How to break up

[rollerboy]

Clean and Quick

"To thine own self be true."

You don't want to be another one of those cheating husbands, making up self-serving excuses for why they're not hurting anyone.

You know who you are. Not a bad virtue to possess. (Don't get me wrong, you're still a jackass. )

You don't want to hurt her more than is inevitable. Make it clean and quick, don't draw it out.

 

[lenny]

How long have you been seeing the GF?

I take it she has never called your place & got the SO.

 

[rollerboy]

ummmmmm.....without looking like a vulture but if you do break it off can you put in a good word for HiFi Sorry for the levity but it was bound to be asked by someone

Actually, I think you're second in line behind Bruddha.

 

[Cappy1]

intimacy begets passion

Hi GBM;
I wouldn't feel too guilty about the navel gazing. Perb and other boards like this are turning into useful places for the tortured souls to bare their lives and self-analyze. I don't think the professionals have to much to worry about yet.

The writings and follow up posts here are an opportunity for each of us to look at our lives in a similar way as you.

I'm wondering how much of the issue here is cultural? Your passion for "new woman" may be the result of the two of you being able to connect and open up with each other in a way that you haven't been able to with your s/o. You've got the love cocktail effect going with #2 and omg she even thinks like you!

Intimacy can be sexy as hell, not to mention can lead to blow-your-mind passion.

Women are usually more in tune with this "problem" or part of themselves than us guys. Testosterone works in mysterious ways.

Thanks for all your help. I hate this navel gazing crap but thank you all for indulging me this time.

 

[Ariel]

Ooooh! I've been through this one. Unfortunately. Almost exactly the same except that each knew about the other. I handled it very badly and let it go on for way to long. What i learned though was that you can't just be with someone because they are very good to you and you care about them.... passion, attraction, lust is almost more important than having mutual interests etc.. Actually its more important. Yes it may fade abit over time(oddly enough in my last relationship there was no fade even after 3 yrs..unusual circumstances though) but a huge attraction needs to be there in a big way to begin with . Please don't even begin to think or say "but we communicate well "stuff. If thats the case be friends. I really like the suggestion of going away and taking some time to think. I don't envy you GBM. My heart goes out to you because i know how extremely difficult it is and know how you are feeling. Good luck!

 

[georgebushmoron]

Except for the comment that I should have a 3-some, you folks have a great deal of wisdom - more than me on this front! Thank you so much for your posts... this is one of the worst situations I've ever been in.

 

[sirlickheralot]

I assume that you once had passion for your SO. If she is truly as wonderful as you say she is have you tried to rekindle the passion that once existed rather than just dicarding her for a newer, temporarily more exciting model. Perhaps a couples sex workshop or a class in sensual massage could spice things up, or some unexplored sexual fantasies. Unless you are willing to work at it do you honestly believe that any woman on earth is going to be able to maintain your passion over the long term. It doesn't matter how attractive, intelligent, kind, etc your SO is, time will eventually diminish the flame of passion in any relationship, and unless you work at it the flame may extinguish completely.

 

[Teal]

no right answer...

Make sure its not just *the grass is greener.. syndrome* I have watched as someone left the stable/comfortable person for a more adventurous one, and found it wore thin not long after. Is it because you dont spend a lot of time there, that you think your more attracted to her?

We all seeem to gravitate to the ones that are a challenge, or are distant, or seem exciting until we find that we really wanted the one who was dependable and the person we were meant to be with.

Best of luck getting the right answer, its not an easy decision for sure.

*hugs*
Teal

 

[pickupjoe]

A lot.

I'd have to:
1. Stop turning my head every time a good looking chick walks by
2. Stop schmoozing girls to see how far they'd go
3. Stop watching Girls Gone Wild ads on TV
4. Stop visiting SPs and MPs
5. Stop grooming for the purpose of getting pussy
6. Stop working out for the purpose of getting laid
7. Stop keeping my car clean for the purpose of landing dates
8. Stop reading all sorts of things for the purpose of becoming well-read for the purpose of schmoozing
9. Stop dance classes
10. Stop practising not looking/acting like a player so I can be a better player

I think my only hope is to get hit by a car and become disabled.

Dude, gonna give it to ya straight. From all the stuff you have listed, saracm or not, the gal is treatin you like a king and your eyes and mind r lookin else where and your donk r dipping elsewhere. Tell her the truth break it off with her, so she can find someone elser. She deserve better than you Your not ready to settle down with her. Yup, your right it is you dude, not her.

 

[mick_eight]

Georgie ,in the words of Bobby Persig....''What is right and what is not right,need we ask anyone to tell us these things'' read his book,it may help...And Please nothing stupid....Regards Mick... and Good Luck