"I'm not an escort...but I'm OK with being paid to date"

[1nitestan]

A long but interesting read:

http://www.theverge.com/2016/7/14/12183012/ohlala-paid-dating-app-berlin-pia-poppenreiter-uber

 

[girth-brooks]

Personally, I'd rather just stick with escorts.

 

[vanperb]

A long but interesting read:

http://www.theverge.com/2016/7/14/12183012/ohlala-paid-dating-app-berlin-pia-poppenreiter-uber

Again, paying money to be stuck in the friend zone still seems like a cruel and unusual form of self punishment. It probably has something with me still having a sex drive though.

 

[Larry Storch]

It seeks to turn leisure time — a precious, dwindling commodity — into billable hours.

Since when did anyone's spare time become a commodity?

In that sense, Poppenreiter’s right: her app isn’t really an "Uber for escorts." It’s a TaskRabbit for emotional labor.

Emotional labour? I'm writing that one down.

 

[ezsmile]

I couldn't read the whole article, I felt my time was worth more being spent on something else. Like writing this post.

I personally would have a lot of reservations about paying someone to go have dinner with me. They get a good meal and drinks and I have to pay them to do that? So I wonder what would happen if I offered some money to someone, just to sit there while I ate my dinner, and maybe drank some wine. they would not get to eat or drink (or if they wanted to they pay their own bill). They would have to listen to everything I wanted to say, but could only respond if I wanted them to. Once I was finished eating, they would be free to leave.

How ridiculous would that be?

 

[resercher]

There are literally thousands of services similar to this one.


I personally do not understand it myself but it seems that some men

feel the need to have a fake girlfriend due to social or family pressure

here is the advertising heading from one such sight. In this one you never actually meet the girl. I have removed the name of the service and the links .
the first 3 lines of the text might give some idea as to why some men do this and there are the same type of services for women as well.





Tired of your friends and family telling you to get a girlfriend?
Want to make that certain someone a little jealous?
Need a confidence boost? Just feeling lonely sometimes?

With our service you can carry on a completely fictitious, yet authentic looking relationship with the girl of your choice.

Browse through our site and choose your favorite girl to see what she can offer .

Just make up how you met and include any details about yourself that you want your new girlfriend to know. Within days you'll receive personalized love letters by mail, e-mails, photos, special gifts... even phone messages or online chat.



The girls are real. The relationship is not. When your time is up you can break up with her for whatever reason you decide, and she'll write you a final letter begging you to take her back. Our service is easy-to-use, lots of fun, and discreet. The privacy of our customers and girls is always protected.

Go ahead, use our service . We won't tell anyone that it's not real!

 

[westwoody]

paying money to be stuck in the friend zone.

You are not in a friend zone with the women in that article.
It's an out call to a restaurant instead of a hotel room, but an escort nonetheless.
How hard would it be for the women themselves to have a normal relationship, once they start putting a price on their "emotional labour"?

A semi retired lady called me up once and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. There was no mention or expectation of sex. We had dinner and I paid, no problem. But when I dropped her off at her place she asked for a tip.
This is my issue: the ladies get so accustomed to being compensated for their time they expect it all the time.

 

[1nitestan]

A semi retired lady called me up once and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. There was no mention or expectation of sex. We had dinner and I paid, no problem. But when I dropped her off at her place she asked for a tip.
This is my issue: the ladies get so accustomed to being compensated for their time they expect it all the time.

They may stop being escorts but their brains are so messed up that they can't grasp the concept of just spending time with people. Friendships are always doubted and there has to be some material gain for one person of the other.

 

[resercher]

It's not just escorts that think like that

Westwoody .

When I was in university I had a classmate a women in her 30's

That i borrowed class notes from once Lets just say most men would not find her attractive
I got the information from the notes and gave them back
I asked her if she wanted anything for the notes she said she did not .
She told me that there was a movie related to the material in the class and suggested that we should see it . To my mind this was not a date . I felt it might help me understand the course work better . We each paid our own way into the theater . In the theater she then said to me Just as the movie was starting " you are buying me popcorn "

puzzled I said no I am not besides the move is starting .
I had no idea why she felt I was going to buy her popcorn and she was quite upset about it .

