I've always dated submissive girls, not sure if thats by coincidence, or subconscious preference, but it has grown over the years to become a conscious preference. It's one of the things I miss most when I'm away from home, yet it's also one of the few things I've not actively sought out from an SP. I do take note of the ladies who advertise their submissiveness, but I move around often, and poon somewhat infrequently... I just don't have the time to develop the kind of relationship with anyone to make D/s encounters as fun as they could be.
I'm sure I could fairly easily find someone new for an occasional spanking, and I will probably try that out eventually, but the real fun of D/s encounters is getting inside someone's head, and experiencing things through them. (While expressing your creativity

) I find it difficult to do that unless I know a great deal about them.
Anyways, I've been thinking about the prospect of submissives for hire lately, and why there are so few female subs advertising on perb, ers, bp, and the like, yet so very many female dommes… This seems like a good place to post my thoughts on the matter.
...If I look at alt or fet or other rooms that tend to be more male dom-centric, they tend to have live chat, and draw more wankers and people I don't really care to hang with (although I met some cool kinsters through live sites years ago)...
Agreed, though I find that female and male subs also seem to be well represented on most sites. The biggest difference to perb is the sheer amount of female dominants here. In my experience naturally dominant females are a super rare breed, and submissive men are fairly common. With the vast majority of hetero submissive men unable to find a dominant partner naturally, most are going to be forced into the pay to play relationships we have here. That's why the market for female dommes is so good, and why so many sps advertise domme services. I'd be willing to bet that some of the girls offering dominant services aren't turned on by what goes on during their sessions, and wouldn't incorporate these activities into their private sex lives. Not that it matters… as long as the client leaves satisfied, they have done a good job… I'm sure regular SPs aren’t turned on by what goes on in some of their encounters too
It can be very dangerous to allow ourselves to be completely submissive to a stranger (using bondage, gags, whips,pain etc), therefore, to find an attractive/beautiful sub that is "open-minded" is hard to find… (snip) …We develop trusting relationships with our masters in order to be comfortable to allow our limits to be pushed and explore deeper…
I think this is the real key to the advertising demographics. Look at all the risks related to operating as a regular sp, and then imagine your target market is either creatively manipulative, or naturally aggressive, and you are putting yourself in a position where you are either mentally or physically unable to defend yourself. As Angelica says, a lot of it is about pushing boundaries and exploring each other… But, as an SP there are some boundaries that you just can't afford to push. (BBFS, marks, fluid transfers, ect) How many subs will be in the frame of mind in mid session to identify risky behavior and put a stop to it? How many subs actually want to go through a whole session where they are always fully cognizant of what is happening? I've only played as a sub twice in my life, and both times I can assure you that near the end I'd have done things that I'd never consent to otherwise. How do you know you can trust a complete stranger to care for your well being, and not push too far, or take advantage of the situation? The only way I can think of to develop that trust is to, get to know each other on websites like fetlife, or meet as SP/Client and migrate to more kinky endeavors once trust is established; which seems to be how it goes around here.
Domming for dollars just doesn’t have the same inherent safety risks as submission does. Which means dommes are not afraid to advertise their services freely. Since they are always in full control, it would be very odd for a bad client to lead to a dangerous situation. Look at how overzealous some of the male submissives can be in their posts, as a sub these guys are probably great clients, and tons of fun. Imagine if the tables are turned and it’s an unknown Dom coming at you with the same level of excitement. :fear:
Man this ended up being long...