounts on forums all the time. I may take part in a conversation and then decide to leave so I may not want my comments indexed on Google for all of history. I simply asked what the protocol is. I've read this forum for nearly a decade. Would you like a year in review of all the names, people, debates that have taken place over the past years (and what happened to Perbatory anyway?).

This forum is a place for women to advertise their services in a centralized location. The customers are the women, not the men. It's for the women and it needs to be a safe, accepting place where they can do business. One of the routes to a safe forum is not allowing rampant misogyny and tolerate certain men who come across as alarmingly angry at women. Those are the men I'm aiming my comments at. The moderators of this site do a good job tossing out those men who trash those who service you.

 

[Warl0ck]

I've been thinking of Warl0ck as troll for a few days now. He always has a contrary position to any discussion and often puts out condescending statements which can be interpreted another way, therefore providing deniability. Another give away is all his "friends" who regularly discuss their lives with him. Having any kind of discussion with him would be like trying to grasp water, frustrating and ultimately futile.

A contrarian at times? Sure. As for mentioning the lives of people I know, is it really that far out there to imagine what I'm saying is the truth? How many married couples do you know who really don't like each other? You don't need to be overly perceptive to see what's going on out there. I listen and observe the life of my friends and family and I think about it. It's all about the ability to self actualized and be introspective. You know, the trophy wife who married for comfort wondering why there is no love in her marriage or the guy who flashes his money and then ends up shacked up with a gold digger. Yeah, I got friends like that.

 

[LalaniElectrica]

I think the only issue is trying to lump anyone into any particular category and assuming each category has it's own checklist of criteria. We are all individual people with our own motivation.

As a professional working sp, some gents will objectify us, some will care about us, some will look to bring us pleasure as much as they crave that for themselves, some will be selfish, some will be assholes, some will be adorable and just want to cuddle, you never know what some one's version of "seeing an sp" will be, but being called to fulfill a fantasy, need or desire is what we signed up for and on the clock, for the most part we are game for almost anything, of course ymmv as with any human being on the planet. It's called basic human rights, which should go without saying. So as an sp I do not take offence to being arm candy or the like as that is what we do, we escort a man or group to events, dinner, casual encounters, etc etc, if we dislike how we are treated we have the option to walk away, or not see that person in future.

If I was to date a person they would have to be very confident... They would also have to earn my trust, and yes, whoever mentioned trust earlier, that is # 1 for me, if you have not earned my trust, it's a no-go zone. That means being chill, not pouncing on me all the time, I just want to be treated like a "normal" person by my "partner" if I were to have one. Like an equal and with mutual respect and honesty, be comfortable letting my hair down, and enjoy sharing parts of life together. Sex happens naturally if there is a solid physical, mental and spiritual connection/understanding and is not something I schedule in my normal life, but I do enjoy it regularly but that's besides the point. To spend that much time with a person there has to be so much more than a physical attraction to me. If I had a bf I would want to hear all about Germany, Amsterdam and England escapades in great explicit detail and I would laugh hysterically and not use it as a weapon in the future, every woman is different. I don't believe in arguing or bickering. I basically approach relationships with common sense and honesty, but to get there is a huge commitment and if I do make such a commitment it's 100% sincere. I'm not dating to be arm candy or to show me off, or to keep me to serve your sexual appetite or group sex fantasies or any other selfish purpose. Around me yes sometimes kinky things do happen, but that's not to be expected or demanded, it must be organic.

Thx Bad Santa, I know you seemed like you have some tendencies when I was looking into your eyes, I felt like you could have stayed there forever. I had to shut it off as you are very receptive to suggestion and I know how powerful that can be for you, and for me as well in certain instances. I always mention to gents who feel they are getting too attached to do a rotation between 3 fun loving ladies and that way it always stays fun, with not too much emotional attachment to get in the way. Whatever works and keeps it fun.

A lot has been said on this thread and I have little time to reply to every comment but I will say I am happy you find my comments insightful, I have a lot of experience with relationships and dynamics so glad to share

Cheers

 

[clu]

I'm with resercher on this... I believe we're being trolled.

I haven't seen the contrary comments he's supposed to be posting in other threads, but from what I've seen him post here, I think he's legit. His insight and empathy he appears to have gained from his relationship with an ex-SP ring true to the evolution of my relationship with my girlfriend who used to be a stripper and what I know of her friends who were/are SPs. Of course you know nothing about me so you have no reason to take my word for it.

