Why men prefer dogs

[Gentleman First]

*****Why Men Prefer Dogs Over Women*****

Dogs love it when your friends come over...
Dogs think you sing great...
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink...
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you...
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs...
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name...
Dogs are excited by rough play...
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away...
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair...
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor...
A dog's parents never visit...
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions...
Dogs like beer...
Dogs don't hate their bodies...
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had...
Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer...
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives...
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day...
Dogs can't talk...
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk...

 

[Randy Whorewald]

My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

 

[gravitas]

My dog is smarter than your honor student

 

[Randy Whorewald]

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"

Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!

Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!

 

[Randy Whorewald]

10 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Dog

If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.

No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.

Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.

Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.

No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute.

Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.

You can spend hours just smelling stuff.

No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.

It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.

Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.