Double edged ad language - feel free to add your own!

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Forum mod

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Jan 1, 2018
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I will leave you wanting more - because I will not be giving you anything close to what you expected

You will never forget your time with me - like a car crash you were in 10 years ago

You will want to tell your friends! - how bad I ripped you off

One in a million - epically terrible on a legendary scale

No one does it like me - I use sandpaper not lube

The time will fly by - you only get 14 minutes of the 60 you paid for

Unbelievable service - unbelievably bad

Just arrived/new to town - well at least these fake pics are new to me

Leaving soon, last night, moving out of town - will choose new fake pics for my ads next week and get a new text app number
 

masterpoonhunter

"Marriage should be a renewable contract"
Sep 15, 2019
3,086
5,234
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36DD = 34B or less
23yrs old = multiply by 2 and add a bit
Leaving town soon = been here for 2 years and am not going anywhere
Grand opening = for the past 3 years
Valentines day special = on June 20th
1000% real .... right ...
my god the list could go on and on ad infinitum.

I guess Barnum Bailey was right when he said that famous thing. Because this shit just keeps on coming.
 

rlock

Well-known member
May 20, 2015
2,282
1,371
113
"Upscale"

"The real deal"

"Slimthick" Dimensions that break spacetime.

" I'm ready to satisfy your every need. " - So you have money and will give it to me ?

"I'll treat you like my boyfriend." Have no idea how you treat him. Perhaps get mad at nothing and throw a vase at my head?

"An experience you'll never forget !" ... Oh great, PTSD to follow.
 

jgg

In the air again.
Apr 14, 2015
2,749
926
113
Varies now
Young…compared to Granny Clampett
Classy…has a pair of overpriced shoes
Highly Educated…only 3 spelling errors in my ad
Leave Jethro's grandmother out of this.
 

YYC

Well-known member
Jan 21, 2017
156
288
63
VIP Experience = I'm more expensive than everyone else
Drama free = don't call the cops on me after I rob you
DATO = but don't ask me to lick your ass because that's fucking gross
Non-rushed service = I'm giving exactly 9 minutes. And that includes the shower
 
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Chuckerbie

Well-known member
Feb 12, 2019
389
548
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I will leave you wanting more - because I will not be giving you anything close to what you expected

You will never forget your time with me - like a car crash you were in 10 years ago

You will want to tell your friends! - how bad I ripped you off

One in a million - epically terrible on a legendary scale

No one does it like me - I use sandpaper not lube

The time will fly by - you only get 14 minutes of the 60 you paid for

Unbelievable service - unbelievably bad

Just arrived/new to town - well at least these fake pics are new to me

Leaving soon, last night, moving out of town - will choose new fake pics for my ads next week and get a new text app number
That first one always hit me that way.
I want to be totally spent, not wanting more.
 
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rubylabellexo

Supporting Member
Apr 23, 2018
341
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Makes me think of real estate/rental language:

cozy = fucking tiny
up-and-coming neighbourhood = you'll feel like you're about to get stabbed when you go for a walk
quaint/charming = nice wall paneling and wood trim but everything is 2 seconds from breaking
 

blakealridge

FKA Charlee Beckett
Supporting Member
May 17, 2018
3,837
7,405
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vancouver, bc
www.blakealridge.com
Makes me think of real estate/rental language:

cozy = fucking tiny
up-and-coming neighbourhood = you'll feel like you're about to get stabbed when you go for a walk
quaint/charming = nice wall paneling and wood trim but everything is 2 seconds from breaking
“Two bedroom and den”: 1br, a second room barely big enough for a double bed, and a closet
 
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