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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Cover me. I'm changing lanes." "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools" "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep" "Time is the best teacher...

It was raining hard in 'Frisco, I needed one more fare to make my night. A lady up ahead waved to flag me down, She got in at the light. Oh, where you going to, my lady blue, It's a shame you ruined your gown in the rain. She just looked out the window, and said "Sixteen Parkside Lane"...

Who are you going to vote for tomorrow?

Jody Paterson column: Are we sliding backward as a society? By Jody Paterson, Victoria Times ColonistApril 30, 2009 I suppose every generation wants to believe it’s improving on the past. That’s how it always seemed in my history lessons at school, too — that we were intent on working our...

Sex on hood of BMW leads to gun charges By Kelly Sinoski, Vancouver SunApril 29, 2009 A 30-year-old man carrying a .22-calibre revolver when he was prohibited from possessing a firearm was literally caught with his pants down Wednesday morning. Two transit police officers were cycling...

Couple caught having sex in dumpster Times ColonistApril 24, 2009 Most couples wanting to spend a little quality time together wouldn’t choose a place like this. A Saanich police officer responding to a complaint of suspicious activity early yesterday morning in the Quadra/McKenzie area...

CBC meltdown gave 'humpbacked geeks' something to do: Billy Bob Thornton Billy Bob Thornton can't understand why his recent meltdown on CBC Radio caused such a furor, but at least it gave "humpbacked geeks" something to do, he said Tuesday on the late night show Jimmy Kimmel Live. "The fact...

An Aussie was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every...

Two drug dealers get brought before a judge. The judge tells them that if they can get others to stop selling drugs over the weekend that charges against them would be dropped. That monday the judge asks the first one "How many people did you get to stop doing drugs?". "15", he replied. "Very...

Charges expected after pizza employees video sneezing, farting on food By Graeme Wood, Canwest News ServiceApril 16, 2009Comments When you order pizza, sometimes you need a special request — extra ham, maybe half olives, easy on the sauce. And usually special orders are at the customer's...

40 per cent of Australian women wear a bra with a cup size DD or bigger By Elle Halliwell The Sunday Telegraph April 5, 2009 THE bra market is expanding, literally. Up to 40 per cent of Australian women now buy bras with a cup size of DD or higher, new figures from lingerie suppliers show...

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and...

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, 'You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage and take my...

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?' The...

WESTJET You gotta love the Canadian sense of humour. West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight 'safety lecture' and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: On a West Jet flight (There is no assigned seating, you...

Mexico begins legal debate on cannabis legalization Agence France-PresseApril 13, 2009 MEXICO CITY - Mexican lawmakers and experts on Monday began a first debate on the legalization of marijuana as part of a possible strategy to tackle the country's powerful drug cartels. The five-day...

The provincial election begins tomorrow. Who are you going to vote for?

Highest temperature: Al'Aziziyah, Libya » 57,8°C (September 13 th 1922) Fastest increase of temperature: Spearfish , South Dakota , USA » 27°C in 2 minutes, (January 22 nd 1943) Lowest temperature: Vostok Station, Antarctica » -89.6°C (July 31 st 1983) Fastest decrease of temperature...

The Best Investment Money Can Buy Feeling sorry for yourself? Struggling to get by? Wondering how you can get a bailout? Well, stop moping, because it's not too late! Look, we've all heard about Wall Street's losses. But you probably didn't hear about Corporate America's newest sure thing: a...

Airplane Cabin Air Filled with Toxic Chemicals by David Gutierrez, staff writer (NaturalNews) A new undercover investigation has found traces of toxic chemicals on board the planes of several popular commercial airlines, bolstering claims from pilots and others that contamination of the air in...