Regs who just disappear...

[vanperb]

There's a twitter post from an SP about regs who just ghosts all of a sudden.

It's happened to me on this side of the fence more often than not, and is one of the reasons this hobby isn't as fun for me anymore.
At one point in time a regular provider will retire / find the love of her life / start a llama ranch / move out town / etc and I'll never get a good bye or so long or it's been fun. I know that part of the appeal of seeing SPs is that everything is NSA, and there's a transaction to make sure everyone is on the same page. No explanations, no expectations. Still, for those of us who regularly see providers we do connect with, it's hard to imagine them leaving without saying anything.

I originally thought this might be a provider thing, or millennial thing, or maybe I'm just a sap.
But to hear it happens on the other side of the fence too... it's kind of validating. Shared misery and confusion and all that.

To those women who I've known before and come to know intimately, I do wish the best for you even though I never got a chance to say it.

 

[haigum141]

Wheres the post from the SP?

Let’s hear it from both sides, not just yours

 

[vanperb]

Wheres the post from the SP? Let’s hear it from both sides, not just yours

Perma banned provider. Not sure I could without incurring unwanted attention.

 

[haigum141]

Perma banned provider. Not sure I could without incurring unwanted attention.

Simply re-post the message without the SP’s name or handle

 

[newatit]

Well Vanperb, it might be a sign of a younger age that you miss some of these gals. This is the business! Some have just had enough, don't want any lingering attachements or reminders, so take off, or become invisible. And in fact, I feel the same way. Dont't want their attention anymore, so leave me alone.

 

[volvoguy1979]

... And in fact, I feel the same way. Dont't want their attention anymore, so leave me alone.

We don't pay them to stay.
Instead, we pay them to go away!

 

[sensul]

We don't pay them to stay.
Instead, we pay them to go away!

...exactly lol! Well said

 

[Lady Vanessa]

...exactly lol! Well said

Such a bad and demeaning attitude. I hope this isn't a rampant thought amongst others.

 

[lukom]

Any ATF's I stopped seeing were due to them moving to a location that wasn't convenient for me. Others became harder to book, and then there were those I could tell were starting to spiral into certain habits that left me feeling like I was feeding said habit. Others either told me that they were transitioning out of the industry, stopped advertising, and only made for a few regulars (some cases were me). Others ghosted me too, it happens and I move on. There was also mention that the SP in question has been permanently banned from PERB, not to generalize but a permanent ban means this person must have been someone who may have demonstrated a great deal of troubling and unstable behavioral patterns. If they can act so terribly on a forum that gets them permanently banned (not just temporarily), it's also possible that they may be just as unstable in person and that would make any client uneasy about seeing them again.

 

[vanperb]

Such a bad and demeaning attitude. I hope this isn't a rampant thought amongst others.

... I'm kinda taken back myself. Was expecting something more sympathetic.

 

[Reference3A]

Every relationship in life has a shelf life except for the life long friendships or marriages. People grow apart and go their separate ways . Nothing wrong with that .
Escorts & Clients alike have their ATF's. It's not a guarantee . I had a lady ask me twice if I was seeing another women as I was quiet for a awhile ? Really.
Part of the problem with the whole Escort/Client, SB/SD relationship is the financial responsibility on the part of the client . If seeing a lady frequently than stop. Poof. That money is gone. I'm talking about regular extended dates.That's a hit to their pocket book and pride.
It's supposed to be a business to the lady , they use that terminology frequently . We are not your friends or lovers. We are a paying client . Escorts often say things to create an illusion of something that's not there. Honestly some women do it frequently and really shouldn't be saying certain things as it's a form of manipulation to keep the client coming back for more. Be a gentleman, kind, thoughtful , pay the requested rates agreed upon, be generous. Other than that don't owe them a thing or explanation. Just like the lady doesn't owe the client anything after each date. That connection people speak of is called lust. If it wasn't a financial transaction the date wouldn't have happened in the first place so don't take it to seriously. We can talk about challenges in life , even get a tad personal but as long as the financial element exists it will always be temporary . It's her job.
I've been involved in a couple grey areas and the enjoyment fades over time. It creates confusion , and somebody always gets hurt. This is supposed to be an enjoyable experience for both . . Once you get to close it stops being much fun, Live your lives separately when apart , enjoy your time together when it happens. Don't search out or ask what's up if responses stop. It truly is none of your business when the other party fades away. There is a reason. It's something both men & women in this type of relationship have to understand .
If anyone is doubtful to any one of my comments. I never have but next time you go to arrange a date with your ATF make mention that it uncompensated.

 

[Reference3A]

Such a bad and demeaning attitude. I hope this isn't a rampant thought amongst others.

