Leading someone on... or not

[Asian Fever]

I am totally onside with Charlee - a person shouldn't have to put up with harassment in their workplace ever, not by a manager, coworker or customer.

How is asking someone one time politely, "Hey, would you like to go out sometime with me?" harassment? It's a simple question.

If she says no and he keeps bothering her then that is totally different and I agree, but that's not the conversation we are having here.

 

[johnnydepth]

 

[maniacalone]

I'd be interested to know if he asked her out on an out of the ordinary sweep her off her feet date or if he asked her out for a walk and coffee or netflix/chill date. We get paid to be romanced so coffee/walk dates can seem like a huge waste of time to escorts and even civvie chics roll their eyes at them. Do you know how much time we take and money we spend getting ready for dates? So maybe after weeks of texting and him telling her how much he liked her but not offering to take her on a really amazing date she got bored and realized he was never going to step up and provide her something she can't provide for herself. A really amazing date.

But I don't know so I could be totally wrong.

Either way, she got bored and no longer takes him seriously and he should move on.

The monetization of love and the value of your time. Who says romance is dead?

A world of transactional relationships is all we will be left with if "ordinary" is not good enough and we reach a stage where a man cannot simply ask a woman out for a walk to get to know her better.

 

[johnnydepth]

Seemed appropriate so I had to share it yet again.

 

[Asian Fever]

Seemed appropriate so I had to share it yet again.

That's probably the funniest thing I have seen in a while. Truth be told, I legit know couples like this and they are totally fine with it. If they are happy, that's all that matters.

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

Seemed appropriate so I had to share it yet again.

Wow. Damn. This hits different now that I am a pooner.

Wow.

Damn.

Let me go gather my thoughts a little bit

 

[The Caffeinated Gent]

That's probably the funniest thing I have seen in a while. Truth be told, I legit know couples like this and they are totally fine with it. If they are happy, that's all that matters.

Is the dude actually happy though? In this movie the guy was numb and idk if he was happy sitting there listening to his girl getting pounded. I know this is a comedy and I haven't seen it yet, but I think most guys are not gonna be happy, or at least, not be loyal and sweet like this to their partner lol

 

[PuntMeister]

 

[Asian Fever]

Is the dude actually happy though? In this movie the guy was numb and idk if he was happy sitting there listening to his girl getting pounded. I know this is a comedy and I haven't seen it yet, but I think most guys are not gonna be happy, or at least, not be loyal and sweet like this to their partner lol

Yeah they are super happy and have a really healthy relationship. I know two couples like this. One even books the appointments for his wife. It can kinda be like the porn business, it's different on the other side of the fence. Likewise the guys in these relationships are free to meet escorts etc and be totally upfront about it. It's true honesty. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[yogilover]

I am married to a SP and I can tell you, they will let you know if they are interested in you. I had dated a few before her and was given clear signals like.... " i'm single and ' you want to go dancing?' I would never have embarrassed myself by asking first. They are real women outside of work, but when working they are fulfilling male fantasies, you'd probably be disappointed cause you won't be dating the fantasy you been hiring.

 

[Bde]

I gotta say I agree with Charlee on this one. It seems a bit surprising the inherent dangers and risks SP's face regularly are, what appears to be, glossed over; or at the least somewhat minimized. It's really not hard to imagine why an SP would feel uncomfortable to be in a situation where she had to deny a clients advances. It is equally not hard to also imagine a situation where a client becomes violent upon being rejected, even when let down easy. Hell, if "civvie" women are freaked the fuck out to shoot down rando dudes out of fear for their reaction, how much more stressful would that be after being intimate with that person and knowing they are emotionally attached?
Face it, it's not as if we men as a whole have a stellar fucking reputation at being all cool headed when it comes to how we cope with negative emotion. The reputation has been earned over and over. Pretending like this rep isn't a thing is simply playing pretend with reality. I mean shit, twice already today I've read people write "Oh it's all about the money?"
Ummm the fuck? Yeah it is cause 1) Don't let your delusions twist the fact that this is a business. You approached the SP, offered cash for sex. Done and done. 2) She never tricked you with sex to get your money. No deception. No nothing other than mutually agreed upon rules. You got it backwards and you're changing the rules.
Fuck I could only imagine how scary and uncomfortable it must be to be an SP and put in that situation. I'd never want to be that guy to put someone in that position. It would probably feel worse knowing I put that fear on to someone else then any rejection could cause.

 

[Andrew69913]

"she said she was interested and then lost interest! she led me on!"
wow, lol, women don't owe you anything. we don't owe you communication, we don't owe you an explanation. tell your friend to move on.

I've had multi-year, serious relationships that ended this way lol. The "dumpee", so to speak, is often left asking "why?" are they not? I used to let it drive me crazy, now I just understand that's the way it goes.

 

[Andrew69913]

If they think I’m an idiot, tell me to fuck off immediately so I can save us both a lot of wasted time.

