I did the impossible dating an SP. now what?!

[Vancouver778]

Hey. I’ll just jump into it. Need some advice or support on something that I never thought would happen to me.

I’m a regular guy. I’m not rich I’m not poor I’m not gross I’m not hot.
I’m a regular guy by regular standards.

Anyway I recently met someone in this biz as a client and I liked them.

I saw them a few more times and I was surprised at how the emotions were developing. Anyway I called it off knowing full well this was a massive mistake. Of course I ended up going back and I confessed my feelings and said I wanted to come by one last time before saying goodbye.

Long story short, after a series of complicated meeting at work and outside of work, we realized that we actually have feelings for each other. I’d like to say it’s a very deep and passionate love for one another. RS been about a month and it’s emotionally be such a beautiful experience.

Prior to this, had any of my friends shared this story I think I would be very angry and upset telling them they are an idiot. Clearly I have a new perspective.

The advice is seemingly simple but may require more depth. She’s still working. This relationship is new and I never had an expectation that she would quit anytime soon. She is working hard to pull her fair share and I understand.

I guess the question is how does this work? I’m okay with her working at the moment however what’s the long term prospects in these situations? I’m not even sure what I’m asking. Maybe just some insight from those that have been in my shoes and how to make it all work.

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

Whoa boy. You've got urself in a terrible mix. I hate to say this but having her still working
and you having feelings for her is a recipe for failure. This will not work.
Simply because if you are or truly fall in love with her you certainly don't want her to be
getting boinked by every dick who offers her a wad of cash for her service.

If you both are truly in love and you want her for yourself her test for you is if you
can support her and she can walk Permanently away from the business. Or does
she want to? That's the true question of where the chips will fall. IF NOT?

Run fast and hard bro. It's unfortunate for you that you wanted to see her one last time
as she has reeled you in like the fish you are. You do have another option though.

Play it out as long as you can handle it. Or her. Then move on and chalk it up to one
from or rather in, the bucket list.

Cheers bud and give this some SERIOUS thought.



...................QM'r

 

[poonerboi]

It works like any other relationship. If you are prepared to support her financially (in the style to which she is accustomed to) then you can give her the option of quitting if it"s what SHE wants. But I would not consider that this soon in the relationship. I would think she would want to be pretty secure in the relationship before giving up her clientelle. If she suddenly found herself single again, she would have to start over.

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

Poonerboi you bring up a good point which brought something else to mind from me which I'd
like to offer to Vancouver 778 for his consideration and or DEEP pondering.

Now you haven't mentioned if she is FOB Asian or if she is a born in the blood Canadian Citizen.
Point being, if she is from China or elsewhere she most likely won't have Permanent resident
status or citizenship. If she is from here and is a Canadian citizen then she has the
option of moving on to new employment opportunities if she so wishes or is able to.

With the FOB, they don't have this option and you solely will be responsible for her if she
quits the biz. But don't forget she is human too and may ponder what Poonerboi brought
up being that if the relationship goes south she only has this business to fall back on.

So do be prepared to occasionally see her chatting to old clients on her phone or at least
receiving calls from them. She most likely will also keep that record of clients with her
so she can reassume her clientele if your relationship does go south with her.

Some things to ponder over my friend.




....................QM'r

 

[Sphubby]

Treat like any other relationship. If you have something like her quitting being a sp have a conversation about it. Its like any other relationship it has to be a joint decision. Don't make an ultimatum or you may not like the outcome especially if you see this relationship going to the next level. For the reasons said by others she may want to hang on to it as a safety net until she knows how far your relationship will go or possibly she likes being a sp and wants to carry on working, then the ball will be in your court. You can't make her or force her to quit so its something you need to ponder now. If she decides to keep working are you ok with that?

There was a suggestion of considering her status in Canada, I would maybe keep that in you mind but not make anything big about it. There is always the possibility in a relationship that there other agendas at work so keep it in mind but don't dwell on it. Love never comes without risk.

If you can make this type of relationship work it has to bring a new level of trust to the table. (especially while she is still working or continues working as my case) In all my monogamous relationships I have never had the level of trust that we have and it is empowering and stress and jealous free life.

Usually work is work and personal time is that but sometimes the lines do get blurred lol. Even sp's have their atf's and who am I to begrudge someone from enjoying their work when they can. That goes back to the trust thing. Your SO can enjoy having sex with a client and still love you at the same time. Human nature.

I had an expression I used to use when I was younger and in a monogamous relationships which was "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, only matters you come home for dinner" I have changed that in the last 6 years to " It doesn't matter where you eat your main course as long as your come home for desert" (or snak) I will jokingly say "Is there any room left for a Dorito" lol It is what you make of it which is mostly true in life.

I may take some heat from some of the ladies on this one but I am firmly of the thought that if she can occasionally enjoy herself so can I. Don't be one of the pussy whipped guys that are not allowed to have any fun for yourself, trust goes both ways. I saw a relationship with a SP and her SO and she would get mad if he so much as looked at another woman. Seriously? All I could think is that this isn't going to last.

As Qm'r said

Cheers bud and give this some SERIOUS thought.

is very good advice but it can work.

 

[maxic]

IMO should be for you as FWB from the get go ... and if she wants to quit that sp business later has to be it on her terms and when she is ready which may or may not come.

