Meeting the Wife

[Thais]

Morality exists only in a full spectrum, in that it demands consistency in all aspects of it. There is such a thing as moral blindness, in that people cherry pick moral values to adhere to and ignore the other moral values that exist that would complete it.

So what does one do when she believes current moral standards, especially monogamy expectations, are inconsistent and unrealistic?
As seen by the fact that throughout human history, working and genuinely happy long-term monogamous relationships are not in the absolute majority? For modern days, there is statistics on cheating. For previous times, unfortunately, only anecdotal evidence from history and works of art and literature.

History is rampant with moral hipocrisy.
I am not using that as an excuse, but a hypothesis that our moral system may not be a very consistent with our nature.

Yes, we can devise our own system and try to follow it, but we always interact with other people and their systems - which often makes following you own extremely difficult.

 

[sexy stacey]

A Hos a HO

Your wonderful gentleman is just that,he has chosen an SP because he values his base,his wife,there is no guilt on his part as you are recreational,get over yourself.

 

[georgebushmoron]

So what does one do when she believes current moral standards, especially monogamy expectations, are inconsistent and unrealistic?

Do unto others only as you would have others do unto you.

As seen by the fact that throughout human history, working and genuinely happy long-term monogamous relationships are not in the absolute majority? For modern days, there is statistics on cheating. For previous times, unfortunately, only anecdotal evidence from history and works of art and literature.

History is rampant with moral hipocrisy.
I am not using that as an excuse, but a hypothesis that our moral system may not be a very consistent with our nature.

Human nature is complex. On the one hand, we try to maximize our gain even at the expense of others. This is the survival instinct played into greed. It can be seen as part of our baser nature. On the other hand, we empathize with those who are victimized and even help them, and we can love without condition. This can be seen as part of our higher nature.

Yes, we can devise our own system and try to follow it, but we always interact with other people and their systems - which often makes following you own extremely difficult.

There are a universal set of values among all peoples.
Should we devise a system that promotes our base nature, or allows for it (ie: "vice"), or bans it? Should the system promote our higher natures, or give it no better value than our base nature by making them equal?

 

[sexy stacey]

When did hoing become so serious,I cant quote the dali lama,but dam we all know our place,relax.

 

[mr.e]

You should black mail him

 

[Nookie Monster]

Angel
I admire your internal compass. Keeping your professional life separate from your regular life sounds important to you while it could be that the new element of danger introduced for your regular clients is adding to the excitement.

Me? I would trust your instincts.


Nookie Monster

 

[Ned Flanders]

I suspect most married hobbyists would not necessarily be thrilled if the SP knew or socialized with the SO, much less want to continue seeing the SP, and I guess this fellow is an exception. There are a lot of things that could go really wrong with this, and it is a pity he cannot figure it out.

Most SPs seem to get over any ethical hurdles involved in seeing married clients pretty easily, but I suspect it helps if they do not know and do not think about their clients' families. In this situation, Lady Companion probably is not itching to get labelled "homewrecker" if this gets found out.

Call me a cynic, but whenever I get on a discussion board where ethics or morals get discussed, I usually do not pick up much on ethics, but do get lots of insight on rationalizing.

 

[OBC]

meeting the wife

As in all jobs, you will have to decide what is right for you.
I quite often see clients on a regular basis, and thru the non professional relationship will meet thier partners and or S/O. While I am not a doctor or Lawyer I believe a part of my relationship with all clients is completely confidential. I never introduce a client as a client unless they lead the direction.
This situation is not uncommon to a lot of professional people.(I do believe you consider yourself professional) Many professionals choose to end relationships with clients if they believe thier service to that client would be not up to a standard they have come to expect for reasons out of thier control. In this case even if you and the client continued the relationship you enjoyed in the past, I believe your personal attention would have decreased so it may have ended the sessions anyway.
As always, You have to be at ease with this client and it sounds to me like that is not possible for you to maintain this type of comfort level .....

Good call on your part, if I was your client I would be happy of this choice as service is what this bus. is all about.

 

[littlejimbigher]

You should black mail him

I like your sense of humor.

 

[kman32]

Good for you. It's extremely difficult to deal with someone who has a wife and complicated baggage. I had an ex...who was married...I loved him more than any other person in my life..He left her and they separated...then one night..stupidly searching online..I found a profile of hers. She was beautiful and everything that I'm not..and it killed me. I still have so much guilt over it...a lot of the time...I see her face in my mind and it kills me..to know that I've caused a lot of pain and tears for this woman...

Putting the face to the name was too much... Knowing I had taken this woman's husband.

Very, very difficult.



I'm not playing the victim here..I made the selfish choice. I just have a lot of guilt over it. As I should.

An honest answer. Thank you for sharing it. Cheating is an emotional minefield. It doesn't matter if we're the cheater, the cheaty or the accomplice. Sometimes the mine explodes right under our feet.

Yes, I recognize that a number of my my suitors are in relationships, and I really have no issues with entertaining them.

And sometimes it explodes long after we've passed by.
But people do get hurt, even if we choose to remain oblivious.

