Shined on by provider

[rampart]

There is a well known SP that I have been seeing for the past couple of years. Things clicked right from the start and while we did have fun during out sessions the external experience was totally professional.

I took a bit of a break just because I got super busy and late nights were tough to squeeze in, which were my preferred time for getting together and the SP was more of late night person as well.

Did not see anyone else during the break and then when time came available I contacted said SP and got a message that they were busy with personal matters. I acknowledged the statement and mentioned to contact me when they were available. A week went by and no contact so I sent another text and got a similar reply. However, an hour after my text I noticed this SP had just posted an ad on LL. I let it pass but then texted again a couple of days later when I saw they were adverting again. Sent out a message and the same thing.

When we first met we talked about honesty and I thought it was weird that I was getting shined on and felt that if the SP was honest they would just say they did not want to see me again and good luck in the future.

Anyone else have this type of experience?

 

[Jackity]

There is a well known SP that I have been seeing for the past couple of years. Things clicked right from the start and while we did have fun during out sessions the external experience was totally professional.

I took a bit of a break just because I got super busy and late nights were tough to squeeze in, which were my preferred time for getting together and the SP was more of late night person as well.

Did not see anyone else during the break and then when time came available I contacted said SP and got a message that they were busy with personal matters. I acknowledged the statement and mentioned to contact me when they were available. A week went by and no contact so I sent another text and got a similar reply. However, an hour after my text I noticed this SP had just posted an ad on LL. I let it pass but then texted again a couple of days later when I saw they were adverting again. Sent out a message and the same thing.

When we first met we talked about honesty and I thought it was weird that I was getting shined on and felt that if the SP was honest they would just say they did not want to see me again and good luck in the future.

Anyone else have this type of experience?

move on buddy not worth it

 

[Newuser505]

Take the hint.

A woman can not just reject a man with bluntness, it would be dangerous for them.

 

[Pumped]

Take the hint.

A woman can not just reject a man with bluntness, it would be dangerous for them.

this ...

... and no one owes anyone any closure or explanation or even honesty.

Just suck it up and move on.

 

[PuntMeister]

rampart, I will toss a little love your way…

That sucks dude. As a person, and a repeat client, a little polite response vs. ghosting would be nice.

Aww muffin…that doesn’t feel good.

Now move on, cuz either her ‘personal matters’ are ongoing (at least as it applies to you), maybe she thought you snubbed her when you took a break, perhaps she just doesn’t want to see you, or is too busy/flakey to recall you, or what-Evr.

Perhaps give it a few months—no time to be needy. In your shoes, I’d move along, at least for now. Consider a physical release therapy: punching bag, 1/2 marathon, or whatever causes you to sweat your pores out.

 

[GeeBeeP]

If it helps, tell yourself this even though it’s bullshit in all likelihood.

She doesn’t want to see you now because she was getting too close, she missed you and is afraid she was getting the feels for you. She can’t risk it, you’re too good man. Take the compliment and move on.

 

[rampart]

Have definitely moved on for sure. I guess my dad was right "Don't trust anyone but your mother, and even then be wary".

 

[pooooooootatoman]

If it helps, tell yourself this even though it’s bullshit in all likelihood.

She doesn’t want to see you now because she was getting too close, she missed you and is afraid she was getting the feels for you. She can’t risk it, you’re too good man. Take the compliment and move on.

It could genuinely be something complimentary or really trivial, but you're just never gonna get an answer cos some people react badly/don't take no for an answer (not saying this would be OP).

I read a story on here about someone who got refused cos he looked like the SPs brother

 

[VinVan]

What I’ve learned about this biz is that, like war, truth (and honesty) is the first casualty. In an industry where it is understood that providers obscure their identity for their safety and their clients hide theirs to avoid being scammed, the entire relationship is a house of cards built on a foundation of quicksand. Not to disparage one or the other, but a client don’t owe the SP an explanation for stopping; nor does the SP owe the client one for ghosting.

Humans being the emotional basket cases they are (I include myself in this assessment) get in the way of this tacit understanding. The system would work perfectly if humans didn’t inject their unresolved issues into this set up and gum up the system.

 

[Pumped]

I read a story on here about someone who got refused cos he looked like the SPs brother

Real story: was her brother.

 

[Harmony-bc]

Have definitely moved on for sure. I guess my dad was right "Don't trust anyone but your mother, and even then be wary".

This is really good advice. Even tho somebody said gross. Even parents can make mistakes and have mental health issues. I don’t trust my mother at all hahaha. But I love her and she’s the only one I have and she’s old these days.

I ghosted a client once and then he stalked me because he was worried about me. He’d get other providers to text me. It was bizarre. I had to tell him I didn’t want to see him anymore and a toned down version of why anyways haha. I believe in being kind. So I won’t ghost anybody again as that proved more hassle than just having the awkward conversation. He was a very sweet person but had the worst hygiene and was a drinker and I was newly sober.

