The feeling of being desired

[dchoye]

In my early virgin days. As long as my dick is sucked and my cock is in a pussy I felt “desired”
However After several hundreds times with different providers it’s natural to want more because it’s not special anymore
Maybe scale down the hobby or choose a favorite provider to see more often
I promise you as long as you are a gentleman, repeat visits generally leads to better service and attitude
She appreciates it and will show you more genuine affection
Sometimes that all I need to feel more desired

 

[MikeyLikey99]

In my early virgin days. As long as my dick is sucked and my cock is in a pussy I felt “desired”
However After several hundreds times with different providers it’s natural to want more because it’s not special anymore
Maybe scale down the hobby or choose a favorite provider to see more often
I promise you as long as you are a gentleman, repeat visits generally leads to better service and attitude
She appreciates it and will show you more genuine affection
Sometimes that all I need to feel more desired

Yeah, that’s a great suggestion and actually what I’ve been thinking about a bit. Someone I’ve seen twice, and had a good time with both times, just moved into an area that’s fairly handy for me. She interested me in trying role play for our second meeting, which was much more fun than I expected. For me, it added some spice to the experience and made it easy to explore a fantasy without awkwardness. Having another meeting in a week and we’ll see how it goes and how our connection feels. I don’t want a case of the “feels” as it’s labelled here, but would love to have a connection which makes it more comfortable and natural, and as others have commented…that’s one way to build an element of desire into it.

 

[MikeyLikey99]

I don’t want to speak for Punt, but what (I think) he was hinting at is that there are a spectrum of providers. At one end are the Oscar actresses that you seek and at the other end are the jackhammer artists at the standard AMP who have no interest in you aside from what’s in the wallet and have no desire to pretend otherwise.

When a client puts no effort into the engagement, is not high on the looks scale or has poor hygiene (I’m not suggesting the OP is any of these) then the number of providers who can fake the desire are few indeed. I’ve found that when I’m engaging, complementary of an SP’s virtues, kind and respectful, the SP has more desire for me. As clients, the worst name tag you can hang on a provider (on this forum at least, excluding scam artist) is being a starfish. So what is a male starfish but a client who puts no effort into the engagement and expects to be desired. It’s a Quixotic enterprise if there ever was one. It seems to me, the more effort you put in, the more likely you are to be desired (or fake desired).

Again, I’m not saying this is the OP, and not am I trying to pick a fight - just merely trying to make some sense of the question posed.

Thanks VinVan for that. Very diplomatic. I do take your and Punt’s point. If one puts zero effort into an experience, one can’t expect to get 100% out of it. And, despite my question making it seem like I might not be bothered with trying much, I do work at it. Of course, it improved as I had some more experiences. In the beginning, I was pretty nervous just heading over and practically shaking when the door opened. Conversation wasn’t my strong suit but I sure scrubbed up a storm in the shower (if you’d been to Charlee’s place, that would make a bit more sense). I was wrapped up in anxious anticipation and didn’t prepare for the personal connection part of it.
Being more comfortable now, I usually bring something (chocolates, fruit or flowers, etc depending on what I might have spotted on their Twitter or their website). Impeccable hygiene of course. Easy conversation and maybe a joke.

With inflation sky high, expenses way up, and my income being relatively unchanged, I haven’t been able to visit the ladies as much as I would’ve liked this year.

But regardless of what I put in, so to speak, some ladies are more into building connections than others, and/or they are actresses worthy of Oscar credit. Those are the ones I’d like to meet. Do you think those are the names that people are least keen to drop? I dunno 🤷‍♂️

 

[VinVan]

You’ve given some thoughtful insight into your needs, but haven’t told us about your budget. Money doesn’t solve all problems, but it may help with suggestions if we know what your spend is…

 

[Crookedmember]

It used to be mechanical service was perfectly fine.

Then along came ubiquitous internet porn that desensitized us.

Now we expect the ladies to be nothing less than porn stars.

 

[blakealridge]

It used to be mechanical service was perfectly fine.

Then along came ubiquitous internet porn that desensitized us.

Now we expect the ladies to be nothing less than porn stars.

Maybe some of you do but a lot of you don’t

 

[bigballs55]

The feeling of being desired for me comes from my own attitude. I like a lot of us are not male models, however, if you go into the situation with confidence and a positive attitude I find that this creates an atmosphere that in some way makes me attractive to be with. Most people want to be in the room with the life of the party so I figure just exude that positive energy and see where it goes. In most cases my partner responds in a way that makes the resulting time together fun for both of us.

Just keep it light and fun and be upbeat and engaging. I also firmly believe once you find the chemistry with someone keep going back because it only gets better. And the most critical thing is to select your partner wisely. Do your homework. Some people should not be in this industry and no amount of positive attitude on your part will make things better.

 

[MikeyLikey99]

It used to be mechanical service was perfectly fine.

Then along came ubiquitous internet porn that desensitized us.

Now we expect the ladies to be nothing less than porn stars.

Definitely not what I’m looking for. All the acrobatics and screaming and moaning… i’m too old for that shit. lol

 

[MikeyLikey99]

You’ve given some thoughtful insight into your needs, but haven’t told us about your budget. Money doesn’t solve all problems, but it may help with suggestions if we know what your spend is…

Good point. I almost always go with 90 minute sessions, so there is time for chatting and building intimacy/connection, with a max budget of 650. A number of the ladies that I saw last year that fit in my budget has dropped a lot this year.