From the speech I later got from her the next day she told me that it was unfair . That if she had been a more attractive woman I would have bough her the popcorn .
Which would not have been the case . I mean yes maybe because she was unattractive I did not see her as sexually desirable If I had been ordered to spend money on her like this woman did to me from a more attractive woman. I would have still said no . It had nothing to do with the cost of the popcorn she wanted . It was about $5 . I just was not going to have someone tell me " you are buying me this " This was not something I could not convince her of however. So I just walked away from her rant.


it seems some women see physical beauty. As something that gives privileged access to resources from men . Like being a member of some sort of high ranking nobility used to be for resources in the past . They also fully believe that they are entitled to those resources because of there physical appearance. This is also I believe why the make up and beauty industry makes so much money some women truly believe that good looks = power over men.

I also think this is part of the reason. That a lot of women do not like the sex industry . They hate the fact that if a man want's sex he can cut out the bullshit and just make a one time payment for what he wants.

 

[westwoody]

Entitlement is strong among so many. If she had been more polite she probably would have got the popcorn, right?
Like you, I have no problem sharing or spending money for a good time.
But as soon as someone starts expecting or demanding something I get pissed off.

The most attractive girl I know is quite humble about it. And that, to me, makes her even more attractive.

 

[Katie]

If she lent you the notes that she took it saved you a lot of time and brought you up to date, the least you could have done was buy her some popcorn. This made you look like a cheap bastard.

I disagree actually. Not meaning to offend anyone but I do favors for people because I want to, not with the expectation of getting something in return. If she was lending the notes and in her mind it was part of a business arrangement she should have stated that up front, IMHO.

I do agree that most men would at least ask if the lady joining them wanted anything from the concession stand, but her demand as it was portrayed in the post would have turned most people off and she would have been denied. There is always a nice way to ask for something, a little kindness goes a long way.

 

[InTheBum]

Again, paying money to be stuck in the friend zone still seems like a cruel and unusual form of self punishment. It probably has something with me still having a sex drive though.

I agree 100%! I understand guys needing a date for a function etc., but for common dating with no chance of sex or growing a relationship...WOT and complete WOM!!! Any guy would feel like he is being used unless he has zero confidence...

 

[Tugela]

I couldn't read the whole article, I felt my time was worth more being spent on something else. Like writing this post.

I personally would have a lot of reservations about paying someone to go have dinner with me. They get a good meal and drinks and I have to pay them to do that? So I wonder what would happen if I offered some money to someone, just to sit there while I ate my dinner, and maybe drank some wine. they would not get to eat or drink (or if they wanted to they pay their own bill). They would have to listen to everything I wanted to say, but could only respond if I wanted them to. Once I was finished eating, they would be free to leave.

How ridiculous would that be?

The purpose is to have interesting company who you find pleasant on the eye. It is part of the whole dinner experience, provided that you can find someone who can meet those criteria. The art of conversation has value, so people will sell it and it will have a market.

I don't see what is odd about it, it is no different from hiring an escort or a personal trainer or a public speaker to keynote your event.

 

[Tugela]

They may stop being escorts but their brains are so messed up that they can't grasp the concept of just spending time with people. Friendships are always doubted and there has to be some material gain for one person of the other.

You have a pretty dismal view of escorts dude. They are people too you know.

 

[76duster]

It's not just escorts that think like that

Westwoody .

When I was in university I had a classmate a women in her 30's

That i borrowed class notes from once Lets just say most men would not find her attractive
I got the information from the notes and gave them back
I asked her if she wanted anything for the notes she said she did not .
She told me that there was a movie related to the material in the class and suggested that we should see it . To my mind this was not a date . I felt it might help me understand the course work better . We each paid our own way into the theater . In the theater she then said to me Just as the movie was starting " you are buying me popcorn "

puzzled I said no I am not besides the move is starting .
I had no idea why she felt I was going to buy her popcorn and she was quite upset about it .