 

[Warl0ck]

I think the only issue is trying to lump anyone into any particular category and assuming each category has it's own checklist of criteria. We are all individual people with our own motivation.

A fair comment. I have at times put everything into a box to describe it or make a point. We are all individuals who think & do things to our own accord, but we also do follow patterns. Those patterns make us predictable & it's how we're sometimes conned and exploited. The art of human hacking. We're all individuals but in some ways we're all very much alike.

 

[clu]

We're all individuals but in some ways we're all very much alike.

 

[Bad Santa]

Thx Bad Santa, I know you seemed like you have some tendencies when I was looking into your eyes, I felt like you could have stayed there forever. I had to shut it off as you are very receptive to suggestion and I know how powerful that can be for you, and for me as well in certain instances.

Under your feet, the power of suggestion goes up a hundred fold Miss Lalani. And yes, sometimes "kinky things do happen" around you. :nod: :biggrin1:

 

[Man Mountain]

I haven't seen the contrary comments he's supposed to be posting in other threads, but from what I've seen him post here, I think he's legit. His insight and empathy he appears to have gained from his relationship with an ex-SP ring true to the evolution of my relationship with my girlfriend who used to be a stripper and what I know of her friends who were/are SPs. Of course you know nothing about me so you have no reason to take my word for it.

clu, I believe that you're legit and I know johnsmit is legit. i appreciate the insight that you, he and a number of the other members have brought to the discussion. But I stand by my belief that this thread was started as a way to troll this forum and it's membership.

 

[Warl0ck]

But I stand by my belief that this thread was started as a way to troll this forum and it's membership.

That's your prerogative. I signed up initially to comment on the attack on a rival forum because that's my field of expertise. I created this thread because for 10 years I've sat and read with amusement (and annoyance) about "dating an escort" both here and on TERB. I shared what I've experienced and I expressed my dismay with the sometimes ugly misogynist comments I read here and elsewhere.

Let me ask you a question Man Mountain. Suppose you were walking down Granville with your hot GF. And every person that walked by ogled your SO. And every 3rd person made comments like "fucking ho, hooker, slut, disposable, damaged goods, hey baby, I got a huge cock, do I get it for free, hey baby I'm hot, will you fuck me for free, etc. etc. etc.". How would you react? Do you think you might have opinions on that?

 

[badbadboy]

After reading 100+ threads on this, I'd like to offer some advice about this for your future success.

After 100+ threads, we need someone without any reviews to arrive and tell us how we are doing it all wrong. :hail:

BTW the thread title, dating Prostitutes ahem the generally acceptable term is SP or Escorts but that is just me.

@Alix: I referred to women in this example because we are talking about women, but I agree with you.

@Miss Hunter: My initial comment was meant to mean "treat her like the woman she is" in a positive sense that she IS a woman. It's just it doesn't come across that way and that's my fault for not actually reading the post and thinking about how others would perceive it. I guess what my real point is I've seen this thread 50 times and in each thread the woman is pigeonholed into this little box. I realize it's a unique situation in what SP's do for a living but it doesn't define them. I think part of that assumption is because males tend to define themselves by their careers.

And while I think about it, another thread I always wanted to comment on

"If I see my SP in public should I say hello"

Answer: No.
Exception: She acknowledges you first.

Yah, ok, again a thread revisited 100+ times but you did bring it up for the 101st time without adding value to it.

I want Warl0ck to stay.

Sure he's been rocking the perb status quo boat.but he's just an intelligent chatty opinionated guy.. He's not doing any harm.

I could care less if he stayed or not much like the 6969 guy it made no difference to me. He brought it up in a thread and anyone with as much forum experience as Warlock would know only Admins can wipe your slate clean. Again, it screams attention seeking :yawn:

This.

I am referring to those 'man - children' who show no respect & have little self reflection. Who do I mean? It might be the pooner who writes a negative review about an SP and how felt let down but never examines what role he played in that transaction. Maybe he had terrible hygiene. Maybe he was rough and constantly pushed boundaries. Maybe he took it upon himself to harass her, set up fake appointments or destroy her business. And for my prolific comment I'm referring to just those men. Some of them may well come across as sympathetic to the women but in real life do all of what I mentioned above and more. I challenge you to spend an entire week living with a sex worker and experiencing it. I'm not troll Man Mountain. You label me a troll because you disagree with my opinions.

