Tough Choice ??

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
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SO returned from Afghanistan last November. With pre-deployment training she had been gone about a year. Beginning of June she was sent to Wainwright for three months. Got a call today, those three months have now become twelve. So another year away.

So I guess my question is, do I mess about elsewhere this time around or don't I. If I do, do I stay with the pros or do I go free willy and see if I can still charm the ladies?

I behaved myself while she was away in a war zone, but this time around she's not in any danger, plus I'll be in Edmonton in August and September.

Opinions, thoughts whatever ????
 
H

HubbaHubba

So I guess my question is, do I mess about elsewhere this time around or don't I. If I do, do I stay with the pros or do I go free willy and see if I can still charm the ladies?
I'm guessin you will be stayin with the Pros as your willy & your charm won't get you much:p
 

87112

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
3,684
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*&^%
1 year away is hard indeed. 1 month is tough if she is the one, no easy answer but look deep in yourself to see if touching another booty is worth it to your conscious ( spell).
 

vancity_cowboy

hard riding member
Jan 27, 2008
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on yer ignore list
how 'significant' is the 'S'?

she seems to be on a valid career track, how important is that to you?

reverse the situation... what would you want her to be doing?

questions to ask yourself and honestly answer
 

sureshot

Member
Mar 17, 2010
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Weeeell, as someone who has been on the other side of this particular fence, and been deployed overseas on military duty for long periods, I'd normally say don't fuck around. It's hard enough being away from home without thinking your partner may be screwing around.

Thing is though, while I was on these deployments I was fucking around, so I don't really have the moral high ground. I'm going to shut up now.
 

JFF009

Member
Oct 18, 2007
315
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So I guess my question is, do I mess about elsewhere this time around or don't I. If I do, do I stay with the pros or do I go free willy and see if I can still charm the ladies?
If I'm reading correctly the decision to play or not to play has already been made. If that's the case then all that's left is do you sleep with pros or non-pros.

Personally I would recommend pros because if your SO is important to you in any way you would likely prefer to avoid anything that may come with feelings. Stick with the pros because they don't want you for more than the hour or so that you book with them. Stay away from the emotional baggage of a non-pro.
 

wilde

Sinnear Member
Jun 4, 2003
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I behaved myself while she was away in a war zone, but this time around she's not in any danger, plus I'll be in Edmonton in August and September.
If you are going to stray or not, why does it matter whether your SO is in danger or not? Sounds like an excuse to me.
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
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I'm guessin you will be stayin with the Pros as your willy & your charm won't get you much:p
Willy and charm would probably get me me ITB & LAG, but I'll be damned if I'll settle for your sloppy seconds.

Hmmm, Wainwright you say....well since you're behaving yourself... :p ;) :rolleyes:
I know it's close to home for you, but if you're thinking about dropping by to see if she's behaving, remember I'm in Edmonton in August.

When you met her, did you realize she'd be gone for long periods of time? If she's a serious SO and you knew this beforehand, you accepted that as the reality. It's like a woman marrying a truck driver and then saying "honey you're not home enough". Sorry you married a truck driver so accept the reality.

There's always the option to move to Alberta. I'm guessing your in BC..Edmonton isn't the worlds best town but it does have opportunities. In the end dude, a good chick is hard to find.
She wasn't in the military when we met, it was a late in life choice she made, one that I encouraged so I did know where it could lead. Just like when I encouraged her to go to Afghanistan.
Moving to Alberta isn't an option. I've got two businesses on the go here, one of which I could turn over to a manager, but the other is one that requires my being here.

Hi Uncleg:

Thought I give you from a womans' point fo few..not just the men. I was in a relationship for 10 years a military man. He was gone all the time, it was lonely, however if I am in a relationship it is all about that one man, I am devoted and stick to him myself I would never thinking of seeking elsewhere (that is what toys are for) But yes the intamacy as in sharing, cuddling, having someone there..it does get lonely. I have been single now for sometime.
So my question is...how serious is this relationship? How much does she mean to you? Are you willing to risk or if she were to find out would she forgive? Look at yourself your morals values. Would you feel guilty...myself I would.. But I don't know you. I would if I were her and in a serious relationship and I was deployed..would hope that man is faithful while I am gone.
In closing here to my opinion...do see alot of married men from all ages they are missing the "action" in their relationship..some wives know some don't I see when I talk to them they truly do love there families and wives but that one important thing that does make a relationship complete is no longer there, so that is why they seek out. Make sence and sorry for rambling on here. Hope this helps
Look from inside you and your gut. I wish you the best and hope you make the right chopice for you and your SO.
Appreciate your view and it makes sense, It's always said that men and women are wired differently as far as relationships are concerned. For me this isn't a moral issue as much as a matter of loyalty to an individual. I'd hate to think she was messing around, but under some circumstance I could/would understand if she did. Her on the other hand, couldn't, wouldn't it would totally
devastate her. Not that I'm anything special, but I am to her. You'd have to know her to really understand. By the way, have you been in touch with LAG, he also keeps making references to my gut. I'm working on it, so soon you'll be able to stop, I've already had to resign from the dicky do club.

If I'm reading correctly the decision to play or not to play has already been made. If that's the case then all that's left is do you sleep with pros or non-pros.

Personally I would recommend pros because if your SO is important to you in any way you would likely prefer to avoid anything that may come with feelings. Stick with the pros because they don't want you for more than the hour or so that you book with them. Stay away from the emotional baggage of a non-pro.
No decision has been made, and it not like my life revolves around sex. Though, I do agree you want to avoid emotional baggage.

If you are going to stray or not, why does it matter whether your SO is in danger or not? Sounds like an excuse to me.
It would sound like an excuse to you wouldn't it. Maybe when you grow up a bit and get into a relationship you'll be able to understand the difference.
I encouraged her to go to Afghanistan, to put her life in danger. Having the padre come to the door to tell you your SO got killed when you're humping somebody else is not something I'd want to deal with.
 

wilde

Sinnear Member
Jun 4, 2003
3,041
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48
It would sound like an excuse to you wouldn't it. Maybe when you grow up a bit and get into a relationship you'll be able to understand the difference.
I encouraged her to go to Afghanistan, to put her life in danger. Having the padre come to the door to tell you your SO got killed when you're humping somebody else is not something I'd want to deal with.
The difference between what exactly? And spare me the wiseman attitude.
 

JFF009

Member
Oct 18, 2007
315
6
18
Having the padre come to the door to tell you your SO got killed when you're humping somebody else is not something I'd want to deal with.
Would it somehow be easier to deal with if you weren't humping someone else?

If so, then stop humping other people. If not, then carry on.
 

huggzy

Banned
May 30, 2010
616
3
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Appreciate your view and it makes sense, It's always said that men and women are wired differently as far as relationships are concerned. For me this isn't a moral issue as much as a matter of loyalty to an individual. I'd hate to think she was messing around, but under some circumstance I could/would understand if she did. Her on the other hand, couldn't, wouldn't it would totally devastate her.
How much do you love her?

The question you should be asking isn't related to what might happen to you if you get caught. That would be the selfish man's perspective.

The real question you should be asking yourself is,

"do I love her enough where I could never risk bringing her to a point of being devasted?"

If you can risk hurting her like that...that gives you a little insight and perspective about where you truly are in that relationship.
 
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