Never fall in Love with a provider

[rollerboy]

I hear what you're saying but tell me, Is it really so wrong just to ask someone to let you down honestly (well, maybe not brutally honest) rather than leave them hanging, thinking you really meant what you said?

Don't take life so seriously, BSD.

Did you see "March of the Penguins"? Truthfully, we're all just a bunch of penguins. Only less devoted, tenacious, and heroic.

We're all just ordinary penguins, looking for something special. If I find myself caught in a "love spell" or blasted by an infatuation ray, I try to enjoy it to the fullest, but always look for cover.

Women lose respect for penguins whom they can walk all over. So keep your game face on, spirits up. Look at Alex. I got penguin tracks all over me, but it's been a thrill flirting with her.

 

[BS Detector]

Don't take life so seriously, BSD.

Did you see "March of the Penguins"? Truthfully, we're all just a bunch of penguins. Only less devoted, tenacious, and heroic.

Never saw it but I'll have to look for it. Guess I am just passionate about certain things. This happens to be one of em. Rest of life, oddly enough, I'm not so serious about (I don't think). Same with sport. Mostly is purely entertainment but the one I am passionate about is more than a game to me.

 

[Ariel]

Rollerboy: I know you are from out of town but if you don't book an appointment with Alexandria i am going to book one for you ..thats as long as she is available.

 

[flexxx]

You're right on the money rollerboy, caveman must go forth and seek new flame if old flame goes out. Time to start the hunt again, arhhhh!!!

 

[AsianWay]

love?

No offense mate but that's not love.

You want her to be who you wish you had, not who she is. Or you want her for yourself, and you can't have her. That's what hurts. It ain't your broken heart.

If you love her it's ok she's a whore. You'll still love her. Maybe you won't screw her anymore for various reasons, but you'll still love her. In your case it wasn't love... it was desire and maybe possessive want. And now it's disappointment.

When you've loved a drunk from pre-drinking sober thru deathbed from aids/liver failure/general self-destruction, we can chat sensibly about love.

Been there done that: regular gal, married mother, single mom, SP, drug addict, alcoholic, sickly grandma, dead of self destruction. Insert "clean" between each of those periods. Loved her every inch of the way. Still do.

 

[Massagegirl]

I have to say BSD, that I personally believe it takes 2 people to fall in love. One person CAN NOT fall in love without the other in full agreement. It's impossible. I think that would be called infatuation, not love. One person may (think they) know the other is "the One" but that's not the same as being in love and you should still keep your options open until a mutual love is declared. I may or may not have several booty calls on the back burner, but if I did the one I'd like the most is one who poses the biggest challenge. I do know that I will NEVER fall for the one that IS in love with me, thats too easy and mega boring.

I think there comes a time that we are on the verge of falling in love, but it is imperative to hold off (don't even think about it) until the other person is also on the verge, then you can fall in love together at the same time! I don't believe that people fall in love at different times, one may realize it before the other, but to speak too soon often ruins it no matter what. If you told her you love her and she didn't reply, the answer is no. Women would definately tell the truth there, men not so much. Saying that "it isn't the right time" kinda means "I have no idea at this point" or "you aren't completely disqualified" but does NOT mean "yes, just not now".

Life is like a game of poker, in that you can't beneficially show your hand too early. If you feel yourself falling, DO NOT admit it unless you know for a fact that she feels the same way, through hints or outright saying it. Start by saying something like "you are so awesome i could fall in love with you" and if you get a weird look, it's too early.

When I was young and naive I didn't want to cause hurt feelings so I would say something ambiguous like the excuses above, at least in my 20's. Now that I am in my thirties I am a lot more forthright and will just tell him he's not my type way early as in "you're so funny and nice, I wish you were my type". It is more honest and gets results, but took a decade to learn.

 

[erexpill.com]

- She obviously didnt love or respect you or she wouldnt have made the decision she did ...... yeah, I wouldnt mind being a coke-dealer making 15k a month, but you know what; if you really want something from a relationship then you have to make sacrifices, and not just think about yourself or just your needs. Same with her ..... she made the choice of the job over the relationship, even though she knew you dissaproved -- what does that show you? -- pick yourself up and move on. At this moment she seems to be the only important thing in your life because its unatainable at the moment ..... with time the feeling will pass, and take it from me 'success is the best revenge'

Also remember: "If someone does'nt love themselves, then how can they possibly love someone else"

 

[maverickghost]

- She obviously didnt love or respect you or she wouldnt have made the decision she did ...... yeah, I wouldnt mind being a coke-dealer making 15k a month, but you know what; if you really want something from a relationship then you have to make sacrifices, and not just think about yourself or just your needs. Same with her ..... she made the choice of the job over the relationship, even though she knew you dissaproved -- what does that show you? -- pick yourself up and move on. At this moment she seems to be the only important thing in your life because its unatainable at the moment ..... with time the feeling will pass, and take it from me 'success is the best revenge'

Also remember: "If someone does'nt love themselves, then how can they possibly love someone else"

Thanks, good advice. I've got a new life, a nice office, and a hot girl who works at the office I do in her own business that likes me. It makes things a lot easier. What am I clinging to, a call girl who is love with one of her perbs and keeps me around for a backup, and money vaccuum, a liar, narcicist who thinks I'm stupid, and I don't know what's going on? Not much of a keeper if you ask me.

I have moved on already. I have let go of hope for the reconciliation. At this point she has to win me back.

Some great input from people on this board. Thanks.

 

[flexxx]

It gets easier everyday, your going forward in a positive direction while she is going to be going in circles. Count yourself lucky Maverickghost, and as time goes by you will completely realize you made the correct decision. All things happen for a reason, you just have to accept them and learn from them and keep going forward. Good Luck.

