Luxxxe Affaire

Friends?

Jethro Bodine

Well-known member
Feb 17, 2009
4,369
1,361
113
Beverly Hills. In the Kitchen eatin' vittles.
Good Morning all,

I have a question for you guys, especially those who like me are over 50.
And BTW, this question is not about bitching and complaining or a pity party but more about where I am in my life and if any one else has experienced this.

As I've gotten older, like many people, I've been taking stock of my life more often. Not necessarily regretting decisions but more so where I am and what kind of mark do I want to leave behind and I suddenly realized the other day I HAVE NO FRIENDS! :eek:
Okay, I have some friends but I have no really close, do anything for you, tell them anything, like a brother, friends anymore.
Growing up I had lots of friends and several good ones. I played lots of sports including college football. I was always part of a group of close guy friends who would do almost anything together.
Through university I had good friends and still see them on occasion at conferences. We seem to pick right up where we left off.
But none of them live locally.
Over the years I seems the close friends I had living here either moved (one just the other day) to other parts of the country or passed away (I've lost 2 good friends in the past 2 years :( )
I do have many "acquaintances" or people who I know from work who I do socialize with from time to time but I'm sure you know it's not the same.
Just the other day I'm thinking maybe I'll go to the Bomber game tonight and realized I have no one I can call up last minute and say "Hey, lets go to the game."

Like I said I'm not pissing and moaning over this. I feel blessed to have the life I do and a great daughter.
Just wondering if any one else as they've gotten older, has discovered this.

Cheers
J
 

badbadboy

Well-known member
Nov 2, 2006
9,576
277
83
In Lust Mostly
I can commiserate somewhat and I found I had to kick myself in the butt to go outside my normal circle of friends and colleagues to get more active socially. I have two other hobbies outside of this one ;) that go year round and encompass travel throughout N America plus here in W Canada. By widening my network I find that I can now pick up that phone and go to a Lions game or Whitecaps game at the spur of the moment whereas before I would be at home watching those games by myself.

I'm a social person and enjoy meeting people and doing new things so it wasn't too much of a stretch to get active in my other hobbies. I found I was too comfortable at my home doing stuff around my place and it wasn't doing anything for my social life so the proverbial kick in the butt had to happen eventually.

I guess Jethro you just gotta put yourself out there.
 

chuckertmg

Member
Mar 12, 2013
373
2
18
Not Always Sure...
It's interesting - I'm totally with you, Jethro. In my 50's, single father; at the stage of life where I've started to see a few friends pass on. Have been very focused on work life and raising kids and now that they're getting older I really find myself in exactly the same position, which is largely I think why I started in this hobby two years ago.
I do blame modern society and technology to a large degree - people spend so much quality time with their computers and television screens that the old social circles are dying out. The cultural clubs in the city - like the Italian club or Polish Club - still attract 'old world' types who can go and know that their friends are going to be hanging out there. Never thought when I was younger that I would be envious of them but it's funny how life evolves….
 

1nitestan

New member
Jun 18, 2013
780
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I can commiserate somewhat and I found I had to kick myself in the butt to go outside my normal circle of friends and colleagues to get more active socially. I have two other hobbies outside of this one ;) that go year round and encompass travel throughout N America plus here in W Canada. By widening my network I find that I can now pick up that phone and go to a Lions game or Whitecaps game at the spur of the moment whereas before I would be at home watching those games by myself.

I'm a social person and enjoy meeting people and doing new things so it wasn't too much of a stretch to get active in my other hobbies. I found I was too comfortable at my home doing stuff around my place and it wasn't doing anything for my social life so the proverbial kick in the butt had to happen eventually.

I guess Jethro you just gotta put yourself out there.
Get a motorcycle. Start riding with like-minded people. Bond....the rest will take care of itself.
 

badbadboy

Well-known member
Nov 2, 2006
9,576
277
83
In Lust Mostly
Get a motorcycle. Start riding with like-minded people. Bond....the rest will take care of itself.
I went for the four wheel kind ;)

Bad experience on an HD hitting some pea gravel. Pea Gravel 1 - BBB 0 :(
 

newatit

Member
Jan 31, 2011
741
6
18
It is not uncommon. But can be corrected. Friends as observed above come from being available to be a friend and have on. You need to think of joining some clubs, groups, men organizations, etc. I could suggest a few privately if any one cares to PM me.
 