 

[EuroSZabina]

IMO should be for you as FWB from the get go ... and if she wants to quit that sp business later has to be it on her terms and when she is ready which may or may not come.

Yes, and she could jump right back again after a few month of break or year....

 

[susi]

i have been working and in a relationship for 15 years.....it is not cut and dry....

the worst mistake would be to tell her to quit....she will quit when she wants to quit....and who cares about the "sex" part of her work...if you love each other that's all that matters. who cares if her work includes sex?

when you work with/ have sex with a client...it is for his pleasure and the way he likes it...even in domme....when you make love with an intimate partner it's mutual.......the pleasure is for both people ...

i have always been surprised by clients saying - she lets anyone fuck her - she takes money for sex....so what? you either love her or you don't...

being open and accepting of each other for who you are ...is the foundation of a good relationship...

telling someone to change for you....is not. why should she change? is she not good enough the way she is?

my advice - leave the jealousy at the door and embrace what could be the love of your life if you have the strength to accept her for who she is as she is...

love susie

 

[Biguy]

i have been working and in a relationship for 15 years.....it is not cut and dry....

the worst mistake would be to tell her to quit....she will quit when she wants to quit....and who cares about the "sex" part of her work...if you love each other that's all that matters. who cares if her work includes sex?

when you work with/ have sex with a client...it is for his pleasure and the way he likes it...even in domme....when you make love with an intimate partner it's mutual.......the pleasure is for both people ...

i have always been surprised by clients saying - she lets anyone fuck her - she takes money for sex....so what? you either love her or you don't...

being open and accepting of each other for who you are ...is the foundation of a good relationship...

telling someone to change for you....is not. why should she change? is she not good enough the way she is?

my advice - leave the jealousy at the door and embrace what could be the love of your life if you have the strength to accept her for who she is as she is...

love susie

Exactly the correct comment and advice, Susie.

 

[Addison Cortez]

Whoa boy. You've got urself in a terrible mix. I hate to say this but having her still working
and you having feelings for her is a recipe for failure. This will not work.
Simply because if you are or truly fall in love with her you certainly don't want her to be
getting boinked by every dick who offers her a wad of cash for her service.

If you both are truly in love and you want her for yourself her test for you is if you
can support her and she can walk Permanently away from the business. Or does
she want to? That's the true question of where the chips will fall. IF NOT?

Run fast and hard bro. It's unfortunate for you that you wanted to see her one last time
as she has reeled you in like the fish you are. You do have another option though.

Play it out as long as you can handle it. Or her. Then move on and chalk it up to one
from or rather in, the bucket list.

Cheers bud and give this some SERIOUS thought.



...................QM'r

What a disgusting outlook on life. How do you live with yourself? The guy didn't even state whether or not he would ever ask her to quit, like possibly they can work it out. It is only started and can't even call this a beginning. How does anything start without a chance. Holy fuck. Your outlook is sure as fuck way darker than my evil twisted mind.

OP: I mean clearly you understand she is in business and that personal feelings are separate from business. Just communicate about everything and when one party no longer participates in making it work, it's time to let it go...

 

[Addison Cortez]

the possibilities of a comfortable life together are endless with these two incomes

 

[Drek]

Whoa boy. You've got urself in a terrible mix. I hate to say this but having her still working
and you having feelings for her is a recipe for failure. This will not work.
Simply because if you are or truly fall in love with her you certainly don't want her to be
getting boinked by every dick who offers her a wad of cash for her service.

If you both are truly in love and you want her for yourself her test for you is if you
can support her and she can walk Permanently away from the business. Or does
she want to? That's the true question of where the chips will fall. IF NOT?

Run fast and hard bro. It's unfortunate for you that you wanted to see her one last time
as she has reeled you in like the fish you are. You do have another option though.

Play it out as long as you can handle it. Or her. Then move on and chalk it up to one
from or rather in, the bucket list.

Cheers bud and give this some SERIOUS thought.



...................QM'r

I am really disappointed in this answer and hope the OP disregards it completely. It leaves no room for love and acceptance of each other and just assumes that nobody could ever have a real meaningful and lasting relationship with a working SP. Is this just your opinion or do you have some personal experience with this? Just because you could never do this doesn't mean he couldn't.

To me he obviously knows what she does so how could he ever be judgemental about her continuing on with it as long as she wants? All (or most) of us on this board should realize that there can be a clear separation between love and sex. The biggest piece is being open and honest. If she continues to work with his full knowledge and support then why can't their relationship progress and blossom? Only if he allows jealousy to creep in could it become an issue.

Very narrow-minded response, yours.

OP: don't run fadt and hard. You could be running away from an amazing woman and your future wife. Play it cool, be open and honest, and maybe discuss some boundaries? Who knows what may come....?

 

[volvoguy1979]

This thread delivers!
op2:

 

[Elmore]

I suspect this is another troll thread to stir isht up that has been discussed ad nauseum.

 

[Forum mod]

You needed 3 handles to post this? Banned, all 3 of them. We do not allow multi-accounting here.

Marc-o 24.80.222.206 [Find Latest Posts by User] [View Other IP Addresses for this User]
Marco911 24.80.222.206 [Find Latest Posts by User] [View Other IP Addresses for this User]
Vancouver778 24.80.222.206 [Find Latest Posts by User] [View Other IP Addresses for this User]