Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober
It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!
You’re almost as good as my ex!
Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
And to think, I didn’t even have to buy you dinner!
I’ll tell you who I’m fanatasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about…
You could at least ACT like you’re enjoying it!
I’ve slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
Long kisses clog my sinuses…
How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
"High five!"
"Oh, Ryan Gosling, yes!"
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........
And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend!
What’s your name again?
A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!
I knew you wore a padded bra!!
God, that is small!!
Is it o.k. if my mom (and/or dad) joins in?
I have to take a shit.
Its ok honey, I can imagine that its bigger.
By the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog….
Oh Susan, Susan… I mean donna…. shit.
Your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
Suck my dick, bitch.
How come we each have a penis?
Of course you can’t be on top, you’re too fat, you’ll kill me!
Just use your finger, its bigger.
This is my pet rat, Larry….
You wanted me to use a condom?
You’re no better than my brother!!
