When do you tell your girlfriend about your pooning past?

[superman88]

I was wondering at what point in a relationship with a girlfriend you tell her that you've pooned in the past. Would you mention it on a first date? Or would you wait until you're six months into the relationship? It seems it would be wise to tell her before an engagement. But why not keep it a total secret. Does it matter that she knows? I suspect many girlfriends would frown down on men with a lengthy pooning history. Or does she even care? (Likely it depends on how open-minded the woman is.) I'm completely unattached at the moment. But what if I decided to jump back into the fray? Damn! I knew I never should have gotten into this hobby in the first place!

S

 

[bcneil]

Don't see why you'd ever tell her. Nor would I go into much detail about all the civie girls I have been with.

 

[87112]

A mature adult knows everyone has some kind of baggage/iffy background. It should never even come up unless you are dating a dummy with no common sense.

 

[bcneil]

There is just no benefit to her ever knowing. People can be irrational.

I was dating a girl a few years back, I was 32. She was 31 and divorced.
So one day she is trying to get me to tell her how many women I have had sex with.
How old when I lost my virginity type stuff. So eventually I just tell her 18 years old and about 40 women.
She is somewhat grossed out. Tells me 18 years old too, but only 13 men including her husband.

But then she starts bringing it up and making rude comments every so often.
So I decide to have some fun. Pull out my calculator....yes I really do carry my calculator around with me.
Ask her what year she got married, how long they dated, when they got divorced.......

Turns out in those 14 years I slept with 2.85 women a year.
Turns out that if you exclude the time she was dating or married to her husband. 12 men in 21 months. 6.85 men per year.
Two and a half times my rate. Then I pointed out "hey 2.5 times my 40 is exactly 100"

She got so mad. Then tried to make her number look lower by telling me she had sex with 3 of those guys in the last year of the marriage so it was closer to 4 on average.

 

[badbadboy]

What happened in the past stays in the past. Why do you feel the need to upset the apple cart?

So many reasons as to why not disclose but I am more concerned as to what you expect in the future from your GF. With info like this its like a huge brick she will hold over your head should things ever turn south on your relationship.

 

[badbadboy]

Double Tap

 

[wilde]

Take it to your grave man. If you tell her, she will inevitably tell her girlfriends and one or more of those girlfriends will bring up the "once a cheater always a cheater BS".

 

[1nitestan]

Would you want to hear about the time she had a bukkake session with the entire varsity football squad?

yeah...I didn't think so.

 

[Mindblown]

I will take this secret to the grave.

 

[1nitestan]

On the other hand....Say you decide to tell her....

It's all in HOW you tell her. You'll have to frame it in a certain context and give logical reasons

yes, I've purchased sex before. I did it because-

- it's not worth lying to a girl simply to get sex when you don't want a relationship
- it has kept me from making bad dating decisions based on how badly I wanted to get laid at the time

If you treat it like it's no big deal then you also establish that you can't be easily manipulated by the offering/withholding of sex in a relationship. It might even make a woman try harder to please you knowing you've been with 'professionals'.

If she's completely disgusted/judgmental with your disclosure, she's probably not the kind of girl you wanted in the first place. If however, she can look at it objectively...then there might be potential with such an open-minded person.

It's your call, you have to gauge whether this person is capable of handling such unconventional activities. You could approach it via a game of truth or dare...or simply talk about "What's the craziest sexual thing you've done?" and compare stories with each other. Make sure there's adequate liquor/weed.

 

[Dickson]

I agree with the rest of the guys on here. No need to tell if you do you as good as dead. I have never been married and never will. Because of my past no women could ever trust me and a few times when they find out about the hobby I have participated in they head for the door after they punch my lights out.

So if you are going to live my lifestyle be prepared to live it alone. I am not complaining but just know no one wins when you tell her. Much like the SPs hard to have a regular relationship always fearful he or she will find out.

Never met a lady yet that would understand. So take the advice do say anything.

 

[newatit]

No one above has said to tell her, many reasons. After 50 years of marriage, let me tell you, this is something that will never be forgotten, and at any opportune moment it will be tossed back in your face. It basically is none of her business. Many years ago when we were pure enough, and you expected to marry a virgin, a truly good woman who contained herself for marriage to that one man who would be her perfect knight, we were encouraged to shed the bonds of guilt and tell all.

What fools, never tell anyone anything like that. It is over, done, forgotten, and not to be repeated.

 

[Dickson]

I agree with the rest of the guys on here. No need to tell if you do you as good as dead. I have never been married and never will. Because of my past no women could ever trust me and a few times when they find out about the hobby I have participated in they head for the door after they punch my lights out.

So if you are going to live my lifestyle be prepared to live it alone. I am not complaining but just know no one wins when you tell her. Much like the SPs hard to have a regular relationship always fearful he or she will find out.

Never met a lady yet that would understand. So take the advice donot say anything.

 

[Tarzen]

Learn from Bill... I never had sex with Monica.

if you really want to tell her. put it on the Vancouver Sun.

It's innocent at the moment.. you will find out when you spill the juice on the floor...

 

[johnsmit]

Yah
I have only seen escorts.. and only have ex escorts as friends .
They have a problem with guys that have seen escorts.. Part jeluiosy and part the fact that they don't trust the guy to stop seeing escorts or that they might run off and see one when there not in the mood.. after all they know what guys do..
Think how some one who is not in the business will react

 

[felixthecat]

S, I thought this was another troll post before noticing your name. Of course you don't talk about your intimate past during first few dates.

