You get what you pay for

[MsBlaze]

Miss T’s post about longer sessions got me to thinking about a couple things – both of which revolve around whether or not ProDomme patrons are actually getting a good value for their dollar. Now, before anybody decides to string me up…hear me out!

I’ve noticed that lot of clients bounce around from one ProDomme to another and it’s my understanding that some of them do it for the newness of the experience, while others as a matter of discretion. And I question if it’s really possible to have your needs met in this way. In my experience, intensity increases as I get to know someone, learn their boundaries and read their body language. Does the need for newness or discretion outweigh the potential for intensity?

And what about interests that are intricate or time consuming? Intricate bondage, for example. Or a complete transformation. Maybe abandonment. Spending the night in a cage, possibly. Sessions that don’t call for a great deal of effort, just a great deal of time. Do you elect to forgo your passion because it’s a better value to have a session that involves more interaction, even if the activity is not your primary passion?

I am just curious and want you to spill all your secrets! If you are a jumper, what is your motivation? And does paying by the hour prevent you from indulging in the activities that you are most passionate about?

Mistress-Blaze

 

[edmontonsubbie]

...this is an interesting question/concept/dilemna/whatever...I suppose for eveyone it is slightly different. For me, it's a matter of age, moola, and distance. My preference would absolutely be to lock in with one Domme and form a nice tight controlling/controlled relationship that rides the tides of time. Said Domme would obviously know my preferences and mete them out based on good behaviour or whenever the whim siezed Her. Being such a good subbie I am, of course, certain I would have no shortage of meted out rewards....

It's like anything else....meet the right one....and it turns into a cool and mutually beneficial relationship. The trick is to meet the "right one". And that goes both ways. I heard a rumour that Dommes are human too.

eddie.

 

[Aeiyah]

Occasionally I like seeing someone new, whether it's a Pro-Domme, escort or a play partner that I meet at parties. Like everything in life, there is always an excitement in discovering new things. Every so often, you need to change things up a bit to avoid getting into the same old routine.

Generally, though, I prefer seeing someone that I know and have played with before for many of the reasons mentioned. If the chemistry is right, as I get to know someone better, the level of trust increases and so is the willingness to be open and test boundaries. For me, this results in a more satisfying experience and, quite often, some pleasant surprises. But then, this is my preference because I enjoy a bit of edge play and that requires a lot of familiarity and trust between dom and sub.

For those who are only interested only in one or two particular aspects of BDSM and aren't interesting in exploring their limits, then the bouncing around from domme to domme may work for them, especially if what they are seeking is not a particularly intense scene or if their desire is to be dominated by a stranger.

 

[PuntMeister]

Great topic Mz Blaze,

Having the good furtune to have experienced both long term bdsm relationships, one-timers, and most things in between, I think each have their uppers and downers.

Long Term uppers:
- domme can press deeper buttons as she peels back the onion of your soul, and twist the tender bits around her pinky
- if you can find the right tune, you can dance all night long

Long Term downers:
- depth of creativity and energy of both will be exposed - boredom risk; got the t-shirt mentality (works both ways!)
- can become like a bickering relationship, with dry-rot setting in at the first snit
- is the grass greener? Don't know until you try.

Short Term Uppers:
- you learn what you like, and deny yourself nothing of want
- when it clicks, it's magic
- easier to separate work, life, play
- exhiliration of not knowing / risk (see below)

Short Term Downers:
- Shallow relationships
- Lucky if you tune in -- less likely

Re: exhiliration. In a few cases I have been fortunate to really connect with a mistress and was happy to go back endlessly to explore boundaries--then she inevitably retired, moved, or changed, or I did (my bad twice). However, there are delicious boundaries to explore in a first meeting too. Most of my fondest experiences were the exhiliration of the first or second encounters, (like bungee jumping), hence I keep the blue comet at the ready. Bottom line for me is that if it is working and I am craving her, then I return. Pressing boundaries is much more mental than physical for me. So when it feels predictable, done, or commercial, I move on.

 

[_Gypsy_]

Lets see More feedback on this

Ms Blaze Awesome questions!

And great answers. Now personally I would love to see more input from the readers/lurkers to this question. What a great way to tell us about your fantasies and what your longer sessions require. Also...WHY you haven't arranged it yet to get that off your bucket list!?

Sharing is Caring

 

[Sit_on_my_face]

don't totally agree about the bordom part of seeing a Domme on a long term basis. That is mind thing I believe. If you enjoy seeing a certain Domme regularly, your doing it for a reason.

Dommes and Escorts are 2 different worlds to me. Dommes are non sexual and see them for various fantsy acts only.

