Go ahead and be with her, just be prepared for the child support payments, half of your income and your house if you have one.
Woman with 2 year old child who rejected you 3 years ago
- Thread starter poorboyv6
- Start date
I don't really enjoy responding to these type of threads because I don't really think there's a right answer without knowing the dynamics of the two individuals, nor do I think it wise to seek advice for something like this, as the ultimate decision should remain with the originator of this thread.
There's no delegating responsibility to a bunch of unknown posters on a website for these type of decisions.
You have to do what you think is right, and hope it works out.
Good luck.
There's no delegating responsibility to a bunch of unknown posters on a website for these type of decisions.
You have to do what you think is right, and hope it works out.
Good luck.
I agree, 1000s of women out there. A coworker is bad enough.
Just keep remembering that 2-3 years ago, this woman looked at you, thought about you, considered you.
Then decided NO that man is not what I want.
Is she broke? Will she be into you when the kid gets older and is in school all day?
Not to mention all the office nonsense you will get......you will be literally helping to raise and pay for the child of one of the bosses. Who got your GF pregnant then left her for you. At my work you'd be called the office cuckhold
<< Is one of the nice guys. Nice =/= doormat.
Don't let the twit into your life. I wouldn't suggest playing her either...take the high road and see if she has any hot, single friends
I dont think it has anything to do with slights at single moms.
Single moms can be great.
But this isn't about a single mom.
Its about a childless woman who had no interest in this guy.
Had a kid, life is tougher, and he is all of a sudden a catch
Its hard for the guy to ever get passed that she never liked him before.
Single mothers are just fine, provided they have their act together and have truly moved on. It's tough for anyone to step into an existing family situation, even tougher if the relationship doesn't work out (as you effectively lose 2+ relationships at once). There are other reasons that I think guys avoid single mothers... myself, I want to have a family of my own. If I met a single mother and she wasn't interested in having any more children, I'd move on (I respect her decision, but I know I'd be unhappy without at least 1 child of my own). This has already happened once or twice for me... other men probably have similar deal breakers.
As much as they may not want to admit to it, men can also have alot of trepidation entering into a relationship with a single mother. All of a sudden, there's alot of percieved expectations thrown at you... and you feel that you have to step up and perform to your best. Whether the woman even knows the guy is feeling like this or not really has no bearing on it. It's just an instinctual thing most guys have.
I doubt there would be any issue if the two of them only recently met. However, they aren't strangers at all...they have history. If, 3 years back, she had told him that she thought he was a great guy but that she was in a relationship, there would be few questions. The problem seems to stem from:
1) she blew him off as a nobody (ie, she's already told him that he's not her type)
2) she's a coworker
3) her baby dady is also a coworker, and is management.
4) Now, 3 years on and with a kid in tow, he's suddenly a catch.
Now, it's true that we don't necessarily have all the details... but the first 3 are pretty significant indicators. Is it possible that she's changed her ways? Sure. That still doesn't mean it's a good idea to get involved. What if the bad boy father decides he wants to take a more active interest in his childs life...and maybe hers? Old feelings die hard, and the desire to have a complete "family" is strong for everyone - the OP could easily find himself out on the streets, once more (I'm only considering this because she stated in the past that he wasn't her type & that she has plenty of contact with her ex.).
Also, as others have mentioned, it could cause difficulty at the work place.... there's an old saying about fishing off the company pier.
Her ex could cause a heap of trouble for the OP, if he's the vindicative type.No, he isn't. He works at a different branch.
Just like that? She wants to date him and he's automatically obliged to? Maybe the OP has a chance to date her and wanted other peoples opinions given the situation.
You read waaay to much into other peoples posts. Sometimes things are just as a poster describes them.
Jumping to conclusions
Ali, you are jumping to conclusions!
I do not work at the same branch as the other guy. The branch he is at is 100 kms away. He has no idea of any interest as I have not asked the woman about a date. I came here first to get an opinion so I'm not caught thinking with my little head.
I have 630 hours of vacation time, and when the new fiscal year comes, will get another 120 more, and need to use up 150 hrs as I am not supposed to carry any more than 400 hours.
Ali, you are jumping to conclusions!
I do not work at the same branch as the other guy. The branch he is at is 100 kms away. He has no idea of any interest as I have not asked the woman about a date. I came here first to get an opinion so I'm not caught thinking with my little head.
I have 630 hours of vacation time, and when the new fiscal year comes, will get another 120 more, and need to use up 150 hrs as I am not supposed to carry any more than 400 hours.
Plenty of fish in that great big ocean dude,save yourself the trouble & get your hook wet somewhere else.Might sound mean but its still good advice.
Ok a lot of the people saying run away are being bashed as being against single moms or whatever. I call BS on that one.
Take the baby entirely out of the equation.
I still say run away.
It's still dangerous, drama-filled and little to no up-side for the OP.
Take the baby entirely out of the equation.
I still say run away.
It's still dangerous, drama-filled and little to no up-side for the OP.
Ok a few points:
This isn't about her being a single mom. This is about him risking his career for a girl who doesn't even really want him.
Not her fault that she didn't act interested? Uh. Say what? Was she under alien mind-control at the time? Whose fault was it?
Real Men have to eat too. Would a "Real Man" openly steal his boss's wife? Not unless he was ready to quit anyway. This isn't about worrying about what people think, this is worrying about losing your job.
Take the baby out of the equation and it's still a baaaaad idea.
ps: Nothing wrong with single moms, I'd "involvement, dating, love" one if the right one came along. But there are a lot of reasons why this is very likely the wrong one for the OP.
If that were the case, this woman would have chosen the OP to begin with. You make it sound like she's the innocent one here. This isn't going to work, no matter how idealistic you are. She disrespected him then, why change now? The OP should move on.
Real men, with real confidence, dont care what others tell them to do and decide for themselves. They see a selfish female and they stay far away, instead of being shamed into it by these women for not being a "real man".
Real men don't listen to someone who is not a man tell them what a man is cuz no woman can possibly know what being a man is all about.
That's my main beef here. This isnt even about her being a mom now, or the other dude being in a ranking position.
It's the sheer principle that we have this woman disrespected poorboy. Period. Two wrongs don't make a right. But two rights and you're doing a 180 into disaster.
It's the sheer principle that we have this woman disrespected poorboy. Period. Two wrongs don't make a right. But two rights and you're doing a 180 into disaster.
Funny, then why are the women always putting on makeup and heels and spend endless amount of money on clothes and hair? What about even getting plastic surgery? Big plastic tits?
I think the only men you know about are the ones who pay you.
I had a similiar situation with a girl who was dating some guy and showed no interest. Only diff was this person had no kid or baby. Was told by this woman that she was interested in me but couldnt do anything cause she was already in a relationship. With poorboy , ask the girl why she didnt show any interest before? and see what she has to say about it.
