One-And-Dones vs Regulars

[Big Dick Bob]

I'm having a bit of a dilemma when it comes to seeing SPs for a second time after having a fantastic first time with them.

Twice now I have gone back for round two with two providers, and the session was ok. Everything was fine, they both were kind and accommodating like the first session...but I didn't leave feeling like a sexual god who had conquered his fair lady.

A certain provider who is #1 on my list is back in town, and I'm feeling a lot hesitant because I don't want to feel like I was unable to get to the summit again with her. If that happened, I would be really disappointed because the thought of her and her hot mouth is in my mind whenever I feel the urge to pleasure myself.

Am I being silly, or should I just let things be for good if I find another provider who knocks my socks off and leaves me yearning for more?

 

[rinamood]

I think the reward of finding out for sure if someone is "one-and-done" or a consistent regular is greater than the risk of having a "just okay" session. I do see where the dilemma is with your #1 being a touring provider, but if you don't try again, you'll simply never know and always wonder... which you are already struggling with from the sounds of it 👀

 

[GeeBeeP]

I’ve had the situation go both ways.

Sometimes the second time has been as you describe above, where things are good but don’t reach a new level.

However it also happens that subsequent dates with an SP get better!!. Similar to being with a new girlfriend, as you get familiar with each others likes and turn ons, the sex gets more varied and explorative. I have also found, and I think the SP’s here will agree, that the more comfortable she becomes with you the more open she may be to share her own kinks and desires.

I’d see the girl who’s back in town again.

 

[Billiam]

Frequency typically equates to better mileage, at least in my experience. Over the past 10+ years I've been to Smart Spa probably twice a month, experiencing the same three lovely ladies for somewhre in the neighbourhood of 250+ visits, and still leave every session gob-smacked!
Since you asked, yes, I think it's a little silly, but then only you can decide what's right for you - personally I'd probably go for the returning #1 as well.
Enjoy!

 

[Harmony-bc]

Some guys just like variety and the thrill of the chase. Others like getting comfortable to be themselves with the same provider over and over.

I think if you had a great time with a lady and want to see her again, just do it. Don’t over think it. Just dive in. You’ll have fun regardless. You could see somebody new and not connect too. Also don’t compare last session to this session. It’s a different day. Comparing an actual experience to a memory won’t do the new experience justice.

 

[Bollsdeap]

I have a couple of regulars that I absolutely love and have visited several times. The service has gotten better and better the more I have seen them They know what I like and I know exactly what experience I'm going to have when I'm with them.

On the other hand, just as regularly, I get an urge for the one and done. I like to explore women I haven't been with before. That's part of the thrill of this hobby, getting to have different experiences with different people. Some of those experiences are good and some not so much. And it's the way I have found a few of my regulars.

So, the advice I give is, explore both sides: the regular and the new experience. Both have so much to offer.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

I use a flow chart for this kind of thing
Am I horned up
Yes
Go see an SP
Do I want to see someone new
Yes
Go see a new SP
or
Do I want to see a regular
Yes
Go see a regular Sp
Works every time

 

[ExpCharlee]

I find the first date has a thrill the second date can lack. However, the third date and beyond, the connection grows and it becomes a deeper connection and you start to learn each other better. This can make the sex a lot better too! Stick with it and you’ll reap the benefits!

 

[Boogeryyc]

I’ve gone through periods where I wanted a deeper connection so finding a regular was great. Other times I just want the sex.

And I think the meh feeling you get the second visit is like the meh you get the second time you go to a great restaurant: the expectation outweighs the reality. I think expectation ruins experiences sometime

 

[ExpCharlee]

I find the first date has a thrill the second date can lack. However, the third date and beyond, the connection grows and it becomes a deeper connection and you start to learn each other better. This can make the sex a lot better too! Stick with it and you’ll reap the benefits!

Oh I just had another thought—why not make the second date a duo? Then you get to see the provider you want to see again, AND you can throw in a new dynamic to keep it spicy.

