Putting myself in male shoes, I think the fear would be the fact that a SP is genereally able to separate her emotions from sexual activity due to work. This would instill fear in me because quite often, SPs are working undercover - family and most friends don't have a clue at all. I would be afraid that she would have the brains to hide things from me very well. I'm not saying that SPs are not able to be in a genuine committed relationship, but that's what I'm thinking men would fear. Feel free to comment cause since I have tits, I don't really know what you men are thinking!
What r u thinking????
- Thread starter VanIsland Lisa
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If a guy is in a relationship with an SP and knows what she does as "work", then I think its unfair to call her "work", cheating. I know everyone is different, but that's my perspective. In any relationship you need to know what you are comfortable with and to know the comfort zone of your partner. If you can't live with each other's comfort zones around what is ok and what is not, it probably won't be a relationship that lasts.
I agree 100% with VicGFELover. My bf knows what I do (and has known from day 1). He took it quite well. He's one of the few guys that I have met (not saying there's so few out there, but I dunno where they've all been hiding) that didn't choose to remain friends, or lose touch with me altogether. In fact, he looked me straight in the eyes with little hesitation between me telling him and him replying. He said that he liked me for who I was and what I do for work will never change that. And I believe him with all my being because he has never once done anything to indicate otherwise. No passive aggressive, no half-jesting comments, nothing. If he knows and chooses to continue with the relationship with the SP, its not cheating. Partly because he's obviously ok with it, and partly because its a job - a service rendered in exchange for cash. So its not a "free pass". Anyone who disagrees is more than welcome to do so. This is my personal opinion on the matter, and it reflects my personal experiences on the matter. As for men cheating on women.... if I were a guy, it may be appropriate for me to answer, but, alas, I am not.
Whoaaa! Silkrose & DaddysLilGirl, very insightful, and most of all, intense, intimate, and powerful statements. Thank you. Sunset, as I guy, I understand somewhat as to where you're coming from but you and I will never, ever, understand it from their perspective. All I can add is:
If I'm "with" someone, I'm with them and wouldn't even consider being with anybody else including a SP. BUT, and a very big BUT, every time I've been involved with a girl, after XX amount of time, I get tired of banging her and fantasize about banging another woman while doing her, just to get my rocks off. Cheating? I think so and I've felt guilty practically every single time, with the times I didn't being when I knew it was really over. Anyway, is this just a guy thing? Do women do the same thing?
Could I date a current or former SP? I don't think I'm man enough to do that. I could emotional and psychologically be there but physically not. This is definitely a guy thing but I couldn't knowingly be with someone who had been with multiple sex partners regardless of how many I've been with. I know it's wrong but generally I think guys do feel this way. Pretty fucked eh?
If I'm "with" someone, I'm with them and wouldn't even consider being with anybody else including a SP. BUT, and a very big BUT, every time I've been involved with a girl, after XX amount of time, I get tired of banging her and fantasize about banging another woman while doing her, just to get my rocks off. Cheating? I think so and I've felt guilty practically every single time, with the times I didn't being when I knew it was really over. Anyway, is this just a guy thing? Do women do the same thing?
Could I date a current or former SP? I don't think I'm man enough to do that. I could emotional and psychologically be there but physically not. This is definitely a guy thing but I couldn't knowingly be with someone who had been with multiple sex partners regardless of how many I've been with. I know it's wrong but generally I think guys do feel this way. Pretty fucked eh?
Thanks everybody for shedding a few rays of light on this. It seems to me that men are actually more like women than I had thought. Sunset I hope you are the one that's right about this stuff. And LG old buddy I'm sorry you were cheated on too cause I can totally tell. Here's another question for you;
When you've been in a relationship for a long time & you get bored/unattracted, can that be fixed? Can you refall in love with a person? Let's say both people want to but now there's mistrust because of the cheating. And let's say the cheating was caused (the girl thinks) because she was neglecting her man. And it's nothing to do with SP's just any two people? Can youfix it without 20years of therapy? How? And no people, this is NOT about me!
But it has been and if could be cause it happens to most of us right?
So basically Should a cheater be forgiven?(under these circumstances) And is there such a thing as refalling in love?
When you've been in a relationship for a long time & you get bored/unattracted, can that be fixed? Can you refall in love with a person? Let's say both people want to but now there's mistrust because of the cheating. And let's say the cheating was caused (the girl thinks) because she was neglecting her man. And it's nothing to do with SP's just any two people? Can youfix it without 20years of therapy? How? And no people, this is NOT about me!
But it has been and if could be cause it happens to most of us right?So basically Should a cheater be forgiven?(under these circumstances) And is there such a thing as refalling in love?
My .02 cents? People grow and change and sometimes that growth and change results in the other person just not being what you want anymore ... you hope that those changes are positive, but sometimes they are not.
some people do recover from cheating, others don't. yes, i have been cheated on and have two rules: I will not cheat on someone and if someone cheats on me its over.
can you be reattracted to someone? why not ... I dated someone when we were in our teens ... then again in our 20's and briefly in our 30's ...
would i be reattracted to someone who cheated on me? no.
can one person be everything to you that you need for the rest of your life? I doubt it ... just look at your own relationship with your parents -- they provide tremendous needs to you in the beginning but that relationship grows and changes (you hope!) and that's no different from two people in a romantic relationship.
sometimes you grow together, sometimes apart.
some people do recover from cheating, others don't. yes, i have been cheated on and have two rules: I will not cheat on someone and if someone cheats on me its over.
can you be reattracted to someone? why not ... I dated someone when we were in our teens ... then again in our 20's and briefly in our 30's ...
would i be reattracted to someone who cheated on me? no.
can one person be everything to you that you need for the rest of your life? I doubt it ... just look at your own relationship with your parents -- they provide tremendous needs to you in the beginning but that relationship grows and changes (you hope!) and that's no different from two people in a romantic relationship.
sometimes you grow together, sometimes apart.