Man in Submission

Active member
May 28, 2013
466
28
28
Okanagan
I have one real close male friend where I live that I've known since 1991, the rest, well we've just kinda drifted apart. It happens.

From my standpoint, I do not drink so that precludes hanging with a lot of the soccer and baseball guys that I did for so many years. We've all been in and out of relationships and as time goes by, you don't bother keeping in touch.

I just don't have any burning desire for male company. Not sure I ever did. Much more comfortable and stimulated intellectually and otherwise around women, especially the dominant ones lol.

I still enjoy playing soccer and ball hockey with the lads, but I just don't need to socialize with them. And as I arrive at year 55, I don't worry much about how many years I can play sports at a reasonably high level, but I do worry about how many more years I can remain pleasing and attractive to fit, good looking and sexually attractive women. With almost zero body fat, a fierce workout regimen and a very healthy diet, still think I can be a serviceable lil' slaveboy for a few years yet.:thumb:
 

Ms Erica Phoenix

Satisfaction Provider
Jun 24, 2013
5,325
5
0
58
In Your Wildest Dreams!
I have one amazing friend with whom I am closer than anyone I have ever known. Been friends since we were 12. I am not sure that I would have made it through adolescence without her. I KNOW I could not have survived the last four years without her. We were apart 20 years, and that was enough.

I have a few acquaintances, my tenants, my great new roomie/partner/pet, and of course, I have met some truly amazing men! I am making some connections with some amazing women I'd like to think of as friends: Lavinia, you know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me! Classy Angel, your emails and phone calls espouse both halves of your name equally, and Miss Naughty Knickers; I think one of us owes the other a spanking, yes? Then there are the ladies I'd like to meet but haven't yet had the chance to connect with in person (Miss VioletReii, I am looking at you! Ms Lalani, I'm.....{blush**)

I am a social butterfly who has an SO that rarely goes anywhere when he is in town; I will go anywhere anytime with anyone! Movies, coffee, theatre, horseback riding, museum trips, long drives up the Highway with the top down and some tunes on....but I never have anyone to go anywhere with, so often, I go alone. If there is a movie I really want to see, I'll go by myself rather than miss it! And Ms EmilyMarie, when I get to Victoria to see the Vikings exhibit, we'll have lunch at the Swan! ;D
 
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MissingOne

awake but not woke
Jan 2, 2006
2,170
350
83
Hmmm. Interesting thread. Made me think. I'm in my sixties (still find that hard to believe). I guess I have maybe three close friends. Two are women, one of whom is my wife. I realized, on reading this thread, that I'm lucky and content.
 

gerri

Member
Nov 28, 2006
451
16
18
Victoria, BC
Friends, I don't have many, very few. Over the years they come and go, people change jobs, lifestyle changes or move away. This past year I've been doing more outings. Before I started in this biz i did alot more social activities. Now i mostly go out alone or with my doggie. Limited with doggie though, it's not easy going out for a nice dinner, or drinks so i do alot of things by myself. It's a lonely business ladies. I'm always ready for a meet up though if any ladies would like to get together. Maybe we should start a tea club and meet once a month....LOL :)
 

1nitestan

New member
Jun 18, 2013
780
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You got it, the circle of friends with bikes just keeps getting bigger and bigger and the rides and parties better and better, love my HD's, they are great for scorin pussy too!
Ever since I started riding, I've met people (guys and gals) from all walks of life and some will/have become friends for life. Doesn't have to be HD's but you can learn a lot about a person by the way he/she rides and how they care for their bike. It's a great conversation starter if anything.
 

sevenofnine

Active member
Nov 21, 2008
2,018
8
38
yes and no,

I have view people I hang out with, we enjoy each others company,
Most people in fact bother me,

I came back just recently from a group of people I would call dysfunctional. In need of an intervention.