 

[TotallyTouchin]

Just wanted to say

Good for you. It's extremely difficult to deal with someone who has a wife and complicated baggage. I had an ex...who was married...I loved him more than any other person in my life..He left her and they separated...then one night..stupidly searching online..I found a profile of hers. She was beautiful and everything that I'm not..and it killed me. I still have so much guilt over it...a lot of the time...I see her face in my mind and it kills me..to know that I've caused a lot of pain and tears for this woman...

Putting the face to the name was too much... Knowing I had taken this woman's husband.

Very, very difficult.



I'm not playing the victim here..I made the selfish choice. I just have a lot of guilt over it. As I should.

I thought this was really real and really sweet of you to post Avarice. If only every girl had a heart like that. Anyways just wanted to say it was a sweet post babe.

 

[sexy stacey]

This is the lamest ho site ever,why in gods name did you choose this profession.Is the fact that they have wives a new concept,if your so guilt ridden do somethin else.

 

[henryhill]

The twist is that the wife told me (within only a couple hours of meeting) that she had a boy on the side and that her husband didn't know about it...

What goes around comes around.

 

[sdw]

I think you both handled the situation properly. I wonder as to why you can't/won't see him again if he is such a wonderful client? Is it because you are working with his wife on a project and feel that your work will interfere with your ability to do that with her. Or is it because you have befriended the wife and are now feeling guilt over seeing the husband?
If your client/provider relationship is a good one then no reason to stop seeing him........in my opinion.....

I think it's wise of her to discontinue seeing the husband when she knows and works with the wife. Women seem to pick up on these things without actually being told and the wife would eventually pick up on her knowing the husband a little too well. Also women can tell if a woman is having sex with a man. Meeting the husband in the wife's presence very many times would probably have the wife's "spidy sense" tingling.

 

[TotallyTouchin]

Hmmm

This is the lamest ho site ever,why in gods name did you choose this profession.Is the fact that they have wives a new concept,if your so guilt ridden do somethin else.

Whoa ok. First of all, I think that the REASON that Angel posted this in the first place is that she is in the midst of a unique situation where her personal and professional life have now collided. While she was doing vollunteer work she met her client and his wife...and now she's "weirded out".

"Classy Angel" aka "Lady Companion"l has been in this buisness for quite some time SUCCESSFULLY from what I understand....The reason she chose this profession is up to her to say but it's not uncommon for people to have LIVES outside of work and being that we work in a unique job where our clients lives and our lives could be compromised if mutual discretion is somehow messed with...then YEAH...it is a dilemma.

She's not saying 'I don't want to see married men" because HELLO! that cuts out alot of clientele however she IS saying that she feels that he may be too close to her personal life to see THIS PARTICULAR GENTLEMAN anymore (LC please correct me if I'm wrong).

I am pretty suprised at how judgemental you have been in this thread Stacey- I don't know you very well at all however you have always appeared very sweet and very gracious from what I know of you. Classy Angel aka Lady Companion is a good girl with a long and positive history in the buisness so there is no need to put scrutiny on her based on her value system and the fact that she is sharing it. We all do the same job here so let's not be so harsh to judge one another or question her choice to be in the buisness. I'm sure you wouldn't like her doing that to you....and judging from what I know of Angel...she wouldn't.

 

[Thais]

When did hoing become so serious,I cant quote the dali lama,but dam we all know our place,relax.

I am pretty suprised at how judgemental you have been in this thread Stacey. Classy Angel aka Lady Companion is a good girl with a long and positive history in the buisness so there is no need to put scrutiny on her based on her value system and the fact that she is sharing it.

Actually, I would add to the wonderful post by TT that Lady Companion probably owes her success to her system of values and confidence. And to the fact that she makes "hoing" serious, as well as fun. So perhaps, it makes sense to learn from that rather than casually dismiss.

P.S.
Lady Companion, I have not been in a similar situation so I cannot add to your original thread. I doubt there could be any sort of consensus here as everybody would probably treat this on a case-by-case basis.
You know exactly what you are doing and why. Thank you for a thought-provoking rant.

 

[Sweetiepie]

Face it, you didn't "take him" from anyone, he chose to leave, and there is likely a host of reasons why some of which you may not be aware of.

That's how I felt when I had a relationship with a married guy for several years. I didn't feel guilty as a result. But at the same time, I couldn't see his wife at all anymore socially (we used to be friends) because I couldn't stand the hypocrisy of acting as though nothing was going on. It was the putting on an act in public that bugged me, not the fact of the affair. I know that might not be logical, but that's how I felt. I think also, between women its worse because you pick up more spidey senses from each other to sense what is going on, than between a man and a woman. Or is that a stereotype?

 

[kman32]

She's not saying 'I don't want to see married men" because HELLO! that cuts out alot of clientele

That would be like asking Molson's to stop serving alcoholics.

I love the attitude most escorts acquire after a couple of years in the business. It's so familiar, it's so....what's the word....male.

Now if only escorts could convince the rest of the sisterhood about this practical way of looking at things. It would save so much heartache. Escorts are lucky, even years and years after leaving the business they'll never delude themselves with the thought that their S.O. can faithful to them and only them.

 

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

If he doesn't see you, he'll see someone else.

 

[sexy stacey]

If you dont see em its fine

I do not judge anyone,the only one who can judge anyone died on the cross years ago,if he indeed exists. This is my opinion,and please dont call me gracious again. Who u tryin to impress.