I made the mistake of opening up (anonymously) in a relationship-related reddit group about my deal. Specifically, that after spending years in pretty happy marriage where the bedroom was dead, I resorted to renting temporary satisfaction from SP's. Otherwise, my wife, job, kids, cars, finances, house, cats, dogs, vacation, life, etc are all happy. Just a broken sex life that I was powerless to mend.
Eventually, though some degree of communication and collaboration and manipulation, the wife and I began to see some improvements in the bedroom. I'm content; she's content. It's not perfect but I'm satisfied and am not seeing SP's anymore.
...well the reaction I got on reddit was pitchforks and torches. I was a monster and a fucking broken mess of a human being.
Am I a monster? Now I'm worried that I'm some kind of sociopath because I don't *feel* like a monster.