I guess Im very sensitive to that sort of thing growing up as a kid in my own sort of nut house, then with my own personal struggles.

Very few people I would call my friends. My kids. there older and we simply hangout,

My sp, we have shared things, have grown close and bonded there is something between us, not sure what it is or where it will end up,
but there is a level of trust there and intimacy I have with her.

Friend ship is indeed rare,
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,461
591
113














 
Can you find a place to volunteer? For a cause that means something to you? That is a good way to meet like minded people.

You could also try: http://www.meetup.com
 

Ms Erica Phoenix

Satisfaction Provider
Jun 24, 2013
5,325
5
0
58
In Your Wildest Dreams!
I feel like this thread is the perfect way to acknowledge a few Deliberate Acts of Kindness that I've benefited from this week:
-unasked for frappucinos
-customised custom-built adjustable spanking bench with leather belly and thigh straps; customised handcrafted paddles too!
-two truckloads of furnishings hauled from one house to another and up 2 flights of stairs
-a truckload of ex-furnishings hauled to the dump
-no expectation of anything in return

and all from the same wonderful gentleman that I've known less than a month and has suddenly become my Go To, Have Truck, Will Travel, handy helper. You know exactly who you are, PERBster, and I thank you for EVERYTHING you have done for all of us here!
 

yazoo

New member
Dec 10, 2011
545
0
0
I had two close friends in high school. Then I moved. Still in touch with one of them every couple of years or so. Then a brat pack in college. And then I moved.

A couple of good friends at the new job and then I moved again.

Two years ago I would have had the same complaint. But then one of my old friends moved out here to BC. We just picked up like no time had passed.

Life is faster paced when you are younger. You have more partying with strangers and more chance to make friends. But I've still met people here who I'm close to. Not do anything for friends but good buddies.
 

Stoo

Member
Apr 5, 2004
67
1
8
Far, far away... well Ontario
I've got more firends than I know what to do with. Friendships, like all relationships, take work to cultivate and maintain. Call them, invite them out/over bla bla bla.

These boards are likely filled with losers that sit at home surfing the net for porn, whacking their junk, and hiring escorts because they can't maintain a real relationship.

Fuck guys, if you don't like your lives, fix them. Unhappy marriage? Fix it or end it. Hate your job? Get a new one. Got no friends? Go make some...

Life isn't a practice run. You get one go at it, so make the most of it.

(And yes, I'm happily "partnered", just like the variety. On occasion, my SO joins me with an escort, although not often enough.)
 

yazoo

New member
Dec 10, 2011
545
0
0
I had two close friends in high school. Then I moved. Still in touch with one of them every couple of years or so. Then a brat pack in college. And then I moved.

A couple of good friends at the new job and then I moved again.

Two years ago I would have had the same complaint. But then one of my old friends moved out here to BC. We just picked up like no time had passed.

Life is faster paced when you are younger. You have more partying with strangers and more chance to make friends. But I've still met people here who I'm close to. Not do anything for friends but good buddies.
 

Craftsman53

New member
Jun 4, 2014
4
0
0
BC
I am plus 50 and have a few friends but mostly have people I here from once in awhile. A true friend is one that you can call at any time of the day or night and they will come and help you out the jam your in. Very few in your life like that. The thing is most people have an agenda that includes them wanting to gain something,money or otherwise.
In my day if you could help someone out you did it for free,just a couple of hours of your time and hopefully they passed it on to someone else, a good deed for the day.
 

Craftsman53

New member
Jun 4, 2014
4
0
0
BC
I am plus 50 and have a few friends but mostly have people I here from once in awhile. A true friend is one that you can call at any time of the day or night and they will come and help you out the jam your in. Very few in your life like that. The thing is most people have an agenda that includes them wanting to gain something,money or otherwise.
In my day if you could help someone out you did it for free,just a couple of hours of your time and hopefully they passed it on to someone else, a good deed for the day.
 
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