What's your story for seeing an SP or being in this hobby?

[Kissmepassionately]

Bro, she doesn't love you. She's just using you, taking advantage of your kindness. Yes in a functional relationship you do all those things too, but in exchange you should receive unconditional love and affections from your partner. If she doesn't do that, then she's keeping you around only because you take care of her, but not because she loves you.

This is brutal man, it's like the ultimate friendzone. Get outta there my man. Hope you find someone who appreciates you very soon

I'm new here, and don't know you, or your situation, so hoping this isn't crossing the line to say. But I agree with BigRawd, she is treating you with zero respect, and you deserve much better. Being single, is a lot better than in a relationship without love, kindness, and respect. I treat my doormat, better than she is treating you.

 

[Corym]

have you considered...leaving?

We talked about it but with the current situation she would't be able to support herself.

 

[ExpCharlee]

We talked about it but with the current situation she would't be able to support herself.

Sounds like a “her” problem 🤔

 

[Corym]

I'm new here, and don't know you, or your situation, so hoping this isn't crossing the line to say. But I agree with BigRawd, she is treating you with zero respect, and you deserve much better. Being single, is a lot better than in a relationship without love, kindness, and respect. I treat my doormat, better than she is treating you.

No worries, I truly welcome your comments and value your suggestions.

 

[Corym]

Tell her you are going to start looking for a girlfriend and get yourself out there on some of the dating sites.

That would be an interesting conversation, the interesting part is we don't fight, I guess that is a small blessing.

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

@Corym one last piece of advice that I think might make you feel better soon: while you are on the quest to find love, ditch her right now and get yourself a good sugar baby instead.

I said that because, 1. It might take a while for you to find love, and if you don't want to feel lonely in the meantime, a good sugar baby is going to make up for the lack of affections in your life.

2. According to what you have described, you pay bills and take care of her, and she doesn't want to give you affections, it almost sounds like she is your sugar baby who is not doing her job. She is not your partner, wife, girlfriend whatever, you are paying her bills and feeding her, she's like your sugar baby already, but she's not performing her duties as a sugar baby. If you don't want to change the way you live your life way too soon and drastic, find a sugar baby who you can continue giving your affections to, but she will appreciate it.

Until you meet someone who loves you for you, and this time it will be easier to end your relationship with your sugar baby, because it is an arrangement.

Your current relationship is my worst nightmare, because I also tend to care too much for women I love or catch feelings for, well, used to. Now I have awaken, and your situation is why I am not trying to get into relationships and be trapped and used in it.

All the best bro

 

[Corym]

Sounds like a “her” problem 🤔

Well, I would kiss half of my assets goodbye and worked too hard and long to have a comfortable life.

 

[ExpCharlee]

Well, I would kiss half of my assets goodbye and worked too hard and long to have a comfortable life.

Ok next best thing: come see me. I’m cheaper than a divorce.

 

[Corym]

@Corym one last piece of advice that I think might make you feel better soon: while you are on the quest to find love, ditch her right now and get yourself a good sugar baby instead.

I said that because, 1. It might take a while for you to find love, and if you don't want to feel lonely in the meantime, a good sugar baby is going to make up for the lack of affections in your life.

2. According to what you have described, you pay bills and take care of her, and she doesn't want to give you affections, it almost sounds like she is your sugar baby who is not doing her job. She is not your partner, wife, girlfriend whatever, you are paying her bills and feeding her, she's like your sugar baby already, but she's not performing her duties as a sugar baby. If you don't want to change the way you live your life way too soon and drastic, find a sugar baby who you can continue giving your affections to, but she will appreciate it.

Until you meet someone who loves you for you, and this time it will be easier to end your relationship with your sugar baby, because it is an arrangement.

Your current relationship is my worst nightmare, because I also tend to care too much for women I love or catch feelings for, well, used to. Now I have awaken, and your situation is why I am not trying to get into relationships and be trapped and used in it.

All the best bro

Thank-you, virtual handshake!!!

