How do you tell friend-with-benefits that her BJ isn't very good?

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take8easy

take8easy

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Jul 27, 2014
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UhOh said:
Some "friend" you are. What if she asks you "do I look fat in this dress?". I suppose you tell her yes.
I just say "baby you look so hot I'm going to fuck you one more time" and hit her like a jackrabbit. But I'm more of a romantic I guess.
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Number one, we are not talking about looks. We are all born with certain looks, skin type or body types. Telling your gf FAT is wrong, we all know that. If you think she is FAT then why are you seeing her?

Secondly, making suggestions to improve pleasure is perfectly fine, as long as it is done politely.

By the way, the response to "Do I look fat in this dress?" is not "yes, you look obese." The correct response, in my opinion is, "ummmm I think the dress is not designed right at the waist."
 
take8easy

take8easy

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Jul 27, 2014
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Miss Hunter said:
I view getting to know a man and what he likes is like driving a stick shift... every clutch is a bit different.

.
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Trust me, the vice versa is not easy either. :)
 
H

Hooks

watch a good bj porno together and say..."thats cool.... thats what i like"
 
M

Ms Erica Phoenix

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ParadiseChaser said:
This has nothing to do with calling her fat. A healthy sexual life requires conversation and an open mind. Literally everyone is different, I had girls come multiple times with screaming orgasm when I eat them a certain way and it does nothing to others. I absolutely hate fast blowjobs myself, they do nothing for me and actually turn me off. I love slow sensual blowjobs like in the video I posted. I can wait and hope for my girl to figure it out if I am lucky or I can just tell her what I like. I would love nothing more than a girl to tell me "I want you to eat/fuck me like this". Why I would I be offended if my partner is telling me how to better pleasure her?
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EXACTLY. Great sex isn't rocket science, but if you can't communicate with your partner, it is much more difficult. Personally, I love sexy talk in bed...I like hearing it as much as I like saying it! I didn't just get good at blowjobs via practice: I read reviews to find out what men like in a blowjob, & I listened to what I heard while I was giving blowjobs. Furthermore, as others have suggested in similar threads, I tried to extrapolate from what feels good on ME to what would feel good on a partner...the other part of being a good communicator in bed is asking good questions. "Do you like it like this...or is this better?" works for me!
 
islander1-1

islander1-1

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Oct 9, 2015
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From my experiences I can imagine this may be difficult... It just depends on how open minded she is. Earlier this year I met a very young lady that was just "dipping her paddle" so to speak in the SP industry. To be fair she was really quite green at it. Not only with the security protocalls but when it came to providing too. However she was open to learning. Being an old phart to her she took to me as a mentor. On the subject of BBJ ... One day while driving through the countryside to visit a friend (for a MFF) I mentioned she was getting pretty good at her BJ Skills. She smiled and said "I try" I asked is she was into improving it? Why of course, she says, why not right now? I took a side road to a dead end and we crawled intro the back seat. She unzipped me and started in. I gave her full directions.. harder,,, whoa not that hard... Deeper,, tickle here with the tongue.. soon I was ready.. and let her know.. Had her pull away so we could save it for the MFF. WOW the MMF was spectacular. First the two girls get each other off, (both are bi) then me and this young lady fiinished me off with one of the best BJs and CIM I have ever had. A few weeks later we see each other again and she thanked me for the coaching.. she had met a nice new BFand on the second date surprised him with one. He was so surprised he had to ask where the hell did you learn how to do that.. Her reply was,,,,, well from a good friend who is an old phart and a good instructor. BTW this lady decided not to be in the business.
 
T

Theguyfromvictoria

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Dec 4, 2014
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Happy to report that progress is being made!

Thanks to all for the recommendations

We spend a good portion of our labor day weekend together and she was determined to improve :)
 
G

golferjohn

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Dec 25, 2015
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In fairness to the majority of women, I'm certain 90% of their offered BJ's have been met with an enthusiastic 'YES!' and the other 10% an'ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE'...hell, we're just happy to find someone willing to do it. With a 100% 'success' rate, why change?

Now, if you happen upon a Unicorn willing to explore your personal 'nuances', a deft hand and tongue is needed. Women have acute powers of perception and generally don't require the 'nuts/bolts' user's manual approach...a slight motion or happy moan will go much further than an 'in your face porno' or a 'here, do this'. If she's willing to give you this gift, be willing to accept it with grace and employ a bit of patience. just my $0.02
 
C

Cock Throppled

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Oct 1, 2003
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Not to mention, a bj's quality is subjective. Some like deep throat, some like more licking, some like a lot of hand action, some like more or less pressure, more or less teeth, suction, saliva, etc.