I’m super blunt and fearless so I have zero issues telling people I don’t want to see them and why. I’ve never been nervous of conflict. I’ll fight anybody 🤪. Joking with that last statement. I’m a lady. We don’t fight 😘

 

[Isildur123]

I have been seeing this SP for the past 6-7 years. She is HE only but we have gotten very close over the years, talking about all sorts of things, including about her parents, etc. I half-jokingly ask her to date me all the time.

Though she is HE only, one time she offered a footjob, which I gladly accepted. After giving a bit of a footjob, she eventually laid down on the massage table and I started taking initiative and fucking her feet. I leaned forward and kissed her on the neck, then down to her breasts, her stomach, and then between her legs. All of this was over her clothes. The entire time I was watching if she was okay with it, which she was. Then after 1-2 minutes I stopped, laid back on my back, and asked her for a HE, which she did.

The session ended unremarkably and I tipped her well. However when I texted her later, she did not reply. It could be that she is taking a break, or it could be that I made her uncomfortable during the session. I suspect the latter is true, and had I known or had she expressed any discomfort to me, I would have stopped. So I regret how things ended between us. It could be that she was too shy or afraid to raise the fact that she was uncomfortable. But we had seen each other for years and we had shared everything together; I wish she trusted me enough to tell me that she was uncomfortable without fearing that I would go crazy or violent or something. (She does share space with another SP, so she would have been safe in any event.)

The other hypothesis I have is that we have gotten "too close" and she was falling for me, and had to stop seeing me. When I asked her to date me, she always said that she couldn't, because she was in the industry. She seemed sad or ashamed about it, but there was really nothing to be ashamed about. I think this hypothesis is weak though; more likely it was her discomfort.

 

[Bunghole1]

I know I am a walking atm machine in this business. I am not paying to have a deeper connection beyond the session fun. I remember watching this stripper series on hbo where women would go on about men falling for them but in the end these men were just atm machines getting sucked dry. (No pun inteded because it was just freeeakin lap dances yo!) Now thats some straight up bs!

This industry aint no pretty women movie.
Its a business. If you keep it proffesional throughout and understand the facts in this hobby all should be good. Dont let it go to your head. Creating deeper feelings beyond the session time is a big mistake in this hobby. If you have been seeing her for years you are not the only one.

I know a massage lady that everyone loves who ended up with a constant flow of clients. Her client list is so big that she never has to see new clients again. I have texted her in the past to see if shes a available but so far it has been crickets. Sure we had fun in the past but I am pretty sure none of it made me anymore special then her other clients. She did give me extras without paying though so maybe I was special? Its her life and her choice. If her client list is that big its kinda hard to see everybody and that goes for the ones who have seen her for years. She now has the power to take breaks and only see the bigger spenders and tippers. Thats a win win for her. I am not sad or mad. I just move on to new adventures. Its not like I was banned for any deplorable reason such as asking her to fart in my face so I have nothing to worry about.

One thing you must realise is that none of this would be happening without the exchange of money.
It doesnt matter if its one offs, repeats, deeper connections or years seeing eachother. Money is what makes this industry go around. We are expendable buyers with a lineup of clients ready to step in to take our place. You might think you are extra special but so do many of their other clients. We can be let go at any given time with zero answers given. Dont take it to heart.

Richard Gere could show up and she could retire to be more then just a pretty woman. What are you going to do then?

The feelings should stay in the session no matter how long you have been seeing her.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

I know I am a walking atm machine in this business. I am not paying to have a deeper connection beyond the session fun. I remember watching this stripper series on hbo where women would go on about men falling for them but in the end these men were just atm machines getting sucked dry. (No pun inteded because it was just freeeakin lap dances yo!) Now thats some straight up bs!

This industry aint no pretty women movie.
Its a business. If you keep it proffesional throughout and understand the facts in this hobby all should be good. Dont let it go to your head. Creating deeper feelings beyond the session time is a big mistake in this hobby. If you have been seeing her for years you are not the only one.

I know a massage lady that everyone loves who ended up with a constant flow of clients. Her client list is so big that she never has to see new clients again. I have texted her in the past to see if shes a available but so far it has been crickets. Sure we had fun in the past but I am pretty sure none of it made me anymore special then her other clients. She did give me extras without paying though so maybe I was special? Its her life and her choice. If her client list is that big its kinda hard to see everybody and that goes for the ones who have seen her for years. She now has the power to take breaks and only see the bigger spenders and tippers. Thats a win win for her. I am not sad or mad. I just move on to new adventures. Its not like I was banned for any deplorable reason such as asking her to fart in my face so I have nothing to worry about.