 

[rollerboy]

Thanks, good advice. I've got a new life, a nice office, and a hot girl who works at the office I do in her own business that likes me. It makes things a lot easier. What am I clinging to, a call girl who is love with one of her perbs and keeps me around for a backup, and money vaccuum, a liar, narcicist who thinks I'm stupid, and I don't know what's going on? Not much of a keeper if you ask me.

Mav, that sounds so much healthier than before. It's funny what a few hormones can do to your sense of judgement.

Speaking of judgement, I'm hoping to have mine happily impaired by the very lovely and insightful ladies, Miss Alexandria and Miss Ariel.

 

[noneasgood]

Life is like a game of poker, in that you can't beneficially show your hand too early. If you feel yourself falling, DO NOT admit it unless you know for a fact that she feels the same way, through hints or outright saying it.

This reminds me of a Band song that has the following lyrics:

"My greatest mistake was loving you too much..and letting you know. Now you got me where you want me..and you won't let me go."


Good song..seems to fit with the above quote quite nicely.

 

[maverickghost]

The identity

The girls name was Valarie. She called to day and I ended it for good. I am free. Dating Meghan now and feel great. Thank God for rebounders. I harber no ill will toward her - she is just an addictive type. Good luck to her.

Thanks for all who supported me with your comments.

 

[maverick73]

The girls name was Valarie. She called to day and I ended it for good. I am free. Dating Meghan now and feel great. Thank God for rebounders. I harber no ill will toward her - she is just an addictive type. Good luck to her.

Thanks for all who supported me with your comments.

Ok no offense, but if you "loved her", and now just dumped her just like that and are ALREADY dating somebody the SAME DAY you just finished dumping your "ex" then IMHO you never really loved her. If you really love somebody, it usually takes a while before you can date somebody else seriously. Those feelings don't just go away overnight... if you truly love somebody, they never really go away.

Please don't take this post the wrong way. Love is complicated, but the feelings it creates are exciting! Best of luck in your search for true love. Keep us posted.

 

[maverickghost]

Ok no offense, but if you "loved her", and now just dumped her just like that and are ALREADY dating somebody the SAME DAY you just finished dumping your "ex" then IMHO you never really loved her. If you really love somebody, it usually takes a while before you can date somebody else seriously. Those feelings don't just go away overnight... if you truly love somebody, they never really go away.

Please don't take this post the wrong way. Love is complicated, but the feelings it creates are exciting! Best of luck in your search for true love. Keep us posted.

DOn't get me wrong. I will always love her. But I needed to move on man. We have a date - not dating so to speak. Sorry to mislead. The rebound is healthy in my book. Love is complicated for sure. Tired of being a jackass though. LOL.

 

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

No offense mate but that's not love.

You want her to be who you wish you had, not who she is. Or you want her for yourself, and you can't have her. That's what hurts. It ain't your broken heart.

If you love her it's ok she's a whore. You'll still love her. Maybe you won't screw her anymore for various reasons, but you'll still love her. In your case it wasn't love... it was desire and maybe possessive want. And now it's disappointment.

When you've loved a drunk from pre-drinking sober thru deathbed from aids/liver failure/general self-destruction, we can chat sensibly about love.

Been there done that: regular gal, married mother, single mom, SP, drug addict, alcoholic, sickly grandma, dead of self destruction. Insert "clean" between each of those periods. Loved her every inch of the way. Still do.

Well said AsianWay.
Just goes to show that someone with only 10 posts can contribute substantually greater than some with hundreds.

 

[maverick73]

The day I called "no joy"

In reference to the Commander Heatherly (aka Jester) words...

Don't you love how Top Gun can be applied to almost all facets of life?

 

[rollerboy]

The girls name was Valarie. She called to day and I ended it for good. I am free. Dating Meghan now and feel great.

Hey, that makes us practically related! Just kidding. You should edit your post and give both of these girls a little privacy. Also, don't refer to M as the "rebound girl" on your date, if you want dessert.

Ok no offense, but if you "loved her", and now just dumped her just like that and are ALREADY dating somebody the SAME DAY you just finished dumping your "ex" then IMHO you never really loved her. If you really love somebody, it usually takes a while before you can date somebody else seriously. Those feelings don't just go away overnight... if you truly love somebody, they never really go away.

The Lost Boys may shed some light on this:
"I think I should warn you all, when a <strike>vampire</strike> [lover] bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two <strike>bloodsuckers</strike> [lovers] go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them."

 

[BS Detector]

Ok no offense, but if you "loved her", and now just dumped her just like that and are ALREADY dating somebody the SAME DAY you just finished dumping your "ex" then IMHO you never really loved her. If you really love somebody, it usually takes a while before you can date somebody else seriously. Those feelings don't just go away overnight... if you truly love somebody, they never really go away.

That's exactly how I feel too. Not to knock you maverickghost, but more a reflection of the situation I was referring to. I agree it is healthy to move on but really, as above, those feeling do NOT go away overnight and in the situation I was referring to again, doubt they ever really will.

Lucy, you said that if it is bi-directional it is love but if it flows only one way, it is infatuation. Not going to argue that point but whether true or not, it still does not change how deeply one feels (whether returned or not), and how badly they hurt if it goes wrong.

 

[Maury Beniowski]

if you've met her kids and her mom, she's in :

I've lost count of how many Moms and kids I've met.

Maybe there's some truth in what you say...

But I'm getting so old now, there aren't many Moms left...

 

[maverickghost]

In a second

I have good days and bad ones. I would give my little "date" in a second if I knew my true love would realize that love is more important, and there are other methods to raise money. I just can't live in anguish anymore.