Double edged ad language - feel free to add your own!

[Forum mod]

I will leave you wanting more - because I will not be giving you anything close to what you expected

You will never forget your time with me - like a car crash you were in 10 years ago

You will want to tell your friends! - how bad I ripped you off

One in a million - epically terrible on a legendary scale

No one does it like me - I use sandpaper not lube

The time will fly by - you only get 14 minutes of the 60 you paid for

Unbelievable service - unbelievably bad

Just arrived/new to town - well at least these fake pics are new to me

Leaving soon, last night, moving out of town - will choose new fake pics for my ads next week and get a new text app number

 

[westwoody]

Young…compared to Granny Clampett
Classy…has a pair of overpriced shoes
Highly Educated…only 3 spelling errors in my ad

 

[blakealridge]

I see clients of all ethnicities…but for some reason insist on asking for yours in my booking form

 

[YYC]

Party friendly - because I'll be partying hard on the money I just stole from you
International Courtesan - because I read travel blogs and really want to go to Italy

 

[masterpoonhunter]

36DD = 34B or less
23yrs old = multiply by 2 and add a bit
Leaving town soon = been here for 2 years and am not going anywhere
Grand opening = for the past 3 years
Valentines day special = on June 20th
1000% real .... right ...
my god the list could go on and on ad infinitum.

I guess Barnum Bailey was right when he said that famous thing. Because this shit just keeps on coming.

 

[blakealridge]

36DD = 34B or less

Quick note on this one: I’m a 36DD but I look smaller cuz I’m 5’10”‘and broad shouldered.

 

[rlock]

"Upscale"

"The real deal"

"Slimthick" Dimensions that break spacetime.

" I'm ready to satisfy your every need. " - So you have money and will give it to me ?

"I'll treat you like my boyfriend." Have no idea how you treat him. Perhaps get mad at nothing and throw a vase at my head?

"An experience you'll never forget !" ... Oh great, PTSD to follow.

 

[jgg]

Young…compared to Granny Clampett
Classy…has a pair of overpriced shoes
Highly Educated…only 3 spelling errors in my ad

Leave Jethro's grandmother out of this.

 

[dare.devil]

I will show you heaven where you would say only "what the hell"

 

[YYC]

VIP Experience = I'm more expensive than everyone else
Drama free = don't call the cops on me after I rob you
DATO = but don't ask me to lick your ass because that's fucking gross
Non-rushed service = I'm giving exactly 9 minutes. And that includes the shower

 

[Chuckerbie]

I will leave you wanting more - because I will not be giving you anything close to what you expected

You will never forget your time with me - like a car crash you were in 10 years ago

You will want to tell your friends! - how bad I ripped you off

One in a million - epically terrible on a legendary scale

No one does it like me - I use sandpaper not lube

The time will fly by - you only get 14 minutes of the 60 you paid for

Unbelievable service - unbelievably bad

Just arrived/new to town - well at least these fake pics are new to me

Leaving soon, last night, moving out of town - will choose new fake pics for my ads next week and get a new text app number

That first one always hit me that way.
I want to be totally spent, not wanting more.

 

[Equity Market investor]

In life, I've always been misunderstood, but, tbh, living inside my mind allows me that.

 

[rubylabellexo]

Quick note on this one: I’m a 36DD but I look smaller cuz I’m 5’10”‘and broad shouldered.

Yup, men don't understand bra sizes at all 😂

 

[rubylabellexo]

Makes me think of real estate/rental language:

cozy = fucking tiny
up-and-coming neighbourhood = you'll feel like you're about to get stabbed when you go for a walk
quaint/charming = nice wall paneling and wood trim but everything is 2 seconds from breaking

 

[blakealridge]

Makes me think of real estate/rental language:

cozy = fucking tiny
up-and-coming neighbourhood = you'll feel like you're about to get stabbed when you go for a walk
quaint/charming = nice wall paneling and wood trim but everything is 2 seconds from breaking

“Two bedroom and den”: 1br, a second room barely big enough for a double bed, and a closet

 

[ModSquad]

You can watch me

While I do my nails.

 

[Oldfart]

I guess Barnum Bailey was right when he said that famous thing. Because this shit just keeps on coming.

P. T. Barnum, who later joined James Bailey to create a circus, is widely quoted as having said "There's a sucker born every minute."

 

[sybian]

pearly white smile, and polished teeth

the two you have left…

 

[Once you go black]

“Not a clock watcher”

( I use my phone for that )

 

[Longtime Lurker]

Young…compared to Granny Clampett
Classy…has a pair of overpriced shoes
Highly Educated…only 3 spelling errors in my ad

Didn't you mean to say "ownlee 3 speling erors in my ad"?