For longer-term, I don't believe there's a universal answer. Nobody has to disclose a "reasonable" prior sexual history even to their soul mate. The fact it's P2P is not very relevant. A smart lady shouldn't be asking you about that herself either unless she's ready for the answer.

There may be a case to tell. Plenty of civilian women are fine with men being men and the concept of pooning. There are benefits of honest relationships; but she may still prefer "don't ask don't tell". You need to know her well enough to decide.

It's a bit trickier for a long-time hobbyist who goes for variety. Say if his number is in hundreds, it's hardly considered 'reasonable' by most and indicates he may be not suited for a traditional monogamous marriage. Nothing wrong with that, but withholding that info is similar to a former SP not telling her SO, or to somebody hiding their bisexuality from their SO - which are breaches of trust.

Ah yes, and if C-36 passes, Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms will guarantee you don't have to testify against yourself on this matter.

 

[Tugela]

I was wondering at what point in a relationship with a girlfriend you tell her that you've pooned in the past. Would you mention it on a first date? Or would you wait until you're six months into the relationship? It seems it would be wise to tell her before an engagement. But why not keep it a total secret. Does it matter that she knows? I suspect many girlfriends would frown down on men with a lengthy pooning history. Or does she even care? (Likely it depends on how open-minded the woman is.) I'm completely unattached at the moment. But what if I decided to jump back into the fray? Damn! I knew I never should have gotten into this hobby in the first place!

S

You don't. Firstly, if you are in a relationship with someone, their prior sexual history should be irrelevant. Adopt a don't ask/don't tell policy. There is rarely any good that comes from either of you discussing your sexual past. And if you are asked, before you reveal anything make sure that it is understood up front that anything you do say is going to accepted without judgement (and that goes not only for escorts, but past girlfriends as well). Whatever the situation is, if you have a discussion like that, one of you is almost certain to have had a more adventurous past than the other, and that is going to cause more problems than it is worth unless both of you are adult about it before the discussion starts.

Secondly, if you tell her something like that, you are also going to have to explain WHY you did it, and that may not be a road you want to go down. If you have seen escorts purely for casual recreational sex, most people are going to see you as someone who would do that in the future as well since it reveals something about your attitude towards relationships. In general, women are not going to be particularly eager to pursue a relationship with someone who they believe is likely to cheat on them in the future. If you are going to tell her you did it, you better have a damned good reason ready for why you did it as well, because she is going to insist on that as a bare minimum.

 

[Tugela]

S, I thought this was another troll post before noticing your name. Of course you don't talk about your intimate past during first few dates.

For longer-term, I don't believe there's a universal answer. Nobody has to disclose a "reasonable" prior sexual history even to their soul mate. The fact it's P2P is not very relevant. A smart lady shouldn't be asking you about that herself either unless she's ready for the answer.

There may be a case to tell. Plenty of civilian women are fine with men being men and the concept of pooning. There are benefits of honest relationships; but she may still prefer "don't ask don't tell". You need to know her well enough to decide.

It's a bit trickier for a long-time hobbyist who goes for variety. Say if his number is in hundreds, it's hardly considered 'reasonable' by most and indicates he may be not suited for a traditional monogamous marriage. Nothing wrong with that, but withholding that info is similar to a former SP not telling her SO, or to somebody hiding their bisexuality from their SO - which are breaches of trust.

Ah yes, and if C-36 passes, Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms will guarantee you don't have to testify against yourself on this matter.

If you are doing it right you are not paying her anyway. It is a one night stand where you accidently forgot an envelope that happened to have some valuable stuff in it. Don't you hate it when that happens?

 

[Tugela]

There is just no benefit to her ever knowing. People can be irrational.

I was dating a girl a few years back, I was 32. She was 31 and divorced.
So one day she is trying to get me to tell her how many women I have had sex with.
How old when I lost my virginity type stuff. So eventually I just tell her 18 years old and about 40 women.
She is somewhat grossed out. Tells me 18 years old too, but only 13 men including her husband.

But then she starts bringing it up and making rude comments every so often.
So I decide to have some fun. Pull out my calculator....yes I really do carry my calculator around with me.
Ask her what year she got married, how long they dated, when they got divorced.......

Turns out in those 14 years I slept with 2.85 women a year.
Turns out that if you exclude the time she was dating or married to her husband. 12 men in 21 months. 6.85 men per year.
Two and a half times my rate. Then I pointed out "hey 2.5 times my 40 is exactly 100"

She got so mad. Then tried to make her number look lower by telling me she had sex with 3 of those guys in the last year of the marriage so it was closer to 4 on average.

You see, that is why it is a bad idea to have that conversation. In the ensuing argument she inadvertently revealed that she is a serial cheater, something she probably wasn't planning on telling you

 

[badbadboy]

Before going back to full time Pooning I was in an LTR and she would bring this topic up just to see where it went. We grew up near each other and vaguely knew about each other but she was trying to figure out how many lovers I had been with over the years. Of the unpaid ones, I would really have to think about it and wrack my brain to try to recall all of them. Other than my blog, I have never kept track of my trysts.

So she would throw out a number of lovers she had been with and chose twenty. When I didn't react by indicating that was slutty behaviour, she was able to deduce that my numbers may have been larger to which I would pass off as a joke saying I didn't get around as much as you think I did. She never let me totally off the hook on it and it was a sort go comic relief between the two of us. Pretty sure it would have been over had I been totally honest with her about the number of trysts paid or not that I have had over the years lol.

superman it's your hobby and yours only so enjoy it. I intend on taking all the great memories of all the women I have had the pleasure of being with to my grave. Pretty sure I will have a big smile on my face too!