Oh Shit - Big Bust in the Forbidden City.

Tarzen

New member
Feb 20, 2014
273
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0
Warning - This review is for your entertainment. Some facts have been modified to protect the innocent. Seriously... I can't put this in as a regular review.

I came across and ad of a nice curvy woman with Knockers on steroids. It's so big you can take a trip to Russia.

Contacted "The Busty" for appointment and location. For the one in a lifetime experience I went into the forbidden city.
A city of one way streets and over priced meter parking. Its downtown Vancouver in the afternoon. It's a jungle the mighty Tarzen
will venture into to feast on the worlds biggest melon.

Found and parked into a spot as another car just droved out. Jackpot... still 30mins left in the meter. Fed some loonies and toonies to make it
60mins.

Contacted "The Busty" and advise her I'm here to get the buzzer and unit number.

Went up and it's the usual hide behind the door. This is standard and never gets too old. Feels like a kid getting surpised opening your birthday
present.

I'm all shot up with excitement as the door closes and the presence of the living and breathing stallion before me. Holy Sushi roll. This is one big
busty gorilla I don't wanna sushi roll with.

I followed her to paradise city and went au natural. I joyfully slide down her top to disrobe her dress.

My eyes grew big like a gold fish as I'm faced with the biggest set of melons before me. I gave this big gorilla a hug to feel her big melons pressed
against my flat melons.

She instructed me onto the love nest. She got out one of her candy wrappers for my little sidekick before treating my sidekick to a mouthfull warm up.

She stops and goes on all four pretending to be a pet dog. In this position... I made the best of it and I hug her from behind cupping those big melons.
I fondled those big melons from behind. This ass is so big I can't feel where sidekick went to.

I tell her to lie down. She spread like an eagle for me.
In this position I take the opportunity to lick and suck those big set of melons waiting for my attention.
It's totally more than a mouthfull. The nipple was so rubbery and to the point. I gave her a little tease by giving it a little bite as I suck
to the end of the nipple.

Her mouth so big down below. No way my little sidekick is going to turn into the incredible
hulk and fullfill that big mouth below. I led my little sidekick into her mouth below. It's very big and feels like wham bam shaka lacka the
heavenly sky. I feel this bruce banner really needs the incredible hulk for this big mouth below.

I call upon my Jungle book the page position 69.

Her mouth below is an eyefull.. it's so big so I spread it open with my fingers and gave her clit a lick and a stroke. At the same time my sidekick
got another mouthfull of wham bam shaka lacka.

The force is on and I can feel it and I can't hold my ass together and let it out and quickly took my sidekick out of her mouth.
"Oh shit" I cried as I turned my head behind.
"Oh Shit... what the fuck..." she screamed.

I quickly got off running towards my set of clothes on the chair.
"Wipe it off with this" I shouted as I picked up my t-shirt and gave my ass a quick wipe and threw it towards her.

I quickly got my pants on and ran out the door with the jacket in hand as she is occupied.

Got to my car... damn meter still have 30mins left. Next time before I venture never to have whole grain oatmeal cereals for lunch...
 

nickcan

Active member
Nov 6, 2011
704
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She's lucky you weren't 69'ing with you on top.

This is for real? If yes, really disgusting!
Something a pet would do not a grown man.
 

PuntMeister

Punt-on!
Jul 13, 2003
2,276
1,415
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Best just to forget the whole Turdry affair. Or is that Tawdry. LOL.
 

deleted Miss Lux

New member
Nov 12, 2010
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Downtown
www.sensualmisslux.com
Oh my. I have no words. I can't even imagine how embarrassing that would be for the client... And how horrified I'd be as the provider... Yikes!
 

Tarzen

New member
Feb 20, 2014
273
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0
Your are truly a character Tarzen. So I have to ask...

Why share this info? It's not a review, you didn't name the provider...

I'm trying to understand why you would feel compelled to post this experience.
This is a lounge right... I don't know the rules.. if stuff like this is not allowed... please tell me and I will adhere to the advice and never post things like this.
You ask me why... life is filled with a variety of entertainment to suit every taste in this jungle. Thats why we have genres like horror, romance, war, action, comedy, etc... to bring entertainment into your daily life.

I value everyones post good or bad... You have the freedom to not read my postings. There are people that accept literature like this.
Why do you read my postings... after reading this...
did it make you chuckle or laugh...
did it entertain you...
did i affect you emotionally...
did i take you to a journey for a few minutes.. taking you away from your everyday stress....

Before you critique me... how are you feeling...
 

cherise

lounge access denied :(
Aug 6, 2012
1,147
3
0
58
This is a lounge right... I don't know the rules.. if stuff like this is not allowed... please tell me and I will adhere to the advice and never post things like this.
You ask me why... life is filled with a variety of entertainment to suit every taste in this jungle. Thats why we have genres like horror, romance, war, action, comedy, etc... to bring entertainment into your daily life.

