real estate agents

mustangjoe

Active member
May 16, 2004
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36
Anyone a real estate agent here?

I think they are all a bunch of cum drinking greedy rat bastard mother fuckers.

I brought over a real estate agent to a rental property of mine to access it and sell it.

Negotiations with this retard failed and he left the house in a fit after things got very tense, loud, emotional and almost violent All because I asked for a discount off his commission.

All you dicks charge way too much to sell a house. 7% on the first 100g and 3.5% on the remainder, spilt between the buyers agent and the listing agent? Fuck you. Way to much. The market has become ridiculously over saturated with these greedy morons; listings are down, sales are up and the price of homes has doubled in the past few years.

Economics 101 tells me that realtor fees should drop as more agents get hungry for listings, but no.. these fuckers are all in collusion with one another and no one will budge.. these dicks even bad mouth 1% realty and brain wash their clients not to buy from them. Some agents won't even tell his/ her buyer about a new listing from 1%.

I sold a house once and my agent found a buyer working without an agent via an open house. The agent had the tenacity to want both commissions! Fuck you! He told me it was 'his' client so he wanted the buyers commission! Suck me. I paid you good money to hold the open to find a buyer. That you did so now you want double?!? he says it's more work too. Yeah, sign here and here.. a lot more work my ass... and now you want another $15000 for that? A properly priced home is a decent area will take a day to sell. How much money do you expect me to give to you for that? 20k? 30k? Fuck off, eat my ass. All these dumb fucks are laughing it up in this hot market having the time of their lives. They are out buying boats, cars and all that shit thinking these good times will last forever. Just wait for the market to turn, you dickless pricks. I'll laugh at your ass when I buy your boat at your bankruptcy sale.

Realtors are way over priced for the simple shit they do. I'd call it the most over paid profession, but who am I kidding? It's not even a profession. Any Joe blow with an IQ of a brick can complete the simple 2 month home schooling course to call themselves a realtor.

It's FSBO for me from now on.
 

maverick73

Banned
Feb 2, 2005
2,288
0
0
Spinnerville, BC
Welcome back MJ!!!! Your rants are classic!

------------------------------------------------
PS 7% and then 3.5% after is outrageous. I paid 1.497% on the WHOLE amount in an upscale area 4 years ago. I went through about 5 agents before I found my guy. He was awesome. He still made an excellent profit. It was win win!

I plan to use him if/when I sell my current home and if/when I buy a piece of land to start building my dream mansion.

You just gotta be patient and find the right guy... the guy that does things a little more efficiently and can still make a profit that is fair to him, you, and the 3rd party.
 

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
3,248
257
83
You can do several things to avoid this situation!

I feel your pain BTW!

1. Sell your home or whatever...yourself!
2. Rent
3. Move to Alberta and you can have your dream home at 40% on the dollar, compared to this lame shithole of a city!
 

gravitas

New member
Feb 7, 2006
2,165
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0
mustangjoe said:
I think they are all a bunch of cum drinking greedy rat bastard mother fuckers.
Couldn't agree more and personally hold these weasels in the same regard as lucifer himself. I was fortunate that I've found one of these blood suckers who has at least a shred of ethics, decency and is willing to negotiate commission.

mustangjoe said:
All you dicks charge way too much to sell a house....Fuck you. Way to much....Fuck you!.....Suck me....Fuck off, eat my ass....you dickless pricks
If you were a chick I would probably want to kiss your foul mouth right about now. Awesome rant!

mustangjoe said:
Any Joe blow with an IQ of a brick can complete the simple 2 month home schooling course to call themselves a realtor.
Not that its any consolation but I feel your pain. Calgary real estate has gone fucking crazy(ier) in the last couple of years. About once every 3 months I get some greasy fuck knocking at my door asking if I want to sell my house. The number of people getting their realtor's license is out of control.
 
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MRGREEN

Lost in Translation
Jul 7, 2003
1,010
657
113
Winnipeg
perb.ca
Even in the Peg it's gotten pretty brutal the "professionals" are listing homes below their market value and drawing bids and then bragging about selling over list. Also list Friday, offers by Sunday creating a false sense of urgency. If you request an inspection or any condition on the home, your out! I understand what a free market system is and we're in a sellers market at the moment. The only ones who can stop some of these ethically questionable practices are the buyers......