 

[steverino]

I have mostly sought out new experiences which translated to seeking out new providers. More recently, I have found that you can have substantially new experiences with someone you have seen. In this case it was a massage provider who also offers striptease and lap dance options. If I find someone who I like on the first go, I am more likely to chat about ways to spice up return visits such that it feels novel.

 

[grusse]

I have a couple of regulars that I absolutely love and have visited several times. The service has gotten better and better the more I have seen them They know what I like and I know exactly what experience I'm going to have when I'm with them.

On the other hand, just as regularly, I get an urge for the one and done. I like to explore women I haven't been with before. That's part of the thrill of this hobby, getting to have different experiences with different people. Some of those experiences are good and some not so much. And it's the way I have found a few of my regulars.

So, the advice I give is, explore both sides: the regular and the new experience. Both have so much to offer.

I follow what you wrote.
I've had extended runs with certain ladies,sessions only getting better each time, with the curiousity to seek new ladies.
Seeing someone for the 1st time is always iffy(part of the excitement) and sometimes a downer but every long-term rewarding adventure has to begin with a 1st-time.

 

[ChromeGasCap]

I do understand the curiosity and excitement that comes with a first encounter, however my own boundaries and the lack of authenticity of the relationship, prevents me from experiencing the encounter at its fullest.
A frequented encounter feels more authentic, even if the truth is painted with different colours than you are seeing, which is the case most of the time.
For me, Authenticity (not even familiarity) is key to experiencing an encounter at its fullest.

 

[Once you go black]

Someone on here implied that expectations can ruin the experience, wise words . Perhaps the first time you are going in to it more open minded .

Some hobbyists prefer building rapport over time , others prefer the thrill of the new . Nothing wrong w either .

I like the familiar but I also like some variety . Based on how often I engage in the hobby I usually have a rotation of about 10 regulars . This means I make my way back around to each once or twice a yr . That way I still have some variety and by the time I see them again I’m so excited w anticipation that honestly I’m happy as fuck from the moment I first see them .

The beauty of this system is every once in a while one of them may change careers , go on hiatus , or simply need a break . In which case I am forced to go out on the hunt “ in search “ of a replacement.

I also ( and I have learned this the hard way ) never go see a provider unless I am truly yearning for the touch of a woman ( and very kinky non monogamous provider style sex ) on a deep level .

If time to do this is hard to come by and I have to plan in advance I don’t allow myself to bust a nut ( with anyone else or by my own hand ) for at least a week minimum before seeing the sp.

 

[Boogeryyc]

Oh I just had another thought—why not make the second date a duo? Then you get to see the provider you want to see again, AND you can throw in a new dynamic to keep it spicy.

you’re 100% right and I’ve done that a few times. Once I was in such a rut I booked a reverse gangbang with 4 women. That woke me up real good!

 

[Big Dick Bob]

you’re 100% right and I’ve done that a few times. Once I was in such a rut I booked a reverse gangbang with 4 women. That woke me up real good!

Which 4 women?

I've been in a bit of a rut myself...

 

[Boogeryyc]

Which 4 women?

I've been in a bit of a rut myself...

This was in Calgary. All but one have moved out of sex work from what I’m aware

my recommendation is to find a lady who has multiple duo partners and see if she can facilitate a RGB for you

 

[MRGREEN]

Much preferred a regular situation. Comfort level and familiarity worked well for me and I think my partners as well. Always challenging to find some one you click with.

 

[vanblue]

I think that finding someone you are comfortable with and gets you is the way to go. I'm friends with my provider and sessions are super chill. No anxiety about what's on the other side of the door. The thrill factor isn't there I guess but the security of knowing you're not going to get ripped off is comforting.

 

[Big Dick Bob]

UPDATE: I ended up going back to the SP who knocked my socks off...and it was actually better than the first time! We had even better sexual chemistry and we had a fantastic time just being in each other's company. It was like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro for a second time.