One thing you must realise is that none of this would be happening without the exchange of money.
It doesnt matter if its one offs, repeats, deeper connections or years seeing eachother. Money is what makes this industry go around. We are expendable buyers with a lineup of clients ready to step in to take our place. You might think you are extra special but so do many of their other clients. We can be let go at any given time with zero answers given. Dont take it to heart.

Richard Gere could show up and she could retire to be more then just a pretty woman. What are you going to do then?

The feelings should stay in the session no matter how long you have been seeing her.

This is a very good description of the business we are all partaking.
Well said!

 

[Austinpowersmojo]

You see a provider and you may be on Cloud 9 for days after thinking about the interaction. Meanwhile she has forgotten about you as soon as the next client walks in. It's a business and don't get too attached.

 

[VinVan]

I know I am a walking atm machine in this business. I am not paying to have a deeper connection beyond the session fun. I remember watching this stripper series on hbo where women would go on about men falling for them but in the end these men were just atm machines getting sucked dry. (No pun inteded because it was just freeeakin lap dances yo!) Now thats some straight up bs!

This industry aint no pretty women movie.
Its a business. If you keep it proffesional throughout and understand the facts in this hobby all should be good. Dont let it go to your head. Creating deeper feelings beyond the session time is a big mistake in this hobby. If you have been seeing her for years you are not the only one.

I know a massage lady that everyone loves who ended up with a constant flow of clients. Her client list is so big that she never has to see new clients again. I have texted her in the past to see if shes a available but so far it has been crickets. Sure we had fun in the past but I am pretty sure none of it made me anymore special then her other clients. She did give me extras without paying though so maybe I was special? Its her life and her choice. If her client list is that big its kinda hard to see everybody and that goes for the ones who have seen her for years. She now has the power to take breaks and only see the bigger spenders and tippers. Thats a win win for her. I am not sad or mad. I just move on to new adventures. Its not like I was banned for any deplorable reason such as asking her to fart in my face so I have nothing to worry about.

One thing you must realise is that none of this would be happening without the exchange of money.
It doesnt matter if its one offs, repeats, deeper connections or years seeing eachother. Money is what makes this industry go around. We are expendable buyers with a lineup of clients ready to step in to take our place. You might think you are extra special but so do many of their other clients. We can be let go at any given time with zero answers given. Dont take it to heart.

Richard Gere could show up and she could retire to be more then just a pretty woman. What are you going to do then?

The feelings should stay in the session no matter how long you have been seeing her.

This is true.

And in the margins there are other truths as well. The other day I went to lunch with an attractive woman, 30. We met, I drove us to the restaurant and we talked about relationships, careers, religion, economics, psychology. It was an enjoyable time for both of us.

Then we walked across the street to her place of business and we had dessert: some very enjoyable sex for which I paid. As time has gone on I’ve found that I’m happy to pay for sex; in fact I prefer the exchange of funds for fun as it keeps the boundaries clear for both of us.

I met her in the biz, and we have become more chummy as time has gone on. This is a part-time gig for her as she has a civilian life she’s pretty happy with as do I. It’s explicitly understood that neither of us wants a relationship with the other, but we like each other enough to hang out on occasion. I know for a certain that she’ll leave the biz sooner rather than later and likely our little friendship too. But that’s okay; it doesn’t prevent me (and apparently her) from enjoying the moment.

A guy I know recently took an SP he was seeing to a legit spa to enjoy the saunas and treatments. They both had an enjoyable time just hanging out. Neither of us have Brad Pitt’s charms, nor his bank account. It wasn’t the goal per se to see either of these women socially; sometimes it just happens. You get on with someone whether it’s your hiking friend, someone at the gym, or an SP. I’m sure we’re not the first and nor will we be the last.

Yes, for the most part it’s wise to keep it professional. And sometimes it’s good to just be in the moment and go with the flow. I’ve learned over the years that expectations are the killer of joy; when you have none things tend to work out.

 

[80watts]

As in all things just find a better SW. It will make you happier....

 

[undecided]

That sucks. But here's a way to look at things in the future. At least how I do.

You me feel there's a connection. And you always reach out. However I always ask myself, if I don't initiate, does this person reach out? We may think we have our regulars...but tbh we are not their regulars and they do not hold us in the same regards. Never forget those dynamics. True for many things in life.

 

[dare.devil]

Take the hint.

A woman can not just reject a man with bluntness, it would be dangerous for them.

when where how? I notice men getting rejected every day by women and they make it as painful as possible for men.

 

[Isildur123]

I'm not naive to think that this isn't a transactional business. It is. However I do believe that it is possible to have a genuine connection with SPs.

There are SPs which make it obvious that you're just a pile of money to them. But at the opposite direction, there are SPs with whom you share a genuine connection, and you're capable of more than just small talk. It is amazing what you can accomplish and how much she will share with you if you treat the SP well instead of an object that rubs your cock.

Heck, some SPs have even married pooners.