I wouldn't consider myself a jumper yet due to the fact the I've only seen 1 true Domme a couple of times ( MISS T) and I may see another at some point for curiosity reasons. I'm not all that experienced in this Domme world.

I see escorts more for obvious reasons and service , attitude, play a big part as well and looks are important ( and thats a big thing with me. How she takes care of herself), feeling different skin etc.

I would think if most people are " jumpers" it might be because we have the choice of seeing whoever we want and whenever we want. Not committed to anyone, but if a freindship comes out of it ( not sure if that happens or not ), that would be an added bonus.

 

[naughtyboy]

And does paying by the hour prevent you from indulging in the activities that you are most passionate about? Mistress-Blaze

I think $200 hr is a fair price to pay for a little fun. I mean it's not like you're doing anything else. But a year ago or so after it got above that I'm like thank you but no thank you.

 

[pet]

im a jumper

i jump from Domme to Domme,

i search for that ultimate fantasy connection while i do so. i know it is not the best way to do it, but i do it this way for two reasons.

1- i am a student and do not have the money to see a Domme regularly, I save my money then go see one, if i am lucky enough to like her then i save my money again. However, by the time i save enough again it has been too long to reconnect like a regular, i am a stranger again.

2- i live in the moment a bit, i roll the dice and search for the perfect Domme. What does the perfect Domme mean? if i knew that then I would be a happy sub,, my idea of perfection changes by the fantasy and is limited by reality. i cannot afford to pay to build a connection,, i cannot afford to change my life to become a houseboy,,, and so i resort to the roll of the dice in the hope i meet someone i have an instant connection with.

 

[PuntMeister]

Punt met the perfect domme 5 times. I remember distinctly walking back to my car / hotel / pub thinking "that was IT! I can die now". Yet still I jumped. With my third domme experience, I thought that was it. I saw her many times and would have continued endlessly, but I moved - life sucks, get a helmet. The next perfect domme was years later. I was on a trip so it couldn't last; then she vapourized. #3, #4, and #5 were fantasies. I saw each more than once, but felt like Caligula in a Cathouse. What can I say -- the flesh is weak. Who will be #6? Seems ironic but my current bicycle only has six gears....

 

[_Gypsy_]

*chuckles*

Well said Punt...I love your honesty on this!

 

[PuntMeister]

Well said Punt...I love your honesty on this!

Thanks.... Hmmm, maybe there will be a sexy gypsy in Punt's future....

 

[Kittie]

great thread!!!! soo many great points!

 

[_Gypsy_]

Punt...you are such a flirt

Thanks.... Hmmm, maybe there will be a sexy gypsy in Punt's future....

 

[PuntMeister]

Punt...you are such a flirt

LOL! You have such a way with words... among other things!

Flirty, Quotie Word Smith, That's me Now are you delicious domme's done seducing me, are am I going to have to stay hard all night?

Love you ladies!

-Punt

 

[MsBlaze]

Wow, this thread has grown while I was off tending to the dirt patch that will eventually be my garden!

I am happy to see all the responses, thanks for that!

What about the Dommes? Any observations you'd like to share on this issue?

Mistress-Blaze

 

[bobo69z]

I would think boredom sets in with a domme, if you do the same thing over and over again in repeated visits.
I think a domme worth their salt should be able to make a simple foot fetish exciting even if you see them for umpteenth time.

If one has a few fetishes I'm sure each visit can be as exciting as the first.
The only time I would warrant seeking a different domme si if you're not satisfied with the present one. Not a problem here Miss Nina...

 

[bobo69z]

Just wait till you see how my new shoe and boot collection has been growing!
Not boring!
xoxo
Nina

I would hope to do some "boring" though....

 

[jeraldlecinq]

Read this thread a number of times. it really depends whether you have managed to meet the core of the other person. If you have then the amount you pay is not all that important. In my case, i only get to session with my domme maybe monthly, but i make the effects last for that month and as get closer to the next visit the longing, the anticipation builds.
The other factor is the issue of respect. If it isn't there from both sides, then its hard to see how the relationship can continue on a postive note.
My 2 cents worth

 

[Rumply Pink]

I'm a closet fetishist, and I probably got trust issues too. But I remember when barbers still used to use the straight razer and a lady barber cut my hair. The approach of the razer and the slight rise of anxiety as I feared being cut (trust issues with women, remember?) was made sweet by the near complete relaxation as that first - shhhhhhick - stroke of the razer found me not bleeding all over the place.

I could be wrong, but wouldn't something similar exist with an unknown domme? The fear that she really might go unpleasantly too far would add a new realism, or maybe just different dimension, to powerlessness. Wouldn't it?