Why do men use escorts?

[Miss*Bijou]

ONe can have an "open schedule" and be "open to accepting appointments" so it may be that are you open is just short hand for those phrases. Likely not meant in a derogatory way. Also the term "use escorts" may not be intended in the way that it is coming accross. People often say "use a service" and once again are skipping over the refernece to the service and incorrectly attaching the term "use" to th eprovider herself. WE say "use" telus, but use is not meant to imply that we take advantage of telus. However, there is clearly still a social stigma attached to the escort business. However that is likely due to the fact that we have been taught as a culture that monogamy is the correct behavior and that sex and love ares upposed to be closely related. But due to the consistent prevalence of the exchange of intimacy for currency throughout history and accross cultures this is obviously a tool to drive a certain segment of the economy underground to keep it prosperous for a few. As long as organizations can use Guilt and SHame to find scapegoats for the problems of the world they can maintain control, power and divert attention away from their wrong doings to others. Others that are engaging in a transaction that under proper circumstances should be between the consenting adults and nobody else.
Perhaps a bit of a transgression? My point is that words like "use" and other negatively saturated words and phrases are encouraged in conjunction with escorting in order to margiunalize and silence those that engage in it. It benefits those that need to point a finger in a direction other than their own.

Yes, I've thought of that before. But it just always sounds off to me whenever I hear it said that way and I always think, doesn't it sound weird to people who say it? lol It doesn't necessarily offend me, it just sounds wrong and like I said, rubs me the wrong way. I'd never say that to anyone because I would feel like I'm being rude lol I know it isn't meant to be offensive and people who say it like that probably think nothing of it. But it's just one of those little details I happen to notice (although I had a friend say the exact same comments after a client asked her what time she was open 'til...I'd never said anything to her before and her reaction was the same as mine: part cringe, part wth, part whatever...lol It's just something I'd only say if I was referring to an office, a store, a clinic. For example, if I was talking about a hair salon, I would ask what time it closed at but if I wanted to know about a hair stylist specifically, then I would never ever ask her what time she's open until. I'd ask what time she's working until, what time she's taking appointments until, what time she was available until, etc.. So in that sense, it just sounds odd when I'm asked 'until what time I'm open'. Maybe semantics but it just doesn't seem like it's the proper context when you're asking an individual and not asking about a place of business. Does that make sense?


Your Telus example is a bit the same. For example, I think it would sound less odd to hear someone say they used x (escort) agency. And that would be the same as your Telus example. But if you were referring to the person who actually sold you the phone, for example, wouldn't it sound strange to say you used so-and-so? Or if you said you used a (Telus) salesperson. It would make sense (to me) to say you used their automated (phone or online) service to pay your bill but you wouldn't have used a customer service representative.. Anyway, that's just the way I would

Miss Bijou, I guess you must really hate guys who ask "Are you free now?" instead of "Are you available now?".

Hate's a strong word to begin with. I wouldn't say I 'hate' the examples I've discussed above but when it comes to your example.. Actually I find it kind of amusing, it doesn't bother me at all. I just always answer saying I'm available (or not). But that's a different example because we use the "Are you free" expression all the time so it's understood as referring to availability and not with money or compensation in any way... If I were to answer, 'I'll be free in an hour" or something similar, we both understand it to refer to my availability and not that I've just told him an hour from now, I can provide a service for free.

oh no no no, Miss Bijou would never do that; she's different

I think "use" is a valid term for this type of industry. There is no doubt in mind that the majority of men are "using" escorts; just as the majority of escorts are "using" men.

For an escort to ever publicly admit that she is "using" men for money would be rather foolish; but let's be honest.

Of course. And escorts don't use MEN for their money eh.

Some of you are so bitter, it's not even funny. I don't use men anymore than anyone you pay in exchange for any other kind of service. Do you guys go around making passive aggressive veiled accusations that of course your barber/dentist/cleaning lady/landscaper/mechanic/plumber/therapist/lawyer/taxi driver (I could keep listing lots more..) is using you for your money...?


