This one's for the Stryker...cuz he asked so nicely and because he was pointing something at me when told me he knows where I lived...
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Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, they were discussing professions and the newcomer replied "I'm a hit man."
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look?...I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!...........What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"One thousand dollars for a bullet."
"Ok, I'll pay for two bullets. First, shoot my wife in the mouth because she constantly nags me. Then the neighbor, he's screwing my wife so shoot in in the dick to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. More minutes went by. Finally the first golfer asked impatiently "Are you going to do it or not?"
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I'm trying to save you a thousand dollars here....."
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Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, they were discussing professions and the newcomer replied "I'm a hit man."
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look?...I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!...........What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The bitch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"One thousand dollars for a bullet."
"Ok, I'll pay for two bullets. First, shoot my wife in the mouth because she constantly nags me. Then the neighbor, he's screwing my wife so shoot in in the dick to teach him a lesson." The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. More minutes went by. Finally the first golfer asked impatiently "Are you going to do it or not?"
"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I'm trying to save you a thousand dollars here....."