 

[wincity23]

I've made great connections with 2 SP's. Longer appointments help me do that (2-3 hrs)-not saying that's for everyone. I want it to feel just like a date. The comfort level increases that perceived level of desire, for me anyways. But more to the OP's original post, there is one time when i truly felt that and it was with a non FS SP who asked me if it was ok to go full service. For whatever the reason was for her-that made me feel desired a lot.

 

[Simarobay]

Whats a "non FS SP"? like a half service girl or a sugar baby?

likely fbsm provider (full body sensual massage) which may or may not include a hand job release.

 

[TallDark&Handsome]

When they provide extras for no additional cost, extend the appointment at no additional cost. Particularly when its the first meeting, then it seems more genuine, and not because I have blown a ton of money on that girl in the past.

when they give you unique compliments, not just the ones you get from every SP..

 

[thicc204]

Maybe some of you do but a lot of you don’t

I see one girl for massages and she just hugs me, squeezes me the right ways. The finish is great too don't get me wrong. But those hugs. Super simple. But so sexy and comforting. And I get hugged alot lmao, it's just so peaceful. (Yes I'm that lame.)

 

[blakealridge]

I see one girl for massages and she just hugs me, squeezes me the right ways. The finish is great too don't get me wrong. But those hugs. Super simple. But so sexy and comforting. And I get hugged alot lmao, it's just so peaceful. (Yes I'm that lame.)

This isn’t lame, we all want to be held and cared for. The vast majority of my sessions include a lot of this. We sell intimacy, which looks a lot of different ways; it can include sex but it isn’t just sex. That’s what GFE is.

 

[MikeyLikey99]

This isn’t lame, we all want to be held and cared for. The vast majority of my sessions include a lot of this. We sell intimacy, which looks a lot of different ways; it can include sex but it isn’t just sex. That’s what GFE is.

Makes total sense. A good hug feels great 😊

 

[WestCoast_Luver41]

what elements are key to making you feel absolutely desired.

Great question as, in my case, I do not book a SW to feel desired (if she does the little usual things to make a man feel desired, I tend to be turned off) but she needs to be professional, friendly and simply doing her SW work well (expressing a high dose of sensuality, being sexy and making love well) for the time I am booking her. That's all I am expecting from her (doing the basic, but doing it well).

 

[Real Sonny Burnett]

 

[westwoody]

After several hundreds times with different providers it’s natural to want more because it’s not special anymore
Maybe scale down the hobby or choose a favorite provider to see more often
I promise you as long as you are a gentleman, repeat visits generally leads to better service and attitude

Exactly.
Don’t let this become a routine. Do it less so every visit is special.
A favourite that you frequent is best, you both build up comfort and sessions get better.
Don’t overthink things. I don’t expect her to run away with me to Tahiti, but I leave happy, she leaves happy, we both got what we want.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Exactly.
Don’t let this become a routine. Do it less so every visit is special.
A favourite that you frequent is best, you both build up comfort and sessions get better.
Don’t overthink things. I don’t expect her to run away with me to Tahiti, but I leave happy, she leaves happy, we both got what we want.

Don't Overthink Things
Rather profound comment fellow pooner!!

 

[mame84]

I may be posting this in the wrong thread, but I think it straddles the line between 411 and the lounge.

Presumably, most of us have seen at least one and, judging from the quantity of reviews posted from some people, perhaps all the way up to hundreds of providers. At one end of the spectrum, you see someone who seems disinterested in you and gives a poor to mediocre mechanical service. At the other end, you walk in the door and are met with someone completely engaged in the moment, clean, subjectively attractive, and very interested in you and exploring whatever floats your boat during your time together.

Since I’m a middle-aged out-of-shape guy, not really conventionally attractive, and usually nervous when meeting, i’m under no illusions that the girls are really attracted to me. The best ones make me question my assumptions giving me a big boost my confidence and mojo. They are masterful at creating the natural feeling that they desire you. For some guys, I’m sure there is a real element of desire from the ladies, due to looks or personality or a connection built up over time. For many of us however, they put on a master class of acting which amazes me when I encounter it. The best make it seem so real.

At this point I have two questions for members (male or female), what elements are key to making you feel absolutely desired. I would also be fascinated to know how providers get into that headspace, and what they think are the keys to making that feeling successful.

My other question, of course, is who among the current Vancouver providers do you recommend for that immersive experience of desire? I’m not really talking about ones that can make you laugh or are good at making you feel comfortable - i’ve had great experiences with ladies like that. I really mean the ones that actively make you feel desired. They want you, want to explore you, and everything flows from that desire.

I'm also a middle aged guy who is in middle aged shape, and I feel my strongest traits are in my ability to communicate and be emotionally available easily.

A lot of what you mention is why I book longer appointments, and do my research as much as possible to see if the person I'm seeing is a match for me. The first time I see someone, we usually talk to form a connection, and go from there. That usually takes up a lot of time so you need 90 minutes or two hours minimum for that. It's nice to find someone that you can connect with that way, because it makes subsequent visits more enjoyable for both of you. At the end of the day, providers are humans with their own things going on, and a little empathy can go a long way.

I'm not sure who to recommend at the moment, as I'm still looking for someone new after my regular person retired. I've met a few incredible providers that I clicked with mentally but not quite physically, but as with all things I think that depends on the person and ymmv. Try doing some research, and making a list, then giving each person a try to see who works best for you.

This isn’t lame, we all want to be held and cared for. The vast majority of my sessions include a lot of this. We sell intimacy, which looks a lot of different ways; it can include sex but it isn’t just sex. That’s what GFE is.

Some of the best experiences I've had were snuggling, laughing and talking about life. I always remember those moments more fondly than the sexual things.