Sheesh.
Thankfully, not everyone has that twisted mentality....

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THats like saying London Drugs uses people who have coughs. Escorts arent chasing the men they are advertising a service that men need and seek out and pay a price for. That is not using that is being paid for a service. WHen you pay for something that you research , seek out, book yourself after being provided with a price, how are you being used,? you are being provided with as convenience. Give me a break!

Well perhaps "see" would be a better term than "use" to avoid offending anyone's sensibilities about the subject...but I was only using the language of the articles..whether we want to get caught up in a debate about the dynamics of power and control and the use of language to illustrate a prevailing cultural bias towards the acceptable nature of the transaction between escort and client I believe is kind of missing the point of why I put the topic up for discussion.

I know. It's all good, I wasn't directing this at you specifically as I've heard a lot of people say that and yes, outsiders often use that term as well. I think they/we should say it differently so I brought it up lol

 

[Miss*Bijou]

i into the PUA scene with www.vancouverlair.com and studied some PUA material like mystery method, the game with neil strauss, simple pickup. its all a numbers game. you have to approach a lot before you get any date. sometimes its not even worth the trouble be it time 4 hours gaming and getting 3 numbers and maybe land a date and maybe get a lay.
i mean a random approach stranger girls too

OMG I think I just puked in my mouth. That shit is just so creepy and so sleazy.
Ugh. PUA nonsense... So douchy.

*shaking my head*

Gross.





<div style="max-width: 600px;">
<a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/06/24/ken-hoinsky-author-of-controversial-seduction-guide-funded-via-kickstarter-apologizes/">
<img src="http://www.curate.us/i/q/10PjZ.png" width="100%" alt="I, for one, don't think books like this need to exist at all�at least not when framed in a man vs. woman, "Women: How do they work?" sort of way. I don't understand why a lonely, straight man would turn to another straight man for advice on how to interact with women. Save your money and ask a woman, genius! When a basic human interaction like dating is broken down as though there are tricks and/or shortcuts, then it reads like a game where the woman (or, at least, access to the woman's vagina) is considered the prize. Women are not video games�there are no cheat codes."
</a>





<div style="max-width: 600px;">
<a href="http://jezebel.com/5550936/ask-men-has-12-ways-to-steal-your-heart-ladies">
<img src="http://www.curate.us/i/13Hq.png" width="100%" alt="Clipped from http://jezebel.com/5550936/ask-men-has-12-ways-to-steal-your-heart-ladies">
</a>

 

[Tugela]

OMG I think I just puked in my mouth. That shit is just so creepy and so sleazy.
Ugh. PUA nonsense... So douchy.

*shaking my head*

Gross.

The PUA thing is basically all about getting sex from a girl by systematically deceiving her in a cynical way. She ceases to be a person, and becomes a thing. It is not about dating or relationships, it is all about getting notches on the belt for no other reason other than that more notches make you "better" in some way.

Basically it is passive form of rape, the mentality is the same.

 

[V1Rotate]

Some of you are so bitter, it's not even funny. I don't use men anymore than anyone you pay in exchange for any other kind of service. Do you guys go around making passive aggressive veiled accusations that of course your barber/dentist/cleaning lady/landscaper/mechanic/plumber/therapist/lawyer/taxi driver (I could keep listing lots more..) is using you for your money...?


Sheesh.
Thankfully, not everyone has that twisted mentality....

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This is ridiculous. This thread had a ton of potential until you showed up and steered it directly off course by making it a debate of semantics and now it's a debate over the verbiage of the word use over the word see, and you roll your eyes at me. My response was clearly tongue in cheek.

I don't have a problem with the word use. People use services all the time. Now can we get back to talking about that?

 

[BonerHardBiceps]

OMG I think I just puked in my mouth. That shit is just so creepy and so sleazy.
Ugh. PUA nonsense... So douchy.