Just my opinion

Peace Mr Green


gravitas said:
Couldn't agree more and personally hold these weasels in the same regard as lucifer himself. I was fortunate that I've found one of these blood sucking who has at least a shred of ethics, decency and is willing to negotiate commission.


If you were a chick I would probably want to kiss your foul mouth right about now. Awesome rant!


Not that its any consolation but I feel your pain. Calgary real estate has gone fucking crazy(ier) in the last couple of years. About once every 3 months I get some greasy fuck knocking at my door asking if I want to sell my house. The number of people getting their realtor's license is out of control.
 

westwoody

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
7,877
7,832
113
Westwood
MRGREEN said:
Even in the Peg it's gotten pretty brutal
The guy who sold me my house was a real slime.
He had a "friend" who did home inspections. We agreed on a time so I could see everything but when I showed up he said he had already finished-I let him get away with it and it was a big mistake! Now I have a nice crack in the foundation running the whole width of the back wall. Slimy bastard. If you have an inspection done, be sure you are looking over the inspector's shoulder and asking questions the whole time. This scammer charged me 350 for a nice report that has no value whatsoever. Nice gig-350 for less than an hour's work.
He also had a "friend" at the Royal Bank to do the financing that I never actually met face to face. I had to repeatedly go to the bank and sign things and deal with his secretary but could only talk to him over the phone. For $125K you'd think the lazy bum could find a few minutes for me. After two weeks of telephone tag I went to TD and got a mortgage in about fifteen minutes. I phoned the Royal to tell them to get lost. All of a sudden he wants to see me and tries to tell me that he's been doing all these annoying things "to make it more convenient for me".
There is so much money in real estate it attracts all kinds of shysters. Obviously these "friends" are all getting kickbacks of some sort and I was the one paying for them. And as MJ says, how many actual hours of work does it take to sell a house?The woman who sold my condo made about 7500 for about three or four hours work!
 
T

trainer

Absolutely could not agree more.

These rat motherfuckers run around calling themselves proffessionals!!!!!!!!!!

MY ASS

Have you ever tried to sell anything to these dirty fucks..They beat on you until there is nothing left and then they continue to beat on you until you tell them to fuck off and never come back

If you do get real unlucky and actually sell these pricks anything you live with the complaining that comes after for the rest of your life.

The world would be a far better place without the cocksuckers.

FUCK EM ALL !!!!
 

expo joe

New member
Nov 29, 2002
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In the lowermainland, the standard "asking" rate for commission to list and sell a house is normally 7% on the first 100K and 2.5% on the balance of the selling price. So either you heard the "fucker" wrong or he was bucking for more.... Having said that, there are many realtors out there who will do the deal for less and yes...they will agree to it upfront.

In this type of over-hyped market, you do not need to get the #1 salesperson in the area or most recognised agent to list your home as long as it hits the MLS system. You can "interview" various realtors until you get one who seems to know the market and area and who is willing to list for less. Why? Simply because the MLS is the central tool that all realtors and buyers have access to and over 95% of all residential real estate is listed through it. With the prevelance use of the internet, most buyers will peruse the MLS online system regularly for new listings and comparable properties thus, it is no longer a situation where information is "privvy".

Your best bet is probably that real estate firm which advertises for 1% total commission. They will try to get you for more but if you agree to their conditions, you can get away with a very low commission and have your property listed on the MLS system. Just don't expect much service in terms of showings ect.....

Am I a realtor? No, but I've been playing these real estate cycles for a long time and understand the mindset of the "salesman"......;)
 

Ilovethemall

Banned
Jul 12, 2005
794
1
0
3rd rock from the sun
cum eaters

Anyone that profits easily off of someone else's money is a syphillitic cum bucket. Realtors top the list - stock brokers aren't much better. Cocksuckers all live and breath off of our money. Lump in tow truck drivers and telemarketers and you have a good place to test a nuclear weapon.
 

mustangjoe

Active member
May 16, 2004
1,041
0
36
Ilovethemall said:
- stock brokers aren't much better. .

II don't use stock brokers myself, but if you do and have one that gives you good buy recommendations, here's what you do:

Buy a few shares from him. Enough to keep the recommendations coming, but not necessarily enough to keep him happy or fed. fuck him and the pony he rode in on.

