intimacy is hard don't you think,
there is a school of thought out there that thinks you have to learn how to love,
even a documentary suggested as much.
my opinion is you have to have the right frame of mind. and well unfortunately some people never get there.
I was with my sp yesterday well over the last month or so, we were having a difficult time, it would have been easy to say fuck that, or I'm out, shit I'm not married why care or give a rats.
but when something goes wrong usually me and my sp say my fault. both of us.
but a few things happened of late. that really stresses the trust part of us, not going to go into details but it would have been easy to say fuck this for either one of us.
its funny marriage is like a war zone early on, both staking claim to certain things power struggles right over the remote or finances etc etc. endless actually.
mostly insecurities or ego or something, maybe just lack of maturity.
but my relationship with my sp, is hard, harder I think actually because we don't argue, we rely on trust. trust in our friendship trust that there are more reasons to keep this going then to stop.
it requires a whole hell of a lot of trust confidence that is quite often lacking especially when younger
I think when I was younger marriage was something to do, build a family a life. etc, your young caught up in all of that, its nice but over rated,
like I said marriage resembles a war zone for long periods of time. staking out ground and territory, and were bound together by a licence kids a mortgage, and shit who has time for intimacy when your working long ours running kids around to hockey practice dance coaching whatever.
your life is your kids, that is all that matters for many many years.
then one day your kids are grown up moved out and you look at this person, in your house, who are you god you have gotten old and not a lot of fun any more. it seems like a shit load of water has gone under the bridge. that you will never get back,
I know its not fare, but its easy to grow apart. you get married for one thing kids and family and you have done that, kids are gone, now what.
yeah its stupid were all stupid,
especially when were twenty, ask some twenty something about intimacy and soul mate, and a guy his response is well good sex and what ever the hell he has to do, to keep having good sex. what the hell do we know about intimacy at twenty,,
its hard its hard at the best of times but when your young I don't think very many people have the were with all to grasp it.
i don't think i did until much latter. until the pressures of family kids and job were out of the way, could i relax and think about such things. and found something was missing.
its hard and easy with my sp at the same time,
because we don't have all of life/s little struggles and drudgeries to deal with, we cheat in some ways. we cheat in a lot of ways.
i have no idea where her and me will end up. no rush to find out either, like i said were cheating in some ways, not fighting about the remote money what to do for Christmas all the shit that happens,
we just get together relax and enjoy the moment. yeah it is easy. but also so very easy to loose or screw with to.
i think it takes a lot of confidence to be intimate to have a good life. and its unfortunate that confidence is something lacking at times.
you look at kids from an upper elite school or a social economic point of view and shit there cool confident, relaxed they just ooze, I got this, the world is mine.
you look at kids from a lower economic and social status, and there loud vulgar, rude crude but underneath it there afraid. they have nothing and never will will and they dam well know it. no confidence,
whether its social and economic or hereditary or what, but you look at two kids from different sides of the street and you will see a world of difference, and a world of difference in the way there lives turn out.
I'm from the wrong side of the street white trash, but have been very fortunate and lucky, i have done well but god i struggle
intimacy is hard dam hard.
there is a school of thought out there that thinks you have to learn how to love,
even a documentary suggested as much.
my opinion is you have to have the right frame of mind. and well unfortunately some people never get there.
I was with my sp yesterday well over the last month or so, we were having a difficult time, it would have been easy to say fuck that, or I'm out, shit I'm not married why care or give a rats.
but when something goes wrong usually me and my sp say my fault. both of us.
but a few things happened of late. that really stresses the trust part of us, not going to go into details but it would have been easy to say fuck this for either one of us.
its funny marriage is like a war zone early on, both staking claim to certain things power struggles right over the remote or finances etc etc. endless actually.
mostly insecurities or ego or something, maybe just lack of maturity.
but my relationship with my sp, is hard, harder I think actually because we don't argue, we rely on trust. trust in our friendship trust that there are more reasons to keep this going then to stop.
it requires a whole hell of a lot of trust confidence that is quite often lacking especially when younger
I think when I was younger marriage was something to do, build a family a life. etc, your young caught up in all of that, its nice but over rated,
like I said marriage resembles a war zone for long periods of time. staking out ground and territory, and were bound together by a licence kids a mortgage, and shit who has time for intimacy when your working long ours running kids around to hockey practice dance coaching whatever.
your life is your kids, that is all that matters for many many years.
then one day your kids are grown up moved out and you look at this person, in your house, who are you god you have gotten old and not a lot of fun any more. it seems like a shit load of water has gone under the bridge. that you will never get back,
I know its not fare, but its easy to grow apart. you get married for one thing kids and family and you have done that, kids are gone, now what.
yeah its stupid were all stupid,
especially when were twenty, ask some twenty something about intimacy and soul mate, and a guy his response is well good sex and what ever the hell he has to do, to keep having good sex. what the hell do we know about intimacy at twenty,,
its hard its hard at the best of times but when your young I don't think very many people have the were with all to grasp it.
i don't think i did until much latter. until the pressures of family kids and job were out of the way, could i relax and think about such things. and found something was missing.
its hard and easy with my sp at the same time,
because we don't have all of life/s little struggles and drudgeries to deal with, we cheat in some ways. we cheat in a lot of ways.
i have no idea where her and me will end up. no rush to find out either, like i said were cheating in some ways, not fighting about the remote money what to do for Christmas all the shit that happens,
we just get together relax and enjoy the moment. yeah it is easy. but also so very easy to loose or screw with to.
i think it takes a lot of confidence to be intimate to have a good life. and its unfortunate that confidence is something lacking at times.
you look at kids from an upper elite school or a social economic point of view and shit there cool confident, relaxed they just ooze, I got this, the world is mine.
you look at kids from a lower economic and social status, and there loud vulgar, rude crude but underneath it there afraid. they have nothing and never will will and they dam well know it. no confidence,
whether its social and economic or hereditary or what, but you look at two kids from different sides of the street and you will see a world of difference, and a world of difference in the way there lives turn out.
I'm from the wrong side of the street white trash, but have been very fortunate and lucky, i have done well but god i struggle
intimacy is hard dam hard.