*shaking my head*

Gross.

If a 5'6, fat, unemployed guy used PUA on you, you would consider it creepy and disgusting

If a 6'2, 220 lb, 8% BF shredded guy who makes $250k per year used PUA on you, you would consider him "hot" and "attractive"

 

[Ms.Lolita Monroe]

i assume you mean in exchange FOR money? Or are you trying to say something else. Sounds like escorts are "middlemen" of some kind

LOL thanks for rectifying that. Yes I did mean FOR, I was quite sleepy at that point smh
Escorts are def not any kind of middlemen.... I was trying to respond to the person who said escorts USE men for their money. Like you previously mentioned men research and seek out the services of an sp and therefor it is a convenience for the men. It is a simple matter of demand and supply. Thank you for seeing this with a broadminded perspective.

 

[Ms.Lolita Monroe]

Most guys wont admit it but I use use escorts because i can't get normal girls at school/work. These days, with the high standards girls have, you need extremely good game/good looks and money to be able to get sex without directly paying for it.

That is not necessarily true. I see some of my most broke and average looking friends getting laid on a regular basis....

 

[Tugela]

That is not necessarily true. I see some of my most broke and average looking friends getting laid on a regular basis....

Good looks and power are not the only things women find attractive, charisma is way up there, probably the most important thing. If you don't have charisma, or if it is weak, you are going to need a LOT of good looks and/or power to make up for that deficit.

Usually when you see a guy going on about how they can't get girls even though they look good/work out/have money etc etc, the real reason for their problems with the opposite sex is that they have the charisma of a wet rag.

It applies to women too, not just men, but....women can't leverage power the same way men can, so they have fewer cards to play. The only extra option they have that men don't is to make their sexuality more readily available, but that will only take you so far.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

If a 5'6, fat, unemployed guy used PUA on you, you would consider it creepy and disgusting

If a 6'2, 220 lb, 8% BF shredded guy who makes $250k per year used PUA on you, you would consider him "hot" and "attractive"

Maybe when I was 14 or 15 lol That's not how my brain works. That's why when my friends describe their 'type' physically, I can't answer because I honestly don't have a 'type'. Sure, some things I like better than others but it really isn't what determines if I'm interested. I have acquaintances or guys I've met who are hot and I can acknowledge they're hot but if the guy is an airhead, or shallow and nothing interesting to say and the conversation is boring or he's trying so hard to show off or is just obviously so into himself - a whole list of thing, he can be hot like hell but it will be completely useless because I won't be attracted to him. It's just not there. On the other hand most of my ex boyfriends are guys I did not find attractive right when I met them but a combination of things about their personality, their attitude, the chemistry and many other small things - changed how they looked to me and the attraction was there. It's why I've never been able to do the online dating thing - because I get nothing from a picture and short profile on the internet. I need to get more of a vibe because without that, even if the guy is hot, it doesn't make a difference. If he's got nothing interesting to say, if he's dumb or only talks about himself the whole time, if he's so insecure he's just showing off and fake, his look or money will not make any difference.

And if he's using PUA, he's going to be a lot of these things. I don't respond to that. So I'll definitely think he's douchy. It's pretty obvious when someone playing games and when they're being fake. Maybe if a guy is using it on an 18 year old who hasn't figured it out yet or happens to be just as fake, it might (maybe) work but even if she doesn't know it, he's still douchy.

Good looks and power are not the only things women find attractive, charisma is way up there, probably the most important thing. If you don't have charisma, or if it is weak, you are going to need a LOT of good looks and/or power to make up for that deficit.

Usually when you see a guy going on about how they can't get girls even though they look good/work out/have money etc etc, the real reason for their problems with the opposite sex is that they have the charisma of a wet rag.

Exactly!

 

[grusse]

to get back to the title of the thread....Why do Men Use(edit:See) Escorts?

can only answer for myself......Because I Can!