LOL of the day
- Thread starter lenny
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Man Mountain, that is so funny, so well timed and so appropriate to the couple of written exchanges between VanCity_Cowboy and me regarding moving to Antarctica, as per post #477 in the "Merged C36" thread.For vancity_cowboy and Fullhouse
I truly laughed my ass off, ------- thank you very much for starting my day with a smile...:thumb:
But now, after viewing that video, I don't know where VC_Cowboy got the idea that there are no prostitutes in Antarctica. That blonde looked mighty fine to me, and I'm sure that after a couple of bottles of whiskey, she'd give one hell of a blow job....
fullhouse, she's only a blonde after the CLIENT consumes several bottles of whiskey... sober, she's just a normal ole penguin, prostituting herself for stones (unlike surrey broads, prostituting themselves for rock)Man Mountain, that is so funny, so well timed and so appropriate to the couple of written exchanges between VanCity_Cowboy and me regarding moving to Antarctica, as per post #477 in the "Merged C36" thread.
I truly laughed my ass off, ------- thank you very much for starting my day with a smile...:thumb:
But now, after viewing that video, I don't know where VC_Cowboy got the idea that there are no prostitutes in Antarctica. That blonde looked mighty fine to me, and I'm sure that after a couple of bottles of whiskey, she'd give one hell of a blow job....
The Mexican Maid
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
M aria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
Wife: "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora...."The gardener did."
Wife: "So, how much do you want?"
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did."
Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
M aria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
Wife: "And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora...."The gardener did."
Wife: "So, how much do you want?"
That is veerrrrry funny, vancity_cowboy..:clap2:fullhouse, she's only a blonde after the CLIENT consumes several bottles of whiskey... sober, she's just a normal ole penguin, prostituting herself for stones (unlike surrey broads, prostituting themselves for rock)
I didn't know that you had a great sense of humor......
Hell, I didn't know that you had ANY kind of sense.
"On a Tuesday night during October 2013, over 30 prostitutes were observed in the Hotel Lisboa lobby area openly soliciting sex from hotel and casino guests while the security guards watched. At one point some international guests who rented a room were literally being physically chased by prostitutes around the public lobby area and out into the Macau city street offering aggressively “sex massage” directly in view of the private hotel Lisboa security guards...."
"At one point during the busy part of a Tuesday night, approximately 30 males were standing outside of the Casino entrance watching the prostitutes walk by. It is similar to a public market except sex is for sale not fruit and vegetables. The males stood there and watched the girls walk by, When a male wanted to make a purchased he would motion at the woman and she would walk over. They would negotiate the details of the sale such as the price and time of sexual services. Then the prostitute tales the male up into a room that she had rented in the Hotel Lisboa to perform the services. The entire solicitation of sex for money was taking place in direct view of the hotel Lisboa security guards who were standing no more than 10 feet away."
http://www.thewhistlernews.com/2013/10/22/prostitution-solicitations-ok-at-lisboa-hotel-macau-2/
"At one point during the busy part of a Tuesday night, approximately 30 males were standing outside of the Casino entrance watching the prostitutes walk by. It is similar to a public market except sex is for sale not fruit and vegetables. The males stood there and watched the girls walk by, When a male wanted to make a purchased he would motion at the woman and she would walk over. They would negotiate the details of the sale such as the price and time of sexual services. Then the prostitute tales the male up into a room that she had rented in the Hotel Lisboa to perform the services. The entire solicitation of sex for money was taking place in direct view of the hotel Lisboa security guards who were standing no more than 10 feet away."
http://www.thewhistlernews.com/2013/10/22/prostitution-solicitations-ok-at-lisboa-hotel-macau-2/
At Christmas time, a kindergarten teacher was surrounded by little kids giving her presents.
Alice gave her a wrapped box.
Teacher smelled it and said, "let me guess your father is a baker."
"How could you tell?" Alice asked in an amazed tone.
"I can smell cookies in there."
Next, Bruce stepped forward and handed her a wrapped box.
Teacher shook it and said, "let me guess your father is has a china shop."
"How could you tell?" Bruce asked in an amazed tone.
Teacher, "I can hear the sound of china cups in there."
It went on and on and teacher kept on guessing everything perfectly correct. At the end of the line was Little Johnny.
So, Little Johnny stepped forward and carefully handed her a big box wrapped in a cloth.
Teacher took it in her hand, felt it around, smelled it a bit and then she licked her fingers and said, "Let me guess, your father owns wine business and before you ask me how do I know. Let me tell you that some wine has spilled and I can tell by tasting it on my fingers."
Little Johnny said, "I am afraid you are wrong this time Miss Blondie, my father owns a pet shop and inside the cloth there is a puppy inside a cage."
Alice gave her a wrapped box.
Teacher smelled it and said, "let me guess your father is a baker."
"How could you tell?" Alice asked in an amazed tone.
"I can smell cookies in there."
Next, Bruce stepped forward and handed her a wrapped box.
Teacher shook it and said, "let me guess your father is has a china shop."
"How could you tell?" Bruce asked in an amazed tone.
Teacher, "I can hear the sound of china cups in there."
It went on and on and teacher kept on guessing everything perfectly correct. At the end of the line was Little Johnny.
So, Little Johnny stepped forward and carefully handed her a big box wrapped in a cloth.
Teacher took it in her hand, felt it around, smelled it a bit and then she licked her fingers and said, "Let me guess, your father owns wine business and before you ask me how do I know. Let me tell you that some wine has spilled and I can tell by tasting it on my fingers."
Little Johnny said, "I am afraid you are wrong this time Miss Blondie, my father owns a pet shop and inside the cloth there is a puppy inside a cage."
Will Ferrell Hilarious Acceptance Speech At The Mark Twain Comedy Award 2011
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guc-8R1bYVg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guc-8R1bYVg
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