Seinfeld

[Lo-ki]

No soup for you....

George Costanza: I want to make a good entrance. I never makes good entrances.
Jerry: You have made some good exits.

Jerry: Is that your "chicken" making all that noise?
Kramer: Oh, Little Jerry loves the morning.
Jerry: Who?
Kramer: Little Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah I named my chicken after you.

George: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?
Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

 

[Relax10]

This was classic :lol:

 

[Notlurker123]

I have legs.

Jerry on why he is a boob man.

 

[golferjohn]

"you're a RAGING anti-dentite"

"I'm huge, Jerry"

 

[golferjohn]

"I thought the 'O' was supposed to stay with the 'B'"

 

[take8easy]

"I thought the 'O' was supposed to stay with the 'B'"

Speaking of the BO episode.
Jerry: Can you smell something?
Elaine: What do you mean can I smell something? Of course I can smell something. What am I, hard of smelling?

 

[take8easy]

These pretzels are making me thirsty.
May be the dingo ate your bay-bee.
She had man hands.
Bro - Bra for men
Manssier- A Brassier for men.
You were making out during Schindler's List??
George: but I am disturbed, I am depressed, I am inadequate, I got it all!!!

But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation. .......... you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation. And that is really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take the reservation. ......
Rental lady: Would you like to have insurance?
Jerry: Yea, you better give me the insurance because I am going to beat the hell out of the car.

Jackie Chiles: You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on?I didn't tell you the put the balm on. Why did you put the balm on? If you want to put the balm on, let the doctor put the balm on...... Where the hell did you get the damn balm anyway?

 

[luvsdaty]

It's the summer of George!

 

[SDK]

Pee pees and wee wees

 

[SDK]

She had man hands.

It's like a creature out of Greek mythology.

 

[sexpanther69]

I've shown I can go all the way, I've got the stink of responsibility on me....

Kramer, your fighting children!

 

[manni]

I believe the term is…menage a trois.
Nooo, I can't be an orgy guy!

 

[AA_Train]

A couple of Frank Costanza gems

"What is this? A PROPHYLACTIC WRAPPER?

Frank: Are you saying, you want a piece of me?
Elaine: I could drop you like a bag of dirt
Frank: YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??? YOU GOT IT!!!!

 

[golferjohn]

'you're not Chinese?' ~ Estelle

 

[westcoastrider1982]

“What!! I can’t wear these!! They look ridiculous!”
“Jerry! You look like a cowboy!”
“BUT I DON’T WANNA BE A COWBOY!!”

“Maybay tha dingo ate cha baybee!”

“Now that is one magic loogie!”

 

[storm rider]

SR

 

[steverino]

"Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?"

The moops.

 

[MrBrown]

Was traveling recently and experienced this!

But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation. .......... you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation. And that is really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take the reservation. ......

 

[italian233]

From the season 9 episode " The Reverse Peephole"

 

[bazokajoe]

Got some good laughs reading these.
Seinfeld and MASH are my 2 favourite shows.