1. The hot new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too. I invited her over for dinner on Tuesday.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. No, no, don't change. I think it's cool when you wear sweatpants to a nice restaurant.
4. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
5. Do me a favor, forget that whole "Valentine's Day" thing and just go get yourself some of those expensive cigars you like.
6. I'll be out painting the house.
7. God you're sexy when you're hung over!
8. I think it's probably the fuel injector.
9. I got you a subscription to Hustler.
10. Bar food again? Kick ass!
Top 10 Things you don't want to hear during surgery
1. The watchamacallit is making that noise again.
2. I guess we should have checked to make sure the donor organ arrived before we started the transplant.
3. Scapel. No not that one, I need the curvy one.
4. Hey doc, isn't this the guy that arrested your wife?
5. What the hell did I do with that spleen?
6. I wouldn't worry about it Dr. Harris. People are like cars...lots of exrtra parts.
7. Well what if he does find out we left the clamp in?
8. The back-up generators should kick in any minute now.
9. More tequilla shooters, stat!
10. The shin bones connected to the leg bone, but what is the leg bone connected to? I knew I should have memorized that song.
Top 10 Ways to tell you're spending too much time on-line
1. You call your kids "What’s his face and the other one."
2. You’re skipping car payments to cover bills from AOL.
3. You’ve been to every web site on earth, twice.
4. You created a home page for your favorite shirt.
5. You get personal "Thank You" notes from Bill Gates.
6. You’ve got 54 hot and heavy romances going at once in chat rooms at federal prisons.
7. You have a Kevlar mouse pad.
8. Your modem melted.
9. When the guys ask you if you to "come out for a beer" you have no idea what they’re talking about.
10. You don't even look at TV anymore
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. No, no, don't change. I think it's cool when you wear sweatpants to a nice restaurant.
4. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
5. Do me a favor, forget that whole "Valentine's Day" thing and just go get yourself some of those expensive cigars you like.
6. I'll be out painting the house.
7. God you're sexy when you're hung over!
8. I think it's probably the fuel injector.
9. I got you a subscription to Hustler.
10. Bar food again? Kick ass!
Top 10 Things you don't want to hear during surgery
1. The watchamacallit is making that noise again.
2. I guess we should have checked to make sure the donor organ arrived before we started the transplant.
3. Scapel. No not that one, I need the curvy one.
4. Hey doc, isn't this the guy that arrested your wife?
5. What the hell did I do with that spleen?
6. I wouldn't worry about it Dr. Harris. People are like cars...lots of exrtra parts.
7. Well what if he does find out we left the clamp in?
8. The back-up generators should kick in any minute now.
9. More tequilla shooters, stat!
10. The shin bones connected to the leg bone, but what is the leg bone connected to? I knew I should have memorized that song.
Top 10 Ways to tell you're spending too much time on-line
1. You call your kids "What’s his face and the other one."
2. You’re skipping car payments to cover bills from AOL.
3. You’ve been to every web site on earth, twice.
4. You created a home page for your favorite shirt.
5. You get personal "Thank You" notes from Bill Gates.
6. You’ve got 54 hot and heavy romances going at once in chat rooms at federal prisons.
7. You have a Kevlar mouse pad.
8. Your modem melted.
9. When the guys ask you if you to "come out for a beer" you have no idea what they’re talking about.
10. You don't even look at TV anymore
