Moving SPECIAL: Last days in Slurrey!

[mistressfreyja]

Moving Special: $220/hr for all sessions, including any of my available services.
(Tell me a Surrey-girl joke, and reduce by $20.)

Avail: Only until Aug 30th.

Contact: 778 998 4441
freyja@mistressfreyja.net

Moving to Vancouver!

Yippeeeeeeeee!

Until then...

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

Is this offered?

Drive thru, as well?

(Note: If you don't find this amusing, I'll take it down).

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

 

[mistressfreyja]

Always the shit!

People, this boy DOES work for spanks. hee hee

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

Spanks in the bank, gaining interest?

I do not like sweet canes and wax,
I do not like them, thwacks and THWACKS!

=============

LMFAO!
This next goes not first on the humour page - (yet) - but soooo much the better here!
(Since I am playing the brat wurst...)

=======

A notable gynecologist once said,
"The best engine in the world is the vagina.
It can be started with one finger.
It is self-lubricating.
It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental."

 

[mistressfreyja]

...It's myyyyy prerogative...

That's a cute joke But, you try going through the hormones, and see if dancing through the field singing, "The hills are alive..." is your first inclination.


Since I'm on the SLurrey jokes, I will add one that my papa told me:

Q: What does a SLurrey kid get for xmas?
A: A Langley kid's bicycle.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding by a Slurrey female cop. The cop asks for the driver's licence....the blonde replies...."What's that? I can't find it... What does it look like?" The Slurrey girl cop sighs, rolls her eyes, and says...."it's the little square thing with your picture on it."

The blonde fumbles through her purse and finds her compact mirror, looks at it, and exclaims "Ohhhh! This has my picture on it, and hands it to lady cop. The Slurrey girl cop looks at it and goes "ohhhh, I didn't know you were a cop. You can go now"

 

[mistressfreyja]

Cringe...

I knew this was going to digress into SLurrey jokes.

My apologies now, on behalf of myself for propogating this, to anyone residing in SLurrey.

 

[bobo69z]

Why was Jesus not born in Surrey?

They could not find 3 wisemen and a virgin!!!

 

[viola]

How do Surrey girls part their hair?

They open their knees...

 

[mistressfreyja]

Thanx Beautiful!

So glad to be moving closer to you, too!

Glad you had some giggles

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

That's a cute joke But, you try going through the hormones, and see if dancing through the field singing, "The hills are alive..." is your first inclination.

Well, one point of the joke-metaphor that is often lost on the people
who've never rebuilt engines (or mowed a lawn!), is the extreme finnicky
nature of fixing/re-building many engines.

=======

Surrey?
A little known statistic about sLurrey:
Statistically, compared with Vancouver, Surrey has
more garbage dumps than lawyers per capita.
- - Why?

Surrey had first choice!

=======

Here's a webcam photo fom a recent bdsm scene between Mistress FreyJa and a female client.
The client took this discount offer, and look what happened!
- Is that ecstacy, or fear???

Speak German-Viking with me now... Ja! Ja! Ja!
Add the silly Norse-Meatball accent, and you've got it!

 

[Purrr VertIcal]

PS

I'm surprised I haven't been abducted and forced to slave help with the moving.
I've been waiting for the call...

Quick!
Turn to Book-of-Excuses-at-the-Ready, page sixty-eight!

 

[mistressfreyja]

Official Mover-Boy FOUND!

Please note that regular donation will apply.

KIDDING!!!

 

[mistressfreyja]

He was a fool on the Apprentice.

Andrew Dice Clay.

He lacked solid character. I can't say I respected him before the show, but frankly, he was such a loser on the Apprentice.

 

[FriendlyGiant]

Another One

Question:
How does a girl from Surrey turn on the lights after making love?

Answer:
She kicks open the Van door

(in a nice way)

 

[Delta_man]

Please note that regular donation will apply.

KIDDING!!!

It suddenly occured to me that a cheap yet rewarding solution for your move would be to arrange an assembly line. Have a friend manage your old place, and arrange for guys with vans to stop by at 2 hours intervals. They load up, and drive the contents to your new place where you are wating, strap in hand. After they have unloaded, you spank the hell out of them for their effort, and send them on their way.
Could be interesting and fun. I assume there are few regulars here with vans that would be interested.

 

[uncleg]

It suddenly occured to me that a cheap yet rewarding solution for your move would be to arrange an assembly line. Have a friend manage your old place, and arrange for guys with vans to stop by at 2 hours intervals. They load up, and drive the contents to your new place where you are wating, strap in hand. After they have unloaded, you spank the hell out of them for their effort, and send them on their way.
Could be interesting and fun. I assume there are few regulars here with vans that would be interested.

Or you could do this on your own. Just drive back and forth real fast and you would have her attention all day, getting a spanking at the end of each load. Mind you, it might get a bit tough to drive standing up towards the end of it.