I value everyones post good or bad... You have the freedom to not read my postings. There are people that accept literature like this.
Why do you read my postings... after reading this...
did it make you chuckle or laugh...
did it entertain you...
did i affect you emotionally...
did i take you to a journey for a few minutes.. taking you away from your everyday stress....

Before you critique me... how are you feeling...
well i got a huge chuckle out of it:D
do i believe it to be real? not for a frakin second....thats why its entertaining IMO
 

UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
2,076
516
113
Pretty disgusting actually, I must of missed the funny part.
 

grusse

Well-known member
Feb 18, 2010
3,873
2,091
113
I don't know Tarzen but I enjoy his posts&reviews,in which he shows a snese of humour,often self-deprecating.

I have to say I was some surprised by this one,as I feel quite confident in saying most of us would keep this embarrassment to ourselves.

Fair or not,I wonder if Perbites will, for a long time, see your name and think "the dude who s..t the bed", rather than "the pooner who writes entertaining reviews"

maybe this thread fits in the TMI category?
 

mikehawksbig

Member
Jun 2, 2010
123
0
16
Have a girl friend to whom this happened with some dude she was seeing. He lost control of his bowel as he was cumming. Not knowing what to make of it, she relayed the story to a gay male friend of ours. He replied, "that's what buttplugs are for. After anal sex, it's sometimes hard to control if you haven't enema'd recently."

Tarzen, you haven't been getting pegged recently, have you?
 

Tarzen

New member
Feb 20, 2014
273
0
0
Thank you for those taking a little time to read and post a reply. I welcome your feedback.
Lets answer some of the questions you have posted.

This adventure crusade is purely entertainment for your enjoyment. Think of this literature as a adult novel.

The magic of literature... whats depicted in the reading is not what your interpretation of the person behind Tarzen.
I'm just a humor open minded guy. Always learning. I'm not a reckless street kid.

I'm surprised to see the reaction went as far as you guys and gals would hate me. Hopefully your perception of me would
change as we journey through the crusade.

I'm happy to hear that it made some of you react to it.. never expected a impact that would make one poo
in your pants laughing.

This beautiful Big breasted woman has been reviewed before in the past by other board members.
I had the opportunity to see this sp a few years ago. - This part is true.

The last little part about the poo incident.. running off like a kid and having whole wheat bran for lunch. - This part is purely
fiction. This is purely to spice up the literature and bring out some comedy laughter to you. This is the punchline and
to end the story. Its purpose is to create excitement... it's something that makes the reader submerge into the story and
reacts to it. Like make you cry... happy... laugh... or upset.

Based on your post... I've accomplished this.

Heres an idea... why don't you write your version of this ending when he poo poo. what if it ends like this...

** If this happen... 1/ I don't think that big lady would let me get away that easily. 2/ I would stay like a gentleman and resolve this accident and not run away like a kid.
 

storm rider

Banned
Dec 6, 2008
2,540
7
0
Calgary
Thank you for those taking a little time to read and post a reply. I welcome your feedback.
Lets answer some of the questions you have posted.

This adventure crusade is purely entertainment for your enjoyment. Think of this literature as a adult novel.

The magic of literature... whats depicted in the reading is not what your interpretation of the person behind Tarzen.
I'm just a humor open minded guy. Always learning. I'm not a reckless street kid.

I'm surprised to see the reaction went as far as you guys and gals would hate me. Hopefully your perception of me would
change as we journey through the crusade.

I'm happy to hear that it made some of you react to it.. never expected a impact that would make one poo
in your pants laughing.

This beautiful Big breasted woman has been reviewed before in the past by other board members.
I had the opportunity to see this sp a few years ago. - This part is true.

The last little part about the poo incident.. running off like a kid and having whole wheat bran for lunch. - This part is purely
fiction. This is purely to spice up the literature and bring out some comedy laughter to you. This is the punchline and
to end the story. Its purpose is to create excitement... it's something that makes the reader submerge into the story and
reacts to it. Like make you cry... happy... laugh... or upset.

Based on your post... I've accomplished this.

Heres an idea... why don't you write your version of this ending when he poo poo. what if it ends like this...

** If this happen... 1/ I don't think that big lady would let me get away that easily. 2/ I would stay like a gentleman and resolve this accident and not run away like a kid.
All I can say is there are some people who get off on doing this either receiving or getting or both and the slang term for it is called a "chilli dog" and it is intentional(pretty twisted huh) and there other fetishes that are even more wierd such as doing greek on a gal with no condom and wrecking yourself inside her and then fingering her bung that is loaded with your baby batter and smearing it around the edges of her lips.....this is called a "dirty sanchez" and again some people get off on this...not my cup of tea though as I am pretty straight laced with regards to my sexual desires.

SR
 
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