Very few people are this direct in my experience, unless of course they are complete a-holes. People tend to avoid hurting others feelings in direct confrontations, to the point of putting themselves in extreme discomfort. I would take the non-communication as a hint and move on before he digs himself a deeper hole. If someone really wants to be with you...they will make some effort to spend time with you.

 

[g eazy]

It is a very slippery slope and a mentally unhealthy thing when you start becoming responsible for other people's feelings. The best thing is to be completely transparent.

 

[Andrew69913]

I'm more with AF's view point on this topic as a whole though. I don't deal in absolute's or ultimatums, they only lead to hypocrisy. It's NOT inappropriate to ask out a co-worker or anything of the sort, and to say so is labelling people as unable to control themselves. I'm pretty sure you know where you can go with that view point. It's just not real. Most of my friends in long term relationships met AT WORK!!! It's really common...it kinda happens when people spend time together and get to know each other. From what AF has said I guess it happens in the sex industry as well......go figure.

 

[Andrew69913]

The monetization of love and the value of your time. Who says romance is dead?

A world of transactional relationships is all we will be left with if "ordinary" is not good enough and we reach a stage where a man cannot simply ask a woman out for a walk to get to know her better.

My mind went this way at first too....but then I thought we are talking about a first date here.....a little wow-ing is normally in order. If you want to be wow-ed every time however...you had better return the favor...and your skills in the bedroom aren't gonna be enough on their own.

 

[ExpCharlee]

I've had multi-year, serious relationships that ended this way lol. The "dumpee", so to speak, is often left asking "why?" are they not? I used to let it drive me crazy, now I just understand that's the way it goes.

That is very different than this my guy

 

[Andrew69913]

That is very different than this my guy

It may very well be. I meant that as a general statement about moving on, because we rarely get the answers we are looking for. The fact that his friend felt the need to come here and talk about it has me believing this may be more than normal interest in a person....but I'm really trying to not be so skeptical about life and people. I do see what you see in this particular case, but I require a little more flesh to a story before I'm sure though. I also appreciate the dangers you are speaking of about telling someone no (i.e. recent attack at massage parlor). This type of behavior isn't the norm though is it? How often do you have to ban someone for bad behavior? I ask because I really have no idea how often you have to deal with really bad behavior. I mean bad, not just because the dude liked Erin O'Toole. Do you really feel in that much danger?

 

[maniacalone]

It may very well be. I meant that as a general statement about moving on, because we rarely get the answers we are looking for. The fact that his friend felt the need to come here and talk about it has me believing this may be more than normal interest in a person....but I'm really trying to not be so skeptical about life and people. I do see what you see in this particular case, but I require a little more flesh to a story before I'm sure though. I also appreciate the dangers you are speaking of about telling someone no (i.e. recent attack at massage parlor). This type of behavior isn't the norm though is it? How often do you have to ban someone for bad behavior? I ask because I really have no idea how often you have to deal with really bad behavior. I mean bad, not just because the dude liked Erin O'Toole. Do you really feel in that much danger?

A good question for a new thread. How often in a week or sample size does a provider refuse a person and have to ask them to leave?

 

[yogilover]

Sounds like it dragged on for a while. maybe she lost interest or even met someone else. It's not good to make assumptions.

Who really knows. If you want my advice, if you like them, ask them out. Don't waste time. Making an appointment with a girl is not dating.. although it can serve to get to know eachother first. if you like eachother move it to the real world, and if the girl is interested she will agree.

Also keep in mind that girls are somewhat expected to give some illusion of fantasy, however they are still normal people who develop feelings. If you like it put a ring on it, don't dottle

Girls get boyfriends and get married all the time. It's so common that it's not even a discussion. Being involved in the sex industry affects that 0% other than many guys not being mature enough to handle it.

Don't assume that girls will retire for you.if they think that is what you want that may remove any chance of a relationship. Most girls will break it off if they think the choice will be a good income and self sufficiency, or dating you as the two options. Guys tend to get some sort of weird saviour complex. The girls most certainly make more money than you do and are doing quite well on their own. If you want to be a boyfriend, that means being supportive.

Lots of guys can handle it, and many can't. With a divorce rate of 50%, I'm not sure much argument can really be made for monogony. If you ask me, a lifetime of multiple partners concented to by your significant other and as many threesomes as you want doesn't seem like that bad of a lifestyle choice.

Maybe I veered slightly off the original topic there lol.

His reaction to feel like she was leading him on just seems like a lack of confidence, which in its self is not attractive to the opposite sex.if she's not into you, suck it up, puff your chest out, and move on. Her loss. Generally when you take this road, the phone rings unexpectedly . Sending desperate messages will have the opposite of the intended effect. Play it cool. It works out or it doesn't

well said, I am married to one and it works because I know thr differance between love and sex. she makes twice as much as I do which means we will beable to enjoy a happy retirement rather than poverty!!