Then there are the concerns of the giver - maybe she has a small mouth, protruding teeth, doesn't produce much saliva, his cock is too wide, he may not be as clean as possible, he's thrusting and she's afraid of choking, he's pushing her head (which some women HATE), etc.

The giver and the receiver have to agree on what pleases each other.
 
D

ddcanz

curmudgeon
Feb 27, 2012
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right here and now
Cock Throppled said:
Not to mention, a bj's quality is subjective. Some like deep throat, some like more licking, some like a lot of hand action, some like more or less pressure, more or less teeth, suction, saliva, etc.

Then there are the concerns of the giver - maybe she has a small mouth, protruding teeth, doesn't produce much saliva, his cock is too wide, he may not be as clean as possible, he's thrusting and she's afraid of choking, he's pushing her head (which some women HATE), etc.

The giver and the receiver have to agree on what pleases each other.
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Absolutely all of this.
It's so fucking simple.
Hence my comments below- posted in another thread when some noob knob was asking for the "best" bbbj provider.

"First off- post this in the 411.
Member for 8 months- have you learned nothing?
The best bbbj is the one that works best for YOU.
So subjective......too many variables. SP skill, size, technique, mood, client attitude,,,,yada yada yada.
Shit like this comes up every few months.
Troll question IMO."
 
M

Ms Erica Phoenix

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golferjohn said:
In fairness to the majority of women, I'm certain 90% of their offered BJ's have been met with an enthusiastic 'YES!' and the other 10% an'ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE'...hell, we're just happy to find someone willing to do it. With a 100% 'success' rate, why change?

Now, if you happen upon a Unicorn willing to explore your personal 'nuances', a deft hand and tongue is needed. Women have acute powers of perception and generally don't require the 'nuts/bolts' user's manual approach...a slight motion or happy moan will go much further than an 'in your face porno' or a 'here, do this'. If she's willing to give you this gift, be willing to accept it with grace and employ a bit of patience. just my $0.02
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Oh gj, words of wisdom! I was going to say that yesterday, during a session, I got one of the best involuntary cues possible from a recipient of my attentions. He had done a VERY good job of communicating exactly what he likes in a session, so as I was slowly drawing the tip of my tongue from root to tip, he took an indrawn breath, his eyes rolled back in his head, & then I heard a barely audible "Oh, fuck!".

Another satisfied customer...
 
papillion

papillion

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Jan 31, 2006
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Theguyfromvictoria said:
Happy to report that progress is being made!

Thanks to all for the recommendations

We spend a good portion of our labor day weekend together and she was determined to improve :)
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A progress report would be greatly appreciated.......
 
T

Theguyfromvictoria

Active member
Dec 4, 2014
590
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papillion said:
A progress report would be greatly appreciated.......
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Pretty much took all the suggestions into account and merged them. Lots of conversation, direction, playing, porn, etc.
It was actually really good.
I am not much of a conversationalist and have been told by more than one woman that I am a poor communicator (yes..I tend to internalize) so I had to work hard to open myself up.
We’re still FWB, still having fun, and actually growing closer as it’s caused me to reveal more of myself to her.

It’s beem interesting.
Thanks to all here for the advice!
 
S

storm rider

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Dec 6, 2008
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Why is the "wife" smiling in wedding pictures?.....she is smiling because she will almost never give her "husband" a blow job again.

To the OP if you have a "friend with benefits" and she even gives a mediocre blow job all I can say is STFU....if it aint broke DONT FIX IT.On the flip side how are you for eating her pussy?Do you think you are good????Are you a legend in your own mind and she is just going through the motions?

My ex was lousy at head and true to form after we got married it stopped entirely.With hindsight being 20/20 I wish I had really ENDED my marriage with some style like being purposefully caught in the marital bed with a young asian gal right when the wife got home from work with that young asian gal sucking my dick to perfection....go for the gusto so to say.....it was also the added burn that my ex was horrifically racist towards Asians.

If it aint broke dont fix it.

SR
 
J

johnsmit

Active member
May 4, 2013
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Honestly it not just friends with benefits that can't do a BJ.

Not that many escorts can fig out what turns different guys on..
There only been a few time that they came close to getting it right for me.
I guess that's why I just can't get off with a BJ.
 
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