First time I tried picking up a hooker, I had zero clues it was a dude until I started driving away. I asked to touch her tits, she said ya in a lower voice and it felt like balloons from outside clothing. Lol. I then asked the question, "Do you have a dick?" "Yes". Game, Set, Match for me. Nothing against that but I'm not interested. She was pretty good about the misunderstanding. No harm, no foul.
What's the funniest thing that happened with a SP?
- Thread starter Big Dick Bob
- Start date
Did you meet her in a club down in old Soho?
Went to hang up my coat and grab a hanger from SPs closet, and accidentally broke no less than 3 of her hangers. I felt like Mr. Bean. So embarrassing.
Late 80s.. I pick up my regular SP in the DTES. We go for dinner at our favorite... Then we usually go park my van under a bright street light, and climb in the back. The blacked out porthole windows work well under bright lights.... but this evening at her request we go park in the loading bay of some industrial shop. She says its her favorite spot. 15 min go by and we are well into it....flashlight shines in the front window, then through the porthole. Then banging on the side door. We both freeze. I peek between the drapes out the back window. A cop car. He is persistent. She puts her sweater back on and opens the sliding door. The cop says, Oh its you... "OK carry on, just don't dump the condom here." She tells me... its ok, this cop is a friend of her Dad. We both have a good chuckle and we carry on. I chucked the rubber out on the way home.
I didn't get the reverse shocker if that's what you mean.Did you meet her in a club down in old Soho?
Dam, imagine getting the anal trick. She bends over straight away and you rip in from behind, your about to blow so you flip her around for ass to mouth only to see the big cock flog on the turn. I think I'd fall into a coma.
Pull up a chair, this one is pretty bad. I was with this super hot SP in Vegas. Started in with the doggy until I noticed something strange down under, not good. Unfortunately it looked like I checked into the red roof at the inn and the painters were still there.
What started out as a sensual romantic night of fornication, quickly turned into a horrific episode of shark week. She burst out of the room leaving me with residual blob and a pair of blue balls.
Looked like a murder scene, my dick was the sword. Sounds a little more cool like that but I did feel bad for the girl. No refund. Just washed up and jerked off on my own later on.
What started out as a sensual romantic night of fornication, quickly turned into a horrific episode of shark week. She burst out of the room leaving me with residual blob and a pair of blue balls.
Looked like a murder scene, my dick was the sword. Sounds a little more cool like that but I did feel bad for the girl. No refund. Just washed up and jerked off on my own later on.
Smoked a joint with a SP and when we got down to business dropped a big gloop of hand sanitizer right in the Pink. Yeoweeeeee, that’s the wrong bottle, she was a trooper hopped around for a few minutes digging it out, I was horrified! A bit of blowing on it and the real lube cooled it off and we managed to do the deed, she was a real trooper and I gave her a nice tip. Been very careful looking at labels since, on the bright side she was clean as a whistle!
Forgot to bring my massage oil.....asked he if 10W30 engine oil would work...she politely decline....
I knew her parents. And when she was 3 years old she was the flower girl at a friend’s wedding
you did NOT go through with it. Ew, that's so disgusting. Feels almost like grooming.
I have a fountain in my bedroom that adds a nice calming ambience. I had a duo with a provider and while the guy was in the shower, she confided she was incredibly nervous. I tried to break the ice by mentioning that every time she feels anxious she should just remember that my fountain just sounds like a dude taking a long, endless piss. Pretty sure she hates me now.
Maybe a decade ago in Victoria an incall, the SP fell asleep on top of me.
I know I may be boring but what do I do? Moved my body a bit hoping to wake her. Didn't work.... patiently tried to wait maybe 15 min...gee does sleep time count in an hour session? Finally, she woke up and just left the room. OK now, what? I think I just got dressed and left.
I know I may be boring but what do I do? Moved my body a bit hoping to wake her. Didn't work.... patiently tried to wait maybe 15 min...gee does sleep time count in an hour session? Finally, she woke up and just left the room. OK now, what? I think I just got dressed and left.
How is it grooming, he was her client, not her pimp. As long as she was legal age and consented, that's all that matters. Isn't it quite common for SPs to get clients who are old enough to be their father? And I've read other posts here that other pooners and SPs have opened the door to find out they know each other. Sometimes people go through with it, sometimes they dont. Whatever the decision made, it's made between consenting adults. So I don't see what the problem is.
8 or so years back maybe my fav SP welcomed me for our first time. I had asked if I could bring her something, chocolate, wine, you know, being the gent I am. Wine was selected. She greeted me at the door said DFK'd me said I am so horny and it WAS ON. String of clothes from door to bedroom and as I did some kind of a turn I was not supposed to, the two really nice, I think vintage wine glasses she had so carefully placed on the bedside table, hit the floor and without breaking a sweat she said, don't sweat it, those were my grannies glasses and I never liked them! Well it was funny at the time as we swept, vacuumed and wiped up both buck naked, which I believe launched my main fetish of banging the cleaning lady!
if you've known someone since they were very young and watched them grow up I feel like there's a gross power dynamic there.
Yeah but the taboo aspect of it can make it irresistibly hot and cause a major eruption!
This was 2008. An SP who worked out of a complex without a buzzer told me she was coming down. It was my first time meeting her and she advertised as brunette. A blonde girl (who looker nothing like the pics) came down to let me in, but thought "okay she's still cute" and decided to go along with it. We introduced ourselves and we made small chit chat waiting for the elevator, then suddenly the elevator opens and out comes a brunette girl looking more like the girl from the pics. I look behind to where the entrance was and saw someone waiting outside texting on his phone. The girl who let me in looked at me confused, "Wait are you not here for the Craigslist ad?" I was like, "Yes, are you not *so and so*? And in the meantime the guy at the door was confused as he was let in by the girl who came out of the elevator. The brunette turns to me at the same time and goes, "I think you're here for me.." and the guy who was let in, goes "I'm here for a tv stand." The blonde who let me in goes, "I'm selling the tv stand". Anyhow I stood back awkwardly with the sp as they were discussing the price and we let them take the elevator and the sp and I agreed to take the stairs. It was a random coincidence and not sure how that would have turned out for either myself or the guy if we continued with the wrong girl lol