Buy the rest of those particular shares online from E-trade, waterhouse, or what have you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Too bad you can't pull that kind of shit with those rat bastard realtors!
 

missing link

Banned
Dec 15, 2005
67
0
0
I don't understand why you need a realtor at all?? It seems like an unneccesary profession what with the internet..I see you can even guesstimate your mortgage payments online. Aren't there any websites that list homes? You can have a lawyer look over the deal for way less than 7% of the sale..why not do that?

Oust the fuckers entirely.
 

mustangjoe

Active member
May 16, 2004
1,041
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36
yeah, that's what I want to know.

This day in age with the internet and all that, who needs realtors? They are as useful as blank Beta tapes.

There is even a service that will list your house on MLS for you for a mere $700. It's actually some lazy ass real estate agent on the North Shore who will do it for you. For $700 he gets you the listing posted. You set the price, take the calls, show the place and take offers. Not a bad deal.
 

chilli

Member
Jul 25, 2005
993
12
18
Funny thread... Ignorance is truly bliss

How many of you guys think a hockey player is worth $50,000, $100,000 or $250,000 a game?

Honestly?

A grown man to play a game...

Would you like more examples?

CEO's who make millions in stock options EVEN when their company loses money that year.

Would you like more examples?

City Workers who work 6 months of the year and collect EI the rest of the year. I have more - hopefully I have made my point.

Life isn't fair - boo hoo

Commissions:

I'd like to see you at work and have your boss or a customer come in one day and ask you to take a pay cut - yah right - not likely.

If you don't like someones rate SHUT THE FUK UP and hire someone else.

It's almost as bad as people whining about SP's asking for more money - gezzz
$300.00 to have some old fat bald sweaty guy stick his dick in you - it's TOO MUCH you cry babies whine.

Don't like the rate - Don't sit there and argue with her for an hour trying to get a "discount" you cheap fuk.

Pay it or DO IT YOURSELF - you have 2 hands.

Moral of the story - you were being an asshole. Hope you feel better :)
 

bonanzabob

Member
Nov 13, 2004
194
13
18
Burnaby
I'm not a realtor but.....

Buying
Hate to say it....you need a realtor to get you the best deal when you are buying. The best properties never hit the MLS, they just get sold between realtors before the public knows about them. I think that sucks, but it's reality.

Selling
One thing I've learned when selling through a realtor, is that once they bring you an offer that is within 5% of your asking price, they will pressure you like crazy to take it. Why....simple....they are already making their 7% and 2.5%, and it means nothing to the realtor for you to get your extra 25,000 (as an example), because to the realtor, that difference represents only $625 in commission. If the offer is $500,000, the commission is already $17,000, so an extra $625 isn't worth it to the realtor. As a seller, you have to really dig in your heals to get that extra little bit on the selling price.
 

wilde

Sinnear Member
Jun 4, 2003
3,041
48
48
They do serve one important function which is to isolate the emotions that real estate deals may cause. Imagine selling you own house, every prospective buyer will no doubt have something negative to say about your place. Without the realtor to separate that emotion you will be too busy defending your place rather than to try and sell it.

But they are still scums.
 

HankQuinlan

I dont re Member
Sep 7, 2002
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victoria
InTheBum said:
I feel your pain BTW!

3. Move to Alberta and you can have your dream home at 40% on the dollar, compared to this lame shithole of a city!
Sure, but wouldn't it be in Alberta?
 

deke

Senile Member
Any any business, there are good people and there are bad people. I don't think you can just group them all as greedy bastards. You could say the same about insurance sales men, used car dealers, stock brokers, SP's and pooners etc. My last home purchase I found that the realtor worked very hard for the sale. I also wonder how many times they go out and show places, or find places for customers that don't pan out, and made zero dollars. Probably being out of pocket on those deals.
 

Randy Whorewald

Orgasm donor
Sep 20, 2005
3,319
0
0
Greek Islands
www.randydyck.com
I have to agree with Deke here. There are good and bad realtors just as in any other field.
 

InTheBum

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2004
3,248
257
83
They are a dime a dozen...

Any loser can do that job...but then again, most jobs require little more than grade 11 education...
 
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