@BadBadBoy. I shut down my social media and disable accounts on forums all the time. I may take part in a conversation and then decide to leave so I may not want my comments indexed on Google for all of history. I simply asked what the protocol is. I've read this forum for nearly a decade. Would you like a year in review of all the names, people, debates that have taken place over the past years (and what happened to Perbatory anyway?).

This forum is a place for women to advertise their services in a centralized location. The customers are the women, not the men. It's for the women and it needs to be a safe, accepting place where they can do business. One of the routes to a safe forum is not allowing rampant misogyny and tolerate certain men who come across as alarmingly angry at women. Those are the men I'm aiming my comments at. The moderators of this site do a good job tossing out those men who trash those who service you.

You really put a lot of value on your posts don't you? WTF who would search warlock posts on perb five or more years from now and exactly what it mean if they found them?

Nadda I would say. We are all anonymous here and having BBB's posts found years from now causes me zero concern.


Though you do talk down to the population like you have some sort of pooner expertise which us minions are not aware of in the pooner world.


Hey if you want to Troll Perb, have at it. There are dozens like you though some not as skilled as you perpetuating the discussion of rehashed stuff like you are some sort of pooner expert.

 

[uncleg]

Yah, ok, again a thread revisited 100+ times but you did bring it up for the 101st time without adding value to it.


Hey if you want to Troll Perb, have at it. There are dozens like you though some not as skilled as you perpetuating the discussion of rehashed stuff like you are some sort of pooner expert.

Well he does have 10 years of lurker experience.....guess that makes him "some sort of" pooner expert.:hail: Anyway, while it may get him a friendly reception, all the brown nosing in the world won't get him a discount.:lol:

 

[Warl0ck]

Well he does have 10 years of lurker experience.....guess that makes him "some sort of" pooner expert.:hail: Anyway, while it may get him a friendly reception, all the brown nosing in the world won't get him a discount.:lol:

You know UncleG, I'm kind of shocked at your comment. You've always been a voice of reason and respect on this forum. You're a witty guy that has dropped some real zingers in here too. You're assumption is that I'm voicing a "pro SP" in the hopes of acquiring a "freebie" is wrong. When did you get so cynical?

 

[badbadboy]

Considering the fact that he hasn't just dated an sp but has been in a Long Term Relationship with one..I feel his opinions are valuable.

And we know this to be a fact supported by the SP or is it part of the forum ID he states?

Pretend you are from Missouri before throwing the approved label on it.

 

[felixthecat]

I could care less if he stayed or not much like the 6969 guy it made no difference to me. He brought it up in a thread and anyone with as much forum experience as Warlock would know only Admins can wipe your slate clean. Again, it screams attention seeking :yawn:

Good point BBB. It's hard to imagine somebody would watch the forum for 10 years, see 100 threads on dating an SP, and didn't notice even one of 100 threads on "how to delete my account". More so with the alleged technical knowledge and presumably enough intelligence to run a search.

I wouldn't mark this thread as deliberate trolling necessarily. People may have complex reasons for posting. I hope it is a real desire to share an interesting personal experience, but it could be mixed with boredom, attention seeking, and some other traits that are also common for trolls. Or the story could be made up. In any case, it's just one possible scenario and not the universal truth.

I also trust OP is younger and more categorical in his judgement than an average member. That may explain the "know-it-all" and condescending vibe some comments here refer to.

 

[felixthecat]

You know UncleG, I'm kind of shocked at your comment. You've always been a voice of reason and respect on this forum. You're a witty guy that has dropped some real zingers in here too. You're assumption is that I'm voicing a "pro SP" in the hopes of acquiring a "freebie" is wrong. When did you get so cynical?

"Uncle, I cannot believe you would say that" - I recognize the line! Something my teenage nephew would say when he was full of shit. Is this you, Dominic?

Good description of ungleg though. I won't agree he's cynical in this case. His assumption is consistent with your words:

When you date an SP she comes home to you at the end of the day. All that she offers (and more) to men, you get for free.

So getting something for free that other people pay for, seems to be a part of your motivation. That's ok, own it.