 

[lukom]

No worries, I truly welcome your comments and value your suggestions.

I apologize if I'm overstepping any boundaries, but you gave a list of things you do, which is fine, but what does your partner bring to the table? You don't have to answer this here, but if you are seemingly doing everything and you have a partner who isn't bringing in anything (nevermind the sex) then you could be with a free loader. The lack of sex would be the least of my concerns in such a situation, you may be with someone who is asexual and isn't aware of It, you may even be with someone who is experiencing stress and depression connected to the pandemic (which can kill the libido). However, if this has always been the case, and you seem that find yourself doing everything for someone who brings nothing to the table, your problems may be bigger than sex here. Tell her you want to give this relationship a better chance and that you'd like to see things improve and ask her what you can do to make things better for her, and also tell her you'd like for the two of you to get therapy together to fix things cause you fear that your relationship is on its last thread. I feel like if the tables were turned youd be dealing with daily accusations of cheating, or being given an ultimatum that either things change or she's out. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[WMD0991]

For me, I’ve been single my whole life, and not for lack of trying, but possibly due to my mild autism, self consciousness, self esteem issues, and self sabotage. I moved to a new city and a new province almost against my will, then I lost my job of two years, then Covid hit and virtually killed what little social life I had. I got another job, but I was still depressed and not connecting with anyone, then I lost that one. I was just feeling so depressed and desperate for human connection. I went to see one SP, and she was a really good provider with a nice apartment and a cute dog, but it just felt so rehearsed and not quite the girlfriend experience that I was looking for, and I don’t know if it was due to my inexperience or not. The second one I went to had a smaller, older apartment, but our connection felt so real and genuine, and I even was able to please her, and it felt just like going to visit a real life girlfriend. It was really therapeutic and it made me feel so much better. Unfortunately, I’m running out of money fast and no job will take me, so I won’t be able to see her or anyone else again for a while.

 

[Corym]

t

Ok next best thing: come see me. Lol

That would be phenomenal and may reach out to you ;-)

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

Thank-you, virtual handshake!!!

Two more comments before I dip:

"It is not worth it to hang on to half your assets and a crappy relationship and sacrifice your happiness."

- That's my opinion. Yes it's not an easy decision, but for all of us who are already paying money for sex, I think we should all understand the value of affections and freedom is way more important than financial assets.

"You said that you don't fight. That's not a good thing. And you don't fight because she is avoiding fighting with you. She's afraid that if she have a fight with you, you will leave her, and she will not have you to abuse anymore. So it is not a good thing you don't fight, have the fight, break up and start your life anew."

All the best bro.

 

[Corym]

I apologize if I'm overstepping any boundaries, but you gave a list of things you do, which is fine, but what does your partner bring to the table? You don't have to answer this here, but if you are seemingly doing everything and you have a partner who isn't bringing in anything (nevermind the sex) then you could be with a free loader. The lack of sex would be the least of my concerns in such a situation, you may be with someone who is asexual and isn't aware of It, you may even be with someone who is experiencing stress and depression connected to the pandemic (which can kill the libido). However, if this has always been the case, and you seem that find yourself doing everything for someone who brings nothing to the table, your problems may be bigger than sex here. Tell her you want to give this relationship a better chance and that you'd like to see things improve and ask her what you can do to make things better for her, and also tell her you'd like for the two of you to get therapy together to fix things cause you fear that your relationship is on its last thread. I feel like if the tables were turned youd be dealing with daily accusations of cheating, or being given an ultimatum that either things change or she's out. I hope things get better for you soon.

This had been percolating for many years, it would be easier to raise a sunken ship then rescue this.

 

[Corym]

Thank-you all for your replies.

It means alot to me, sorry I didn't mean to hijack this thread on my situation.

I needed to write and share my feelings for why this hobby.

Corym

 

[masterpoonhunter]

One more chiming in on the thread.

This post hits a note with my 2nd marriage, as the wheels were coming off ... which was a prolonged painful as glass shards in my scrotum affair ... but I digress.