It is the posters opinion. He is allowed one right?
It's actually quite similiar logic to how escorts work just expressed differently.
At the end of say, a one hour date, the client is expected to leave , correct?
If said client dragged his heels on leaving would you entertain him further
without the appropriate compebsation?

 

[newatit]

Well, I have warmed up to many gals over many years in this business, and I know there have been many similar feelings towards me, but in the end, it all came to an end. Some relationships lasted as much as 7 years or more. But there is an end, no more correspondence, talks, love and affection. Just zero. So be it. It is that way anyway.

 

[ModSquad]

Such a bad and demeaning attitude. I hope this isn't a rampant thought amongst others.

It's actually a quote from Charlie Sheen in his trial in 2008 when asked by a Judge why he paid to have sex. Charlie said "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave".

 

[masterblaster]

I’ve been seeing the same woman for 15 years. Have become quite close in that time.

 

[Fullhouse]

I’ve been seeing the same woman for 15 years. Have become quite close in that time.

Holy Cow, - 15 years to come close to a lady.

I usually come close to a lady on the first day/session - h*ll, so close that part of my body is inside her.. It doesn't get any
closer than that.

 

[jamasianman]

It sucks when you have an amazing time with a lady and want to try again a few months later, and they are gone. But that is the nature of the business. One of my ATFs probably moved to Alberta or wherever and that's it. Also if any lady I see infrequently gives me flack or asks me why I haven't repeated or gives me any shit, I don't see her again. Its a business relationship, but neither party has to inform the other they are not coming back. All paid for appointments are for that appointment, if future ones happen they happen.

I mean, if a lady wants to tell people on perb or on twitter she is retiring, she can, but I can also see why a client doesn't want to tell a lady whom he sees a lot why he no longer does and ghosted. He doesn't need to have a reason, he can choose just not to go anymore. Same for his hairdresser/barber, his dentist, mechanic, etc.

 

[Reference3A]

Well, I have warmed up to many gals over many years in this business, and I know there have been many similar feelings towards me, but in the end, it all came to an end. Some relationships lasted as much as 7 years or more. But there is an end, no more correspondence, talks, love and affection. Just zero. So be it. It is that way anyway.

Seven years ! That's impressive. The longest I went was four years with an escort. Your felt loved and was affectionate so she did her job well. Thats great, but always remember it was fantasy that she provided you with, nothing more.
I realize I sound cynical and maybe a tad cunty. I have nothing against escorts whatsoever. They do provide an important service in today's society. There are a lot of great women out there for sure. I'm not sure if I will ever revisit a full time escort again . But it's good to keep options open as you never know what's around the next corner .
I just learned things are not what they seem. It was drilled into my head by the four year gal I was special . Very affectionate and said all the right things. We travelled together , had some very wonderful times.
She said something to me while talking of her past and issues she had been having which completely contradicted everything she had said to me. I still to this day don't think she realized the significance of that comment. It erased everything for me.
To be completely honest , I felt like fool. I wasn't looking for love or anything like that. Just a travelling companion who I could be friends with without the strings. I did like her and enjoyed her company most of the time. There were some challenges in her personal life which did effect our time together . So not so much no strings attached .
I just learned from two long term overall experiences that it's best to view the paid companion for what it is. Paying a lovely lady for their time and companionship and to most def not take any of it too seriously . Especially the words. Their creating a fantasy. Some gals are extremely good at it. They will use it to their advantage in a subtle manipulative way to get more dates from you , ie. more money . As the financial part is their end game. It's why they do this job.

 

[Reference3A]

It sucks when you have an amazing time with a lady and want to try again a few months later, and they are gone. But that is the nature of the business. One of my ATFs probably moved to Alberta or wherever and that's it. Also if any lady I see infrequently gives me flack or asks me why I haven't repeated or gives me any shit, I don't see her again. Its a business relationship, but neither party has to inform the other they are not coming back. All paid for appointments are for that appointment, if future ones happen they happen.

I mean, if a lady wants to tell people on perb or on twitter she is retiring, she can, but I can also see why a client doesn't want to tell a lady whom he sees a lot why he no longer does and ghosted. He doesn't need to have a reason, he can choose just not to go anymore. Same for his hairdresser/barber, his dentist, mechanic, etc.

Yes, Exactly.

 

[grizzly]

There were a few ladies I thought I had a friendship with. I would get multiple texts a week just asking how I was doing. I felt special in their eyes, and I probably was. I've recently incurred a debilitating back injury, and informed these special ladies and haven't heard anything from any of them since other than get well soon. It hurts a little because I thought we had something more than just a transaction, but I was wrong. If the money stops flowing, see ya later.