From the speech I later got from her the next day she told me that it was unfair . That if she had been a more attractive woman I would have bough her the popcorn .
Which would not have been the case . I mean yes maybe because she was unattractive I did not see her as sexually desirable If I had been ordered to spend money on her like this woman did to me from a more attractive woman. I would have still said no . It had nothing to do with the cost of the popcorn she wanted . It was about $5 . I just was not going to have someone tell me " you are buying me this " This was not something I could not convince her of however. So I just walked away from her rant.


it seems some women see physical beauty. As something that gives privileged access to resources from men . Like being a member of some sort of high ranking nobility used to be for resources in the past . They also fully believe that they are entitled to those resources because of there physical appearance. This is also I believe why the make up and beauty industry makes so much money some women truly believe that good looks = power over men.

I also think this is part of the reason. That a lot of women do not like the sex industry . They hate the fact that if a man want's sex he can cut out the bullshit and just make a one time payment for what he wants.

She was unattractive yet she demanded you buy her popcorn? When she said, "you'd buy me popcorn if I was more attractive", you should've responded, "and now you're even less attractive".

I agree that a lot of women don't like the sex industry because it cuts them out of the picture when men can just buy what they want. The same also goes for restaurants, it cuts out the woman from being the provider of cooked food. In fact, men's power has come from the ability to do things but women's power has come from having power over men. That's a situation that puts them in the subordinate position. So all these females fighting for equality should just shut up about society owing them things and get to work like men do. The fact of the matter is, that makes it a man's world and if they are ruining our lives is because we've either personally let them or we've made laws so that they can take advantage of us.

 

[Larry Storch]

(snip)
So I wonder what would happen if I offered some money to someone, just to sit there while I ate my dinner, and maybe drank some wine. they would not get to eat or drink (or if they wanted to they pay their own bill). They would have to listen to everything I wanted to say, but could only respond if I wanted them to. Once I was finished eating, they would be free to leave.

How ridiculous would that be?

Actually there are probably guys out there that would pay you for that service.
Submissives.

 

[vanperb]

You have a pretty dismal view of escorts dude. They are people too you know.

Having known a few escorts inside and outside of billable hours, having a convoluted value system concerning affection, time, and sex is not outside the norm. In fact, there have been several articles written about retired escorts finding personal relationships unsatisfying because they were quietly calculating how much time they were spending with the SO using their old rates. Or how certain sex acts weren't performed anymore because it would have been an extra in their previous life. Of course it's every ones right decide what they will or won't do, but how they calculate the value of it is what really changes...

 

[vanperb]

You are not in a friend zone with the women in that article.
It's an out call to a restaurant instead of a hotel room, but an escort nonetheless.
How hard would it be for the women themselves to have a normal relationship, once they start putting a price on their "emotional labour"?

A semi retired lady called me up once and asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. There was no mention or expectation of sex. We had dinner and I paid, no problem. But when I dropped her off at her place she asked for a tip.
This is my issue: the ladies get so accustomed to being compensated for their time they expect it all the time.

Ouch. When that happens... Doesn't it get lonely? I mean there's constant attention but your game face is constantly on when someone is around, and there's no real 'off time'.

I have a lawyer I have drinks with from time to time. They have my business so when we're out they're an unwritten rule we never talk about business. Maybe I'm just naive and they're just doing these off hour meeting as client relationship management. Mind you, if you're meeting an escort outside billable hours wouldn't the paranoia of client management be even more prevalent?

 

[1nitestan]

You have a pretty dismal view of escorts dude. They are people too you know.

Dude I don't make this shit up. I've had some very rewarding friendships with women both active in the business and retired. They all have related sentiments to varying degrees, of " how much money they used to make just for spending time with someone"

 

[Tugela]

Having known a few escorts inside and outside of billable hours, having a convoluted value system concerning affection, time, and sex is not outside the norm. In fact, there have been several articles written about retired escorts finding personal relationships unsatisfying because they were quietly calculating how much time they were spending with the SO using their old rates. Or how certain sex acts weren't performed anymore because it would have been an extra in their previous life. Of course it's every ones right decide what they will or won't do, but how they calculate the value of it is what really changes...

Because some might do that, and write about it, does not mean that all do that. Being an escort is no different from any other job. If you are a plumber, do you constantly fret about doing small jobs for friends after retirement, or refuse because you wont be paid? Why do you think that SPs are somehow different from everyone else?