She contributed to the 'partnership' and we or at least I did not get into "well I did this and you didn't do that" kind of thing. Although I wanted to oft times. So I viewed it as there was a 'we' and we were doing what any marital partners should do. Except as the time went on and the distance got greater between what she seemed to want and what I wanted, the same conversation kept coming up like a rinse repeat cycle that was not stopping. Yeah there was therapy and books and attempts but all that faded too.

It really got down to the fact I realized I didn't like her and I was just too tired of trying to save it. And I was too tired of being lonely together, enjoyed being lonely alone much better. Thankfully the kids were all out of the house by then but any marriage breakdown will affect the kids, no matter the circumstances, something I still feel badly about.

When it was obvious this was going to hell in a hand basket, I made a bunch of personal moves, for me. My health, my peace of mind. Pretty much put my affairs in order. And I moved my Scotch collection over to my buddy's wood working shop and stacked it all up beside some of this gorgeous live edge wood he had waiting for yet another cool project. And my records too I mean I go back to .... well lets say I have a legacy vinyl collection. Point is I knew it was going to all come down to the big D so I did as much as I could to protect me before it all happened.

But back to the equality of the partnership - keep in mind there are two sides to every story so a good question to present to her is along the lines of "I would like to understand what you feel you bring to our relationship?". At that point you then only after she answers, do you get to tell her how the arrangement makes you feel. it also is the time to ask if she even likes you ...

Just be prepared though as it is likely you will join the ranks of the 60+% or is it more, of us who have been around the horn in the marriage game and said "I'm done".

Do take care of you.
Do what you can to get the stress down.
If you are not, get into a regular exercise routine, even if its a daily walk.
Eat more plants than animals, eat a bit less. Make it something you enjoy.
Dust off the old records or for you young folks, your favorite steams and listen to your favorite tunes. Sing along, dance, fuck what the neighbours think.
And sleep for god sake sleep, even if you have to a prescription.

And that's about it from me,
Good luck.

 

[Kikoolol]

@Corym one last piece of advice that I think might make you feel better soon: while you are on the quest to find love, ditch her right now and get yourself a good sugar baby instead.

I said that because, 1. It might take a while for you to find love, and if you don't want to feel lonely in the meantime, a good sugar baby is going to make up for the lack of affections in your life.

2. According to what you have described, you pay bills and take care of her, and she doesn't want to give you affections, it almost sounds like she is your sugar baby who is not doing her job. She is not your partner, wife, girlfriend whatever, you are paying her bills and feeding her, she's like your sugar baby already, but she's not performing her duties as a sugar baby. If you don't want to change the way you live your life way too soon and drastic, find a sugar baby who you can continue giving your affections to, but she will appreciate it.

Until you meet someone who loves you for you, and this time it will be easier to end your relationship with your sugar baby, because it is an arrangement.

Your current relationship is my worst nightmare, because I also tend to care too much for women I love or catch feelings for, well, used to. Now I have awaken, and your situation is why I am not trying to get into relationships and be trapped and used in it.

All the best bro

What do you earn by spamming that referral link?

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

What do you earn by spamming that referral link?

I did not. When you type "sugar baby" it becomes referral links automatically when you publish your comment. Try to learn how this forum works before posting idiotic comments like this and making a fool of yourself. Thanks

 

[lukom]

This had been percolating for many years, it would be easier to raise a sunken ship then rescue this.

I'm sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Since things have gone this way, why not just bluntly ask your s/o to make your marriage/relationship into an open relationship? You each do your thing and come back to eachother end of the day.

 

[ExpCharlee]

I'm sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Since things have gone this way, why not just bluntly ask your s/o to make your marriage/relationship into an open relationship? You each do your thing and come back to eachother end of the day.

yesssssss. I have several clients who have worked this out with their wives. I actually know a few couples who have been helped by the husband seeing me--turns out it turned their wife on. My dream is to work with a couple on their sex life and to rediscover each other.