I think being married or even divorced with kids is good for your career

[poorboyv6]

I work for a very conservative company, and based on my observations as a single guy, I think being married, or even divorced with kids helps your career, not by showing competency, but by showing you are relatively normal compared to the rest of society.

As a single male in my early 40's, I get the odd occasional question why I am not married with kids. I think they think I'm an oddball because I'm not in a relationship.

 

[kickback]

They probably want to know if you smoke pole or not. I work with a bunch if single men and women in their early 40's and everyone just assumes the ones that are not divorced play for the other team. It's pretty much accepted in the workplace now so you should'nt worry about it.

 

[bcneil]

I think its a double edged sword. There are people I work with that think because I am single, that I am off on the weekends sleeping with escorts and having fun. Its all true, but thats not the point. So there will always be problems with people who think everyone should be just like them.
I find there can also be spitefulness, we all pretty much make around the same at my job. Of course I have more spending money for fun, than the married guy with 3 kids and stay at home wife. "must be nice to be able to afford to go to Vegas all the time"

However, I am the one who can come in most Saturdays at a moments notice. I can be sent off to Ottawa the week before xmas.
I once was asked to go to Regina for a week long seminar, where I would also have to give a 30 minute presentation, that I had never seen.
3 hours before the plane was ready to take off!!! The dad that was suppose to be going had to cancel same day, cause both his wife and son got a flu.
I said sure, got a once over of the presentation, then swung by my place to pack clothes and water my plants, off to Regina.

 

[Justin Beaver]

That a good point.I've been single quite a lot and several previous relationships have been in the casual category plus I've been completely single for the last couple years so I go solo to the workplace social functions.I had one co-workers wife ask me straight out if I'm gay which caught me a bit off guard and others kind of inquiring about my relationship status which I now can say that I'm a happy singleton.

I've also noticed that when it's time for layoffs,the single guys always seem to be the expendable ones,all else being equal.

 

[luvsdaty]

That a good point.I've been single quite a lot and several previous relationships have been in the casual category plus I've been completely single for the last couple years so I go solo to the workplace social functions.I had one co-workers wife ask me straight out if I'm gay which caught me a bit off guard and others kind of inquiring about my relationship status which I now can say that I'm a happy singleton.

I've also noticed that when it's time for layoffs,the single guys always seem to be the expendable ones,all else being equal.

True, but you usually get all the overtime you want when your single as the married folks have commitments to their family/kids(at least in my case) In my sector of work(trades) nobody cares if you've been single for a long time,usually talking about sp's is usually a pretty open subject.I've told buddies about my pooning & nobody seems very shocked about it.

 

[Justin Beaver]

True, but you usually get all the overtime you want when your single as the married folks have commitments to their family/kids(at least in my case) In my sector of work(trades) nobody cares if you've been single for a long time,usually talking about sp's is usually a pretty open subject.I've told buddies about my pooning & nobody seems very shocked about it.

That sounds like it should be true about the overtime but I've found that the opposite happens in my line of work which is also in trades.It seems like the married guys don't want to give up their share of overtime probably due to financial obligations that come with families like new vehicles for the missus and toys like travel trailers and boats as well as family vacations.
Also,there's a couple of guys who I think like the overtime as it gets them away from their wives for a few evenings a week.

I have'nt told any of my co-workers about this as there are one or two gossip mongers who would be sure to tell everyone else at work if they knew.Not that would be the end of the world but I'd prefer it not to be general knowledge at my workplace.I have told a couple of my close friends about it as well as one female friend and they think it's great for the most part.

 

[ezsmile]

As a single guy I find I get more of the travel. I don't necessarily want it, but it is what it is. I once had my boss tell me that his wife had reminded him that he had spent x days on the road that year and that he had to cut back. I didn't say anything but if he was spending x days I was spending x times 1.5, but I was the single guy so the assumption was that it didn't matter.

 

[87112]

Just tell the noisy ones its my business and mine only. Married people are some of the most boring fucks on earth, always checking on the single people to get their status.

 

[bcneil]

Just tell the noisy ones its my business and mine only. Married people are some of the most boring fucks on earth, always checking on the single people to get their status.

It can be creepy. Tomorrow morning a coworker might ask me what I did for the weekend.
I will tell him it was a pretty dull weekend. Watched the olympics and went out for brunch Sunday.
If I ask him about his weekend, he will tell me his son went rollerblading and his daughter went shopping.
I swear I know way too much about some of my coworkers kids. I know everything they do, every class they take, every mark they get.
I probably know more about my coworkers, 15 year old daughters boyfriend, than I do my own nephew.
It bores me to tears some days. Probably 3-5 hours a week listening to mundane things that their children do.

Sure if your kid wins the science fair or scores the winning goal tell me about it. But if your son had a friend come over in the afternoon and they played some playstation, keep that one to yourself.

 

[InTheBum]

I work for a very conservative company, and based on my observations as a single guy, I think being married, or even divorced with kids helps your career, not by showing competency, but by showing you are relatively normal compared to the rest of society.

As a single male in my early 40's, I get the odd occasional question why I am not married with kids. I think they think I'm an oddball because I'm not in a relationship.

If I get some lame married person asking me a question like that...I simply reply asking them a question like:

Why are you in a boring marriage? You don't like having sex with good looking young women???


Trust me...it quickly shuts them up...and if not, you can take it a step further and say things like....Have you noticed that most married people are really boring and lame?

 

[87112]

Poorboyv6, I am the same age range you are. Everyone has a different fate in life. Not everyone gets married at 28, has 2 kids and happily ever after. Some marry some never, fate is cruel and out of our control. To nag someone over their fate is pretty nasty. I've felt it and recently hit my effing limit. For me the next person at work to be in my biz will get a earful, dont be polite and get the point across that you are there for work and not for their entertainment. Put it where you Dont get fired thou, remember that.

I think next week I am going to shut up 3 to 4 people that nag my mother fucking ear off.

 

[87112]

So I've sent 3 emails to people in my office that If I get another question or remark about my private life I will be charging them with Harassment. I've had to endure smug married people's shit for years and my lid blew last week.

 

[blazejowski]

So I've sent 3 emails to people in my office that If I get another question or remark about my private life I will be charging them with Harassment. I've had to endure smug married people's shit for years and my lid blew last week.

Cause THAT won't raise any eyebrows, or raise some gossip in the office...

 

[87112]

Thats ok with me, if I can get one of the assholes fired or lose pay with harassment charges I'll take it.

 

[InTheBum]

So I've sent 3 emails to people in my office that If I get another question or remark about my private life I will be charging them with Harassment. I've had to endure smug married people's shit for years and my lid blew last week.

:clap2::clap2::clap2:ound:ound:ound::thumb::doh::fear:

 

[InTheBum]

I went to an all inclusive family resort in Mexico on vacation a few years ago. When I booked the trip, all I wanted to do was find somewhere hot and sunny where I could lay by the pool/ocean and rest. (and drink endless Mimosa's) It never occurred to me that absolutely every other person at the resort would be there with friends or family. I swear I was the only there on my own.

Several people spoke to me during my stay to say, "Are you here ALONE??" or "You're here by yourself??" in a mystified tone of voice as if they'd never heard of people vacationing alone before!

It made me feel really self conscious the whole time I was there, especially at meal time when I'd be the only one sitting at a table by myself. I know how to be friendly , but I was there to rest, not to meet people!

Ms. Sarah...I considered going to Mexico by myself but backed out at the last minute, since I figured I would encounter exactly what you described. I think the key is to find a resort that isn't designed for families and/or weddings. I would of ordered room service in your case if it was that bad...